Quantcast

My supervisor wants me to quit my job

iamnicki

Team Owner
Joined
May 28, 2016
Messages
7,882
Reaction score
Reactions
48,175 678 185
51,185
Alleybux
2,679
I'm going to try to make this as short as I can.

I have two part time jobs in the same field, working for a different city and county. The one I have the issue with was my first job ever right after high school, which I've had for 8 years. My current supervisor has been been that for a few years through promotion, but he's worked for over 15 years at this place.

My issue is his lack of communication skills, his interaction with me and him not being sufficient in his supervisory role. My first impression of him years ago was that he was shy and a bit awkward, but it was never an issue for me because we didn't work directly together. Cut to him being my supervisor, and he is the type of person who is more comfortable communicating everything through email. He even chose to write his "introduction" through email. I find that the personality he is through email is not the same individual that I get in person. At first an issue arose when I emailed him about switching one of my shifts to another day (which he steadfastly denied), but another time when I was at work and requested a change, it was no issue to the point of asking what day and time I wanted.

Some time last year, out of the blue he sent me an unsolicited message on my personal email (mind you, for this job all of the people at my position have no work emails, but my other job everyone has a work email), and basically said that he knows I hate my job, and that I'm "clever and well-spoken" and that I'm young and should worry about wasting my time at a job that could be a dead end. I'll try and post a screen shot, but we never had any sort of conversation relating to anything he mentioned in the email. I actually sent a screenshot to a few friends and family members as I was so upset, and at my other job! The next day, while CC'ing his supervisor, I responded that if he would like to have a conversation, please set up a time. I purposely did not respond to anything in that email. His email was sent on a Friday, and I came in on a Monday (he conveniently called in sick), and I had an hour conversation with his supervisor, who assured me that it was not a sanctioned email, there have been no concerns about me and that he had already escalated it to his supervisor. The four of us ended up having this big meeting, and because I felt I didn't say all of my piece, I later requested another meeting with just myself, my supervisor and his immediate supervisor. He was reprimanded, and all was sufficient on my end, though I never got an answer on what inspired this message.

So the current issue is that the city is throwing a company picnic which would be during my regular shift, so we will open after the picnic. He sends the weekly schedules instead of having them posted at our work site (my preference, and a change he didn't ask any of us about), and I saw that he had removed my hours. I also saw that everyone else who works that day have hours that start after the picnic, and one person had extra hours for that day. I asked why my hours were taken away; he then responds that "we're closed the morning of the picnic. Please read all your e-mails since I covered this in at least two other ones, including the one you're responding to." Which was not true.

Last month I worked a pretty limited schedule, as I've had staff changes at my other job, and I was offered extra hours. I make a lot more working for this other city, even get beautiful benefits as a part time worker. I've also promoted twice in the five years I've worked there, and have not had any success despite my many attempts at my first job. My supervisor's supervisor is someone I feel more comfortable talking to about my concerns (even casual conversation), and he was the one that encouraged me to apply for the position my current supervisor holds (I didn't care to, but on the strength of his insistence I applied last minute, and I got really far in the interview process).

Not only is the revoking of hours an issue for me, but almost two months ago I gave him a list of concerns that came up when I was helping a new hire, and I never got word back from him on any of it. This is not the first time, which is why I gave a physical paper. I conveniently gave his supervisor the same list, and we've already had conversations on the progress he was able to get, and things are already in motion. My supervisor doesn't even know all of this. Honestly due to the pay and immediate supervisor, this is not a job I need or see myself going far in. My sister and former coworker/friend says I should have quit a long time ago, but there is a benefit of length of city service that I'm looking into, which is the only reason I am staying for now; plus his supervisor is mad cool and always looking out for me. But a petty part of me is not wanting him to feel as if he's pushed me out, but that when I leave it will be on my terms.

I guess my question is how would you handle yourself in a situation like this? What do you think the next move on my part should be?
 
Last edited:

iamnicki

Team Owner
Joined
May 28, 2016
Messages
7,882
Reaction score
Reactions
48,175 678 185
51,185
Alleybux
2,679
Damn, this is long as hell, sorry. But I wanted to make sure I got relevant details in here.
 

TrueLifeDiva

I slay everyday
Joined
Aug 7, 2014
Messages
3,411
Reaction score
Reactions
23,758 856 124
26,864
Alleybux
37,110
That's a lot of meetings, emails, and secretly going over people's heads. Definitely do not let him force you into quitting or doing something that might damage your reputation. Since you know what he is up to, make moves to get in a place where he can't mess with you. All this check and checkmate sh!t gets real old. You just want to do your job and prosper in life. Not deal with his issues.
 

