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Saturday Night Woes: i texted my wealthy ex

incogneato

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Past few weeks I’ve been thinking about and missing my ex. Today I was lounging outside and the feelings were even stronger. Idk why but I miss his busy ass. He was a Black king, sweet, kind, high achiever, PAID, huge D (didnt try it ...yet), lots of investments and gave the best forehead kisses. He was so nice But he was so damn busy.

I did lie in the beginning and say I didnt care that he worked long hours but it did bug me. He called me out on it and I lied again and said It was okay. This man was ready to make me a comfortable wife. But then one day I was so in my feelings I ghosted him and never responded.

but now time has passed and Im like wtf did I do? I gave up a black man who wanted a black woman. No else compares to him and I really do miss him. I was drinking and I texted him. Im so embarrassed about this so lsa drag me. Like I want him back smh
 

incogneato

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I can relate.
My Ex was like you described... rich, future minded, and loyal. The problem is that eventually he became so consumed with his work that I felt ignored. These rich men give their soul to their job, and unfortunately, you do become sidelined of sorts.
 

incogneato

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I can relate.
My Ex was like you described... rich, future minded, and loyal. The problem is that eventually he became so consumed with his work that I felt ignored. These rich men give their soul to their job, and unfortunately, you do become sidelined of sorts.
Op here yes I felt sidelined. But I feel like maybe I was doing too much. I dont really want a man in my face everyday but I think knowing hes a catch and all these women (of all races) want him kind of got to me. So if I didnt hear from him i thought maybe we were moving apart.

it seems so crazy in retrospective because he was into me.
 

Grace Taylor

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We’ve all been here. I’m not gonna judge.
I’m a firm believer that if it’s mean to be, it’s meant to be.

I’m not saying give 3, 4, 5 chances, but maybe you needed this time apart to realize what you had and be more appreciative of the relationship.

This is also only my advice If there are no other red flags. Don’t walk back into something that you KNOW is toxic.

Glad he responded and was receptive, but I would encourage you to have a sober conversation about your feelings and what moving forward looks like.
 

Bella8933

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Past few weeks I’ve been thinking about and missing my ex. Today I was lounging outside and the feelings were even stronger. Idk why but I miss his busy ass. He was a Black king, sweet, kind, high achiever, PAID, huge D (didnt try it ...yet), lots of investments and gave the best forehead kisses. He was so nice But he was so damn busy.

I did lie in the beginning and say I didnt care that he worked long hours but it did bug me. He called me out on it and I lied again and said It was okay. This man was ready to make me a comfortable wife. But then one day I was so in my feelings I ghosted him and never responded.

but now time has passed and Im like wtf did I do? I gave up a black man who wanted a black woman. No else compares to him and I really do miss him. I was drinking and I texted him. Im so embarrassed about this so lsa drag me. Like I want him back smh

What for?

You can't even tell him the truth about the basics so how are you going to have a real relationship with him?

He asked you if his schedule was a problem but you said no and sat up there resenting him for working so long .. until it all backed up in your brain and you blew a fuse and dumped him. So now he's sitting there wondering what went wrong.

You need some emotional integrity about yourself ... meaning you need to tell the truth about your feelings. For all you know he might have compromised on his schedule.

Instead, you acted like a lil kid and lied about what you wanted then dumped him based on that lie. :/

Makes no sense.
 
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incogneato

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Past few weeks I’ve been thinking about and missing my ex. Today I was lounging outside and the feelings were even stronger. Idk why but I miss his busy ass. He was a Black king, sweet, kind, high achiever, PAID, huge D (didnt try it ...yet), lots of investments and gave the best forehead kisses. He was so nice But he was so damn busy.

I did lie in the beginning and say I didnt care that he worked long hours but it did bug me. He called me out on it and I lied again and said It was okay. This man was ready to make me a comfortable wife. But then one day I was so in my feelings I ghosted him and never responded.

but now time has passed and Im like wtf did I do? I gave up a black man who wanted a black woman. No else compares to him and I really do miss him. I was drinking and I texted him. Im so embarrassed about this so lsa drag me. Like I want him back smh
you ghosted him? Did he call you to find out whats up and to say hi?

