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Moms do you allow other people to style you daughters hair?

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It’s something I despise other people doing my daughters hair.
I hated when my sister did it, I can’t stand when my mom does it, now my ex husband gf does their hair without asking.
Even if I style it pretty they always change their hair style. I feel so disrespected like I don’t know what I’m doing or they don’t think their hair is pretty. It annoys me to the fullest. Now I understand why my mom does it sometimes she just wants to help me but the gf really like really you gotta prove something or you being helpful if so why won’t she ask me?
I don’t know anybody else dealt with this issue before?
I hate the gf btw and my ex husband
 
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BeautyNBrains99

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Op you need to say something, if you already do your baby's hair and don't want them touching her head, let them know. You have a right to feel some type of way if they're just taking down her hair and doing it without your permission as she is YOUR child.
I'm not a parent but I'll definitely make it known one day if I have daughters to not be touching my child's head without my permission or asking first.
 

The Supreme

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I had this issue and my ex’s new chick who is a bald headed skiddle widdle. I tried telling him and he acted as if I was wrong for not wanting her in their hair so instead I started getting their hair done professionally on a regular basis. I keep their hair braided or twisted so that it would take a great effort of time to restyle it.....Too much time for just a weekend visit to their dads. I also stopped the Afro puffs or simple styles when they weren’t home. Summer is coming up and my daughters will have box braids, Senegalese twist, lemonade braids or something similar for the longer visits where they are gone for a week or more at a time. Sad that I have to do this but at this point I’m not going back & forth about it. His new chick wears glued in tracks in her hair for Christ sake! She has no skill, knowledge or ability to be styling a child’s hair. I would say tell your family members you don’t want them doing her hair and try to talk to your ex about it too. Unfortunately while dealing with him he may not listen so be prepared to keep her hair styled so that taking it out would be inconvenient for them. My go to is flat twist in the front with two strand twist all over the rest of the head and hairbows clipped on every single twist. Most people do not want to sit down for 2/3 hours taking a hair style down to then have to style the hair themselves after. It may seem silly and petty but it worked for my situation. Examples of hair styles I use are below. Good luck Op!
9AC45C30-AC87-4856-8EBE-C2C0D3555FC5.jpeg


30137612-5837-4397-9914-7D38FE52C87C.jpeg

98981D93-C72C-4EAA-B777-78FE21824263.jpeg


EBC5816F-9418-4A0C-8B71-D07FF7EF55CC.jpeg

551B5D8E-1569-43DD-8491-F97E217D71E5.jpeg
 

Stylus

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No... don’t touch my baby’s head.

I will always make sure her head is cleaned and conditioned .
If she has to go away for more than 3 days - she will wear braids and they will be tight... don’t touch her head.


honestly , God bless the man who knocks me up...
I’m low key crazy and it will definitely come out when it comes to my kids
...
I watch a lot of law & Order SVU , I’ve experienced abuse as a child and I don’t play with sh_t!

Before they can formulate a complete sentence- I won’t be more than 24 hours away from them. (0-6 years)

Before they can make their own meals , clean their own bodily functions and tuck themselves in ... I wouldn’t be more than 48 hours away from them . (7-12 years)

&&
Before they can make consistent and mature consensual adult life choices ...
I wouldn’t be more than 72 hours from them (13-17 years)


I believe children should be just that (children). So, I would very controlling about mines ...
They would be safe and f_ckery free -thou , sooooo


* Be the mother they can’t stand (now) but will be grateful for later .
& the mother any real man would wish - his children to come from ... you may annoy him, but he wouldn’t have a reason to stress or be unhappy-with his LEGACY.
 

FemNoire

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My mom didn’t play about people touching my hair. She believes that people can curse your hair therefore preventing it from growing. Every time I let the wrong person touch my hair growing up (a girl at school, Dominican salon my aunt dragged me to) my hair broke off. It really sucked cause it seemed to happen everything my hair reached a certain healthy length that took years of protective styles to reach.
The only person who did my hair regularly outside of my mother was a family friend who passed years ago from cancer. Now I do my own...of course.

Also my hair is 4b/4c, people had no clue what they were doing.
 