SMilano

She protecc, but she also attacc
Joined
Jan 6, 2017
Messages
1,008
Reaction score
Reactions
10,189 689 45
11,690
Alleybux
1,155
You did the right thing. Your supervisor was completely out of line and deserves to be reprimanded. You need to decide if the benefits of working there outweigh his nasty behavior towards you. You have a great second job so in my opinion, you should leave the first one and ask for full-time at the other one. While I don't think the stress is worth it, if those city benefits are that great then rough it and tread lightly around this character.

I dealt with something similar this year and I decided to stick it out until I found new employment instead of quitting. Even though I dealt with so much crap while working there, I don't regret not quitting (it turned out that I only had about a month left after what almost made me quit happened). It's super hard but if you can handle it, stay and get your benefits.
 

iamnicki

Team Owner
Joined
May 28, 2016
Messages
7,882
Reaction score
Reactions
48,175 678 185
51,185
Alleybux
2,679
Thank you so much for your insight. Yes, it isn't sufficient for me that he feels he can "supervise" through email, and I'm at a point where I'm not even comfortable communicating in that fashion, nor do I want to handle anything work related while off the clock.

There's absolutely no benefit to this job (unlike my other), but I think I was just holding out hope that I would at least promote/level up, but it doesn't look like that will ever happen. I think removing myself will make me a lot happier, and might do so before the end of the year.
 

Dyme Peaze

Bushido
OLDHEAD
Joined
Jan 19, 2006
Messages
8,357
Reaction score
Reactions
18,783 63 47
19,083
Alleybux
1,440
Sigh.

This is what I like to call the rope a dope. You have a litigous email in violation of several Federal laws.

Now is the time to make a lateral move.

Do not quit this job. Parlay it to your benefit.

He is socially awkward but likes doing his dirt in the fourth dimension.

When he cut your hours he retaliated. It's time to write HR a nice reminder of his behavior, remedy, and continued behavior in the workplace.

Even if you hate that job, never say it out loud.

Keep your other job, out your business. Just don't.
 

Geekish

I see Humans but no Humanity
Joined
Sep 7, 2013
Messages
2,951
Reaction score
Reactions
20,708 497 125
21,702
Alleybux
116,643
I think you've been very professional and have handled this situation very well. I don't really get a defeated attitude from you so I'd advise you carry on until you find a replacement job.

Continue to maintain your relationship with your manager's boss too. It seems like your manager's achilles heel is he relies too much on email as a form of communication and lacks interpersonal skills. You mentioned when communicating with him in person he seemed more agreeable? I'd use that to my advantage. Approach him directly for questions & answers and avoid responding to his emails.
 

sade

Team Owner
OLDHEAD
Joined
Jun 2, 2005
Messages
29,596
Reaction score
Reactions
144,658 7,683 10,557
138,764
Alleybux
499,279
Never tell one job that you have another one. Avoid it at all cost. As someone who has always had 2 jobs I can tell you employers LOATHE you working another job. They always will. They want all your attention and loyalty
 

Malatrex

General Manager
Joined
Nov 2, 2011
Messages
1,165
Reaction score
Reactions
6,475 120 84
6,823
Alleybux
75,015
So it sounds like his previous email with regard to you doing a job you don't like, etc., was correct. Why do you hang on to this job and why wait for advancement when you say you turned it down initially?

Sometimes "other" people see the big picture clearer than we do. He probably realized that you were sharp and less easy to handle than the rest and felt that you would be difficult for him down the line. When a person is in a position that they are unhappy with or uninterested in, they are not motivated nor particularly interested in being cooperative. Leave and go on to what you are interested in doing with your life. All of this tit for tat is truly not worth your mental well-being. Just go.
Good luck OP and all the best to you.
 

Geekish

I see Humans but no Humanity
Joined
Sep 7, 2013
Messages
2,951
Reaction score
Reactions
20,708 497 125
21,702
Alleybux
116,643
Ok after reading that message you attached I now believe he is threatened by you and is trying to get you to quit by pretending he's genuinely concerned about your career progress. That message is not something he should have addressed via email...
 

NPA

General Manager
Joined
May 6, 2016
Messages
2,048
Reaction score
Reactions
10,270 493 1,136
9,134
Alleybux
0
He was wrong for telling you that you were better than a dead end job...that's your call and times have changed, you can't just tell someone young like that anymore because young people today know everything and do not listen to those with more experience.

In all honesty, you shouldn't trust his boss, either. There are no friends in the corporate world and there is no way that two managers that work together aren't talking to each other. Managers pick their supervisors aka they pick people they can trust. Your supervisors behavior may have changed based on what you think you're telling your manager in secret. I've seen this happen plenty of times but it is not always obvious. Many managers are great at bsing people and being fake(that's how they got the job). You might think you're playing your boss but you could be the one getting played here. You're young...they're not. They know more than you do and have played the game longer. Don't trust either one of them.
 

