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My friend is nonbinary and their attitude is driving me crazy

Boo T Hole

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I'm sorry, but no one who isn't giving me dick can have me that stressed

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And even then I'd drop his ass after a certain point for getting on my nerves.

OP, what are you getting out of this "friendship" that makes it worth your time? What does this person add to your life?
 

Essmonet

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And even then I'd drop his ass after a certain point for getting on my nerves.

OP, what are you getting out of this "friendship" that makes it worth your time? What does this person add to your life?

My friend is very supportive and has always been there for me through tough times. But all of this extra stress is unnecessary. I'm going to distance myself. I've already started.
 
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so your friend is going to attempt to become genderless? but in order to do that she has to take male hormones and cut her tits off? has she decided on how she's going to address her female-presenting genitals and reproductive organs?

is she also asexual? because it seems like finding someone to date who will a) complement her genderlessness and b) put up with her constricting bµllsh!t might be difficult.




The thing is though, they didn't used to be like this at all. They was a she lol and was a lot more easy going. Now my friend wants to remove their breasts, take hormones and they've already cut their hair. Yet, they're not transitioning into a man.
 

Essmonet

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so your friend is going to attempt to become genderless? but in order to do that she has to take male hormones and cut her tits off? has she decided on how she's going to address her female-presenting genitals and reproductive organs?

is she also asexual? because it seems like finding someone to date who will a) complement her genderlessness and b) put up with her constricting bµllsh!t might be difficult.
She still refers to genitals and reproductive organs as vagina and ovaries. She is actually pansexual. But yes my friend wants to be or is genderless.
 

tenderly

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Why are you friends with a person who has a mental disorder op?


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i guess she'll settle into the genderqueer scene and find someone similarly alternative.



She still refers to genitals and reproductive organs as vagina and ovaries. She is actually pansexual. But yes my friend wants to be or is genderless.
 

TONYC

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Hey LSA! First time ever posting a thread and I've been here forever lol.

Okay so my friend is non binary. Biologically, they're a woman, however they do not identify as one nor do they identify as a man. This has started a year ago. And this is a legit thing for them, they were diagnosed for Body dysmorphic disorder by a therapist. So they are NOT doing this for attention. I personally, do not have a problem with how they chose to identify. IDC if you want to be blue, purple, green, whatever!

Here's the problem: They're attitude.

Lately, my friend has been super...aggressive with everything. Guys will approach them(they/them are my friend's pronouns) and of course assume she's a woman(because she obviously looks like one). It's completely harmless. However, my friend will get super arrogant and entitled and accuse the guys of "misgendering" them(my friend).

Then, my friend reported a receptionist to the supervisor because the receptionist kept referring to friend as "ma'am" accidentally. They told the supervisor to better train their employees on respecting other people's identities.


THEN, my friend got upset with my mom because my mom asked them a "feminine" question. The only question my mom asked was: how does my outfit look? ...How is that a feminine question?


This one took the cake for me: So obviously there's this debate about whether your gentalia truly defines your gender. I was asking my friend about it and they said:

"Well I just believe it's going to take society some time to reprogram their beliefs. It's sad it really is." Um, what?

Then, I asked them about how they felt about some women not wanting to be called cis-woman. They said: "Well, I don't understand why they wouldn't want to be called cis-women, I mean it's a scientific term! If they don't like being called cis-women, I'm going to call them that anyways! And if they have a problem with that, they're cisexist!"

Ummm...

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I love my friend, I really do. They're truly are a great friend. A best friend. And they have truly have gone through some things. But I think it's bµllsh!t that I could possibly be labeled "cisexist" because I have different views from them. I don't have a problem with being called a cis-woman but I do understand why others would! Like I said before, I have no problem that they're non binary. But they're attacking everybody! Strangers, family, etc.

I can't tell them how they should act because I am not in their shoes. I do understand they simply want to be respected. But I am afraid of losing a friend over this. Like i seriously don't know how to feel.

I am questioning myself over here like "is something wrong with me?" "am I not progressive enough?" "Am I not woke?" All types of sh!t. They're SJW/Tumblr person all wrapped into one. It's...annoying.

I really don't know how and if I should talk to them about this. What do y'all think? Am I just a fµcked up friend?


I was accepting of everything until the bolded.

There will be no "upset" with MY mother, over a benign question.
 

