Quantcast

Move from the DMV to where? Open to suggestions

AwareNTired

Team Owner
Joined
Nov 27, 2014
Messages
12,055
Reaction score
Reactions
162,039 6,627 3,386
174,030
Alleybux
258,500
So it just seems like there aren't any good places in the US for a thriving majority-black community. You can have one but not the other. And no, if the men are trash and don't want to marry or expect women to provide for them, that's not a "thriving black community" (DC, Atlanta, Houston). And no, if you're in a gentrified area and the majority of the black people are segregated in poor, dangerous hood areas, that's not a "thriving black community" either (Chicago, Philly).
 

Greenskye

General Manager
Joined
Dec 21, 2020
Messages
1,956
Reaction score
Reactions
12,533 2,071 846
11,889
Alleybux
70,552
So it just seems like there aren't any good places in the US for a thriving majority-black community. You can have one but not the other. And no, if the men are trash and don't want to marry or expect women to provide for them, that's not a "thriving black community" (DC, Atlanta, Houston). And no, if you're in a gentrified area and the majority of the black people are segregated in poor, dangerous hood areas, that's not a "thriving black community" either (Chicago, Philly).
That's a sad reality. As long as black people as a collective won't think on a herd mentality for our communities to flourish, then whites will continue to buy them out from us and build on them (gentrification). This leaves blacks scattered and relocating from city to city and state to state searching for jobs, housing, mates, education, etc. You don't see whites buying out Chinatown in San Francisco and NYC and most large cities. Gentrification is basically modern day Black Wall Street. Black Wall Street was our last thriving community. This is why there should be reparations to rebuild what was lost.
 

Stakesishigh

General Manager
Joined
Jan 31, 2020
Messages
1,691
Reaction score
Reactions
5,850 250 324
5,043
Alleybux
67,843
Relocating for dating threads always miss the mark.

Black folks are an insular people, especially in heavily Black regions and cities marked by segregation. You're more than likely to replicate your lackluster dating experiences in your new city because you are a stranger. A transplant--esp to an old Black community--is going to get men who want to hook up because you have no ties to the local institutions or the major hubs where folks know each other. You aren't marriage material as a transplant with no connection to anything. This is why the font whose friend went to school in Savannah could move back and fit right in: she was integrated into the community by going to college with the locals. She knows the region and the culture.

If marriage is your top goal, you need to go somewhere where you want to settle down for good. Not city hopping to see what you like. Which means you need to think about job prospects (can you rise up in your field), housing prices and stock, income levels for the local Black community (are they employed by hospitals and govt jobs or is everyone stuck in low wage professions), public schools and colleges (quality of K-12 and do Black folks mostly go to the local colleges and come back home), cultural institutions, churches (if that's something you attend), city leadership & government, and the general culture (slow or fast paced, based around church, the movers and shakers are all lawyers or they're all entertainment industry), etc.
Disagree about the concept of black folks being an insular people. We sure in the hell aren't insular when it comes to white folks if we were our communities or lack there of would look the way they do
 

Stakesishigh

General Manager
Joined
Jan 31, 2020
Messages
1,691
Reaction score
Reactions
5,850 250 324
5,043
Alleybux
67,843
That's a sad reality. As long as black people as a collective won't think on a herd mentality for our communities to flourish, then whites will continue to buy them out from us and build on them (gentrification). This leaves blacks scattered and relocating from city to city and state to state searching for jobs, housing, mates, education, etc. You don't see whites buying out Chinatown in San Francisco and NYC and most large cities. Gentrification is basically modern day Black Wall Street. Black Wall Street was our last thriving community. This is why there should be reparations to rebuild what was lost.
Reparations will help yes. But you have to have black folks that want to work together for reparations to do anything meaningful. Reparations are meaningless if all black folks want to do is run away from each other to be included in non black institutions.
 
Last edited:

AloneNLonely

Team Owner
Joined
Aug 11, 2020
Messages
7,480
Reaction score
Reactions
42,259 3,875 3,391
45,791
Alleybux
17,259
I've lived in Houston and the DMV and liked both. Honestly, dating sucks everywhere. Fonts in each of the cities you listed will tell you not to move there, but THEY don't mind staying there themselves lol. Chile.

