incogneato
No face, no case.
Tl;dr My siblings and I have a fractured relationship and they not part of my wedding party. My future in-laws are paying for the rehearsal dinner, which currently has a guest list of 30 people. Do I have to invite my siblings?
Background:
My siblings and I are not close at all. They are invited to my wedding but they are not part of my wedding party. I’ve never been close with my older brother, who, when we were younger, would randomly decide to stop talking to me for months or years at a time with zero explanation (we lived in the same household and he would just pretend I didn’t exist...). My sisters and I used to be “close,” but I had a falling out with one of them a few weeks before I got engaged. Weeks after I got engagedI called out the other one for not reaching out to me whatsoever. It’s been a long time coming, and I’m simply no longer interested in a close relationship with them.
We grew up in a toxic, narcissistic family where I was the scapegoat and I’ve had to go through a ton of therapy and spiritual growth to heal from the trauma. I used to blame my parents for my trauma, and I’ve worked through forgiving them and having a cordial relationship with them, but it’s only since the falling out with my sisters that I realized my siblings are a huge part of my trauma as well, and I’ve never addressed that.
Our parents tried hard to convince me to make them my bridesmaids. They claimed I would regret it for the rest of my life, if I didn’t have them as bridesmaids over what they believe will be a temporary situation. When I spoke to my sisters, they didn’t even want to be my bridesmaids, so... Anyway, luckily I have really great friends.
My future husband’s parents will be paying for the rehearsal. Right now, with immediate family and our wedding party, nearly half our wedding attendees will be at the rehearsal and it seems like a LOT. If I were to cut my siblings and their spouses/kids, it would cut 6 people. And I’ll be honest... I don’t really want my siblings there. My parents are also hosting another event, where everyone will get a chance to meet before the wedding. Is it really that important that my siblings be there?
Background:
My siblings and I are not close at all. They are invited to my wedding but they are not part of my wedding party. I’ve never been close with my older brother, who, when we were younger, would randomly decide to stop talking to me for months or years at a time with zero explanation (we lived in the same household and he would just pretend I didn’t exist...). My sisters and I used to be “close,” but I had a falling out with one of them a few weeks before I got engaged. Weeks after I got engagedI called out the other one for not reaching out to me whatsoever. It’s been a long time coming, and I’m simply no longer interested in a close relationship with them.
We grew up in a toxic, narcissistic family where I was the scapegoat and I’ve had to go through a ton of therapy and spiritual growth to heal from the trauma. I used to blame my parents for my trauma, and I’ve worked through forgiving them and having a cordial relationship with them, but it’s only since the falling out with my sisters that I realized my siblings are a huge part of my trauma as well, and I’ve never addressed that.
Our parents tried hard to convince me to make them my bridesmaids. They claimed I would regret it for the rest of my life, if I didn’t have them as bridesmaids over what they believe will be a temporary situation. When I spoke to my sisters, they didn’t even want to be my bridesmaids, so... Anyway, luckily I have really great friends.
My future husband’s parents will be paying for the rehearsal. Right now, with immediate family and our wedding party, nearly half our wedding attendees will be at the rehearsal and it seems like a LOT. If I were to cut my siblings and their spouses/kids, it would cut 6 people. And I’ll be honest... I don’t really want my siblings there. My parents are also hosting another event, where everyone will get a chance to meet before the wedding. Is it really that important that my siblings be there?