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Preacher’s kid struggling with not believing in God

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Hi guys, first i must say that this is very hard for me to write. I was born and raised with preacher parents and all my life i believed. But when i was 19, certain things about how God operates didn’t sit well with me. I tried to push it away and still believe. But now at 25 I know that I don’t believe because it doesn’t make sense. I’ve decided to really put some logic, study some science and look at the Bible with common sense and it baffles me. It’s like my eyes have truly opened. But honestly not believing is more scary than believing. Now i have anxiety at night about what really happens when I die. Not existing scares me.

Also it makes me sad. My entire family is religious and if i was to ever come out saying i don’t believe i would be the black sheep of the family. My parents would be so hurt and disappointed. My dad already says some things like i need to be “back in church” and not physically since i was still there every Sunday (before corona) but mentally. So far I’ve been faking it, pretending to believe in Jesus for the sake of my family. Like, If something was to happen to me my parents would think I was going to hell if i didn’t believe and it would cause them so much heartache so i rather just play along. But it’s been so hard.

I find myself feeling comfort from old gospel songs i grew up listening to. I don’t know why. I know i can’t believe in the God/ Jesus i was taught now. I’m too far gone and none of it will make true sense to me. I was invited to an online bible study last week and i did it for the person who invited me but i hated it. Everyone sounded like sheep and brainwashed. It was weird to me. How I’m feeling about religion is putting a strain on my relationships. It’s hard to talk to my mom or dad without them somehow bringing up God. No matter what. For example, i had got a good job right after college. They told me it was God and his favor. I believe it was me working hard, staying up late, putting my social life on hold, picking a good major that was seeing growth in the work field and then doing good on my interview. My hard work was accredited to God and honestly if this was 5 years ago i would have agreed.

Sorry for the rant. I know I’m all over the place but I’ve never really said all this out loud for others. I guess what I’m getting at is, not believing has been a struggle for me all around but i can’t bring myself to go back to it. I feel like having something to believe in, is comforting and i want something to believe in. It’s been apart of my life for so long that it seems like I’m not sure of who i am or that a part of me has died and now I’m trying to learn myself all over again.
 

Thaguru

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It’s OK to have your own beliefs. My entire family is Muslim and I’m not overly religious but my dad says he won’t come to the wedding if the guy isn’t Muslim and my boyfriend grew up Christian but he doesn’t practiced. He wants to get married. What do I do?
 

Ayatiin

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Are you spiritual at all? Maybe believe in a higher power but not necessarily the Christian version of a God? It's okay to have doubts in your belief or not believe at all.
 

MellaRueraux

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Being a preacher's kid ... damn, I feel yall because everyone is expecting you to be perfect and it's tiring. Take all the time you need to think.
 
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It’s OK to have your own beliefs. My entire family is Muslim and I’m not overly religious but my dad says he won’t come to the wedding if the guy isn’t Muslim and my boyfriend grew up Christian but he doesn’t practiced. He wants to get married. What do I do?
That’s hard but i definitely understand. My husband isn’t an active Christian either and my parents knew that. They had 3 years to cope with it because they knew how much i loved him and he loved me. Right before my husband proposed my mom came to me and said “you know, I’m ok with you marrying him. I know he is a good person and he loves you sooo much and that’s what i want for you. You could marry a man who was really into church supposedly but he treat you wrong because he’s human, or you can have someone who isn’t necessarily a Christian but treats you well. So I’m at peace with it. Hopefully you both find your way back to Jesus. But until then I’ll love you and him the same with no restraints” and that was the best thing my mom has said to me. Hopefully you can have a conversation with your family about how you will make your own decisions and that as long as he’s treating you right and loving you they shouldn’t have a problem. I think you should marry him if you really want to. It’s your life. Not your dad’s.
 
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Are you spiritual at all? Maybe believe in a higher power but not necessarily the Christian version of a God? It's okay to have doubts in your belief or not believe at all.
Truthfully, I don’t know what i am. I don’t even think I’m spiritual anymore. I’m not sure if there is a God or not. The only thing I feel strong about is the Christian God not being for me.
 