OrganizedJen

Team Owner
Joined
Nov 26, 2012
Messages
20,063
Reaction score
Reactions
131,839 4,146 8,300
126,829
Alleybux
210
I think you've done everything you could do, save suing the city.
If you are looking for longevity in a government job - I would stay.
Given your positive relationship with his supervisor, I think you should stay and try and advance.
Good luck to you!
 

Sista Saved

The BLESSED Font
Joined
Nov 25, 2012
Messages
23,172
Reaction score
Reactions
137,634 11,156 10,179
129,682
Alleybux
61,761
He's very intimidated by you. Is there any way you can set him up to get him in trouble and possibly fired? Is there a higher up, besides his supervisor, that might be on your side? If you can find any way to make him look incompetent in a few incidents, do it in a way that he cannot put the blame on anyone else.
 

rubyhikesamile

Team Owner
Joined
Feb 25, 2017
Messages
5,910
Reaction score
Reactions
67,992 1,563 333
73,034
Alleybux
8,193
Thank you so much for your insight. Yes, it isn't sufficient for me that he feels he can "supervise" through email, and I'm at a point where I'm not even comfortable communicating in that fashion, nor do I want to handle anything work related while off the clock.

There's absolutely no benefit to this job (unlike my other), but I think I was just holding out hope that I would at least promote/level up, but it doesn't look like that will ever happen. I think removing myself will make me a lot happier, and might do so before the end of the year.

The answer seems clear then.
 

inmydreams

Tom’s baby mama
Joined
Dec 2, 2009
Messages
19,809
Reaction score
Reactions
193,177 5,098 2,469
192,371
Alleybux
494,946
Go to HR. It is a good thing he is emailing everything because now you have a paper trail. Keep it that way! Because when you start meeting in person it becomes a he said she said deal. Keep documentation and keep up with HR. If you want the benefits or to move on up there then do so. Also look out for better full time jobs, too, in the city of that suits you, as well.
 
Joined
Feb 23, 2014
Messages
26,298
Reaction score
Reactions
195,248 3,464 299
225,870
Alleybux
3,650,354
Yick. @ that email he sent you.

You better than me, I would have left after that. I would either take up the issue with higher ups again, or it may be time to chuck up the deuces.
 

papillondee

General Manager
Joined
Oct 24, 2009
Messages
1,882
Reaction score
Reactions
5,337 45 86
5,315
Alleybux
4,250
Please go to your HR manager and report this. He is retaliating because you reported his behavior, and NOW he is creating a hostile work environment by treating you differently than other co-workers. Then send an email to both his immediate manager and the top manager letting them know what occurred, AND ATTACH THE EVIDENCE. Either he will get a written reprimand, if there were other performance issues, he'll get fired or they may move you. Whatever you do, DO NOT QUIT. Let this play out, but update your resume and keep looking. But don't leave until this has a resolution.
 

iamnicki

Team Owner
Joined
May 28, 2016
Messages
7,882
Reaction score
Reactions
48,175 678 185
51,185
Alleybux
2,679
I've let this go, but odd thing is that I never had a conversation with anyone about "hating my job." In fact, after he got promoted I came off the clock and had about a 30 minute discussion with him, and suggested he have a formal meeting with his other subordinates to discuss the transition and really introduce himself (as I though an email wasn't sufficient, though I did not tell him that), and he seemed receptive and heeded my advice, and we actually sort of debriefed on it afterwards. Nothing really arose from it just as I thought would happen, but I wanted a positive yet firm impression made, because I didn't feel he was putting himself out there in the dependable role of supervisor.

It was both a genuine and selfish suggestion on my part, as I knew I wasn't going to be around forever, and the majority of the personalities of the people who share in my position are pretty docile, so I wanted to make sure they felt comfortable in his leadership and coming to him about their issues and concerns. But that hasn't turned out to be the case.

I've never been disrespectful and started out pretty shy, but when I started working for the bigger city and really learned my worth, I became more of an individual. I can't say if it's because I'm a young Black female and he's a middle-aged Asian male (like one of my sister's thought), but I realize that in some aspects like this, I was doing more than I needed.

I really appreciate the words of wisdom that have been posted here. I'm really taking everything to heart.
 

Est Gee

Team Owner
Joined
Apr 29, 2013
Messages
19,254
Reaction score
Reactions
102,024 4,792 1,936
111,198
Alleybux
33,400
Just document everything you have gotten really good advice here. Continue to stay and be professional and get your work done obviously he is targeting you so keep your I's dotted and T's crossed.
 

Vayerling

BLESSED while you OBSESS!
BANNED
Joined
Feb 24, 2015
Messages
16,334
Reaction score
Reactions
56,289 1,650 1,998
55,379
Alleybux
0
I'm going to try to make this as short as I can.

I have two part time jobs in the same field, working for a different city and county. The one I have the issue with was my first job ever right after high school, which I've had for 8 years. My current supervisor has been been that for about 2 years through promotion, but he's worked for over 15 years at this place.

