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Soft spoken Black women

BALERION

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Some of y'all are mad weird in here and the things being said makes no sense. Just projecting

I won't bother @ing y'all cause you are going to see this post anyway
 

Agent Syd

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Lmao why are the deep voiced girlies so upset at OP and other soft-spoken black women for telling their stories?

Deep voiced isn't the opposite of soft spoken, lol. There are soft spoken deep voiced people, but judging from the consensus I think the majority of us in here are kid voiced, unfortunately. The issue isn't with soft spoken fonts sharing their stories, it's the bµllsh!t they're trying to pull with throwing heavy set black women, or non reserved black people under the bus as some sort of comparison, invoking offensive stereotypes while their at it and the tired ass narrative of those types of black people being "jealous" of them for being "soft spoken", which is actually code for "proper" in this case. See my post #103 for reference.
 

Jeff Bezos

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I noticed me having a soft, higher voice had some sort of weird effect on (some) people. It would make them more inclined to want to give me things (without me asking or even hinting) or overlook when I was being an asshole. Especially a select few customers at my old job.

It's very hard for me to fully explain, but it was just something I noticed.

I'm sure having a soft voice did not help me with misogynists though. It probably made them more inclined to feel as if they could intimidate or mistreat me since I'm on the smaller side, have a high voice, and some other characteristics that can be interpreted as feminine, childlike, or weak. Fuckers.
 

LieslAlbrecht

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Be soft-spoken and buck back at those trying to take advantage. Gets ‘em every time.

I haven’t gotten the us against them thing while being myself. If anything, I listen and bring up things that sound interesting about others or make a joke. Unless very nasty and condescending, people who dislike my quietness isn’t a big deal. Okay, personality clash. I’m used to the scrutiny, especially with the West Indian side of my fam. When I was little I cried, but as I got older I was like “Yes, and what else?” Not even rudely, more amused.

The soft voice and sometimes quietness is uncomfortable for most people. It feels sneaky, and how do you approach situations like that? I tell folks that I’m receptive and my mind is blank if I sense uneasiness. You gotta pivot with different personalities.
 

BabysScorpio

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Ur boss is just condescending. I’m soft spoken but personally have never had someone imitate my base level, mostly just have ppl telling me to speak up or teaching me how to project my voice lol but I do notice that I get treated favorably and get what I want at my job/school/home and i think it’s due to me being soft spoken. I get away with saying certain things bc of it too and ik if a woman w a deeper voice were to do/say the things i do, they’d be called a b!tch.
 

Rx1990

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Idk if soft spoken is the right word for me. I guess my voice is “soft “ but it’s not high pitched or anything. Maybe calm/soothing is a better word. I do notice that people do typically match my tone of voice. For example, when I was a teenager I worked in consumer service. Often times customers that came in with attitude and just knew they were going to yell at me would leave much calmer after speaking with me. The conversation would end with them speaking as calmly to me as I was to them.

I do get called sweetheart by men sometimes. I don’t necessarily care for that lol.
 

Haitian1

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I noticed me having a soft, higher voice had some sort of weird effect on (some) people. It would make them more inclined to want to give me things (without me asking or even hinting) or overlook when I was being an asshole. Especially a select few customers at my old job.

It's very hard for me to fully explain, but it was just something I noticed.

I'm sure having a soft voice did not help me with misogynists though. It probably made them more inclined to feel as if they could intimidate or mistreat me since I'm on the smaller side, have a high voice, and some other characteristics that can be interpreted as feminine, childlike, or weak. Fuckers.
Yep same here but some people say it's because I'm light skinned others say it's because I have a baby face and look like a kid still. I'm going with a baby face and a soft voice makes them see me as childlike or something.
 

Jeff Bezos

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Yep same here but some people say it's because I'm light skinned others say it's because I have a baby face and look like a kid still. I'm going with a baby face and a soft voice makes them see me as childlike or something.
I think it's that too. I'm dark skinned so it probably more than likely having a baby face, rather than skin color. I recently had some maintenance guys come into my home for an inspection. When I opened the door they asked where my parents were LMAO!
 