Kat13

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Your friend sounds like tumblr personified.


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pullme

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Girl stop talking to that heaux. Every nonbinary I've met is insane.


This.

Theres a non binary girl in my group chat. She would always throw a fit whenever someone would mistakenly refer to her as she. One time, she spazzed out on this guy who had just joined the group. She told him her pronoun, then she became upset when the guy was like "okay". She got mad at him because he didn't ask more questions.

Recently, she had an emotional breakdown after she posted a selfie and pics of herself in a bra. She came in the group chat to rant to us about it because people were liking her bra pics instead of her selfies 🙄🙄🙄


these people are extra af.
 

CallMeShana

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my friends aren't allowed to have an attitude with my mama.
 
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Yeah, OP, I think it is nice of you to still be friends with "them" but it sounds exhausting...Good luck!

I had a very confusing conversation almost 2 years ago with my daughter who was face-timing one of her Tumblr friends. When they got off the phone I asked when did school start for the girl?

My kid: "He is not a girl".
Me: "Oh, he looks like a girl and sounds like one---wait, was he born a girl"?
My kid: "Yes, but now he is a he or a them because he is both girl and boy".
Me: "Is he transitioning"?
My kid: "No".
Me: "So she looks and sounds like a girl but wants to be referred to as a boy"?:e5_25:
My kid: "Yes, he and they are his pronouns". "Respect his pronouns".
Me: "But if he is both, why can't "he" be called a "she", also"?

Silence.

Anyway, I told my daughter calling one person "they" was ridiculous and not even grammatically correct.

A few months ago, my daughter told me "he" was back to being a "she" and now has a boyfriend.:e3_25:
 

Essmonet

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my friends aren't allowed to have an attitude with my mama.

Trust me, I was not happy. I defended my mom. My mom was PISSED! Doesn't want to be around the girl at all.
 

Essmonet

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Why are you friends with a person who has a mental disorder op?


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This all started last yr. Didn't used to be like this at all.
 

Ashy Larry

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This.

Theres a non binary girl in my group chat. She would always throw a fit whenever someone would mistakenly refer to her as she. One time, she spazzed out on this guy who had just joined the group. She told him her pronoun, then she became upset when the guy was like "okay". She got mad at him because he didn't ask more questions.

Recently, she had an emotional breakdown after she posted a selfie and pics of herself in a bra. She came in the group chat to rant to us about it because people were liking her bra pics instead of her selfies 🙄🙄🙄


these people are extra af.

sh!t like that is exactly why I steer clear of them. Most of them are only looking for attention tbh. I'm not saying that they all are but some people just love being extra for no damn reason.
 

Ziv

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I feel like a little red Corvette even though I'm technically a person and was born looking and functioning as a person.

My psychiatrist said, no, you're not actually a little red Corvette, you're actually a person with a disease that deludes you with that thought.

Now here's my problem: I'm upset because no one will call me a little red Corvette ... They keep pissing me off by calling me a person!
 

beakiddo

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Why don't we just all call each other "it" and be done with it:e1_25:

This is getting ridiculous. What makes it worse is that it blurs the line for legitimate conversations about identity.
 

alluringlysweet

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They is crazy. Not the cute, fun crazy but the straight jacket, don't leave around small kids and pet crazy. The don't go to sleep and leave her up by herself because she may decide to burn everything associated with femininity and set the house on fire crazy. The "run as fast as you can" type of crazy.
 

Ziv

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OK that was slightly flippant and I get that it's painful to live with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, but it is, by nature, a mental distortion of reality.

People who are thin and think they are fat also often have BDD. So do many ppl who get too much plastic surgery.
Should their delusions, or anyone else's be supported?

I won't challenge what people want to call themselves but I personally choose not to refer to them as anything (when around them) as it regards their gender.
 

AgnesGooch

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They have a mental disorder. BDD is a real mental disorder and can take many forms. I guess you have to ask yourself if your friendship is stronger than her mental illness. She may never get better.
 

Love Gun

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This is too much. Life is already complicated I don't need all this extra sh!t.
 

Irradiate

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I got to do some research... Initially I'm thinking this was some kind of math equation ..
Non-binary/binary.

I also feel like when I read the word "cisexist" I'm pronouncing it wrong or like the word is missing an "s" ( random sorry )

My initial reaction is that ur friend is crazy and has sucked u into her psychosis because she has made her crazy seem normal.

