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Men Won't Date a Woman When He's Broke?

DaMedStudent

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Since I'm off for the semester my two friends and I went to dinner. We are all in different fields.

One friend said some men will not date certain women because he is broke or is not where he wants to be career wise.

The other said friend said he doesn't really like you if he won't date you when he isn't where he wants to be financially.

I said some women need to be careful "coming up" with a man.

What are your guys thoughts? Do you agree some men won't date women when he doesn't have it together in the present?
 

Makeupmuva

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I find that men are usually on the prowl heavily when they arent where they should be career wise or financially and looking for a woman to support them.

it would he nice if they focused on themselves if they weren’t where they wanted to be ! Less trouble for us!
 

KarenKing

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yeah some men are like this. Finances are tied to a man's worth and if he has self-worth then he's less likely to want to date when his finances are fµcked.

This video speaks on it in detail. It's about gay men but you can apply it to all men in geneal

 

purplecats

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Just look at the apps. They all look for women to take out on a "coffee and a walk" date. Even for the third date. And for the ones with even less, it's simply a "walk date". And they act like it's such an honour and a treat for the woman.
 

Morticia A

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That's how it used to be.

Nowadays, men will step to you with their shoes untied, sh!t stained drawers and not a single pot to piss in, talking about, "you try'n chill." I guess these dating apps have made them bold cause man...
 

TheShadowKing

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I can’t speak for other men but I damn sure wasn’t trying to date when I was seriously “broke” but it’s hard to answer these kinda questions because everyone’s “broke” is a little different. The kinda broke I was when I was in undergrad versus grad school versus just starting my career were all different levels. Dating to me is supposed to be fun and I just knew I couldn’t have fun and court anyone properly if I was concerned about paying my bills or tuition on time. Some men don’t care and will spend their last on taking women out, only to end up in a relationship where they can’t spend anything because they don’t have it which will end badly anyway. I just thought it was best to wait until I had myself together and could feel completely confident about my finances.

I personally won’t ever say broke people shouldn’t date because honestly this pandemic has shown me just how many people really don’t have it. And it’s not my business to police what other adults do. I just know I couldn’t feel good dating while broke.
 

Remmy45

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I believe people should date in their economic bracket. Lsa has you believing most people are doing well but the reality is else. Less than 10% of Americans make six figures and if you live in a Metropolitan city it is expensive. If I was doing bad financially I would not focus on dating but unoriginal my situation, this is something everyone should practice regardless of gender.
 

DaMedStudent

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That's how it used to be.

Nowadays, men will step to you with their shoes untied, sh!t stained drawers and not a single pot to piss in, talking about, "you try'n chill." I guess these dating apps have made them bold cause man...
I agree that's why I like dating men whose parents are from different countries where the men were raised to be providers. Of course since I'm of a different race they may try to run game and think they can get off on the cheap but for the most part my experiences have been positive.
 

DaMedStudent

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Just look at the apps. They all look for women to take out on a "coffee and a walk" date. Even for the third date. And for the ones with even less, it's simply a "walk date". And they act like it's such an honour and a treat for the woman.
Yes, this guy once suggested we go to the park once.
 

Greenskye

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Half of these men who approach me are broke. I think I have a broke man magnet. I didn't realize there were so many broke men out there. It's no wonder why so many women are out here busting their butts, working hard. Then here they come with that, we can build ish. If you're a 35 and older year old man, you're supposed to have already built
 

Stealyourman

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I think the key is finding a guy that is willing to share or do regardless of status. Just because a man has money does not mean he wants to give it to YOU.

What if the broke man cuts the grass for me,rubs my feet,cleans the house,and gives me that Amazon check?
 

Haitian1

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yeah some men are like this. Finances are tied to a man's worth and if he has self-worth then he's less likely to want to date when his finances are fµcked.

This video speaks on it in detail. It's about gay men but you can apply it to all men in geneal


I like these type of men but they are not the norm most will date a woman if they have the means or not
 

Haitian1

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W
I agree that's why I like dating men whose parents are from different countries where the men were raised to be providers. Of course since I'm of a different race they may try to run game and think they can get off on the cheap but for the most part my experiences have been positive.
What race are you lol
 

InBloom

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Men are more hypergamy-minded than even women are these days.