My issue is his lack of communication skills, his interaction with me and him not being sufficient in his supervisory role. My first impression of him years ago was that he was shy and a bit awkward, but it was never an issue for me because we didn't work directly together. Cut to him being my supervisor, and he is the type of person who is more comfortable communicating everything through email. He even chose to write his "introduction" through email. I find that the personality he is through email is not the same individual that I get in person. At first an issue arose when I emailed him about switching one of my shifts to another day (which he steadfastly denied), but another time when I was at work and requested a change, it was no issue to the point of asking what day and time I wanted.

Some time last year, out of the blue he sent me an unsolicited message on my personal email (mind you, for this job all of the people at my position have no work emails, but my other job everyone has a work email), and basically said that he knows I hate my job, and that I'm "clever and well-spoken" and that I'm young and should worry about wasting my time at a job that could be a dead end. I'll try and post a screen shot, but we never had any sort of conversation relating to anything he mentioned in the email. I actually sent a screenshot to a few friends and family members as I was so upset, and at my other job! The next day, while CC'ing his supervisor, I responded that if he would like to have a conversation, please set up a time. I purposely did not respond to anything in that email. His email was sent on a Friday, and I came in on a Monday (he conveniently called in sick), and I had an hour conversation with his supervisor, who assured me that it was not a sanctioned email, there have been no concerns about me and that he had already escalated it to his supervisor. The four of us ended up having this big meeting, and because I felt I didn't say all of my piece, I later requested another meeting with just myself, my supervisor and his immediate supervisor. He was reprimanded, and all was sufficient on my end, though I never got an answer on what inspired this message.

So the current issue is that the city is throwing a company picnic which would be during my regular shift, so we will open after the picnic. He sends the weekly schedules instead of having them posted at our work site (my preference, and a change he didn't ask any of us about), and I saw that he had removed my hours. I also saw that everyone else who works that day have hours that start after the picnic, and one person had extra hours for that day. I asked why my hours were taken away; he then responds that "we're closed the morning of the picnic. Please read all your e-mails since I covered this in at least two other ones, including the one you're responding to." Which was not true.

Last month I worked a pretty limited schedule, as I've had staff changes at my other job, and I was offered extra hours. I make a lot more working for this other city, even get beautiful benefits as a part time worker. I've also promoted twice in the five years I've worked there, and have not had any success despite my many attempts at my first job. My supervisor's supervisor is someone I feel more comfortable talking to about my concerns (even casual conversation), and he was the one that encouraged me to apply for the position my current supervisor holds (I didn't care to, but on the strength of his insistence I applied last minute, and I got really far in the interview process).

Not only is the revoking of hours an issue for me, but almost two months ago I gave him a list of concerns that came up when I was helping a new hire, and I never got word back from him on any of it. This is not the first time, which is why I gave a physical paper. I conveniently gave his supervisor the same list, and we've already had conversations on the progress he was able to get, and things are already in motion. My supervisor doesn't even know all of this. Honestly due to the pay and immediate supervisor, this is not a job I need or see myself going far in. My sister and former coworker/friend says I should have quit a long time ago, but there is a benefit of length of city service that I'm looking into, which is the only reason I am staying for now; plus his supervisor is mad cool and always looking out for me. But a petty part of me is not wanting him to feel as if he's pushed me out, but that when I leave it will be on my terms.

I guess my question is how would you handle yourself in a situation like this? What do you think the next move on my part should be?

This is ONE of the BEST workplace dilemma posts I have ever read on LSA. You were clear and concise.
I suspect your immediate supervisor is threatened by you. The screen shot is harassment.

You have invested 8 years.
  • Have you posted for other positions within this city/town/government entity?
  • At what time will you get a pension?
  • How long to be vested?
If 5 or 10 years then apply for positions within this entity so you will not lose any small pension money if you are vested at the 10 year mark.

Also start seeking opportunities outside this organization. It appears you are underemployed like so many Americans. Whatever you decide don't allow your immediate supervisor to bully or intimidate you.

All your communication should be in email with this immediate supervisor. If you speak in person within an hour of speaking to him make sure you DOCUMENT IT--time/place/tone/what he said/what you said/send it to your personal private email.

You will have to reflect on what you consider the pros and cons. Have you been REALLY CANDID with his supervisor or have you hinted to the problems?

I understand you don't need the job. You do need to fight this battle. You have invested too much time not to leave on your own terms. 8 YEARS of your life is important. It would be different if you were there for 2 years or less.

Your supervisor has violated federal law in a numbers of ways. I would ask for a meeting with an HR manager, his immediate boss and you. Your immediate supervisor shouldn't be included and I would not meet with him present. REMEMBER HR WORKS FOR THE COMPANY NOT YOU. Continue to be professional but don't get lulled into thinking his immediate boss and the HR manager have your best interest at heart.