Follow your heart. Try them all if you want.
Exactly people on this site are strange. I don’t even see the point in asking someone else where to move just move to where you want geez
 

AloneNLonely

Team Owner
Joined
Aug 11, 2020
Messages
7,480
Reaction score
Reactions
42,259 3,875 3,391
45,791
Alleybux
17,259
Black people need to stop moving to these same tired cities. Atlanta, Houston, DMV, etc. They're all gentrified and liberal hipster whites don't want black people to succeed there or live there, while they swear they're all for diversity. That's why Atlanta, New Orleans, etc has become dumpy over the years for black people. Most black people who live in Atlanta aren't really living in Atlanta in the first place.
Where do you live
 

S O S Y E

Quote me if you want to, I promise you Ioncurr
Joined
Jan 26, 2014
Messages
25,586
Reaction score
Reactions
299,794 6,709 1,091
322,283
Alleybux
69,000
Besides the dating scene in DC, what do you like and dislike about the DMV? What would you like in your next destination? Some people love everything about DC except the price. Others hate everything about it except XYZ. What kept you here for 9 years?
 

BabyGurl11

Tea at the Ritz
Joined
Jul 9, 2018
Messages
2,157
Reaction score
Reactions
10,868 289 29
11,720
Alleybux
23,713
Besides the dating scene in DC, what do you like and dislike about the DMV? What would you like in your next destination? Some people love everything about DC except the price. Others hate everything about it except XYZ. What kept you here for 9 years?

Well I like how much there is to do here from a cultural and entertainment standpoint. I've grown to really love nature so I enjoy how many state and national parks are here. There a ton of scenic areas up and down the Potomac too. Easy to fly in and out of the area between DCA, Dulles, and Bmore. There is a ton. Also, once you start making the money you can make here, there aren't many cities that can compete with that depending on your industry etc, so that definitely played a part in staying here when I was an employee.

As for my next destination, I'm pretty open to be honest--that is why I asked for suggestions. Many of the fonts offered locations I never thought of and I've been looking into them too! I just don't want to live anywhere where winters are harsher than the DMV. I don't mind the winter here and that's big being that I'm from Florida. I have grown to enjoy all 4 seasons so I can move somewhere that has that or not. I want to live somewhere that has a lot to offer. It doesn't have to be fast paced like NYC, but not super slow.
 

Greenskye

General Manager
Joined
Dec 21, 2020
Messages
1,956
Reaction score
Reactions
12,533 2,071 846
11,889
Alleybux
70,552
Relocating for dating threads always miss the mark.

Black folks are an insular people, especially in heavily Black regions and cities marked by segregation. You're more than likely to replicate your lackluster dating experiences in your new city because you are a stranger. A transplant--esp to an old Black community--is going to get men who want to hook up because you have no ties to the local institutions or the major hubs where folks know each other. You aren't marriage material as a transplant with no connection to anything. This is why the font whose friend went to school in Savannah could move back and fit right in: she was integrated into the community by going to college with the locals. She knows the region and the culture.

If marriage is your top goal, you need to go somewhere where you want to settle down for good. Not city hopping to see what you like. Which means you need to think about job prospects (can you rise up in your field), housing prices and stock, income levels for the local Black community (are they employed by hospitals and govt jobs or is everyone stuck in low wage professions), public schools and colleges (quality of K-12 and do Black folks mostly go to the local colleges and come back home), cultural institutions, churches (if that's something you attend), city leadership & government, and the general culture (slow or fast paced, based around church, the movers and shakers are all lawyers or they're all entertainment industry), etc.
Depends on which region of the country you're living in. But, the most "insular" black communities that I've ever lived in were midwestern and west coast. Since, eastern cities are older with a more diverse population of transplants and natives, black communities aren't like that, unless you're moving to a mid-size city or small town
 

Giggles2cute

Keeping it gully 24/7
Joined
Feb 19, 2019
Messages
2,415
Reaction score
Reactions
16,964 1,795 2,294
15,425
Alleybux
409,235
I’ve been strongly considering moving from the DMV. I’ve been here for 9 years and I feel like it’s run it’s course.

I want to get married too and as many have stated in other threads, dating is sucky here.

