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Pregnant... fiance is forcing me to keep it.

incogneato

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Im in the process of marrying my fiance and we have set a wedding date for the end of the year. I just found out I am pregnant (still in first trimester), and this was incredibly disappointing to me. We used a condom and halfway through intimacy he went without and used withdrawal method which clearly didn't work. I regret everything.

I am not ready to become a mother and also I wanted to get the wedding out of the way first. I never brought up the idea of termination but he already decided there is nothing we can do about it and we will just carry on with it. He keeps reassuring me that it's going to be ok and he is going to be there for me, but we live in different countries (we were meant to move in together in my country after the wedding). He is religious and does not believe in termination but I cannot stop thinking about it. Every day I wake up I feel a lot of regret and anger and I don't want this to continue. How do I deal with it? I fear losing him if I get rid of the baby.
 

LoLu10Plus

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This is a giant red flag. If this kind of abuse is happening before your wedding, I can’t see it getting any better after your marriage.

Your body is your body. I hope that you’ll be safe and wish you well.
 

CoCoD

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Log off, run to your nearest abortion clinic, and terminate the pregnancy and then terminate the relationship.
If you keep the baby, the baby will marinate in unwantedness and misery. #NoHeatNoJudgment
 

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This is a giant red flag. If this kind of abuse is happening before your wedding, I can’t see it getting any better after your marriage.

Your body is your body. I hope that you’ll be safe and wish you well.
What abuse? She’s a push over and having a baby she doesn’t want to appease a man. This is hardly abuse bc she lacks a backbone over her own fertility and choices.
 

rayaee

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Girl pls!! He so damn "religious" he f'd you raw & got you pregnant [on purpose] without even being married. How he gone know you aborted unless you tell him?!! You're in a whole other country boo!
 

EZIO AUDITORE

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Terminate the pregnancy. He will abuse you. Do not let fear make the decisions for you. You know you don't want the baby and if you keep it, you will grow resentful. And fµck that man. It is not guaranteed he will stay just because you kept the baby, religious or not.
 

incogneato

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What abuse? She’s a push over and having a baby she doesn’t want to appease a man. This is hardly abuse bc she lacks a backbone over her own fertility and choices.
I am standing by my own decision I just need encouragement to take it....
 

Eaglewings1

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Is a baby what you truly want? No
Is it your body? Yes

A child is a life altering decision. If you can't deal with being a single mother (because it looks like where it will go), then abort and move on.

Maybe talk to a counselor afterwards to get your emotional health back up.

Best wishes.
 

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Im in the process of marrying my fiance and we have set a wedding date for the end of the year. I just found out I am pregnant (still in first trimester), and this was incredibly disappointing to me. We used a condom and halfway through intimacy he went without and used withdrawal method which clearly didn't work. I regret everything.

I am not ready to become a mother and also I wanted to get the wedding out of the way first. I never brought up the idea of termination but he already decided there is nothing we can do about it and we will just carry on with it. He keeps reassuring me that it's going to be ok and he is going to be there for me, but we live in different countries (we were meant to move in together in my country after the wedding). He is religious and does not believe in termination but I cannot stop thinking about it. Every day I wake up I feel a lot of regret and anger and I don't want this to continue. How do I deal with it? I fear losing him if I get rid of the baby.

if he took the condom off w/o your consent, that's rape. if he is so religious why is he having xes prior to marriage?
 

EyezWideShut

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Religious but yall fµck!ng before crossing thee threshold together?

Kept it, it might be your only chance.
 

GoatMilk

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Im in the process of marrying my fiance and we have set a wedding date for the end of the year. I just found out I am pregnant (still in first trimester), and this was incredibly disappointing to me. We used a condom and halfway through intimacy he went without and used withdrawal method which clearly didn't work. I regret everything.

I am not ready to become a mother and also I wanted to get the wedding out of the way first. I never brought up the idea of termination but he already decided there is nothing we can do about it and we will just carry on with it. He keeps reassuring me that it's going to be ok and he is going to be there for me, but we live in different countries (we were meant to move in together in my country after the wedding). He is religious and does not believe in termination but I cannot stop thinking about it. Every day I wake up I feel a lot of regret and anger and I don't want this to continue. How do I deal with it? I fear losing him if I get rid of the baby.

I’m sorry for you OP and I hope you make the right decision for YOURSELF.

Did he remove the condom while y’all were in the act, or did y’all both agree to stop using condoms ? This is important for me to know so I can give my imput.
 

FemmeBronzee

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What abuse? She’s a push over and having a baby she doesn’t want to appease a man. This is hardly abuse bc she lacks a backbone over her own fertility and choices.
Abuse in that halfway through xes he made the decision to remove the condom. I’m getting the sense that OP didn’t agree to that; that the fiancé decided he wanted to finish without protection and coerced her/convinced her that he’d pull out.

OP, is that about right, or were you completely fine that he wanted to remove the condom midway through?
 

incogneato

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Abuse in that halfway through xes he made the decision to remove the condom. I’m getting the sense that OP didn’t agree to that; that the fiancé decided he wanted to finish without protection and coerced her/convinced her that he’d pull out.

