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UPDATE Rapper AKA's fiance Nelli commits suicide

Nadia Makita

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Sorry to ask but isn’t she supposed to live her life though? Saying she shouldn’t be twerking sounds like a stigma towards mental illness . I know you’ve gone though it but I believe one should continue living their best life. I stand corrected.
Just 4 months after something so drastic? No. When I got sick my parents forced me to come home (contrary to popular belief families do have influence over their 21 yr olds) and it saved my life. It takes about 3 months on average to see if your meds are working properly a lot of the time and your medication is not the only work you have to do to manage your illness. As Nina posted in the Twitter thread I linked she had to become sober. That’s key for a lot of people with mental illness as well. And sobriety isn’t found in the clubs. Its a lifestyle overhaul. Same with people for example who have anorexia/obesity. They get mental help but they also need a complete overhaul of their attitude toward food. 4 months is not enough. Self care is not always fun. It’s not just spa facials. It’s discipline and difficult. People somehow realise that Demi lovato shouldn’t be talking to the press all the time and should rather be off social media and out of Hollywood and her OD was when? More than 4 months ago.
 

MissKC

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Just 4 months after something so drastic? No. When I got sick my parents forced me to come home (contrary to popular belief families do have influence over their 21 yr olds) and it saved my life. It takes about 3 months on average to see if your meds are working properly a lot of the time and your medication is not the only work you have to do to manage your illness. As Nina posted in the Twitter thread I linked she had to become sober. That’s key for a lot of people with mental illness as well. And sobriety isn’t found in the clubs. Its a lifestyle overhaul. Same with people for example who have anorexia/obesity. They get mental help but they also need a complete overhaul of their attitude toward food. 4 months is not enough. Self care is not always fun. It’s not just spa facials. It’s discipline and difficult. People somehow realise that Demi lovato shouldn’t be talking to the press all the time and should rather be off social media and out of Hollywood and her OD was when? More than 4 months ago.
Thanks for explaining, I totally agree. Yes, parents have influence but not always, some children are stubborn. Yes to the highlighted sentence. I hope your health is top notch and you don't have to go back there. Virtual Hugs
 

KimmyKane

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I haven’t stopped thinking about this. It’s shocked me to the core. The fact that she was still alive when she hit the ground. I wander if she prayed to die or to continue to stay alive. How helpless AKA must’ve felt. Its so so sad
 

Brwnskn

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Please let’s be careful of how we speak about mental illness. It is chemical not physical and there’s still so much about how the mind works that we do not know. Treating something that cannot be seen is incredibly hard. Saying that it takes discipline to overcome it is ignorant and insensitive. RIP to Nellie. I pray she’s found the peace she could not have in this world.
Please remember that there are different types of mental illnesses...from mild depression to severe psychosis. Consequently, there is no 'one size fits all' kind of treatment as it ranges from antidepressants, meditation to psychotheraphy.
Therefore, if someone states that it "took discipline" for them to overcome their situation...it's not for you or anyone else to say otherwise. You telling them that it's 'ignorant and insensitive' when they've stated that it worked for them is prepostorus and highly ignorant and insensitive.
 

gama

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And where were her family/parents in all this? Most parents know their 22 year olds aren’t fit for marriage to a rapper and being a step mom. Why did they approve of her getting married?

At some point your parents can not save you from yourself.

If this girl was hooked on this dude she would have found a way to be with him with or without her parent's approval.
 

LadyAthena

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I haven’t stopped thinking about this. It’s shocked me to the core. The fact that she was still alive when she hit the ground. I wander if she prayed to die or to continue to stay alive. How helpless AKA must’ve felt. Its so so sad
This is why I think drugs (or maybe her medication) were in her system because that fall would’ve killed a person on contact.
 

Mental Floss

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lord, this thread has been triggering for me and i am only reading about the events that happened. so i can't even begin to imagine how the people who love her must feel living this nightmare?!

i wish i had missed the details about how she was still alive after the fall. but, more than anything, i wish this young lady had been able to see that "the sun was there all along. [she] just couldn't see it." and that she, in fact, brought light to the lives of so many others.

just thinking back to the darkest moments of my illness exhausts me (and makes me feel overly exposed on here). but i hope what i shared helps someone else. that's all one can do.

if we don't have the hard, serious convos about mental health, and encourage empathy and understanding over judging, stigmatizing and dismissing, nothing will change for the better.

but god, this is so damned sad. only 22. please give her some peace, lord. and please comfort her friends and loved ones during this time of unspeakable grief.
 

