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She a liar and I'm a simp

incogneato

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This is kinda long, sorry in advance! So I've been dipping my toe into the dating scene as a baby bisexual and I met this one girl online. Let's call her Carolyn. She and I really hit it off after the first date, and my feelings have grown more and more ever since. I don't really have my life together right now, and am still living at home, so I wanted to wait until I got into my MBA program so I could move out and formally ask her out. We've been seeing each other for about three months and having xes and stuff (the xes is amazing yall!). I admitted to her that I liked her, and this was very hard to do for me cause I'm not too good at expressing emotion and this is my first time seriously pursuing a girl. It seemed like she liked me back too.

Recently, she asked me to have a threesome with her and her guy "friend" who she had messed around with earlier. Now I was smelling bµllsh!t from the beginning of this, but I thought I was just being jealous since this was my first threesome. We get to the day of, and she cancels on me because she couldn't get a good hotel or whatever. I was okay with that so I didn't pay it any mind. Until I decided to peep her Snap story just to see what she was doing (my simp ass). I saw her boo'd up with ol dude we were supposed to have a threesome with and going on dates with him!

I blew tf up. She says she doesn't understand why i'm getting so angry, and start saying the time we spent together was just for xes. Then she says she likes me back. Then she says that she's wanting to try out polyamory and that she wanted me in on it. She NEVER told me she was poly! And I say "Is that your fµck!ng boyfriend?! You said you were single!" She never told me she had a boyfriend either! She kept me in the dark about this, and then goes on to say that she just started dating this ***** 2 months ago! I was extremely hurt. What about all the times she was openly jealous of me seeing other people cause we weren't official? And all this sh!t about wanting to be my girl? It seemed she wanted girlfriend perks while keeping me in the dark about everything. I told her she should only contact me for xes and nothing more. I was really sad for days afterwards, cause I could not believe she did this to me. I'm not even sure if i'm open to being in a polyamorous relationship.

Anyways' we recently were able to reach an understanding and she apologized for everything. She apologized for her communication being off and for leaving me in the dark about everything. I told her I wasn't sure if I wanted to deal with her past this whole thing, and she said she understood. Now i'm torn. Where should I go from here? I can't help it, I still like her despite this incident but i'm so used to having and being in monogamous relationships and I am not sure if I could fathom sharing her with someone. Or should i just concentrate on just having xes with her and nothing more because of the way she treated me? Or should I consider being in a polyamorous relationship and just reap the possible benefits of still seeing her and being her girlfriend, while openly entertaining other people?
 

Stantonlikzaddy

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Girl you a Sag getting played out like that? lol

Naaa uhh thats wild lol. But idk sounds like shes using you for a toy for her and her bf..if that's what you're with cool..but keep your options open
 

incogneato

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Girl you a Sag getting played out like that? lol

Naaa uhh thats wild lol. But idk sounds like shes using you for a toy for her and her bf..if that's what you're with cool..but keep your options open


Mannn speak on it! Idk what kinda trance is on me. . I think it's the xes lol
 

dewyroses

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Do you think you can handle the fact that she will be seeing other people and vice versa? That is the first question you need to ask yourself and BE HONEST. Do not end up like the women on Seeking Sister Wife or Sister Wives.
 

Remy Newport

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You said you’re bisexual, apparently, so is she. Anyway, it sounds like you can’t handle her so you should move on.
 

coppertop

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She told you she was bisexual and yet you are hurt that she's sleeping with and seeing a man? She even tried to include you in the "relationship" via a threesome so I fail to see the deception here. You guys have only been seeing each other for three months and she's been seeing the guy for two months, which means that she met him one month in with you at which time she did not owe you an explanation of who else she might have been seeing. Again, I fail to see why you are so emotionally invested to the point of distress over someone you've only known for 90 days.
 

OJLoveDaSistas

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You may want to leave her alone. I can assure you nothing will come of y’all two dealing with each other and she will continue to hurt you.
 