OP, is that about right, or were you completely fine that he wanted to remove the condom midway through?
You are right because i keep track of my cycle so i knew it was my ovulation period so i had requested him to bring condoms which he did, i did not consent to what he ended up doing after using it only twice.
 

incogneato

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I’m sorry for you OP and I hope you make the right decision for YOURSELF.

Did he remove the condom while y’all were in the act, or did y’all both agree to stop using condoms ? This is important for me to know so I can give my imput.
After using twice he stopped using it during the act, i did not verbally agree to it. i am the one who asked him to bring condoms because i track my cycle and knew it was my ovulation days.
 

incogneato

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Is a baby what you truly want? No
Is it your body? Yes

A child is a life altering decision. If you can't deal with being a single mother (because it looks like where it will go), then abort and move on.

Maybe talk to a counselor afterwards to get your emotional health back up.

Best wishes.
Thanks for your advice
 

Dupedairies

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Op you need to sit down and really examine this relationship. What seemingly little things you have looked over, things that didn't make sense, contradictions in his words and actions. Now do you really want a baby with this man? Does he need a green card? Can't no man in a whole other country tell you what to do with your body.
 

Nixxgamigao

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Why do a lot of women allow men to run them and control what they do with their own body? A lot of these men are only religious to control women. Girl, if you don't get a backbone and go to planned parenthood.
 

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Im in the process of marrying my fiance and we have set a wedding date for the end of the year. I just found out I am pregnant (still in first trimester), and this was incredibly disappointing to me. We used a condom and halfway through intimacy he went without and used withdrawal method which clearly didn't work. I regret everything.

I am not ready to become a mother and also I wanted to get the wedding out of the way first. I never brought up the idea of termination but he already decided there is nothing we can do about it and we will just carry on with it. He keeps reassuring me that it's going to be ok and he is going to be there for me, but we live in different countries (we were meant to move in together in my country after the wedding). He is religious and does not believe in termination but I cannot stop thinking about it. Every day I wake up I feel a lot of regret and anger and I don't want this to continue. How do I deal with it? I fear losing him if I get rid of the baby.
Hello how are you doing today ???? What do you think lsa is gonna tell you ?? U live in different countries ? Which country would HE be in , pray tell ? What kinda job / degree does he have ? For crying out loud GET THE ABORTION. You live in the US. Dont be scared youre not in the 3rd world ( im assuimng that exactky where hes from )
 

ilikebeer12345

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if you yourself are religious ( cuz thats what matters here .... What he is is neither here nor there ) you do know you can leave your baby at a police station or fire station right? Or hospital.
 

ImTheOne

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At the end of the day when it comes to raising children the woman is the one who will be left with the bag of child rearing so you must do what is best for YOU no matter what. I would pretend like I changed my mind and excited about the baby and get an abortion in a couple of weeks and claim I had a miscarriage. ETA: okay I read the updated post OP you need to trash your fiancée what he did was disrespectful at best as your fiancé he is supposed to protect you instead he’s already trampling over your boundaries. He did that on purpose with full intent to get you pregnant and anchor you to him. If he has already put you in a predicament like this at what is supposed to be the happiest time of your life I can only imagine what married life would be like with him
 
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How is your fiancé forcing you to keep it? Unless he tied you to a bed, you always have the option to get rid of it. If you’re not ready for children you definitely shouldn’t have any. You’ll only end up miserable or worse.

Your fiancé doesn’t believe in abortion but he believes in sleeping with someone he’s not married to? It sounds like an excuse and he might end up leaving you. He might just want you to have a child because he thinks that he’ll be able to go back to you.
 

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people love to pick and choose which parts of religion they want to follow. he's so called "religious" but busted in you raw before you were officially married. h8 to see it
 

ilikebeer12345

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people love to pick and choose which parts of religion they want to follow. he's so called "religious" but busted in you raw before you were officially married. h8 to see it
I literally didnt even pick up on that. Thats how desensitized i am. Dont nobody follow these old books !!! They love to pretend tho
 

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After using twice he stopped using it during the act, i did not verbally agree to it. i am the one who asked him to bring condoms because i track my cycle and knew it was my ovulation days.

Oh wow so he tricked you, this is sick. OP I’m so sorry you are going through this, you are the only one who can decide what to do with your body. The fact that he removed the condom without your consent is the very reason why he doesn’t have a say on whether or not you should get an abortion.

OP think about it, which situation would be worse for the future ?
Losing a man who clearly doesn’t respect your boundaries and your body so you can eventually find a way better person with whom you can build a relationship based on TRUST and RESPECT ? Or chosing keep a child who you’ll eventually end up resenting because you were not ready to be a mother ?

OP please do not marry this man, don’t do this to yourself. If he was capable of doing such a despicable act, believe me it’ll get worse once y’all are married.

Good luck OP
 

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Parenting is hard work, as the mother you will take most of the slack when the baby is new.

Think long and hard about it. It is your decision. I would recommend you marry and get comfortable being husband and wife before expanding the family. It's a new life step.

