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Scary Mommy Confessions

fairymist

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Indeed. It really does center on sociocultural/religious customs and expectations not catching up to our modern sensibilities re: marriage and household expectations and dynamic. If, historically, men were raised to believe they have to do the bare minimum, then this mindset is baked into our cultural psyche and the dating and marriage process.

I was in the middle of doing a study on dating, relationships and marriage dynamics when I met my now-husband. Social psychology as it relates to dating and relationships has long fascinated me, and it became a major factor in my dating process when I started dating again. My husband and I have frequent conversations about this subject matter, and I discuss these very matters with our older kids.

The way some modern women approach dating and relationships is the opposite way society approached marriage during our parents’ or grandparents’ days. Marriage, back then, was an arrangement for the sole purpose of passing on lineage and inheritance. Women were simply extensions of their husbands. They weren’t necessarily “free” to have their own preferences because their role was to be Proverbs 31 woman. As long as their husband provided the financial support, he was fulfilling his duty, his obligation. He didn’t need to be an involved or engaged parent. He didn’t need to have emotional awareness and intelligence. He didn’t need to have good communication skills. He didn’t need to be kind or supportive. He didn’t need to be loving. “Compatibility” beyond the sociocultural/religious norms, was not a priority. He just needed to be a “god-fearing man” that supported his family. This, today, isn’t much. But still, today, women are raised and encouraged to focus on the very traits, behaviors, background, etc., that past generations champion.

By the same token, men have been taught to prefer and seek meek, agreeable, submissive women who will assume “traditional” roles. They’re fine with their wives taking extended maternity leave even if that means their career trajectory will be negatively impactEd. After all, it’s the woman’s role and responsibility. I mean, LSA is known to champion the archetype that provides, “protects” (from what?), has a “good” personality (meaning...?), and has “good values” (defined in what way?). They’re not taught to factor in other components that greatly influence how these specific traits manifest and function in the relationship.

I see this time and again in my parenting groups. I’ve been active in probably two dozen pregnancy/baby groups across six babies over the last 16 years. I’ve witnessed young couples and older couples struggle to work due to ignored or glossed over incompatibilities. Because they relied on a set of standards or preferences that failed to consider those traits or characteristics (or lack of desired traits and components) impact the day to day interactions and dynamics of a marriage and household. The 24 year-old marrying her college sweetheart likely started dating him when her standards or criteria centered on how much fun they have, how they “get along,” attraction, and chemistry.

At 22, most single young women are not thinking, “Hmm. Will he get up at 2am to change the baby’s diaper or feed the baby while I pump?” They’re not thinking “What are his thoughts on an egalitarian relationship and household dynamic?” Or “does he exhibit healthy interpersonal dynamics and emotional intelligence?” No. They’re thinking he’s cute or hot, “nice” in some generic way, and fun to hangout with. What someone wants at 22, even if they work well together at that particular stage in life, may not work well once they have matured and fine tuned their preferences and taste and gone through some experiences to better inform their criteria and preferences.

But I see a lot of young women marrying their high school or college sweethearts that end up disappointed and resentful several years and two kids later when they realize their partner isn’t on the same page as them in the ways that matter at that stage of life. If someone’s goal is marriage and kids, no matter their age, they should do the necessary introspection to best figure out the kind of relationship and household dynamic they want and pick the traits, characteristics, behaviors, background, etc., etc., that can best facilitate that. Do you want a partner that supports your desire to SAH during the early years? Where do you stand on, say, educational options? Private or public school? Vaccinations or not vaccinations? Will the child(ren) be raised in the church, and if so, which church?

If you’re (general) thinking ahead into the future and researching your birthing options once you do get married and decide to have kids, will he be on the same page? What if you want a midwife, but he’s insistent that you see an OB? What if you choose to breastfeed and your spouse doesn’t agree with it? (I’ve seen countless new mothers vent about their asshole partner’s being jealous of their breastfed baby).