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Being a preacher's kid ... damn, I feel yall because everyone is expecting you to be perfect and it's tiring. Take all the time you need to think.
It is! I’ve cried many nights about it. Also, I’m supposed to be the “golden child” out of all my siblings I’m the one everyone expects to do great and really be into church etc. I even lead Sunday worship smh. I can sing all the songs, get everyone “feeling the spirit” and shouting but i don’t believe it myself. That’s a problem
 

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Chile, I'm 30 ish and I JUST told my mama I don't believe. Your beliefs are yours, if you can't fake it you can't. I cant believe God is in the "blessing business" and let my ancestors stay on bondages for hundreds of years, while also believing God saved a parking spot for me at the grocery store. How self centered and arrogant does one have to be to think God blessing me with material, menial things, but says fµck those really in need.

Based on how alot of these people act they don't believe either.
 

Lady Spencer

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Omg are you me!? My parents are the same way. You have to figure it out for yourself.

My brothers and I were born and raised IN THE CHURCH.

My baby brother doesnt believe in God *shrugs* but he stopped talking to my parents years ago

I dont go to church, however I do believe in God.

My other 2 brothers are Christian's and they go to church religiously ( I think anyway).
 
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Chile, I'm 30 ish and I JUST told my mama I don't believe. Your beliefs are yours, if you can't fake it you can't. I cant believe God is in the "blessing business" and let my ancestors stay on bondages for hundreds of years, while also believing God saved a parking spot for me at the grocery store. How self centered and arrogant does one have to be to think God blessing me with material, menial things, but says fµck those really in need.

Based on how alot of these people act they don't believe either.
Yes!! And don’t get me started on the reasons Christians justify slavery. They told me that the reason God allowed slavery was because it was to bring us closer to him and give us the chance to have Christianity because in Africa we had our own religion. And that it was all God’s Devine plan because now we are better off knowing Christ. But that makes no sense. We could have learned that a different way without slavery. And like you said, God saved a parking spot for me but didn’t stop starvation somewhere else. I think I’m special...but not that special lol. How did your mom respond?
 

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Truthfully, I don’t know what i am. I don’t even think I’m spiritual anymore. I’m not sure if there is a God or not. The only thing I feel strong about is the Christian God not being for me.

Wow. I don't really know what to say. I come from a strictly religious Muslim family and I've had doubts about my faith. I could never imagine telling my family that I don't believe anymore because of the consequences all face (no, not death). The only thing that has kept me Muslim is the fear and anxiety of what will happen after I die and my belief of a higher being existing.

I guess if you don't want to hurt your your parents feelings, maybe just keep up the facade of being religious to keep them happy. Just keep thinking. Maybe going over your religious scripture again to see if it ignites anything. If not, maybe read other religious scriptures. Your beliefs are yours. Think, ponder and I hope you find comfort.
 
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Wow. I don't really know what to say. I come from a strictly religious Muslim family and I've had doubts about my faith. I could never imagine telling my family that I don't believe anymore because of the consequences all face (no, not death). The only thing that has kept me Muslim is the fear and anxiety of what will happen after I die and my belief of a higher being existing.

I guess if you don't want to hurt your your parents feelings, maybe just keep up the facade of being religious to keep them happy. Just keep thinking. Maybe going over your religious scripture again to see if it ignites anything. If not, maybe read other religious scriptures. Your beliefs are yours. Think, ponder and I hope you find comfort.

i completely understand. I fear consequences too from my family like being the black sheep etc. I also was fearful of not believing because if the Bible is right then hell is real and for not believing I’ll be sent there. That messed with me so much. And i wanted to believe because of that. But i just can’t. My brain won’t let me believe it even if i want to if that makes sense. I’ve read the Bible, been to different churches, got prayed for and everything hoping i would believe again...but nothing.
 

The Super

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Yes!! And don’t get me started on the reasons Christians justify slavery. They told me that the reason God allowed slavery was because it was to bring us closer to him and give us the chance to have Christianity because in Africa we had our own religion. And that it was all God’s Devine plan because now we are better off knowing Christ. But that makes no sense. We could have learned that a different way without slavery. And like you said, God saved a parking spot for me but didn’t stop starvation somewhere else. I think I’m special...but not that special lol. How did your mom respond?