Star Jones

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Is there any chance that their hair is "pretty" and these women just want to play in it? I get that you don't like it and you don't have to, but it could be a lot more innocent than you believe.

I'm just going to also assume that your ex's girlfriend is just trying to find a moment or two with your daughters that is "positive" and trying foster a relationship.

Do your daughters mind?
 

Paradise

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It’s something I despise other people doing my daughters hair.
I hated when my sister did it, I can’t stand when my mom does it, now my ex husband gf does their hair without asking.
Even if I style it pretty they always change their hair style. I feel so disrespected like I don’t know what I’m doing or they don’t think their hair is pretty. It annoys me to the fullest. Now I understand why my mom does it sometimes she just wants to help me but the gf really like really you gotta prove something or you being helpful if so why won’t she ask me?
I don’t know anybody else dealt with this issue before?
I hate the gf btw and my ex husband

If you don't want YOUR mother and sister doing your daughters hair express that to them. When it comes to your ex husband you do realize he has the right to maintain your daughters hair how he sees fit? You both need to set boundaries so that neither of you are allowed to cut, color or chemically treat the child's hair unless you both agree to it. You don't have the sole right to dictate to him how he wants his child's hair styled. You're trying to create an issue over something petty. If your daughter comes home with her hair unclean, matted, broken off, etc due to improper care than address that issue but you need to get over your dislike of his new relationship and what role his new significant other will play in your child's life. You want to make sure your child is loved, happy and treated well. You are her mother and no one can replace you unless YOU destroy your relationship with her. Pick your battles.
 
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Is there any chance that their hair is "pretty" and these women just want to play in it? I get that you don't like it and you don't have to, but it could be a lot more innocent than you believe.

I'm just going to also assume that your ex's girlfriend is just trying to find a moment or two with your daughters that is "positive" and trying foster a relationship.

Do your daughters mind?
That could be the issue but she’s going about it wrong IMO
I’m sure he says their my children to so he gets a say in what can go on with their hair. I’ve told him in the past not to let her do her hair and he has not listened to me. They said they don’t mind. But theyre kids they don’t understand
 
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If you don't want YOUR mother and sister doing your daughters hair express that to them. When it comes to your ex husband you do realize he has the right to maintain your daughters hair how he sees fit? You both need to set boundaries so that neither of you are allowed to cut, color or chemically treat the child's hair unless you both agree to it. You don't have the sole right to dictate to him how he wants his child's hair styled. You're trying to create an issue over something petty. If your daughter comes home with her hair unclean, matted, broken off, etc due to improper care than address that issue but you need to get over your dislike of his new relationship and what role his new significant other will play in your child's life. You want to make sure your child is loved, happy and treated well. You are her mother and no one can replace you unless YOU destroy your relationship with her. Pick your battles.
This is why I didn’t say anything this time to him because I can sense that this is the reason he allows it and I can’t say anything because he does have that right.which is why I was going start a thread on why I regret getting a divorce... I saw him getting in a relationship with her before they were even together but I didn’t think about her having to be apart of my children’s life on this way. So I’m truly bothered by it but whatever something I have to deal with as far as my mom and sis I’ve mentioned it to them before too and they didn’t listen either. Kinda makes me sad but I don’t want to come off as being ungrateful so allow them
 

Stylus

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Is there any chance that their hair is "pretty" and these women just want to play in it? I get that you don't like it and you don't have to, but it could be a lot more innocent than you believe.

I'm just going to also assume that your ex's girlfriend is just trying to find a moment or two with your daughters that is "positive" and trying foster a relationship.

Do your daughters mind?

that’s a very valid argument .

regardless to hair type - THAT IS VERY MISCELLANEOUS AMONG US IN THE BLACK COMMUNITY.

.. this argument is why , I’m trying to be cool on these dudes - because as a mother ...

oh man ... you not about to have my daughter getting her head played in, by a chick you just playing with ... or a cousin who don’t like to wash her hands!!!

My daughter wouldn’t be “around” as my sons would ....
Not trying to sound to sound ; “anti” feminist

but , little girls need to be protected more than boys - IN THE SENSE THAT !!!!!...
baby girl, hang back- a little mama , and let
ME show you what the world won’t !
Let me prepare you before someone’s else child - or a demented individual, EVEN TRY!