JustDessert

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Just leave...

...the way this is gonna play out --when y'all do fall out, because it's gonna happen, she gonna be like, "you already knew what it was when you agreed to stay."

...you gonna be left looking stupid with your feelings hurt.

...and she's a young unevolved Aries? Freakin run!!!!! I'm assuming she's young because this fooleywang story sound like some young, dumb sh!t. I'm a mature Aries saying this, so just take the free warning and thank me later.
 

QueenCutthroat

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She an Aries you’ll never have her the way you want. This is coming from one. But Aries & Sags are very compatible & that’s why she may like you.
 

incogneato

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Thanks for the replies everyone. I understand that she doesn't owe me any explanation because we weren't seeing each other officially or anything. I also understand that she is bisexual and that she is allowed to pursue any type of relationship she sees fit for herself. I think I was hurt because I was very real and honest with her about how I felt, and I foolishly expected her to give me the same treatment.

I also think I jumped the gun by getting too invested in what I thought our relationship could potentially be instead of paying attention to red flags and warning signs. I did see a future with her but again, I overdid it and should have been cognizant of the fact that this is the dating scene and that this may not have been the best way she should have gone about this, but it is very normal for someone to do them and not have to be too invested in someone they met less that 90 days ago.

As for now, I think I need to remember who the fµck I am and leave her alone if I'm not getting what I want out of this, or just be with her strictly for xes and nothing else. Your responses have definitely made me lean much more to leaving her alone. My feelings for her have clouded my Sag fuckboy (girl?) ways, and I need a bit of time to get my sh!t back together and start stuntin on these hoes again as I was a couple of months ago. Thanks for your responses!
 

2020

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Stop being so dramatic and just enjoy your time with her
Thanks for the replies everyone. I understand that she doesn't owe me any explanation because we weren't seeing each other officially or anything. I also understand that she is bisexual and that she is allowed to pursue any type of relationship she sees fit for herself. I think I was hurt because I was very real and honest with her about how I felt, and I foolishly expected her to give me the same treatment.

I also think I jumped the gun by getting too invested in what I thought our relationship could potentially be instead of paying attention to red flags and warning signs. I did see a future with her but again, I overdid it and should have been cognizant of the fact that this is the dating scene and that this may not have been the best way she should have gone about this, but it is very normal for someone to do them and not have to be too invested in someone they met less that 90 days ago.

As for now, I think I need to remember who the fµck I am and leave her alone if I'm not getting what I want out of this, or just be with her strictly for xes and nothing else. Your responses have definitely made me lean much more to leaving her alone. My feelings for her have clouded my Sag fuckboy (girl?) ways, and I need a bit of time to get my sh!t back together and start stuntin on these hoes again as I was a couple of months ago. Thanks for your responses!
 

yolo

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Hey OP,

I sympathize with you. I’ve been in a similar situation before where I had been dealing with a girl for four months consistently only to find out she was also seeing a man. I also created a thread on this board about it a couple years ago lol.

I went through some of the same things as you so I completely understand. If I were you, I would cut this off. There does not seem to be any hope for you to become exclusive with her and that is what you ultimately want. If anything, she will continue to treat you less than your worth if you continue. I couldn’t imagine sharing my lover with anyone and that’s an automatic disqualification for me. This will eat at you mentally and you will waste so much time feeling miserable.

I think three months is more than enough time to develop feelings for her but not long enough for you to hold on. Find someone that knows that they want you and has good intentions with you.

Personally, I withhold from xes from someone I like until I know we are on the same page and want the same things...and I ask a lot of questions about their intentions so that I don’t waste my time. Unfortunately, people will still lie if they want something from you.

But don’t settle for being someone’s option when they are bored...ever.
 

Joseph Polise

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Are you still seeing this woman or have you moved on? If you are seeing her is it just xes or more of a relationship? I'm also a Sag involved with a damn Aries and after reading your story I feel it's best for you to do your own thing!
 

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