She was sad but she got over it. Ultimately she wants me to be happy. She knows we have led 2 dramatically different lives and carry different beliefs.
 

The Super

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i completely understand. I fear consequences too from my family like being the black sheep etc. I also was fearful of not believing because if the Bible is right then hell is real and for not believing I’ll be sent there. That messed with me so much. And i wanted to believe because of that. But i just can’t. My brain won’t let me believe it even if i want to if that makes sense. I’ve read the Bible, been to different churches, got prayed for and everything hoping i would believe again...but nothing.

Thats another thing, so you mean to tell me everyone who never claimed christ as their lord and savior is going to hell. Died at birth? Going to hell. Live on an uncolonized island, going to hell. Live a good life and treat people right as an atheist, going hell. Gay, going to hell. Eat shell fish, going to hell. Murder 1000's of people, but say Jesus is my Lord and savior - Welcome to Heaven my child!
 

Luna_Tic

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There's a black atheist group on facebook. Its a good place. Has many active members. Maybe you can join and ask them for advice or just talk.

I'm born in a highly irreligious country, never was religious. I feel for you and others in the same situation. Has to be a scary experience.
 

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Hi guys, first i must say that this is very hard for me to write. I was born and raised with preacher parents and all my life i believed. But when i was 19, certain things about how God operates didn’t sit well with me. I tried to push it away and still believe. But now at 25 I know that I don’t believe because it doesn’t make sense. I’ve decided to really put some logic, study some science and look at the Bible with common sense and it baffles me. It’s like my eyes have truly opened. But honestly not believing is more scary than believing. Now i have anxiety at night about what really happens when I die. Not existing scares me.

Also it makes me sad. My entire family is religious and if i was to ever come out saying i don’t believe i would be the black sheep of the family. My parents would be so hurt and disappointed. My dad already says some things like i need to be “back in church” and not physically since i was still there every Sunday (before corona) but mentally. So far I’ve been faking it, pretending to believe in Jesus for the sake of my family. Like, If something was to happen to me my parents would think I was going to hell if i didn’t believe and it would cause them so much heartache so i rather just play along. But it’s been so hard.

I find myself feeling comfort from old gospel songs i grew up listening to. I don’t know why. I know i can’t believe in the God/ Jesus i was taught now. I’m too far gone and none of it will make true sense to me. I was invited to an online bible study last week and i did it for the person who invited me but i hated it. Everyone sounded like sheep and brainwashed. It was weird to me. How I’m feeling about religion is putting a strain on my relationships. It’s hard to talk to my mom or dad without them somehow bringing up God. No matter what. For example, i had got a good job right after college. They told me it was God and his favor. I believe it was me working hard, staying up late, putting my social life on hold, picking a good major that was seeing growth in the work field and then doing good on my interview. My hard work was accredited to God and honestly if this was 5 years ago i would have agreed.

Sorry for the rant. I know I’m all over the place but I’ve never really said all this out loud for others. I guess what I’m getting at is, not believing has been a struggle for me all around but i can’t bring myself to go back to it. I feel like having something to believe in, is comforting and i want something to believe in. It’s been apart of my life for so long that it seems like I’m not sure of who i am or that a part of me has died and now I’m trying to learn myself all over again.
Im cant judge
What did make u disbelieve
 

lovelylavish

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Are you spiritual at all? Maybe believe in a higher power but not necessarily the Christian version of a God? It's okay to have doubts in your belief or not believe at all.

agreed this is me. I believe that God is within and I believe in the law of attraction. I also like the idea of reincarnation.
 

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Yes!! And don’t get me started on the reasons Christians justify slavery. They told me that the reason God allowed slavery was because it was to bring us closer to him and give us the chance to have Christianity because in Africa we had our own religion. And that it was all God’s Devine plan because now we are better off knowing Christ. But that makes no sense. We could have learned that a different way without slavery. And like you said, God saved a parking spot for me but didn’t stop starvation somewhere else. I think I’m special...but not that special lol. How did your mom respond?
it’s because our ancestors rebelled against him.

don’t let the white man fool u

i still don’t understand how people can think that christinaity is from white people.