This is like an episode of upside down world.

I'm confused so I'm going to read through this again before offering advice...or attempting to.
 

Irradiate

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Ok so I just re-read it and .....
I got nothing... Idk.
Non-binary or not you're feelings and well being matter too not just ur friend. That's what I am sure of.
 

MsBabyblue

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I cant deal with ppl like this, it's too much damn work and its hard enough for me to not be offensive already.
 

awwwsugar

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The thing is though, they didn't used to be like this at all. They was a she lol and was a lot more easy going. Now my friend wants to remove their breasts, take hormones and they've already cut their hair. Yet, they're not transitioning into a man.

They also want me to start calling them by their new masculine middle name but only sometimes. I told them it's going to be difficult because I''ve only known them by their first name for so long. They're response was "well my other friends do it".

Just...just...too much to remember...lawd


giphy.gif




Dump her and let her crazy ass go be friends with her own kind! :eek1: :e5_25:
 

Lioness...

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My friend is in therapy, they actually have two therapists. You know what's fµcked up though? They tell her two different things! One therapist tells her to be more patient while the other tell hers to be more assertive!!

Sad...all therapists are not created equal.

Why are you friends with a person who has a mental disorder op?


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This. Plain and simple. Ain't nobody got time for all of that!! She wouldn't be my friend!! I'm not entertaining that. I don't understand people creating complications where none should exist.

Yeah, OP, I think it is nice of you to still be friends with "them" but it sounds exhausting...Good luck!

I had a very confusing conversation almost 2 years ago with my daughter who was face-timing one of her Tumblr friends. When they got off the phone I asked when did school start for the girl?

My kid: "He is not a girl".
Me: "Oh, he looks like a girl and sounds like one---wait, was he born a girl"?
My kid: "Yes, but now he is a he or a them because he is both girl and boy".
Me: "Is he transitioning"?
My kid: "No".
Me: "So she looks and sounds like a girl but wants to be referred to as a boy"?:e5_25:
My kid: "Yes, he and they are his pronouns". "Respect his pronouns".
Me: "But if he is both, why can't "he" be called a "she", also"?

Silence.

Anyway, I told my daughter calling one person "they" was ridiculous and not even grammatically correct.

A few months ago, my daughter told me "he" was back to being a "she" and now has a boyfriend.:e3_25:

This is why I home-school my youngest.
 

rubyhikesamile

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I know someone who identifies as non-binary. I don't agree with the concept but I respect his wish to be referred to as "they". He doesn't care when people misgender him because he understands that most people are going to see him as a man and judge him accordingly. He's not nearly as annoying as your friend though. I would advise you to stay away from most of these "non-binary/genderqueer" people. They're hyperaggressive, hypersensitive, narcissistic, and make you out to be the worst person in the world if you don't think that the gender binary should be destroyed.

I just can't agree with any of this sh!t. I haven't been convinced by anyone why being "nonbinary" is a valid identity.

IT'S VALID BECAUSE THEY NEED TO BE SPECIAL!! How else is a person suppose to get attention in today's society?
 

ViceHaze

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Lol naw, Hispanic.

(I'm late to reply as usual, sorry :/)

Hispanic is close enough in my book lol

Anyway, that's not really important. What's really important is that you surround youself with friend who are willing and able to give you as much as love, respect, and attention as you are able to give to them. Sure, you friend is awesome when they aren't triggered, I get that. But to be easily triggered by such as thing and be so hypocritical and rude to your own flesh and blood is too much.

And I'm more than certain that they know that it isn't right. But they choose not work on that--which in my opinion, no longer makes worthy of someone so awesome as yourself.


Some fonts may have already said this but--and you may have already said this but--

I think you should be upfront about all of this. Give her an ultimatum.

Have this person apologize to your mom, and work on this issue that they have or you two can't be friends.
 

Arcee

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Why are we entertaining mental illness? Body Dysmorphic Disorder needs to be treated, not have the symptoms indulged.

The human mind is a program to recognize and categorized.

If you are a woman, don't get mad because people see and identity you as such.


You need to drop "their" ass because "they" is getting on my gawd damn nerves and I don't even know the b!tch.
5a7bcaa2f34ac5d5a0d7e206682e6fa8.jpg



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