A man who really wants you will NOT let you go.

I would not torment yourself over a 'lost' opportunity . NEXT
 

TheShadowKing

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What for?

You can't even tell him the truth about the basics so how are you going to have a real relationship? You just resented him for working so long .. until it all backed up in your brain and you blew a fuse and dumped him. So he's sitting there wondering what went wrong.

You need some emotional integrity which means you need to tell the truth about your feelings. For all you know he might have compromised on his schedule.

Instead, you acted like a lil kid and lied about what you wanted then dumped him based on that lie. :/

Makes no sense.
Yeah it doesn’t make sense at all especially the ghosting that was some true 100% childish bµllsh!t. Folks shouldn’t be coddling adults that do wack sh!t like this. She also lied multiple times when he tried to communicate with her like an adult which suggests he was willing to listen to her feelings and maybe even compromise on his schedule.

I don’t see anything in the OP that suggests that she’s ready to deal with being in a relationship with a busy man still. Her missing him is cute and all but she needs to leave that man alone especially if she hasn’t dealt with whatever unresolved feelings/emotions caused her to Casper this man she’s now speaking so highly of.
 

NarcoticVenus

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I can relate.
My Ex was like you described... rich, future minded, and loyal. The problem is that eventually he became so consumed with his work that I felt ignored. These rich men give their soul to their job, and unfortunately, you do become sidelined of sorts.
That comes with the territory. A man with time to lay up under you all day is not what you want, believe me.
Op here yes I felt sidelined. But I feel like maybe I was doing too much. I dont really want a man in my face everyday but I think knowing hes a catch and all these women (of all races) want him kind of got to me. So if I didnt hear from him i thought maybe we were moving apart.

it seems so crazy in retrospective because he was into me.
This is what your real problem is.

You are insecure so every time he is out of your sight, you are afraid he is finding another, better woman.

This is a you problem, not his.
Op here.

yes I did and he said he missed me. If he gives us a second chance I will definitely take it. But it was good to know he didnt hate me.
Never go back to a man you left. Double if you ghosted him.

He is only coming back to have revenge xes then dump you.

He knows that you are sitting there, with no man and no prospects and want to turn back the hands of time because you see how dumb you were. He will make you pay.

Moving forward, (not with him, obv) you need to work on your self-esteem and find some hobbies (LSA's favorite advice :) )

A grown man on his grind is a good thing. Your life should be so filled that you don't miss him much. Use his busy time to do your hobbies and self-care. When mine is away is when I get my Botox and chemical peels, and hang out with my girlfriends. No busy man wants a woman who is always whining about spending time with him. Plan activities for quality time so that when you are together, it is meaningful and not just you complaining.
 

incogneato

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That comes with the territory. A man with time to lay up under you all day is not what you want, believe me.

This is what your real problem is.

You are insecure so every time he is out of your sight, you are afraid he is finding another, better woman.

This is a you problem, not his.

Never go back to a man you left. Double if you ghosted him.

He is only coming back to have revenge xes then dump you.

He knows that you are sitting there, with no man and no prospects and want to turn back the hands of time because you see how dumb you were. He will make you pay.

Moving forward, (not with him, obv) you need to work on your self-esteem and find some hobbies (LSA's favorite advice :) )

A grown man on his grind is a good thing. Your life should be so filled that you don't miss him much. Use his busy time to do your hobbies and self-care. When mine is away is when I get my Botox and chemical peels, and hang out with my girlfriends. No busy man wants a woman who is always whining about spending time with him. Plan activities for quality time so that when you are together, it is meaningful and not just you complaining.
op here, thanks for the honesty. I do have other guys I'm dating but I don't want them lol. My ex is a chill and nice guy and he's not malicious like that. If he didn't want to talk to me he wouldn't have responded. If anything he is shocked I want to try again. His mother gave him a lot grief after I dipped as he sister told me. But you are right I need to get my own life. Which I will. But I really do want to be with him and I won't be bothering him about his work schedule anymore. given the options I have I rather be with him...
 

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