My daughter will be my best friend, because I will strive to be her’s - first !

... not saying I would feed my sons to the wolves (lol) ..

My girl would just be my best girl !
All little girls needs that in a mother...


plus ,If me and her daddy separate-he would never get full custody.
I’m too clean and smart for that .
beside .. if I say ; “no child support - just let me , have them ! You just be active and apart with no settlement involved..”

what man would say : NOOOO



I am tipsy ..
I made this mango cocktail and I love
You guys up here .
So here I came.... this is to explain my extra long reply (lmaoooo)
 

Paradise

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This is why I didn’t say anything this time to him because I can sense that this is the reason he allows it and I can’t say anything because he does have that right.which is why I was going start a thread on why I regret getting a divorce... I saw him getting in a relationship with her before they were even together but I didn’t think about her having to be apart of my children’s life on this way. So I’m truly bothered by it but whatever something I have to deal with as far as my mom and sis I’ve mentioned it to them before too and they didn’t listen either. Kinda makes me sad but I don’t want to come off as being ungrateful so allow them

Stand your ground with your mom and sister. Tell them you appreciate their help but you would prefer to do their hair yourself. That doesn't sound ungrateful and you shouldn't feel sad about telling them that. I was married for 14 years and divorce is hard. You can't expect to be over it when the decree is signed but you have to grieve and then move forward. It may be difficult at first but try to establish a relationship or some sort of communication with the new girlfriend and give her tips on how to do your daughters hair. My s/o other has 2 daughters and when the girls were in his care I did their hair. His relationship with their mother didn't end on the best terms (to be honest they really didn't like each other for a while) but they did a wonderful job putting their feelings for each other aside and raised 2 beautiful, well adjusted, respectful, kind, loving, successful young ladies! Their mom and I have always been cordial because neither of us ever over stepped our boundaries. If I was unsure of something and couldn't reach their dad she was always available to answer questions and guide me on how she wanted her children cared for and the girls thrived. I love them and they love me and I know it's because of how the adults in their lives interacted. You can do it. Take your time and heal but make sure you put your children first.
 

sage

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It’s something I despise other people doing my daughters hair.
I hated when my sister did it, I can’t stand when my mom does it, now my ex husband gf does their hair without asking.
Even if I style it pretty they always change their hair style. I feel so disrespected like I don’t know what I’m doing or they don’t think their hair is pretty. It annoys me to the fullest. Now I understand why my mom does it sometimes she just wants to help me but the gf really like really you gotta prove something or you being helpful if so why won’t she ask me?
I don’t know anybody else dealt with this issue before?
I hate the gf btw and my ex husband

I don’t let anyone touch my daughters’ hair (I have three). Maybe my MIL on occasion

I especially don’t let anyone do anything with the hair if I am not there. I am very paranoid about people talking about their hair (mentioning if it’s “good” or “bad”, manageability etc).

Their hair ranges in texture from 3b-4b and I make it a point to keep them all in cute styles that celebrate their texture. I don’t want anyone giving my kids a complex if I can help it.
 

BeautyNBrains99

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No... don’t touch my baby’s head.

I will always make sure her head is cleaned and conditioned .
If she has to go away for more than 3 days - she will wear braids and they will be tight... don’t touch her head.


honestly , God bless the man who knocks me up...
I’m low key crazy and it will definitely come out when it comes to my kids
...
I watch a lot of law & Order SVU , I’ve experienced abuse as a child and I don’t play with sh_t!

Before they can formulate a complete sentence- I won’t be more than 24 hours away from them. (0-6 years)

Before they can make their own meals , clean their own bodily functions and tuck themselves in ... I wouldn’t be more than 48 hours away from them . (7-12 years)

&&
Before they can make consistent and mature consensual adult life choices ...
I wouldn’t be more than 72 hours from them (13-17 years)


I believe children should be just that (children). So, I would very controlling about mines ...
They would be safe and f_ckery free -thou , sooooo


* Be the mother they can’t stand (now) but will be grateful for later .
& the mother any real man would wish - his children to come from ... you may annoy him, but he wouldn’t have a reason to stress or be unhappy-with his LEGACY.
"I’m low key crazy and it will definitely come out when it comes to my kids"

SAME. I always say I hope nobody messes with my kids because a totally different side of me will come out. I don't have them now but I'm ready to cut up whenever people try it with my nephews and nieces I do not play them type of games!