Do you (general) have compatible communication styles, temperament and love languages? Do your personality types clash? There are so many things to consider when choosing a partner to live with and share a household and [hopefully] raise kids with (since a lot of fathers are barely present and engaged in the day to day parenting routines).

I have this conversation with our oldest on a semi-regular basis as she’s fascinated by social and dating dynamics and the nature of relationship compatibility. We started having these conversations as she approached middle school. It starts with encouraging an understanding of emotional awareness and intelligence and interpersonal dynamics and how they are fundamental to healthy friendships and relationships. She understands how other aspects of one’s personality dimensions/traits, temperament, behaviors, background, thought processes, communication styles, commonalities, etc. can influence compatibility and relationship dynamics. She knows it’s important to factor in these components and to never settle for less than what she wants, based on her criteria.

I adore my husband. If I could build my ideal partner, I’d build him. But most men are trash. He knows this. I tell our older kids they only have control over their choices and what goes in to making those choices. Those choices are best made when they’ve completed college, grad school, lived their life, worked on their goals, and have a better idea who they are and the kind of relationship dynamic they’re best suited for.
Great post!!!
 

Lady Luck 321

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The time period between the babysitter leaving and me getting home at 5 is really tough for my WFH H. It's my revenge for all the years H came home from work whenever he wanted and didn't care about how hard it was to be home with little kids.
 

magicbeens

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Confessional #25825095
ExH treated me like a live-in hoe and housemaid. Was financially abusive and neglectful. I had a fabulous affair, then divorced the ex. No fµck!ng regrets. Not a one, 17 years later.

Confessional #25825094
My parents never had any friends. My parents also never went out. They just sat around the house all night, every night. I am now my parents.

Confessional #25825068
I feel like my dreams and everything don’t matter anymore. I used to feel motivated and now I’m just a stay at home mom with no direction. Makes me feel guilty

Confessional #25825055
Whenever my sister talks down about my husband, I sweetly ask her "How's your husband?" He cheated on her with her friend, divorced her, and screwed her over in the divorce. DH may not be great, but he's a good, loyal man and we have 29 yrs together.
 

magicbeens

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Confessional #25824981
I hope plan b works or I’m fµcked bc it’s not his kid

Confessional #25824976
My MIL just pooped and barfed herself. Now my apartment stinks, I can’t get to my bedroom, and my husband is dying of secondhand embarrassment. She doesn’t like me.

Confessional #25824958
My inner voice tells me I'm a failure and an embarrassment and better off dead. Last month I slapped myself really hard to get it to shut up. It didnt work.

Confessional #25824992
My oldest daughter just woke up one day last week and decided she didn't like me anymore. She rolls her eyes at anything I say now. fµck you.
 

oops

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What are the meanings of the popular acronyms on SM? Like when someone says that they slept with their AP? What is AP?
 

sunshinenmay85

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What I find so funny about this thread is that these stories are most likely by wives of average earning husbands or women that earn more. Very interesting that those who love spewing the rICH MeN ArE ABuSIvE rhetoric are quieter than church mice in this thread.:disdain

Ladies let me tell you a little secret: All men are trash, including average ones. Might as well get one that can provide a comfy living. If you aren’t entering into a hypergamous marriage tf you getting married for?? Married men tend to live longer than married women for a reason, and these confessions will show you why.

Most marriages are statistically skewed in end in divorce. If you MUST absolutely get married, always do it with $$$ as a forefront. Love fades. The miserable feeling of being stuck with a dusty ass man while you slave away at work, and then have to tend to your brats, sticks around for much much longer.

Married women from all walks of life said to me, what I’m telling all of you.

IDK what anybody says women will always have it harder than men. Setting yourself up comfortably in a marriage ($$$) should always be the #1 priority. If wealthy Walter acts up you take half and leave! You can’t do that with Dusty Dan, and sadly these women are the proof of that. Don’t learn the hard way.

I said what I said. If you don’t like it argue with ya mom.
I totally agree. If women are not marrying for hypergamy then I don’t know what is the sense. I guess just to say they are married then go online to complain. Men live longer than married women because they drain women’s life force. The women are drained mentally and physically with very little thanks. In house maid, caretaker, and a lot of times worker going 50/50 on the bills.
 

