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Parents pawning of their children to grandparents

LovingonMe1

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Can we talk about this for a moment. These young parents who keep on pawning their kids off to poor grandma's house to watch their kids while they go hang out in the streetsv or on other family members.I feel sorry because these grandparents want their alone time too but have to raise children all over again.
 

80sCapricorn

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I recognized that when my lil sis had her baby, my mom literally had the baby fresh out the womb...now six years later she 63 years old and stuck with a kid...

while my sister wont even buy a carton of minute maid for him

S/N: I warned her when I seen the play
 

Ava Gardner

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I hate that too. Like you should’ve thought twice before having children if you want a lot of time to yourself. Parenting isn’t a part-time job but if the grandparents are fine with it, then that‘s on them because they could decline.
 

Goonica

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A lot of grandparents love their grandchildren and be happy af when the parents drop them off. They are usually done running the streets and just want to love on their grand baby and then give them back. It's a blessing.
 

Greenche

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Can we talk about this for a moment. These young parents who keep on pawning their kids off to poor grandma's house to watch their kids while they go hang out in the streetsv or on other family members.I feel sorry because these grandparents want their alone time too but have to raise children all over again.
Yeah that’s awful.. and I know that LSA will say that grandma doesn’t have to do it but.. for the safety of her grandchildren she probably should. No one wants their grandchildren to suffer.

So grandma can say no but the outcome may not be good. There are some awful immature people out here who take their anger out on their babies.

Some people really shouldn’t be parents. Like at all. There are people who leave their small kids and babies alone while they go party. I’d rather keep your child than sit there wondering if they’re okay.

These situations are always sad to me. I know A LOT of kids who were raised by their grandma.. not because they were orphans.. no, both parents were usually alive. They just didn’t care about their kids or want them.

A lot of these kids grow up with a chip on their shoulder and go on to be angry because their parents didn’t want them. Yes, they do love their grandparents but that love doesn’t replace a mother or fathers life.

I feel bad for the grandmother as well. She raised her kids already. It was time for her to relax. Now she has to raise some more.

I have a cousin who’s late 20’s/early 30’s. She has about 6 kids and hasn’t raised any of them. Her mother and various other relatives raised her kids to ensure that they didn’t go into the system.

I remember when I was a kid and times were tough after my mother lost her job once and we were just living off of my dads check.. and yet she still spent her last dollar(after meeting our needs) to get my cousin’s daughter’s necessities. Get her proper shoes and fitting clothes.

On top of that she just recently had twins like a year ago... she’d rather spend her money on weed instead of taking care of all of her kids. The (not) funny thing about it is that for the oldest daughter the dad would send half of his check, drive hours to come get her for a weekend, and was an all around good dad. He loved the daughter. Kept her the majority of the time.

But she started getting older and everyone noticed that she didn’t look like him, his parents pushed him to her a paternity test, she of course wasn’t his baby... and now she has no father.

Many of my cousin’s kids have “no father.” She either legitimately doesn’t know who the father is or she’s hiding it. The thing that sucked about that dude was that he was willing to pay for her college, move her out of that hood ass neighborhood, and take care of her.

But she fµcked it up because the baby wasn’t even his. We still don’t know who the girls father is bd the girls is like 15 now.
 

LovingonMe1

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I recognized that when my lil sis had her baby, my mom literally had the baby fresh out the womb...now six years later she 63 years old and stuck with a kid...

while my sister wont even buy a carton of minute maid for him

S/N: I warned her when I seen the play
We're going through this now. Almost every weekend.
 

LovingonMe1

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A lot of grandparents love their grandchildren and be happy af when the parents drop them off. They are usually done running the streets and just want to love on their grand baby and then give them back. It's a blessing.

I have seen several that end up raising their grandchildren when they should be enjoying their old age. My sister isn't done running the streets neither is her friend. Both grandparents are getting tired but will not speak up.
 

LovingonMe1

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Yeah that’s awful.. and I know that LSA will say that grandma doesn’t have to do it but.. for the safety of her grandchildren she probably should. No one wants their grandchildren to suffer.

So grandma can say no but the outcome may not be good. There are some awful immature people out here who take their anger out on their babies.

Some people really shouldn’t be parents. Like at all. There are people who leave their small kids and babies alone while they go party. I’d rather keep your child than sit there wondering if they’re okay.

These situations are always sad to me. I know A LOT of kids who were raised by their grandma.. not because they were orphans.. no, both parents were usually alive. They just didn’t care about their kids or want them.

A lot of these kids grow up with a chip on their shoulder and go on to be angry because their parents didn’t want them. Yes, they do love their grandparents but that love doesn’t replace a mother or fathers life.

I feel bad for the grandmother as well. She raised her kids already. It was time for her to relax. Now she has to raise some more.