"Be the mother they can’t stand (now) but will be grateful for later .

& the mother any real man would wish - his children to come from ... you may annoy him, but he wouldn’t have a reason to stress or be unhappy-with his LEGACY ".

And I agree, being a parent isn't easy and men hardly ever say thank you for being such a good mother to their children except during those rare moments when they realize just how truly blessed they are. Because some women sadly are slack when it comes to their parenting, fr. Father's too but I think the child suffers more when it's both parents, like neither one of y'all wanna get it together for your child? Why?
 

BeautyNBrains99

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I had this issue and my ex’s new chick who is a bald headed skiddle widdle. I tried telling him and he acted as if I was wrong for not wanting her in their hair so instead I started getting their hair done professionally on a regular basis. I keep their hair braided or twisted so that it would take a great effort of time to restyle it.....Too much time for just a weekend visit to their dads. I also stopped the Afro puffs or simple styles when they weren’t home. Summer is coming up and my daughters will have box braids, Senegalese twist, lemonade braids or something similar for the longer visits where they are gone for a week or more at a time. Sad that I have to do this but at this point I’m not going back & forth about it. His new chick wears glued in tracks in her hair for Christ sake! She has no skill, knowledge or ability to be styling a child’s hair. I would say tell your family members you don’t want them doing her hair and try to talk to your ex about it too. Unfortunately while dealing with him he may not listen so be prepared to keep her hair styled so that taking it out would be inconvenient for them. My go to is flat twist in the front with two strand twist all over the rest of the head and hairbows clipped on every single twist. Most people do not want to sit down for 2/3 hours taking a hair style down to then have to style the hair themselves after. It may seem silly and petty but it worked for my situation. Examples of hair styles I use are below. Good luck Op!
View attachment 2436257

View attachment 2436261
View attachment 2436262

View attachment 2436263
View attachment 2436264
Aww I remember the braids and twist hairstyle lol. And beads Chile, had darn near what felt like 1000 beads in my head. Lol
 
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I don’t let anyone touch my daughters’ hair (I have three). Maybe my MIL on occasion

I especially don’t let anyone do anything with the hair if I am not there. I am very paranoid about people talking about their hair (mentioning if it’s “good” or “bad”, manageability etc).

Their hair ranges in texture from 3b-4b and I make it a point to keep them all in cute styles that celebrate their texture. I don’t want anyone giving my kids a complex if I can help it.
Should I say something to him about it?
 

sage

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Should I say something to him about it?

How old are the children?

She might be doing it as a way to bond I guess but I personally would feel a way about it.

But keep in mind if your relationship with your ex is bad, then this will make it worse. It may not be worth it. If your relationship was better it would be easier to communicate your feelings.
 

emptybubbles

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I just want to say that if you don't want the gf touching your daughter's hair for ANY REASON AT ALL, then you have a right to feel that way and take steps to make sure that it doesn't happen again. I don't understand one parent making a decision that makes the other parent super uncomfortable just because they won't be around to stop it, especially because it will likely not affect him at all either way but it is affecting you. YOU ARE THAT CHILD'S PARENT NOT HIS DAMN GIRLFRIEND. If this was about HIM combing the child's hair that would be different but it isn't, this is about his relationship with a third party who you don't like and don't feel comfortable with overstepping your boundaries with your children.

Please voice your concerns to him and if he fights you, I advise you do as poster #3 suggested.
 

Diana Hunter

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I'm only allowed to style her hair because I don't trust other people. I might let my sister style it but that's the only person.
 
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How old are the children?

She might be doing it as a way to bond I guess but I personally would feel a way about it.

But keep in mind if your relationship with your ex is bad, then this will make it worse. It may not be worth it. If your relationship was better it would be easier to communicate your feelings.
They are 9 and 7. We don’t have a good relationship which is why I’m so hesitant to say anything I’m very scared of being viewed as a bitter or anything worse.
 