Secretly, record all conversations IF IT IS LEGAL IN YOUR STATE. Check before doing.

Have a clear memo as to what you would like to address in the HR meeting. Stay on course. Keep it simple and direct with bullet points.

I sense you are already documenting info. Also consider an attorney..


I have only read your initial post. Please keep us updated.

You have invested 8 years and I personally feel you need to leave or stay on your own terms. Don't allow anyone to bully or harass you out of a job ---even a job that won't negatively impact your lifestyle.

Remember you have to live with your conscience. So whatever happens whether good or bad you have to hold true to your convictions.
 
Last edited:

Trudeau

Team Owner
Joined
Feb 23, 2014
Messages
6,948
Reaction score
Reactions
17,130 261 157
16,995
Alleybux
9,630
Sigh.

This is what I like to call the rope a dope. You have a litigous email in violation of several Federal laws.

Now is the time to make a lateral move.

Do not quit this job. Parlay it to your benefit.

He is socially awkward but likes doing his dirt in the fourth dimension.

When he cut your hours he retaliated. It's time to write HR a nice reminder of his behavior, remedy, and continued behavior in the workplace.

Even if you hate that job, never say it out loud.

Keep your other job, out your business. Just don't.

i am not a lawyer, but as the above font said, @iamnicki, this guy is playing games and i think you should prbably look at some legal options. please post this to Legal Advice ~ A place to get simple legal advice* • r/legaladvice for some legal options you can take. im sorry this is happening to you.

@Vayerling also gave great advice. keep any and everything regarding correspondance between the two of you, dates, etc. keep a journal.
 
Last edited:

MrMagnificent89

Still Mirin Being Mirin
Joined
Dec 2, 2012
Messages
20,710
Reaction score
Reactions
90,236 7,625 11,978
78,986
Alleybux
369,400
You good. He already fµcked up. That's not an e-mail you write to someone if you are a supervisor. Let him keep digging himself into a deeper hole. Just document everything.
 

hnygrl

General Manager
Joined
Jul 16, 2017
Messages
1,205
Reaction score
Reactions
12,086 378 486
11,606
Alleybux
620
Your one mistake: BCC HIS SUPERVISOR on EVERY email communication you have with him.

Now forward everything you have to his supervisor, showing he revoked your hours and gave them to others.

Sounds like you're a victim of Retaliation (which is against the law)

Sweetie, quit dealing with him or even trying to deal with him. Deal with HIS supervisor. Everything he sends you, forward to him/her, and BCC him/her on all communications with him. He's punishing you for getting him in trouble.

Don't take it.
 

Indielocks

Team Owner
Joined
Mar 13, 2016
Messages
23,134
Reaction score
Reactions
117,136 13,121 16,447
102,310
Alleybux
971,429
He's very intimidated by you. Is there any way you can set him up to get him in trouble and possibly fired? Is there a higher up, besides his supervisor, that might be on your side? If you can find any way to make him look incompetent in a few incidents, do it in a way that he cannot put the blame on anyone else.
I disagree. Before you attempt to "set him up to get him in trouble" you're better off leaving. Never stoop to that level. Just continue to do your job to the best of your abilities and keep your resume solid.

I recently had to work directly with a person in a managerial role who took every opportunity to "try" to make me feel inferior only because he was intimidated by my knowledge, skills, and relationship with our colleagues. Well, I ignored his foolishness and kept my head up, continued to do a jammed up job. Soon enough, he was redirected to work with another team and I no longer have to deal with him. Sweet.
 

daStampede

Anti-Black Mods' Favorite Target
Joined
Apr 20, 2012
Messages
32,290
Reaction score
Reactions
263,168 5,782 1,475
299,454
Alleybux
1,051,524
All of this.
Destroy his ass! He a vite man?

Sigh.

This is what I like to call the rope a dope. You have a litigous email in violation of several Federal laws.

Now is the time to make a lateral move.

Do not quit this job. Parlay it to your benefit.

He is socially awkward but likes doing his dirt in the fourth dimension.

When he cut your hours he retaliated. It's time to write HR a nice reminder of his behavior, remedy, and continued behavior in the workplace.

Even if you hate that job, never say it out loud.

Keep your other job, out your business. Just don't.
 

iamnicki

Team Owner
Joined
May 28, 2016
Messages
7,882
Reaction score
Reactions
48,175 678 185
51,185
Alleybux
2,679
This is ONE of the BEST workplace dilemma posts I have ever read on LSA. You were clear and concise. I suspect your immediate supervisor is threatened by you. The screen shot is harassment.

You have invested 8 years.
  • Have you posted for other positions within this city/town/government entity?
  • At what time will you get a pension?
  • How long to be vested?
If 5 or 10 years then apply for positions within this entity so you will not lose any small pension money if you are vested at the 10 year mark.