Naipa

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But I wonder what she was actually depressed about it, she had it much better than alot of other south Africans
 

KimmyKane

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But I wonder what she was actually depressed about it, she had it much better than alot of other south Africans
Please refrain from saying comments like these in real life. Most people that suffer from depression cannot see the light, and comments like these do not help. It actually hinders people from speaking up because they are scared of people saying “but you have a house, you have a job why should you be depressed etc” depression is deeper than that. Example, I had a very good job that pays me so well. But up until I slowly started recovering from depression, I never ever used to spend money on myself. I never thought about spending money on myself at all. Only when I received counselling for my issues and started seeing the light I was buying stuff for myself! Ali express knows me now because I’m there always buying stuff for myself and it feels great! You can have everything you could ever need, but when that illness grabs you, you will suffer so badly. Sending love to everyone ❤️
 

Naipa

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Please refrain from saying comments like these in real life. Most people that suffer from depression cannot see the light, and comments like these do not help. It actually hinders people from speaking up because they are scared of people saying “but you have a house, you have a job why should you be depressed etc” depression is deeper than that. Example, I had a very good job that pays me so well. But up until I slowly started recovering from depression, I never ever used to spend money on myself. I never thought about spending money on myself at all. Only when I received counselling for my issues and started seeing the light I was buying stuff for myself! Ali express knows me now because I’m there always buying stuff for myself and it feels great! You can have everything you could ever need, but when that illness grabs you, you will suffer so badly. Sending love to everyone ❤️
I didnt mean to come across insensitive but it was a genuine question
 

KimmyKane

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7F44B4CF-F6C1-40EE-8B00-48D3452C5A4C.jpeg
 

Lunafleur

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Interesting speech by her dad. He says she wasn't depressed and said it was drugs and alcohol which contributed to her death. Not agreeing or disagreeing, just relaying info.
 

LadyAthena

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Interesting speech by her dad. He says she wasn't depressed and said it was drugs and alcohol which contributed to her death. Not agreeing or disagreeing, just relaying info.
We can’t argue with a parent I guess. Plus we all know AKA is a druggie
 

Nadia Makita

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Her father says she was not suicidal nor mentally ill. How does he explain the incident in December in the rooftop?
As Anele's father, I categorically state that Anele was neither suicidal nor did she commit suicide. We must as a matter of priority deal with the scourge that bedevils our youth. Alcohol which is overused and drugs. Fellow South Africans we better wake up and smell the coffee, we have a serious problem with substance abuse.
 

Protea

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Interesting speech by her dad. He says she wasn't depressed and said it was drugs and alcohol which contributed to her death. Not agreeing or disagreeing, just relaying info.
Yeah that tribute was very interesting. I mean none of us have the facts right now and it's still an open case but personally I'm still leaning towards her possibly being depressed because she's tried jumping before. We can't unsee the clip of her on the Hilton Hotel rooftop.
 

Protea

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Her father says she was not suicidal nor mentally ill. How does he explain the incident in December in the rooftop?
This further shows how much of a stigma mental illness is to the older generations. It could explain why she was never admitted into a facility for professional observation the first time she attempted in Durban. There tends to be denial and overreliance on faith among black people when dealing with mental health. I feel like once he works through his grief her will start accepting that his child could have possibly had mental health problems.
 

Nadia Makita

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This further shows how much of a stigma mental illness is to the older generations. It could explain why she was never admitted into a facility for professional observation the first time she attempted in Durban. There tends to be denial and overreliance on faith among black people when dealing with mental health. I feel like once he works through his grief her will start accepting that his child could have possibly had mental health problems.
And if he knew she was a druggie why not force her to rehab?
 

Protea

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And if he knew she was a druggie why not force her to rehab?
That's what I was also asking myself but it's possible he could have learned about his "child's lifestyle" only recently. I'm just waiting for the police to conclude the case so we have a better picture of what might have happened that fateful morning.
 

Nadia Makita

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That's what I was also asking myself but it's possible he could have learned about his "child's lifestyle" only recently. I'm just waiting for the police to conclude the case so we have a better picture of what might have happened that fateful morning.
It could also be pure negligence. The lack of concern with some parents when they give their children everything money can buy...
I noticed this when I read an article about the online “memorial” they had the day after she passed and the article said her father said he’d provided her with everything she needed and an a over average lifestyle from a young age. I was thinking your daughter just died why is this the first thing you mention?
 

Lyndy Prosper

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He also said this “I knew Kiernan loved my daughter but their companionship needed more than love. It had to be premised and embedded on a Godly foundation.”

Also, you can abuse drugs and be depressed/have a mental illness at the same time. There was a font who said, she must have had drugs or medicine in her system for her to hit the ground like that and not die on impact and naked nogal. I'm also hoping the police conclude soon. I'm not surprised that she might have been doing drugs, as that is what is what Kiernan is known to do. Feel really bad for him though.
 

Brwnskn

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Not sure if the Police can be influneced in South Africa but given that it's been alleged that her initial suicide attempt was not widely reported due to her father's influence....I hope that won't be the case about the cause of her death too.
 

Olivia Dope

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Drugs and Alchohol make people want to jump off of buildings??

I can see now why she wasn't admitted for treatment after her first attempt.

You can't pray mental illness away.

Poor girl.
 

Rich Aunty

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Her parents really worked to supress her mental illness which was ultimately her demise. l avoided this thread so hard because mental health is such a triggering topic. l cannot imagine the trauma Kiernan is going through after seeing someone you love jump to their death, that is life altering.
 

