For some reason (no one remembers why), she's been called another name since she was a kid. It's a name different than her birth name. So when she changed her last name to her married name as an adult, she also legally changed her first name.
May your days be long and you and your husband always have abundance! What a blessing that your son wants to bear your name!!!Basically what it says on the tin.
We originally planned on simply changing his last name, but a few weeks ago he mentioned over dinner that he would like a new name entirely. One that we chose and is linked with the family.
It seems important to him as he has not stopped talking about it and is very enthusiastic about picking out names for himself. He, now that I think about it, was very interested in helping find names for the baby too.
My husband and I have been discussing this non-stop. He's all for it but I worry. He is our kid regardless. I don't want him to grow up and resent it. At the same time, it could go the opposite way.
Any of you guys have thoughts? Or similar experience whether that be as child or parent?
I just want to respectfully say I don't agree with you because there is a reason he proactively requested his name be changed.Allow him to change his name but please keep the original name as a middle name. The name is part of who he is. Perhaps as an adult he would be grateful for it as well. Blessings to your family.
If you don’t want to change his first name, make up a deceased grandparent middle name that is the same as his and just tell him his name is already related to the family. I personally wouldn’t change his first name, just his last.
His reasons for wanting a name change is not the same was yours was.I'd personally want to wait until I was older. When I was younger I wanted to change my name. Now looking back I'm glad I didn't because I don't like that name anymore. I guess he can change it again if he doesn't like his name anymore. Is it hard to have your name legally changed.
I think as long as he initiated and expresses desire for the change, there’s nothing wrong with it! It’s not like you’re imposing your dream name or something onto him, he wants and has chosen his new name.
My take on this would be that it may be prudent to have TWO VOLUMES.That being said, if you haven’t started one yet, you should start a Lifebook for him, and make sure his old name is in it. It’s forever part of his story and as he grows he will appreciate knowing how he came to be who he is.
One of the most amazing books I have read about adoption is Mia Farrow's "What Falls Away".He loves you! You and your husband are wonderful for adopting.
I was quite surprised to wake up and see this thread was featured. Thanks everyone for your responses.
We talked with him about it in depth at dinner last night. He was clear that while he doesn't dislike his name, he just doesn't feel connected to it– and the feelings have grown stronger throughout the year. Knowing that makes it easier for me to push away any lingering doubts. I understand that feeling and I won't stand in the way of this decision.
Some fonts spoke to concerns around changing his name at school and with his friends. I don't see that being an issue. He goes to a great school with a tight-knit community of really awesome kids and frankly kick-ass parents. We are all in a pod together. They have been amazing so far about this process. The parents especially have been kind. It might take a few corrections, but he wouldn't be met with any censure or teasing. Plus his cousin is in his class and is protective of him.
You have to pay for it to get it changed.I'd personally want to wait until I was older. When I was younger I wanted to change my name. Now looking back I'm glad I didn't because I don't like that name anymore. I guess he can change it again if he doesn't like his name anymore. Is it hard to have your name legally changed.
I see so many adoptive parents especially white ones change names just to change them without thinking about the child. He's 6 and voiced his opinion. So he should do whatever he wants. If he changes his mind he can change it back. This is her choice and nobody is pushing him.
That can be his nickname. And he wouldn't be the first kid to be called Superman by his family!!I'm supportive too but not if he wants to name himself Spiderman or something lmao
Basically what it says on the tin.
We originally planned on simply changing his last name, but a few weeks ago he mentioned over dinner that he would like a new name entirely. One that we chose and is linked with the family.
It seems important to him as he has not stopped talking about it and is very enthusiastic about picking out names for himself. He, now that I think about it, was very interested in helping find names for the baby too.
My husband and I have been discussing this non-stop. He's all for it but I worry. He is our kid regardless. I don't want him to grow up and resent it. At the same time, it could go the opposite way.
Any of you guys have thoughts? Or similar experience whether that be as child or parent?
If you don’t want to change his first name, make up a deceased grandparent middle name that is the same as his and just tell him his name is already related to the family. I personally wouldn’t change his first name, just his last.Basically what it says on the tin.