Also start seeking opportunities outside this organization. It appears you are underemployed like so many Americans. Whatever you decide don't allow your immediate supervisor to bully or intimidate you.

All your communication should be in email with this immediate supervisor. If you speak in person within an hour of speaking to him make sure you DOCUMENT IT--time/place/tone/what he said/what you said/send it to your personal private email.

You will have to reflect on what you consider the pros and cons. Have you been REALLY CANDID with his supervisor or have you hinted to the problems?

I understand you don't need the job. You do need to fight this battle. You have invested too much time not to leave on your own terms. 8 YEARS of your life is important. It would be different if you were there for 2 years or less.

Your supervisor has violated federal law in a numbers of ways. I would ask for a meeting with an HR manager, his immediate boss and you. Your immediate supervisor shouldn't be included and I would not meet with him present. REMEMBER HR WORKS FOR THE COMPANY NOT YOU. Continue to be professional but don't get lulled into thinking his immediate boss and the HR manager have your best interest at heart.

Secretly, record all conversations IF IT IS LEGAL IN YOUR STATE. Check before doing.

Have a clear memo as to what you would like to address in the HR meeting. Stay on course. Keep it simple and direct with bullet points.

I sense you are already documenting info. Also consider an attorney..


I have only read your initial post. Please keep us updated.

You have invested 8 years and I personally feel you need to leave or stay on your own terms. Don't allow anyone to bully or harass you out of a job ---even a job that won't negatively impact your lifestyle.

Remember you have to live with your conscience. So whatever happens whether good or bad you have to hold true to your convictions.
Thank you, I appreciate that. I have tried with advancement at my site, but not within other sectors in the city. I'll have to look into that, also with the other two you mentioned. It's my fault for having more information about this with my other job vs this one, but I will update on that.

Documentation is something that has been said by many in my personal life, so having it reiterated in this threat let's me know that everything I have so far will be worth the work. I've been open with his supervisor about things, and I know that he recently has taken some trainings, but I just don't see the progress. I know part of my reluctance with leaving was all the time I had invested; however, I'm not sure if there will be a payoff in my investment. I'm going to try and speak to someone in HR later this week.
 

iamnicki

Team Owner
Joined
May 28, 2016
Messages
7,882
Reaction score
Reactions
48,175 678 185
51,185
Alleybux
2,679
i am not a lawyer, but as the above font said, @iamnicki, this guy is playing games and i think you should prbably look at some legal options. please post this to Legal Advice ~ A place to get simple legal advice* • r/legaladvice for some legal options you can take. im sorry this is happening to you.

@Vayerling also gave great advice. keep any and everything regarding correspondance between the two of you, dates, etc. keep a journal.
Never thought about reddit, thank you for the suggestions.

Freeze him ASAP.
Also, is he yt?
OP, just to satisfy my curiosity, can you tell me your race and the race of your supervisor?
I'm Black and he's Asian.
 

BeautyNUniq

General Manager
Joined
Feb 21, 2013
Messages
4,961
Reaction score
Reactions
38,636 732 208
44,248
Alleybux
480,515
Ehh...I'm on the fence about it. Maybe because I'm in a situation where I'm not happy at my job and my supervisor encouraged me to look else where. I can say this, people that go over someone's head before actually talking to that person never have it easy. Say your supervisor gets fired, you better believe they're going to warn the next supervisor about you. You actually remind me of some of the people at my job that want things the way they want it but when the supervisor doesn't give them what they want, they go over their head. Good luck to you, like someone else said I wouldn't want to work with you.
 
Joined
Sep 16, 2014
Messages
936
Reaction score
Reactions
1,723 44 77
1,646
Alleybux
0
Ok. First of all, remove that screenshot you attached immediately. And i do mean immediately. As in don't even bother to read my next sentence until after you've deleted.
Secondly, edit your post to remove as many specifics as possible. Good candidates being:
  1. the exact number of years you've worked at either job
  2. what kind of entity you're working for.
  3. the contexts re: location
  4. when or where you got the role.
  5. the chats you had w/ relevant coworker.
  6. how long the coworkers been there.
  7. in the follow up posts the race, age and gender of either parties.
  8. references to specific events.
  9. request any fonts that may have quoted your posts to either remove or update after your edits are complete.
you don't have to completely delete these things but you should change the wording to generalise things.
There was no need at all for you to give so many explicit details for readers to understand context. eg.
  1. my coworker has been here much more than a decade but only became my superior in the last few years.
  2. I've been here almost a decade and want to reap benefits of long service.
  3. there was a work event, which we were meant to work after but my hours were redistributed to others with no explanation.
I'm not American and know nothing about places there and how it works. However, if I had a desktop at my disposal and time on my hands I would've given you this advice in the form of a pm with details of your location and roles and a selection of people you could be.
i am not a lawyer, but as the above font said, @iamnicki, this guy is playing games and i think you should prbably look at some legal options. please post this to Legal Advice ~ A place to get simple legal advice* • r/legaladvice for some legal options you can take. im sorry this is happening to you.