What’s a good city to move to? I’m super flexible. I work for myself. Before the pandemic I considered living in other cities for 1-3 months just to test the waters so I’m open to that being an option now since things seem to be getting “a little better”. Some cities and states never closed anyways.

I want to live in cities where the social scene is decent, African Americans do well, I don’t have major reqs. Cost isn’t an issue. The DMV isn’t the cheapest anyways.

thoughts on Atlanta, Houston, Charlotte?? Any other recommendations?
Nashville! I’m from there and moved here! Love it!
 

BabyGurl11

Tea at the Ritz
Joined
Jul 9, 2018
Messages
2,157
Reaction score
Reactions
10,868 289 29
11,720
Alleybux
23,713
Op can you take your job with you? I ask because a lot of the cities we are recommending may not pay as much as Dc

Yep, I actually work for myself so the job/career thing for a city isn’t a big deal. Thanks for considering this!
 

BabyGurl11

Tea at the Ritz
Joined
Jul 9, 2018
Messages
2,157
Reaction score
Reactions
10,868 289 29
11,720
Alleybux
23,713
Nashville! I’m from there and moved here! Love it!

Really? This is an honest question, is it a slow city? I’ve always had the impression it is. Are things spread out like some of the other cities that have been suggested?
 

Giggles2cute

Keeping it gully 24/7
Joined
Feb 19, 2019
Messages
2,415
Reaction score
Reactions
16,964 1,795 2,294
15,425
Alleybux
409,235
Really? This is an honest question, is it a slow city? I’ve always had the impression it is. Are things spread out like some of the other cities that have been suggested?
Hmmm it’s definitely a big city with a small city vibe if that makes sense.
Lots of really good restaurants and a solid community here. Like 2-3 degrees of separation kind of thing. I love it and it’s so easy to make friends. I didn’t get that in the DMV. Traffic isn’t super bad unless you live off 24. Or maybe slightly north of 65.


Lots of black people here too because of the HBCUs. And many black folks are doing well too!

It is spread out but not so much because people are moving here like crazy! Still affordable to live unlike DMV. People are so friendly here.

Love the all fresh food we can get here too. Moving here was one of the best choices of my life! In fact it’s getting a little too big city for me and I will eventually be moving to Chattanooga.
 

BabyGurl11

Tea at the Ritz
Joined
Jul 9, 2018
Messages
2,157
Reaction score
Reactions
10,868 289 29
11,720
Alleybux
23,713
Hmmm it’s definitely a big city with a small city vibe if that makes sense.
Lots of really good restaurants and a solid community here. Like 2-3 degrees of separation kind of thing. I love it and it’s so easy to make friends. I didn’t get that in the DMV. Traffic isn’t super bad unless you live off 24. Or maybe slightly north of 65.


Lots of black people here too because of the HBCUs. And many black folks are doing well too!

It is spread out but not so much because people are moving here like crazy! Still affordable to live unlike DMV. People are so friendly here.

Love the all fresh food we can get here too. Moving here was one of the best choices of my life! In fact it’s getting a little too big city for me and I will eventually be moving to Chattanooga.

Wow! I had no idea!! So many things stood out to me. I went to a HBCU so I LOVE the fact that element is there. Making friends is big too. That always helps. Some areas/environments make it hard to do so and are very cliquish too.

The fact you said it’s getting too big city is funny lol. That’s good in my book. Not too fast but not super slow is fine for me.

I totally didn’t realize the black community was like that there. I’m going to definitely look into Nashville. Thanks for suggesting it!

any recommendations on areas to live if someone moves there?

Places to visit or frequent on a trip for visiting? I’ve never been.
 

Southernchic

Team Owner
OLDHEAD
Joined
Dec 21, 2005
Messages
53,564
Reaction score
Reactions
317,120 10,631 3,124
341,180
Alleybux
834,783
Saw this thread on Nashville :-/

Any Thoughts On Nashville?
I’ve visited Nashville once and had a good time with my college friend who lives there. We went bar hopping in the Broadway area it’s so pretty with so many bars, etc. We also went to this nice mall and ate some good food. I have two friends from Nashville who left though and moved to Texas they no longer cared to live there. Honestly I like Savannah and Charleston better though for the southern charm, beauty, and having beach access.
 