Meleejaded

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What are the meanings of the popular acronyms on SM? Like when someone says that they slept with their AP? What is AP?
AP: Affair partner
DH: Dear Husband
DS/DD: Dear Daughter or Dear Son
SAHM: Stay at home mom
MIL: Mother in Law
 

lurking222

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bump it seems like scary mommy confessions got a new owner and now the confessional is gone. if anyone finds the new link please post it! but it seems to be gone for good bc the letter from the editor talked about a 'warmer' site and all this bs. lame!!
 

GlitterLady

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bump it seems like scary mommy confessions got a new owner and now the confessional is gone. if anyone finds the new link please post it! but it seems to be gone for good bc the letter from the editor talked about a 'warmer' site and all this bs. lame!!
Whaaaaaat!!! I was just on there a few days ago! A warmer sight! That editor needs to gtfoh. I liked seeing peoples real thoughts and emotions those miserable women needed a place to b!tch about their jobs, marriages, families, and kids. I liked how that sh!t was REAL.

Edit: Yep it sure is gone, wtf. I know hundreds of women will be pushed about that. Someone should start a new site.
 

lurking222

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Whaaaaaat!!! I was just on there a few days ago! A warmer sight! That editor needs to gtfoh. I liked seeing peoples real thoughts and emotions those miserable women needed a place to b!tch about their jobs, marriages, families, and kids. I liked how that sh!t was REAL.

Edit: Yep it sure is gone, wtf. I know hundreds of women will be pushed about that. Someone should start a new site.

i found it!!! they changed the link it was really hidden whew its annoying though bc they changed the way you navigate it bleh

 

Covfefe

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i found it!!! they changed the link it was really hidden whew its annoying though bc they changed the way you navigate it bleh


Whoever bought the site has ruined it on purpose. I was so entertained by those confessions.

Here's one for the 50/50 crowd.

Screenshot 2022-04-28 at 18.21.05.png
 

Covfefe

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lurking222

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Whoever bought the site has ruined it on purpose. I was so entertained by those confessions.

Here's one for the 50/50 crowd.

View attachment 3599904

yep, i thought i posted it in this thread but it was in the childfree thread the editor said it was going to be 'warmer' now lmao and yeah the tinfoil hat in me agrees with the other font that it was probably too real and they want people to keep pushing out babies. i know the confessions were just as if not more popular with childfree people wanting to know the realities of motherhood and patriarchy can't be having that

also even though the confessions are still there they aren't really because unless i'm missing something it only shows a few so lame
 

Covfefe

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yep, i thought i posted it in this thread but it was in the childfree thread the editor said it was going to be 'warmer' now lmao and yeah the tinfoil hat in me agrees with the other font that it was probably too real and they want people to keep pushing out babies. i know the confessions were just as if not more popular with childfree people wanting to know the realities of motherhood and patriarchy can't be having that

also even though the confessions are still there they aren't really because unless i'm missing something it only shows a few so lame


I found the above sub Reddit and I'm currently in this thread. It isn't the same as Scary Mommy but it's something. :ROFLMAO:

 

lurking222

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Mary Jane Girl

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Yeah, I read Breaking Mom too. It’s not as good as the scary mommy site used to be, honestly I find Breaking Mom to be even more depressing than Scary Mommy. Less stories about farts and wild affairs on there and more stories about abusive men who ain’t sh!t. I’ll never have kids, and I doubt I’ll ever get married.
 

ClawdeenWolf

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Confessional #25799780
SHARE

On a road trip I stopped at a McDonald’s and pooped like I never have before. A woman walked in and started gagging.

80 LIKES
70 HUGS
5 ME TOO


Um I was the woman gagging I am pretty sure this confession is about a woman in a mcdonalds bathroom who couldnt stop laughing when she came out the bathroom and saw it was obviously me who was gagging
Around the same time and everything..it was so bad I posted about it on my fb to


Anyways I am pissed the website is gone
 
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