I have a cousin who’s late 20’s/early 30’s. She has about 6 kids and hasn’t raised any of them. Her mother and various other relatives raised her kids to ensure that they didn’t go into the system.

I remember when I was a kid and times were tough after my mother lost her job once and we were just living off of my dads check.. and yet she still spent her last dollar(after meeting our needs) to get my cousin’s daughter’s necessities. Get her proper shoes and fitting clothes.

On top of that she just recently had twins like a year ago... she’d rather spend her money on weed instead of taking care of all of her kids. The (not) funny thing about it is that for the oldest daughter the dad would send half of his check, drive hours to come get her for a weekend, and was an all around good dad. He loved the daughter. Kept her the majority of the time.

But she started getting older and everyone noticed that she didn’t look like him, his parents pushed him to her a paternity test, she of course wasn’t his baby... and now she has no father.

Many of my cousin’s kids have “no father.” She either legitimately doesn’t know who the father is or she’s hiding it. The thing that sucked about that dude was that he was willing to pay for her college, move her out of that hood ass neighborhood, and take care of her.

But she fµcked it up because the baby wasn’t even his. We still don’t know who the girls father is bd the girls is like 15 now.
Yup, my family wouldn't take me. I was the fourth child born when they were already raising her other three children. My grandmother got fed up and so did the rest but it didn't stop her from having more. It's a sad cycle all around.
 

CubanBuggzBunny

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My cousin once dropped her child off at my house to watch because she had a emergency. I then drop her kid off with her ex(baby father).

Yes I agreed but after 20 minutes I realized I don’t like her child or any child in general.
 

LovingonMe1

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My cousin once dropped her child off at my house to watch because she had a emergency. I then drop her kid off with her ex(baby father).

Yes I agreed but after 20 minutes I realized I don’t like her child or any child in general.

They almost never leave them with the father.
 

melloww

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wasnt there a saying.."it takes a village to raise a child"? i dont even have kids but i think its nice when people take care of them so the parents can get a break.

if u leave them with others more then they are with u then yeah thats a problem
 

LovingonMe1

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wasnt there a saying.."it takes a village to raise a child"? i dont even have kids but i think its nice when people take care of them so the parents can get a break.

if u leave them with others more then they are with u then yeah thats a problem

No, it doesn't take a village. Raise your own children.
 

Goonica

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I have seen several that end up raising their grandchildren when they should be enjoying their old age. My sister isn't done running the streets neither is her friend. Both grandparents are getting tired but will not speak up.

Did they say that? Based on what you have posted about your mother, she doesn't seem like the type to bite her tongue so is your sister beating her or blackmailing her to keep her kids? If she can drag you then she can tell her that she's not going to watch her grandchildren, if not then it's safe to say that she enjoys spending time with them.
 

TheChanteuse

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Yeah that’s awful.. and I know that LSA will say that grandma doesn’t have to do it but.. for the safety of her grandchildren she probably should. No one wants their grandchildren to suffer.

So grandma can say no but the outcome may not be good. There are some awful immature people out here who take their anger out on their babies.

Some people really shouldn’t be parents. Like at all. There are people who leave their small kids and babies alone while they go party. I’d rather keep your child than sit there wondering if they’re okay.

These situations are always sad to me. I know A LOT of kids who were raised by their grandma.. not because they were orphans.. no, both parents were usually alive. They just didn’t care about their kids or want them.

A lot of these kids grow up with a chip on their shoulder and go on to be angry because their parents didn’t want them. Yes, they do love their grandparents but that love doesn’t replace a mother or fathers life.

I feel bad for the grandmother as well. She raised her kids already. It was time for her to relax. Now she has to raise some more.

I have a cousin who’s late 20’s/early 30’s. She has about 6 kids and hasn’t raised any of them. Her mother and various other relatives raised her kids to ensure that they didn’t go into the system.

I remember when I was a kid and times were tough after my mother lost her job once and we were just living off of my dads check.. and yet she still spent her last dollar(after meeting our needs) to get my cousin’s daughter’s necessities. Get her proper shoes and fitting clothes.

On top of that she just recently had twins like a year ago... she’d rather spend her money on weed instead of taking care of all of her kids. The (not) funny thing about it is that for the oldest daughter the dad would send half of his check, drive hours to come get her for a weekend, and was an all around good dad. He loved the daughter. Kept her the majority of the time.

But she started getting older and everyone noticed that she didn’t look like him, his parents pushed him to her a paternity test, she of course wasn’t his baby... and now she has no father.

Many of my cousin’s kids have “no father.” She either legitimately doesn’t know who the father is or she’s hiding it. The thing that sucked about that dude was that he was willing to pay for her college, move her out of that hood ass neighborhood, and take care of her.