A colleague once said to me never to have more than one life changing event in a year (moving into a new house, starting a job, getting married, getting pregnant). It will be overwhelming. He was right.
 

AutoPilot

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Smh. I wish a ninja would tell me or insinuate that I have no choice when it comes to pregnancy/reproduction. It's your body OP.... you sure as hell do have a choice in when and if you want to bring a child into this world. You're the one that going to be carrying and nourish that baby for 9months and by default will be the main caregiver your entire and the child's entire life.

He is showing you who he is early. He is controlling the narrative and making the decisions without your input. This is just a glimpse of what your marriage will be like.

BTW an Ex once told me that men know exactly when they're coming and that if and when they get a woman preggo's its on purpose.

After using twice he stopped using it during the act, i did not verbally agree to it. i am the one who asked him to bring condoms because i track my cycle and knew it was my ovulation days.
So I'm assuming that you guys weren't using condoms in your relationship. If you're not trying to get preggo's anytime soon I'd suggest tightening up on your birth control methods. Tracking your ovulation isn't enough. You need to be strict on your birth control methods if you're seriously trying to wait for the right time to have kids. I have no desire to have any kids anything soon so there's no way I'd let a ninja hit raw and def wouldn't let him get comfortable with hitting it raw. Don't let these ninja have control over your reproductive system.
 
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bullish af

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Please do not have a child that you don’t want. Think twice about marrying someone you can’t be honest with.
 

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Stop being stupid. He’s not forcing you to do anything. Do not be a pushover.

This decision is not hard. You are not married and clearly neither of you are that religious so he can stop using that excuse. If you want to keep it then get married asap like before it is too late for you to do anything about your situation, but honestly you need to reconsider if you should be marrying him.

Whatever you choose to do, use birth control that only you manage, it doesn’t have to be hormonal. The responsibility for birth control is on you because your body is affected, but you already know that.

This situation is EXACTLY how many women end up single moms. Think quickly and act.
 

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LaJ9Kmo.gif



This sounds like a classic tale of a man trying to trap a woman with a baby. We constantly hear about women trapping men but barely hear the opposite happening which by the way happens a lot. He removed that condom knowing exactly that he was going to ejaculate inside you and pretended like he withdrew before he came.


The fact that he keeps reassuring you that everything will be ok and he will be there for you tells me that deep down he knows you don't want that baby. His constant reassurance is his way of trying to get you on board and give you a false sense of security that will convince you to keep the baby.

Don't have a baby you don't want just to appease someone otherwise you will regret is cos there's no do overs when it comes to bringing kids into this world. A man who will remove a condom without your consent is major red flag.
 

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Im in the process of marrying my fiance and we have set a wedding date for the end of the year. I just found out I am pregnant (still in first trimester), and this was incredibly disappointing to me. We used a condom and halfway through intimacy he went without and used withdrawal method which clearly didn't work. I regret everything.

I am not ready to become a mother and also I wanted to get the wedding out of the way first. I never brought up the idea of termination but he already decided there is nothing we can do about it and we will just carry on with it. He keeps reassuring me that it's going to be ok and he is going to be there for me, but we live in different countries (we were meant to move in together in my country after the wedding). He is religious and does not believe in termination but I cannot stop thinking about it. Every day I wake up I feel a lot of regret and anger and I don't want this to continue. How do I deal with it? I fear losing him if I get rid of the baby.

What do you mean HE already decided. Itś YOUR body. :/

1) Why weren't you on birth control if you knew you did not want to get pregnant? Irresponsible.

2) Why did you even TELL him you were pregnant if you knew you did not want it?

3) How is he living in a whole other country ... but has control over YOUR body?

It sounds like you are one of those women that have given your 'will' over to this man .... completely. You are in a parent/child relationship where your man tells you what to do. :(

You are unable to think for yourself because common sense says you should not have told him and even now - you can just get an abortion and tell him you had a miscarriage. Duh!

Don't be surprised if that wedding never happens and maybe it shouldn't if you are this immature. :/

Make your own decision about your own body, If he doesn't marry you .. OH WELL!

'Itś better to have loved and lost than to have to live with a control freak rest of your life!'
 

Bella8933

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After using twice he stopped using it during the act, i did not verbally agree to it. i am the one who asked him to bring condoms because i track my cycle and knew it was my ovulation days.

What does HE have to do with YOUR birth control?

How come you were not the one to 'verbally agree' to put your OWN a** on Birth Control like a responsible adult?

Itś hard to have sympathy for you birds that can't even use your common sense.
 

Bella8933

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if you yourself are religious ( cuz thats what matters here .... What he is is neither here nor there ) you do know you can leave your baby at a police station or fire station right? Or hospital.

Right .. because 'Religious' people think it's okay to have xes before marriage. LOL!

So WTF 'religion' is that?

These birds are so phony with that religious garbage. :/
 

GigiLaMoore

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How can he force you to keep it? Life is about choices. Unless he is holding you down, there is nothing stopping you from getting an abortion. Personally, I wouldn't allow a man or anybody else to make a decision for me about such a personal thing. When you guys break up (and you will), who will have that baby? You or him?
 

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