We originally planned on simply changing his last name, but a few weeks ago he mentioned over dinner that he would like a new name entirely. One that we chose and is linked with the family.
It seems important to him as he has not stopped talking about it and is very enthusiastic about picking out names for himself. He, now that I think about it, was very interested in helping find names for the baby too.
My husband and I have been discussing this non-stop. He's all for it but I worry. He is our kid regardless. I don't want him to grow up and resent it. At the same time, it could go the opposite way.
Any of you guys have thoughts? Or similar experience whether that be as child or parent?
OP's choice was to respect her son's wishes. I am not sure why you seem conflicted with it. Race also has nothing to do with name changing.
It was his request to have a new name and his mom wants whatever makes him feel comfortable and happy.
That can be his nickname. And he wouldn't be the first kid to be called Superman by his family!!
Many white adoptive parents change names especially with black adopted children because they think the name is too black or ghetto or too foreign. It's a trend in the white adoptive community. Then get upset when the child pushes back. And the new name is even worse than the name the child was born with.
Yes, I think OP is wonderful and he sounds like a fabulous little boy who is going to be an amazing big brother.And sorry I meant he not she.
In this case at she's listening to her child and not pushing or changing it because she wants to. The child wants it. Just make sure he understands all of it.
Here are some heartwrenching adoption stories. The children are SOO grateful to be adopted by their foster parents.Beautiful! This makes me want to adopt even more. As I have self-reflected on my desire to become a parent, I realized I’m not tied to the idea of the child being biologically mine (some people which is ok!). I’m even open to adopting older. The movie “Instant Family” really changed by perspective on adoption.
Even if I do have a biological child I still think I’d adopt. It’s been on my heart for a while .
Are you a man? And is your intent here to trigger her into an inappropriate relationship?I have a friend who was adopted. Her birth first name became her middle name and her parents chose a new first name for her when they changed her last name.
I always call her by her middle name just because I personally prefer it over her first name, which in my opinion does not fit her. Her middle name is a common name, but it’s a unique spelling and I thought it was really cool. She said I’m the only person who calls her by her middle name and it gives her mixed emotions. She said she feels sad sometimes because the name reminds her of her birth parents but also loved because that’s how I address her and she knows my intent is not malicious.
I don’t see a problem in letting him choose a new first name as long as the new name isn’t Peekaboo.
Basically what it says on the tin.
We originally planned on simply changing his last name, but a few weeks ago he mentioned over dinner that he would like a new name entirely. One that we chose and is linked with the family.
It seems important to him as he has not stopped talking about it and is very enthusiastic about picking out names for himself. He, now that I think about it, was very interested in helping find names for the baby too.
My husband and I have been discussing this non-stop. He's all for it but I worry. He is our kid regardless. I don't want him to grow up and resent it. At the same time, it could go the opposite way.
Any of you guys have thoughts? Or similar experience whether that be as child or parent?
Basically what it says on the tin.
We originally planned on simply changing his last name, but a few weeks ago he mentioned over dinner that he would like a new name entirely. One that we chose and is linked with the family.
It seems important to him as he has not stopped talking about it and is very enthusiastic about picking out names for himself. He, now that I think about it, was very interested in helping find names for the baby too.
My husband and I have been discussing this non-stop. He's all for it but I worry. He is our kid regardless. I don't want him to grow up and resent it. At the same time, it could go the opposite way.
Any of you guys have thoughts? Or similar experience whether that be as child or parent?
Basically what it says on the tin.
We originally planned on simply changing his last name, but a few weeks ago he mentioned over dinner that he would like a new name entirely. One that we chose and is linked with the family.
It seems important to him as he has not stopped talking about it and is very enthusiastic about picking out names for himself. He, now that I think about it, was very interested in helping find names for the baby too.
My husband and I have been discussing this non-stop. He's all for it but I worry. He is our kid regardless. I don't want him to grow up and resent it. At the same time, it could go the opposite way.
Any of you guys have thoughts? Or similar experience whether that be as child or parent?