It perfectly explains why so many men seek out Registered Nurses, for instance.
 

SafeLanding

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What are your guys thoughts? Do you agree some men won't date women when he doesn't have it together in the present?
From my observation they do date women but it's ones they're not that serious about. The ones they really like or want they keep at a distance because they don't feel ready or worthy enough to get her. They won't flat out ignore her but they're not shooting their shot either.


It's not surprising when these men finally get themselves together they go after the women they really desired. Then they'll date serious since they're secure in themselves.
 

InBloom

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I like these type of men but they are not the norm most will date a woman if they have the means or not
Yep, most men are selfish. They don't care about what they bring to the table as long as they can get their d*** wet.
 

LJJJJJJ

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tenor - 2021-04-19T040836.678.gif

Chile, don't we wish!
 

Caramel Flava

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I think we need to define context of broke bc there’s different layers:

Broke but isn’t ish &/or has no ambition to become anything: is going to date anyone bc his job is to sell the dream to any woman who will take the bait he’s about something when he just wants to waste your time & have a place to stay w/warm meals

Broke but recently graduated from college or in debt bc medical school, law school etc is a different kind of broke bc said person is temporarily in a financial deficit with a goal & plan within the next few years to get a ROI for a much better career.

In these scenarios sometimes this can go either way to where if they meet the one in college or in grad school of some sort probably have a plan in place as to if/when it becomes serious, or they may just be single altogether to focus on school if it’s a rigorous program, however that’s not to say ppl haven’t managed both

Broke but recently out of a marriage to where now possibly alimony & child support is coming out of their check & they went from living in a 3-bedroom house w/a two income household in the suburbs to now living in a 1 bedroom apartment trying to get back on their feet. I expect that kind of “broke” isn’t looking for any relationships anytime soon & might be having casual situationships & trying to get his money & lifestyle back up before stepping to a quality woman
 

DaMedStudent

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If you can get a man when he’s poor then he will forever look at you as the b!tch he could get when poor.
Good point. TBH the only time I see it working is if you were his type to begin with. I've seen men stay with women who were his type that he had when he was poor and then became successful.
 

Balloo

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Yeah I've seen that. After a certain age, a lot of men don't date seriously unless they know they can provide

Plus when they are broke, they have low self esteem and try to use women to bring it back up. That means using women, not supporting her in any way.
 

SnowFlower

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Half of these men who approach me are broke. I think I have a broke man magnet. I didn't realize there were so many broke men out there. It's no wonder why so many women are out here busting their butts, working hard. Then here they come with that, we can build ish. If you're a 35 and older year old man, you're supposed to have already built

I know what you mean. Since I've been single, I just keep running into broke men everywhere. This is sad.
 

GROAN AWAY

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yeah some men are like this. Finances are tied to a man's worth and if he has self-worth then he's less likely to want to date when his finances are fµcked.

This video speaks on it in detail. It's about gay men but you can apply it to all men in geneal



Unattractive women don’t have this experience. Unaccomplished men often target them when they are broke for a come up & resources.
 

Ambi D

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There are definitely men who won’t settle down unless they are where they want to be financially. They fall into two groups, the dreamers and the doers. The dreamers are just stalling and putting no work toward improving financially to delay commitment and adulthood. The doers are actively building toward more education and better jobs.
Bums aren’t thinking about this one way or the other because they do not value providing for a family or woman at all.
 

County4Life

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Since I'm off for the semester my two friends and I went to dinner. We are all in different fields.

One friend said some men will not date certain women because he is broke or is not where he wants to be career wise.

The other said friend said he doesn't really like you if he won't date you when he isn't where he wants to be financially.

I said some women need to be careful "coming up" with a man.

What are your guys thoughts? Do you agree some men won't date women when he doesn't have it together in the present?


Friend #1 is absolutely right. Be aware when a man is in this state but wants to date you. He'd never approach his true type with this.

Black women need to be very careful with the bolded. When he gets on, he will go after the women who he knew not to approach broke and struggling. He will leave your "stay low and build" ass in the dust. So many of these chicks are broken hearted and left behind feeling used.
 

Putinbiebs

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I appreciate a man that want to work on himself before dating. I can’t be broke in a relationship either.
 