AfriLux

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I HAVE to let someone else do my daughter’s hair bc I don’t know how to do hair. I’ve also been under the misconception that the looser the hair type, the easier to maintain. That’s not true in my case. She has 3 something and I still struggle with it.
 

coppertop

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I would never touch a child's hair without the mother's permission. I don't know any women that would either unless they were just trying to be messy. I don't care if I was married to the father, I would still require the mothers permission before I touched their child's hair. It's the most basic courtesy. People are really strange.
 
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I would never touch a child's hair without the mother's permission. I don't know any women that would either unless they were just trying to be messy. I don't care if I was married to the father, I would still require the mothers permission before I touched their child's hair. It's the most basic courtesy. People are really strange.
This is how I feel I wouldn’t dare touch another woman child hair. I don’t care if we’re married or I would respectfully ask the mom
 

flon25

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My mother does it sometimes lately, but I’m going to go back to doing it again because I think it’s a great experience between mother and child.
 

mesmerize

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This is how I feel I wouldn’t dare touch another woman child hair. I don’t care if we’re married or I would respectfully ask the mom
Is their hair long and or soft/curly?

are they going over with messy styles? I agree with the other font about having their hair in braids when they go. If they show up with ponytails, of course someone needs to do their hair.
 

YANAS

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How is their hair styled when going to them? Is it puffs, twists, braids and barrettes that would need to be done everyday or every few days? I wouldn’t want a child going around with me looking busted so I would redo their hair. Now chemicals, straightening of any kind, cuts, I would never do.
 

Cheverly

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Is it puffs, twists, braids and barrettes that would need to be done everyday or every few days?.
This is the real question. These styles don't last when you have kids that play all day. If you're sending a kid somewhere for a weekend with puffs their hair will be a mess by the end of the day. Are y'all really sending your daughter's to visit people for days in ponytails?
 

Loeny

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I keep their hair braided or twisted so that it would take a great effort of time to restyle it.....

Yes! I never had any girls but I would be pissed beyond belief if someone redid their hair.
So, although I am not in favor of extensions, I would definitely do some elaborate style that is too much trouble to take out.
People in general are lazy so I can't see how this wouldn't keep their nasty hands out of my child's hair.
 

MissTeeJay

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They are 9 and 7. We don’t have a good relationship which is why I’m so hesitant to say anything I’m very scared of being viewed as a bitter or anything worse.

No, he should respect your feeling. Your ex has someone else doing your kids hair. It would be different if HE was doing your daughters hairstyle. And who gives a damn of how he views you. I could understand his argument if he was remarried.
 

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I had this issue and my ex’s new chick who is a bald headed skiddle widdle. I tried telling him and he acted as if I was wrong for not wanting her in their hair so instead I started getting their hair done professionally on a regular basis. I keep their hair braided or twisted so that it would take a great effort of time to restyle it.....Too much time for just a weekend visit to their dads. I also stopped the Afro puffs or simple styles when they weren’t home. Summer is coming up and my daughters will have box braids, Senegalese twist, lemonade braids or something similar for the longer visits where they are gone for a week or more at a time. Sad that I have to do this but at this point I’m not going back & forth about it. His new chick wears glued in tracks in her hair for Christ sake! She has no skill, knowledge or ability to be styling a child’s hair. I would say tell your family members you don’t want them doing her hair and try to talk to your ex about it too. Unfortunately while dealing with him he may not listen so be prepared to keep her hair styled so that taking it out would be inconvenient for them. My go to is flat twist in the front with two strand twist all over the rest of the head and hairbows clipped on every single twist. Most people do not want to sit down for 2/3 hours taking a hair style down to then have to style the hair themselves after. It may seem silly and petty but it worked for my situation. Examples of hair styles I use are below. Good luck Op!
View attachment 2436257

View attachment 2436261
View attachment 2436262

View attachment 2436263
View attachment 2436264

I had to do something similar. My daughter’s hair is long and thick and people love to play in it. I started doing it in more complicated styles and they’ve left it alone. It sucks I have to do this but it is what it is.
I’ll also add that it’s an issue of bodily control. I don’t want my child—especially since she’s a girl—thinking any and every body has access to her body.
 