@Vayerling also gave great advice. keep any and everything regarding correspondance between the two of you, dates, etc. keep a journal.
I'm not some IT whizz either nor do i have any special skills or tools besides google but the information in your posts is way more than needed to identify you as a stranger muchless someone that already knows you. It doesn't have to be your superior but could be another coworker, someone that man told about this little situation or your sister.
It could also be (i.e. it would definitely be) one of the many messy fonts here thatyou once had a run in with. Which is why you absolutely shouldn't do what the font quoted above suggests. At least until you've found a way to edit your story to anonymity. Besides, odds are someone else already had the same problem and asked for advice. From both sides of the problem.
Posting on reddit will make it easier for an acquaintance to stumble upon it. Your boss even, but more likely one of the HR pple reads through these subreddots for fun.
He was wrong for telling you that you were better than a dead end job...that's your call and times have changed, you can't just tell someone young like that anymore because young people today know everything and do not listen to those with more experience.

In all honesty, you shouldn't trust his boss, either. There are no friends in the corporate world and there is no way that two managers that work together aren't talking to each other. Managers pick their supervisors aka they pick people they can trust. Your supervisors behavior may have changed based on what you think you're telling your manager in secret. I've seen this happen plenty of times but it is not always obvious. Many managers are great at bsing people and being fake(that's how they got the job). You might think you're playing your boss but you could be the one getting played here. You're young...they're not. They know more than you do and have played the game longer. Don't trust either one of them.
^^This op!! Could not stress this enough. Especially if these people aren't black and/or they're males.
This superior could genuinely be on your team and advocates for you. But that doesn't mean his bosses are a fan of him. Especially since it seems so far, you've only been communicating to one person above your boss and no one else. Try to get more than one manager on your team at least. For your own good.
Remember this manager is just another employee at the end of the day and he may be upstanding but he has his own career and plans. There's no guarantee you won't come into work one day and he's moved to a job elsewhere

He's very intimidated by you. Is there any way you can set him up to get him in trouble and possibly fired? Is there a higher up, besides his supervisor, that might be on your side? If you can find any way to make him look incompetent in a few incidents, do it in a way that he cannot put the blame on anyone else.
DO NOT DO THIS. Under any circumstances. Your best bet is to lay low and make sure your behavior, performance, and demeanor is professional and impeccable. Cover your ass and no one can question your work ethic.

Please go to your HR manager and report this. He is retaliating because you reported his behavior, and NOW he is creating a hostile work environment by treating you differently than other co-workers. Then send an email to both his immediate manager and the top manager letting them know what occurred, AND ATTACH THE EVIDENCE. Either he will get a written reprimand, if there were other performance issues, he'll get fired or they may move you. Whatever you do, DO NOT QUIT. Let this play out, but update your resume and keep looking. But don't leave until this has a resolution.
This is what i would advise minus the reporting or emailing managers. At least for now. I'd say let it play out for a while and make your move when you've collected and catalogued more evidence.

Your one mistake: BCC HIS SUPERVISOR on EVERY email communication you have with him.

Now forward everything you have to his supervisor, showing he revoked your hours and gave them to others.

Sounds like you're a victim of Retaliation (which is against the law)

Sweetie, quit dealing with him or even trying to deal with him. Deal with HIS supervisor. Everything he sends you, forward to him/her, and BCC him/her on all communications with him. He's punishing you for getting him in trouble.

Don't take it.

Don't stop dealing with your direct superior. Your setting yourself up for a fall.
It'dbe easy to argue your insubordination and that you're undermining your superior.
It could easily be argued that ever since you lost out to him for the promotion, you have made it your mission to undermine him and make it difficult for him to do his job.
He can blame your behavior for any negatives that come up in his performance review and evaluation. If he's been around that long he's probably done well at sticking around. He may be well respected by upper management as a senior employee.
You should forget about which members of management like you in your workplace and focus on who likes him.
How do the superiors at the top feel about him? If his immediate boss isn't a fan then how did he get the job over you? Who was responsible for his success? Someone was in the advocating for him and there's a good chance that person is above his direct superior.
How does the office perceive him? The people getting the hours you're being stripped of; are they loving his work? Are they on your team or the team of the person giving them more benefits?
Who's he using as his man on the ground? Are your coworkers watching your moves? Are you venting to the wrong people in the office?
----
Email communication is a good thing, dumb-dumb!! You want him to create a written record of his fµck ups.
This is long.
tldr:
  • Anonymise your post,
  • remove the screenshot
  • don't post on bigger forums,
  • bring your A game to work,
  • 'soon as you wake up, keep an eye out for the snakes',
  • document everything
  • be respectful to your superiors always.
 