But she fµcked it up because the baby wasn’t even his. We still don’t know who the girls father is bd the girls is like 15 now.

Your cousin should look into birth control methods. 6 kids is too much for early 30s or anyone. Does she have no shame?
 
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LovingonMe1

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Did they say that? Based on what you have posted about your mother, she doesn't seem like the type to bite her tongue so is your sister beating her or blackmailing her to keep her kids? If she can drag you then she can tell her that she's not going to watch her grandchildren, if not then it's safe to say that she enjoys spending time with them.
No, she complains everyday.
 

Hoodflow

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I seen this, this one girl I knew got pregnant by a drug dealer's son at 15 almost 16 and swore he'd move her out of the hood cos his family had some properties.. Now she's 18 and a single mother but the sad thing is she can't even ask her mama for help cos she's on drugs and always moving between places and shacking up with different guys. So she just tries to pawn her baby off on the ex-bf's family or her own cousins
 

PrettyP00h

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I see it in my family now. My grandmother raising my COUSINS kids. She is literally raising her great grandchildren. I feel bad for her because them bay bay kids be all on the internet and phones all day and she just has no clue how dangerous that is if you dont monitor them. With this generation of children, its almost doing a disservice to them allowing boomers to raise any of the generation Z crowd.
 

LovingonMe1

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I seen this, this one girl I knew got pregnant by a drug dealer's son at 15 almost 16 and swore he'd move her out of the hood cos his family had some properties.. Now she's 18 and a single mother but the sad thing is she can't even ask her mama for help cos she's on drugs and always moving between places and shacking up with different guys. So she just tries to pawn her baby off on the ex-bf's family or her own cousins
These kids deserve better
 

LovingonMe1

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I see it in my family now. My grandmother raising my COUSINS kids. She is literally raising her great grandchildren. I feel bad for her because them bay bay kids be all on the internet and phones all day and she just has no clue how dangerous that is if you dont monitor them. With this generation of children, its almost doing a disservice to them allowing boomers to raise any of the generation Z crowd.
My niece has some psychological issues. I used to want kids but not anymore.
 

Hoodflow

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These kids deserve better

They do. Part of me feels sad for her but he didn't even want the baby from the start. She was the one trying to get pregnant for months on end cos she saw the baby as her ticket out the hood. Her bd beat her ass when she was pregnant cos she was asking him for a new phone. The only positive thing about the situation is that her bd is there for their son even tho he ain't sh!t.
 

Zahungscyn

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wasnt there a saying.."it takes a village to raise a child"? i dont even have kids but i think its nice when people take care of them so the parents can get a break.

if u leave them with others more then they are with u then yeah thats a problem
A village isn’t there when you’re opening your legs to a bum who can’t afford childcare for his kids. People gotta take care of their children this ain’t 1245 where people used to have farms and lots of kids could just work on the farm. Also by leaving your children with family or friend, you’re literally giving your children to child predators which a lot of people have at least one in their families whether cousin, uncle, family friend etc
I had my cousin have her 3rd baby with her husband who mistreats and abuses her when I encourage her to go to school and get her career. Then she thought I should come and watch her kid for her, I never gave her my address cause no way in hell do I want people without an invite showing up with 3 kids
 

LovingonMe1

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They do. Part of me feels sad for her but he didn't even want the baby from the start. She was the one trying to get pregnant for months on end cos she saw the baby as her ticket out the hood. Her bd beat her ass when she was pregnant cos she was asking him for a new phone. The only positive thing about the situation is that her bd is there for their son even tho he ain't sh!t.
My niece has already started mistreating her younger 5 month old siblings and it is truly scary.
 

Butterbum2986

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I hate that too. Like you should’ve thought twice before having children if you want a lot of time to yourself. Parenting isn’t a part-time job but if the grandparents are fine with it, then that‘s on them because they could decline.
I feel the same about stay at home wealthy moms who have all these nannies. why have kids then if your going to outsource their care? This culture of selfish parenting is the in thing now and your almost shamed if your told to put your kids first.
 

Sophia Home Now

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They do. Part of me feels sad for her but he didn't even want the baby from the start. She was the one trying to get pregnant for months on end cos she saw the baby as her ticket out the hood. Her bd beat her ass when she was pregnant cos she was asking him for a new phone. The only positive thing about the situation is that her bd is there for their son even tho he ain't sh!t.
Not attacking you at all, OP, yet this does not make sense to me. Why would I want "no sh!t people" around my child? I can't wrap my head around this statement.
 

reesespeeses

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A lot of grandparents love their grandchildren and be happy af when the parents drop them off. They are usually done running the streets and just want to love on their grand baby and then give them back. It's a blessing.
This is true but I'm certain this is not the scenario that the OP is referring to. Some parents make it hard for the grandparents to even "give them back." Sometimes for safety reasons, other times the parents are so trifling that they can't be contacted. I teach in the hood and I've seen way too many grandparents, great-grands, and even a great-great-grandmother raising 4- and 5- year olds. I've seen this in my own family and network as well.
 

colgatesmile

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I see it with my mom, my sister, and my nieces. My mom is in her 70s and my sister recently had a second baby, so two kids under the age of 3. The father doesn't have his parents around so its really all on my mom, bc my Dad still works.