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Is there any chance that their hair is "pretty" and these women just want to play in it? I get that you don't like it and you don't have to, but it could be a lot more innocent than you believe.

I'm just going to also assume that your ex's girlfriend is just trying to find a moment or two with your daughters that is "positive" and trying foster a relationship.

Do your daughters mind?
An adult wanting to play in my daughter’s hair is ridiculous. That’s not a reason to take her hair down and adults should absolutely know better. Nobody does my daughter’s hair except me and my husband. I’ve let my mother in law braid it a few times and that’s their thing but the maintenance of her hair is all me. She has natural hair and people do not know what they are doing. There is no playing in her hair.
 

therose94

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If you don't want YOUR mother and sister doing your daughters hair express that to them. When it comes to your ex husband you do realize he has the right to maintain your daughters hair how he sees fit? You both need to set boundaries so that neither of you are allowed to cut, color or chemically treat the child's hair unless you both agree to it. You don't have the sole right to dictate to him how he wants his child's hair styled. You're trying to create an issue over something petty. If your daughter comes home with her hair unclean, matted, broken off, etc due to improper care than address that issue but you need to get over your dislike of his new relationship and what role his new significant other will play in your child's life. You want to make sure your child is loved, happy and treated well. You are her mother and no one can replace you unless YOU destroy your relationship with her. Pick your battles.
Baby you have got to be the ONE font in here that makes sense!!!!! Does LSA give out awards cause baby if so how do I give you one?? Lol.
 

Etruehollywood

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My husband's ex used to say this when she was hurt about him moving on, meanwhile I don't want to comb my own hair so I'm not touching your child's unless absolutely necessary. OP is this strictly about your children's hair or you feeling like she's trying to replace you, because she can never and most likely isn't trying to, but just trying to forge her own relationship with your child/children.

I put my step daughter's hair in one ponytail once before we were actually married because he asked me to since it was looking a mess when we were going out. However if/since she's with us for extended periods of time now, when I'm getting mine done and she's there and hers need anything done (wash etc) I have it done at the same time. I always want her to feel included and it's a way for us to bond.

I will say my mother has always maintained that the more people to love and take care of your children, the better. Unless she's doing something to you and or your children or taking your child's hair out when you've done it the same day, I really don't see the issue.

Idk anybody who likes combing a child's hair so maybe I'm only seeing it from chore lens because I don't even wash my own hair anymore, far less comb someone else's child's hair.
 
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Is their hair long and or soft/curly?

are they going over with messy styles? I agree with the other font about having their hair in braids when they go. If they show up with ponytails, of course someone needs to do their hair.
One of my daughters have thick jet black coils hair it’s long she was born with a head full of thick hair and the other has soft hair it’s shorter than her older sister be I cut her shoulder length freeform locs.
The last hairstyle I sent them over there with were puff balls because they (my ex and his gf)take out their barrettes because they don’t like them. It’s really annoying but whatever I found a girl that will box braid their hair for 120$ so I’ll do that to avoid any drama in the future hopefully
 
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Baby you have got to be the ONE font in here that makes sense!!!!! Does LSA give out awards cause baby if so how do I give you one?? Lol.
I get that but I feel like he does this purposely because he always says something like can you do their hair I’m going to take pictures of them like I always do their hair he just doesn’t approve of the way I style it because he just doesn’t like me period he does nothing to help me only to make his self look like the better parent. How do I know well we have custody hearing in may and he has 12 witnesses to help prove he is the better parent because they can’t say anything bad about me just so he can get full custody of them. It’s horrible and he makes me sick. She has also been his side chick turned main chick so she doesn’t like me either. She’s just tryna prove something. Like even if she’s going to help I feel like she could just style it the same way I had it not do a totally different style.
should I talk to her
 