1 they stole everything and anything and are still doing... they lie about everything.look at the music industry, many inventions made by black people but we think it’s white people who did it... they cut of the nose of the sfynxes.... they said country is white people music nope i don’t think so
a black man invented the first car ...



there are so many lies in HiSstory

hello hello my dear people wake up
 

Green Forest

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it’s because our ancestors rebelled against him.

don’t let the white man fool u

i still don’t understand how people can think that christinaity is from white people.

1 they stole everything and anything and are still doing... they lie about everything.look at the music industry, many inventions made by black people but we think it’s white people who did it... they cut of the nose of the sfynxes.... they said country is white people music nope i don’t think so
a black man invented the first car ...



there are so many lies in HiSstory

hello hello my dear people wake up
This is the Atheist forum and two some of the most successful countries are secular/atheist/irreligious and all the highly religious ones are where everyone is teeming to leave.
 

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This is the Atheist forum and two some of the most successful countries are secular/atheist/irreligious and all the highly religious ones are where everyone is teeming to leave.
yeah and i respect your opinion
i respect u being non religious
i respect u don’t believe in god.

the highly religious country’s are lied to by the synagoge of satan. i believe in god but i don’t believe in the institution called church. u can’t put your faith and life and money and blessings in the hand of a man

i can’t even trust my shadow
 

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it’s because our ancestors rebelled against him.

don’t let the white man fool u

i still don’t understand how people can think that christinaity is from white people.

1 they stole everything and anything and are still doing... they lie about everything.look at the music industry, many inventions made by black people but we think it’s white people who did it... they cut of the nose of the sfynxes.... they said country is white people music nope i don’t think so
a black man invented the first car ...



there are so many lies in HiSstory

hello hello my dear people wake up
nevermind byeeeee lol
 
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It's always difficult for religious parents who, necessarily (and as smart as they could be in other areas), have not examined that part of their beliefs as thoroughly as they do with others (or else they just wouldn't be as staunch with their religious beliefs). You finding it hard to believe your parents' creed is the fault of the beliefs, not yours. Nobody has ever had to convince me of gravity, cause and effect, fire being hot, etc. etc. The problem I guess is that openly admitting that it doesn't make much sense directly challenges your parents beliefs, which makes them feel insecure about their own beliefs, beliefs that don't just determine what reality is in our "earthly life" but also the "afterlife" as well. Evidently, it's pretty damn important for a person that has been their whole life believing in it and acting accordingly that everyone else agrees with their version of reality. Again, if you told me gravity was not a thing, I wouldn't feel like my world turned upside down, I'd just let you be and warn you against jumping off buildings.

And yes, you'll have to rebuild, you'll have to do what your family never did and actually try to understand the world. You're now a philosopher and a scientist, congrats! :LOL: You're further ahead than most of the world, simply because you're not burying your head in the sands of dogma, but it's a perilous journey and a lonelier one at times. But I don't think you can go back, it's too late, you're already thinking. It'll be fine, at least you'll be more consistent in your beliefs and avoid some forms of cognitive dissonance. When you have children of your own, make sure that no matter what you and they believe in, you will never condition your love to religious agreement, that's all we can do to break this cycle.

Good luck, OP, and please don't fall for equally silly worldviews like the one behind astrology, palm reading and all that New Age instagram nonsense! And send me a message if you're truly in the sh!t (emotionally or ideologically), I told my mom Christianity didn't make sense at the age of 12 (and she took a little while to get over it, went to therapy even, I'm truly lucky to have her) so it's been water under the bridge for me for a decade a half. :laugh7
 

JaxRhapsody

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OP's parents are jessoids. They are the worst. Some of these jessoids will protect the family chomo and denigrate you for turning your back on gawduh. If that was one of the "worst" things I could do to get dissowned by family... well, they aren't family anymore, if religion is so paramount it outweighs everything else in your life.
 

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