Wildrose17

Bench Warmer
Joined
Feb 2, 2019
Messages
8
Reaction score
Reactions
49
60
Alleybux
330
I feel you OP. Almost exact situation. Been in DC 5 years and the dating is trash here. It’s also not as easy to get work here unless you have connections or are government. I thought maybe I’d meet someone & marry. I’m not old yet persay but it’s time lol. That other poster made an v interesting point, when you’re a transplant you have less ties so it’s a lot easier for men to not be as serious since you don’t know anyone they do if they fµck you over.
I went to school in Florida as well and I miss the relaxed feel of the south. It depending on your field there may be limited jobs there.
Also lived in Chicago and the Midwest is sooo much colder than the tri-Atlantic. I know some ppl that enjoy it and Chicago is a little cheaper than DC but you kinda are confined to one area and it’s not as easy to make adult friends since there aren’t as many young black professionals.

I know some ppl who like Orlando, Dallas, Los Angeles and Upstate NYC. New Orleans is a fun city but it’s small. Nashville could be cool too! From my knowledge there are not a lot of black men in Denver. I wish you luck. I know my DC time has ran it’s course so I understand how you feel exactly
 

BabyGurl11

Tea at the Ritz
Joined
Jul 9, 2018
Messages
2,157
Reaction score
Reactions
10,868 289 29
11,720
Alleybux
23,713
I feel you OP. Almost exact situation. Been in DC 5 years and the dating is trash here. It’s also not as easy to get work here unless you have connections or are government. I thought maybe I’d meet someone & marry. I’m not old yet persay but it’s time lol. That other poster made an v interesting point, when you’re a transplant you have less ties so it’s a lot easier for men to not be as serious since you don’t know anyone they do if they fµck you over.
I went to school in Florida as well and I miss the relaxed feel of the south. It depending on your field there may be limited jobs there.
Also lived in Chicago and the Midwest is sooo much colder than the tri-Atlantic. I know some ppl that enjoy it and Chicago is a little cheaper than DC but you kinda are confined to one area and it’s not as easy to make adult friends since there aren’t as many young black professionals.

I know some ppl who like Orlando, Dallas, Los Angeles and Upstate NYC. New Orleans is a fun city but it’s small. Nashville could be cool too! From my knowledge there are not a lot of black men in Denver. I wish you luck. I know my DC time has ran it’s course so I understand how you feel exactly

It seems like a number of us are in the same boat. Good luck to you too! I think we just have to pick a city that checks the most boxes and give it a try.

Right now, I’m considering moving to a city for a few months since I’m self employed and can work remotely. Kind of like you would for an internship. Back when I was in school, I did summer internships and I definitely was able to say yay or nay to an area after that. That’s always an option. Or you can secure a job in a city and try it out for a year.
 

chem2013

General Manager
Joined
Dec 16, 2012
Messages
2,958
Reaction score
Reactions
14,852 498 381
15,120
Alleybux
186,649
Nashville? Raleigh? OMG LMAO! Just stay in the DMV. Atlanta or Houston are the only other places I would recommend. NC is wack. TN is racist as fµck.

Edit: People that said they had a good time on Broadway in Nashville are white. There aren't many black bars downtown. There are only Weekend, Limelight (ratchet), Minerva, and Willie B's. That is basically it for Nashville. Downtown is full of racist, drunk white people. Don't go there.
 

Southernchic

Team Owner
OLDHEAD
Joined
Dec 21, 2005
Messages
53,564
Reaction score
Reactions
317,120 10,631 3,124
341,180
Alleybux
834,783
Nashville? Raleigh? OMG LMAO! Just stay in the DMV. Atlanta or Houston are the only other places I would recommend. NC is wack. TN is racist as fµck.

Edit: People that said they had a good time on Broadway in Nashville are white. There aren't many black bars downtown. There are only Weekend, Limelight (ratchet), Minerva, and Willie B's. That is basically it for Nashville. Downtown is full of racist, drunk white people. Don't go there.
I went to Broadway and had fun. I’m black but then again my cousins and I were tipsy so..,the bars we went to had a mixed race crowd

Also a yt man opened his car door onto mine in Nashville and he paid for the damages and apologized. I feel you though overall southern states are racist as hell
 

Similar Threads

Trending Threads

News Alley

Ask LSA

The Lounge

General Alley

Top Bottom