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I get that but I feel like he does this purposely because he always says something like can you do their hair I’m going to take pictures of them like I always do their hair he just doesn’t approve of the way I style it because he just doesn’t like me period he does nothing to help me only to make his self look like the better parent. How do I know well we have custody hearing in may and he has 12 witnesses to help prove he is the better parent because they can’t say anything bad about me just so he can get full custody of them. It’s horrible and he makes me sick. She has also been his side chick turned main chick so she doesn’t like me either. She’s just tryna prove something. Like even if she’s going to help I feel like she could just style it the same way I had it not do a totally different style.
should I talk to her
He’s also called child family services on me in the past
 

Star Jones

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An adult wanting to play in my daughter’s hair is ridiculous. That’s not a reason to take her hair down and adults should absolutely know better. Nobody does my daughter’s hair except me and my husband. I’ve let my mother in law braid it a few times and that’s their thing but the maintenance of her hair is all me. She has natural hair and people do not know what they are doing. There is no playing in her hair

Did you see the subsequent post by the OP later in the thread? Her daughters don't mind this woman doing their hair. They don't mind, because they don't mind her. They may even like her.

According to the OP, the daughters are too young to know what they like or don't. Really?

There is also the possibility that the daughters have asked or hinted at wanting the woman to do their hair. Why? Because they like her and they are probably doing more than just sitting there getting their hair done, but talking and getting to know this woman.

The OP isn't thrilled about her mom or sisters redoing her children's hair, but she is heated about this other woman. So much so, she's regretting her divorce because "she knew he'd get with her (the new girlfriend)". :disdain

As I said, I get that she doesn't like it, but she doesn't like much about this woman. A woman who is not harming her children, but sleeping with her ex-husband. An ex-husband, as another font reminded everyone, also has the right to maintain his children's hair. If he took the daughters to a salon as "daddy's gift to his girls," would y'all be in here rolling your eyes or drooling over a real man showing his daughters how to be treated, blah, blah, blah?

If she feels that her ex-husband is disregarding her feelings, then she should step up, ask to speak to the girlfriend and discuss it with her.
 

gymnfan1

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I had this issue and my ex’s new chick who is a bald headed skiddle widdle. I tried telling him and he acted as if I was wrong for not wanting her in their hair so instead I started getting their hair done professionally on a regular basis. I keep their hair braided or twisted so that it would take a great effort of time to restyle it.....Too much time for just a weekend visit to their dads. I also stopped the Afro puffs or simple styles when they weren’t home. Summer is coming up and my daughters will have box braids, Senegalese twist, lemonade braids or something similar for the longer visits where they are gone for a week or more at a time. Sad that I have to do this but at this point I’m not going back & forth about it. His new chick wears glued in tracks in her hair for Christ sake! She has no skill, knowledge or ability to be styling a child’s hair. I would say tell your family members you don’t want them doing her hair and try to talk to your ex about it too. Unfortunately while dealing with him he may not listen so be prepared to keep her hair styled so that taking it out would be inconvenient for them. My go to is flat twist in the front with two strand twist all over the rest of the head and hairbows clipped on every single twist. Most people do not want to sit down for 2/3 hours taking a hair style down to then have to style the hair themselves after. It may seem silly and petty but it worked for my situation. Examples of hair styles I use are below. Good luck Op!
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I had a friend who did this. Her ex-husbands GF was putting a relaxer in her daughters hair every other weekend (when he had visitation)! She started getting her hair braided which meant she had to take it down before she could do anything to it. Problem solved!
 
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This thread has me cryennnnn. And then in the same breathe, yall want yr ex's gf to "treat the baby like their own" LIES. Yall in here set tripping over hair. Lmaooooooo. But when the gf pays yr child dust, yall create a thread for that too. I can understand some exception but most of these comments are pissing contests and OP admitted to "not liking the gf" matter fact she said hate. But yall glazed right over that. You ain't gotta like her OP she fµck!ng yr ex. Not you. As far as hostility with the woman caring for yr children when yr not around.....thats not smart and the only who suffers is the children. I wish yall would keep it a buck in these threads. Anything she does annoys you and so that's not her problem. I can see being agged about taking down fresh hair but there are other things going on. Have you ever thought yr daughter asks and/or likes the gf doing her hair??? Yall blow me. Send yr baby by me. I won't touch her sh!t. Then that will be yr next complaint. Chile
 

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