Nadia Makita

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Not sure if the Police can be influneced in South Africa but given that it's been alleged that her initial suicide attempt was not widely reported due to her father's influence....I hope that won't be the case about the cause of her death too.
He so against the idea of her being mentally ill that I think he will definitely try to control the narrative when the cause of death has been determined. He seems very image conscious tbh. It’s giving “abantu bazothini?”
 

Lunafleur

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The more I think of it though... She was probably depressed (we don't actually know, because we didn't diagnose her) but it sounds like AKA's fast lifestyle didn't help. Piecing together from what her father said, it could be that she was always susceptible to depression and then getting together with AKA and being embedded in that lifestyle exacerbated it somehow. Someone mentioned that her mother passed on when she was younger, I can't imagine how that would have impacted her. We're all just speculating at this point though.
 

Brwnskn

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He so against the idea of her being mentally ill that I think he will definitely try to control the narrative when the cause of death has been determined. He seems very image conscious tbh. It’s giving “abantu bazothini?”
Just finished watching her funeral, I couldn't stop the tears even though I don't know her personally.
The Commisioner of Police also spoke apparently he's a family friend, so I'm pretty convinced with what you've said.
Seems like the Dad is very religious/involved with the church as the Pastors spoke of trips with the family and Nelli from when she was a child....therefore the connotation of committing suicide would be difficult for him to accept.
It was also so weird to see Aka's ex DJ Zinle's photo pop up in the slide show.
 

DuchessofBananas

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I watched the farewell, and it gutted me. I won’t speak on what Mr. Tembe said because it’s not my place to say what a father knows about their child or doesn’t. It’s highly possible the toxicology report/autopsy or even conversations with Kiernan might have revealed something. That’s not my business.

One thing I will say about substance abuse is you can’t help or save someone who doesn’t want to be helped or saved. Her vices are not for me to speculate on. I pray her family finds peace.

Af the end of the day, it’s a tragic loss of a young life. A father had to bury his child, and he has to deal with that heartbreak for the rest of his life. He has to live with the fact that she won’t be there for holidays, won’t get to become a mother, and all the little things like hearing her voice or laugh again were suddenly taken from him. He’s entitled to not be thinking clearly or doing what he needs to do to cope from one second to the next.

I do hope the Forbes family will surround Kiernan and that he will seek therapy and take all the time he needs. I guarantee it will hit hard when he walks into his home now that she has been laid to rest. No matter how people feel about him, there’s something truly heartbreaking about going from expecting your future wife to walk down the aisle in a white dress to walking behind her white casket.
 

TIFFANYxx

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I've heard from close friends and family that attended the funeral that AKA is indeed behind Nellies death. I have more info but cannot reveal too much info atm.
 

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I've heard from close friends and family that attended the funeral that AKA is indeed behind Nellies death. I have more info but cannot reveal too much info atm.
Behind her death as in he physically pushed her off the building or as in he might have done something to cause her to want to jump?
 

TIFFANYxx

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Behind her death as in he physically pushed her off the building or as in he might have done something to cause her to want to jump?
Directly involved. I'm hearing conflicting stories on what exactly happened but some are saying it was premeditated and some are saying he pushed her and then she tripped and fell. I don't want to label him a murderer but this is apparently why the father kept emphasising it wasn't suicide. He also stated at the funeral that justice will be served. i have more details that i cant share right though.
 

Rich Aunty

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Directly involved. I'm hearing conflicting stories on what exactly happened but some are saying it was premeditated and some are saying he pushed her and then she tripped and fell. I don't want to label him a murderer but this is apparently why the father kept emphasising it wasn't suicide. He also stated at the funeral that justice will be served. i have more details that i cant share right though.



But didn't he attend the funeral, l feel like if that were the case he would have been arrested. I think because Nellie's family never acknowledged her mental illness they will do or say anything to act as if Nellie was pushed physically then tripped. I'm not saying you're lying but something ain't clean in the water.
 

Protea

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Directly involved. I'm hearing conflicting stories on what exactly happened but some are saying it was premeditated and some are saying he pushed her and then she tripped and fell. I don't want to label him a murderer but this is apparently why the father kept emphasising it wasn't suicide. He also stated at the funeral that justice will be served. i have more details that i cant share right though.
Hopefully the police will clarify this info. My thing is if this is what the family is saying it doesn't make sense why they would let him attend the funeral and release a joint statement with the Forbes family on her passing. Maybe a witness can come forward but it could have very well been that they were the only 2 people there.
 

TIFFANYxx

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But didn't he attend the funeral, l feel like if that were the case he would have been arrested. I think because Nellie's family never acknowledged her mental illness they will do or say anything to act as if Nellie was pushed physically then tripped. I'm not saying you're lying but something ain't clean in the water.

These are all relatively new developments. like i said the stories are all conflicting, so it is all confusing for me too. It is also being said that she sent a video in her last moments. I am by no means saying it was him but there is def more to this story and their relationship.
 

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