My mom will complain to me, but I set up my boundaries. It's also a reason I refuse to live too close to my sister bc I don't want to become another caretaker for my nieces. I love them dearly, but the way my sister runs my mom into the ground not respecting her time, it couldn't be me. I will visit my nieces and look forward to taking them out and having them visit me on weekends when they are older, but right now, I can't do it.

It also adds to my list of reasons not to have children. I wouldn't want to put so much responsibility on another person, and my mom is already up there in age and doesn't have the energy to run around after kids like that.
 

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Not attacking you at all, OP, yet this does not make sense to me. Why would I want "no sh!t people" around my child? I can't wrap my head around this statement.

Yeah it sounds bad.. What I meant to say is he's a good father but wasn't sh!t to her, their relationship was toxic on both ends. Just before the pregnancy he found out she'd been cheating on him so that made things worse. The last I heard she was keeping the son away from him cos he was seeing someone else, so I don't feel sorry for either of them
 

Greenche

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Your cousin should look in to birth control methods. 6 kids is too much for early 30s. Does she have no shame?
No she doesn’t have shame at all. None. If she had shame she would’ve taken care of her first kid. 6 kids are too much in general.. especially considering that she takes care of none.

She doesn’t care about herself. If she did then she wouldn’t have dropped out of school college, she had the potential for med school.. she had the grades..

If she cared then she would’ve stopped after kid 1, had an abortion, or did adoption.
 

Sophia Home Now

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Yeah it sounds bad.. What I meant to say is he's a good father but wasn't sh!t to her, their relationship was toxic on both ends. Just before the pregnancy he found out she'd been cheating on him so that made things worse. The last I heard she was keeping the son away from him cos he was seeing someone else, so I don't feel sorry for either of them
Thank you for clarifying. From your brief description, it seems like toxicity all the way around. Why some folks bring children into this world is beyond me and I don't have the capacity to understand it, thankfully.
 

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Girl let's talk about how the oldest kids, usually the daughters, are parenting their younger siblings well before their teen years. It goes back and forth.

Ideally everyone would parent their own child but a lot of these grandparents you speak of failed to do their part as well.
 

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I feel the same about stay at home wealthy moms who have all these nannies. why have kids then if your going to outsource their care? This culture of selfish parenting is the in thing now and your almost shamed if your told to put your kids first.
Wealthy and aristocratic parents have always had nannies and maids. That's nothing new.
 

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A village isn’t there when you’re opening your legs to a bum who can’t afford childcare for his kids. People gotta take care of their children this ain’t 1245 where people used to have farms and lots of kids could just work on the farm. Also by leaving your children with family or friend, you’re literally giving your children to child predators which a lot of people have at least one in their families whether cousin, uncle, family friend etc
I had my cousin have her 3rd baby with her husband who mistreats and abuses her when I encourage her to go to school and get her career. Then she thought I should come and watch her kid for her, I never gave her my address cause no way in hell do I want people without an invite showing up with 3 kids
i absolute agree with you in this scenario and most scenarios. i think people are misunderstanding what i am saying.

my sister and BIL had a baby and once a month or so i offer to babysit so they can have a night off. THIS is what i mean. i mean people helping periodically so that the parents can get a small break every now and then. im not raising that kid. im just taking care of her for an afternoon.
 

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Yes it seems ridiculous. I can see if the parent is working to provide for their children and paying the grandparent(s) but most of the time they aren’t and leaving their older parents with a financial and emotional burden in their golden years. Then these same deadbeats talk sh!t about older responsible women having children. I remember when Halle, Kenya, and Janet pregnancies were announced my deadbeat cousins said they were to old to have a baby like they didn’t leave their kids with our late grandma in her 60s/70s all the time and didn’t pay her.
 

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I have two grands. I love those boys to death. I keep them about once a month. I used to have my oldest grand with me all the time. I tell people he’s my last child.Luckily there parents and other grandparents are involved also.
However, if I had to raise them I’d be pissed. I’m enjoying my free time.
 

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This usually happens when there are generations of no father figures taking care of their kids. The main parents changes from being mom and dad to grandma and mom. Not saying this isn't an awful situation, but there is a bigger chance that the grandma was pawning their child to their mom too.
 

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