Trudeau

Team Owner
Joined
Feb 23, 2014
Messages
6,948
Reaction score
Reactions
17,130 261 157
16,995
Alleybux
9,630
Ok. First of all, remove that screenshot you attached immediately. And i do mean immediately. As in don't even bother to read my next sentence until after you've deleted.
Secondly, edit your post to remove as many specifics as possible. Good candidates being:
  1. the exact number of years you've worked at either job
  2. what kind of entity you're working for.
  3. the contexts re: location
  4. when or where you got the role.
  5. the chats you had w/ relevant coworker.
  6. how long the coworkers been there.
  7. in the follow up posts the race, age and gender of either parties.
  8. references to specific events.
  9. request any fonts that may have quoted your posts to either remove or update after your edits are complete.

this font has the best advice here. my bad, i should've advise op to be as general as possible. thank you for your input
 

DasNamel

XXX
Joined
Apr 17, 2012
Messages
7,491
Reaction score
Reactions
3,849 252 425
3,425
Alleybux
235
Your supervisor wants you to quit because he wants to hook his friend or family member up with your job.
 

Old School Me

General Manager
Joined
Jan 21, 2017
Messages
4,722
Reaction score
Reactions
29,153 992 1,086
30,200
Alleybux
0
If you're staying with the city so that you can be vested, then hang in there.

It sounds like your immediate supervisor is retaliating for your standing up to him. Unfortunately, you may need to request another meeting with your immediate supervisor and his supervisor and address the retaliation. Make sure parameters are set as to your schedule and any changes.

Make sure your immediate supervisor is put on notice that retaliation will not be tolerated by his immediate supervisor.
 

SmileandWave

Team Owner
Joined
Nov 1, 2016
Messages
11,213
Reaction score
Reactions
89,167 1,927 782
94,619
Alleybux
632,082
You should be happy that your supervisor likes to communicate via email and you should try to only communicate with him, using his chosen source, via email. Documentation is key and is needed. I have a few problematic people that I work with and most conversations that we have are followed up with an email. I would never quit a job, solely, because a supervisor thought it was best. People need to learn to separate work and friendships. Hell, I don't care who likes me at me job, because I am at my job to work and not to be liked. Most times, HR offices can be tricky. So trying to make your case to them, can sometimes dig an even bigger hole for you. Most times, HR offices are there to protect the company and not you and most time, HR offices will side with the person in charge.......meaning your supervisor.
 

MinuteMade

Ignoring 9.75 out of 10 male fonts
Joined
Jun 18, 2013
Messages
1,673
Reaction score
Reactions
12,301 603 486
12,427
Alleybux
246,009
Hmm...the passive aggressive Asian male Vs. the confident Black woman. This is not a fight you will win using Western ideals and american confrontation/directness. They come with their own set of worldviews that are very different from Americans, let alone black female americans. If you want to, a google search can lead you to some good ways to outsmart the PAAB (passive aggressive asian boss). Even if you don't have the energy to outsmart him, it's good to know about people's gender/cultural weaknesses so that you can either exploit or relate to them. Trust, he's doing the same to you and you don't even know it.
 

missmocha35

General Manager
Joined
Jun 9, 2009
Messages
2,560
Reaction score
Reactions
16,168 526 532
16,261
Alleybux
89,232
I've let this go, but odd thing is that I never had a conversation with anyone about "hating my job." In fact, after he got promoted I came off the clock and had about a 30 minute discussion with him, and suggested he have a formal meeting with his other subordinates to discuss the transition and really introduce himself (as I though an email wasn't sufficient, though I did not tell him that), and he seemed receptive and heeded my advice, and we actually sort of debriefed on it afterwards. Nothing really arose from it just as I thought would happen, but I wanted a positive yet firm impression made, because I didn't feel he was putting himself out there in the dependable role of supervisor.

It was both a genuine and selfish suggestion on my part, as I knew I wasn't going to be around forever, and the majority of the personalities of the people who share in my position are pretty docile, so I wanted to make sure they felt comfortable in his leadership and coming to him about their issues and concerns. But that hasn't turned out to be the case.

I've never been disrespectful and started out pretty shy, but when I started working for the bigger city and really learned my worth, I became more of an individual. I can't say if it's because I'm a young Black female and he's a middle-aged Asian male (like one of my sister's thought), but I realize that in some aspects like this, I was doing more than I needed.

I really appreciate the words of wisdom that have been posted here. I'm really taking everything to heart.

it wasn't your place to tell him that he needed improvement with his supervisory skills. He is probably salty. Keep.communicating through email. That way you will have a paper trail of what he says.
 

News Alley

Ask LSA

The Lounge

General Alley

Top Bottom