Fallingstar

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I had a dude like me but tell me he can't afford to take me out on a date. I wasn't even feeling him, but I thought that was very respectful. Like a year or so later he ends up getting with this white girl I was on the cheer squad with, had a couple of kids with her and I thought that was the end of that until I got a job at the school the kids attended, had to call a parent to come pick them up, he answers and says he doesn't have kids. I knew it was him because I confirmed his first and last and he said yeah that's me but I don't have kids.
 

GROAN AWAY

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Friend #1 is absolutely right. Be aware when a man is in this state but wants to date you. He'd never approach his true type with this.

Black women need to be very careful with the bolded. When he gets on, he will go after the women who he knew not to approach broke and struggling. He will leave your "stay low and build" ass in the dust. So many of these chicks are broken hearted and left behind feeling used.

And they wont feel bad, because in his eyes, your unattractive, fat, or “average at best” :disdain So you cant do better, and dont deserve better.

This is why these kinds of men HATE when “average” women are confident and have standards.
 

DaMedStudent

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Friend #1 is absolutely right. Be aware when a man is in this state but wants to date you. He'd never approach his true type with this.

Black women need to be very careful with the bolded. When he gets on, he will go after the women who he knew not to approach broke and struggling. He will leave your "stay low and build" ass in the dust. So many of these chicks are broken hearted and left behind feeling used.
I agree with you 100%. I know a guy who's still in college (a very good one), has a list of internships (the very hard ones to get), co authored a paper with a very notable person in his field, and etc. He won't date this particular woman (two years older than him and in graduate school) because even though SHE'S HIS TYPE (slim waist, VERY pretty, eats very healthy, works out religiously, smart, same background) he feels he cannot give her the things she feels she needs.

(All the people mentioned are American born Nigerian).
 

LeBronFan

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Personally, as a Black male.

I'm not where I want to be in life.
Especially, no where near my financial goal plan; that will help me build/maintain a constructive/comfortable lifestyle for myself.

Constructive Definition:

1. Serving to improve or advance; helpful.

2. Helpful; promoting improvement; intended to help. Contrasted with destructive.

3. Carefully considered and meant to be helpful.

4. Constructing or tending to construct or improve or promote development.


constructive — definition, examples, related words and more at Wordnik
So, I'm not dating right now.
I can enjoy getting some attention from a single Non-White lady, through conversations.
Enjoying her company through fun (constructive) activities, outside of a workplace setting.

Without dating, or having xes with a Non-White lady.

My financial situation would be much better.
If I didn't become a caretaker, at such a young age.

Caretaker Definition:

1. Someone who takes care of a person who is young, old, or sick.


caretaker
But the only reason, I took on that responsibility was to help some relatives out, in a constructive manner.

Knowing what I know now.
Being treated like trash.
I won't ever, do that again.

The only people I would do that for, is my own offspring; when I become an Attempting Father.
Outside of that.

Nope.
I'm glad this is coming to a end, because I get to refocus on myself; and my life goals.

q1gXESf.gif
So I believe, it just depends on a Non-White male's personal code.
Whether or not he decides to date during his financial journey.

What I believe logical is if a Non-White male and Non-White lady are, straightforward/honest about their intentions; with each other.

Verse lying to each other, about their Individual intentions.
Like couldn't a male and lady get what they want, without practicing deception on each other?

Just my personal thoughts and views (04/19/2021).
Peace.
:peace
 

MrMagnificent89

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It depends on what your priorities are. In depends on what your priorities are in life. Some dudes are happy making the minimum while having a rotation of low quality woman while others want that 160k job or growing their business and are busy grinding to get there.

You can't focus having a rotation of women to date. Its very distracting.
 

Seeing Green

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It depends on how he was raised.

Some men were brought up in families where dad was present and men were held to certain standards. Some men, mainly black men, weren't.

Doesn't necessarily make any man the lesser; his character determines that.
 

Februarious

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Men should not date if they are broke. The debate about the semantics of "broke" is useless. Everyone has an understanding of what broke means to them and if they are honest about it, they will know whether or not they are "too broke" to do something reasonably and appropriately.

I respect men that do not date if they cannot afford to. Women don't owe men sh!t. Treat us right and if you can't, exit left.
 

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