Divinely Loved

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I am soft spoken and people have told me my voice is very calming. I work in healthcare so it makes it easier to put people at ease especially if they are ill or anxious. I also find that it is helpful when you have to deescalate tense situations.

I will say that people treat me very nicely and rarely come out of their bags. Men also soften their voices with me. I personally rather a man talk soft to me, all of that agression or even aggressive people can be jarring. I rarely raise my voice, no yelling, I feel like I am perfectly capable of getting my point across without all of that energy.

There are times that I wish I didn't have to repeat myself so much, but I don't mind it. This is who I am and I am happy being me
 

Qu33nM3

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And dont be wearing a mask! I feel like I have to holler just to speak lol
 

liquid alloy

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You sound very young. This isn't a bad thing and I hope you know that.

Instead of celebrating your femininity online you should go ahead and take advantage of it in the real world with real people. (Although this is a great step one!)

I swear some young femme BW online act like they're the first pretty feminine black woman to live and get male attention from all races. It actually isn't that uncommon for pretty young BW to have it easy in mixed company. Just go win. You see it's easier and not that bad. Don't overthink it. Sounds like you don't even need a strategy from us. Just decide what you want and get it because you are in a great position. Whether it's a great career or a man or a combo of both (I would suggest the last).

Being feminine and nice and pretty is like playing life on easy mode. I don't understand why people are acting like being considered shy or bougie is even a problem for a young lady. Just go for it and have fun. It's not like you're the first ever to be in this position as a black woman so just enjoy and have fun. There is no need for survivor's guilt. Online on LSA it seems like the "average" BW's experience is getting spit on by everyone. I'm not in a position to invalidate anyone's experiences but I simply cannot relate. It's okay if you can't either and if people are generally nice to you. Just keep living, and build close relationships with people you can trust.

Oh and don't be scared of women. Some women will hate you but some will actively try to befriend you. Literally some women prefer befriending other women who are quiet but cute(so they can shine). Pick the latter, vet out the trash, and you will be doing great. Who the hell wants to hang out with women who hate other women for being pretty and chill?

Good post.
 

liquid alloy

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I'm tired of anti-Black women posts that are othering Black women.

There's nothing special about having a professional inside voice/volume.

Plenty of Black women do and to act like you're some anomaly or special snowflake is to insult the millions of Black women every day who are working, professional and have lots of decorum.

As a matter of fact, it sounds like you're working in $10/hour call centers or Walmart or the Dollar Tree if you think this is sPeCiAl.

Most Black women are not any of these hateful stereotypes and NO ONE under the ages of 70 uses hate speech words like the m work, sapphire and jezebel.

Being socially inept, socially disabled, having poor interpersonal skills, thinking that other Black women who you've never even spoken to, doesn't make you special. It's moreso probably just untreated mental illness, paranoia and extreme anxiety.

Where are you that most Black women are NOT soft spoken?

Dollar Tree?
Burger King?
Someone's food court?

I know plenty of Black women who use appropriate tone and volume in the workplace and there's nothing special about it.

It's just what normal people do.

I can't believe these digital Black people are making this a thing.

I always count on you to spit fire and spice up the comments :LOL:
 

liquid alloy

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And dont be wearing a mask! I feel like I have to holler just to speak lol

omg the masks. I'm normally soft-spoken (some call it inside-voice) unless I'm excited, and the masks make it much worse! I also have an accent in my non-native language so all of that combined makes it that much worse.
 

Doodidraws

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Yes I've noticed that too, if you don't fit into the sassy Black woman troupe, not only do people get uneasy they even hate you for it. It's not just non Black people, even other BW do this too. Like even Black people believe in their own stereotypes. Why is it so hard to believe that a BW can be something other than hood, angry, or loud.
People also can't wait to try to disrespect you too
 

O.o

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You’re really strange.
I'm a Black woman who doesn't have to attack other Black women to describe myself.

What's most telling is the pure lack of personal/professional accomplishments or any material or financial gain from all this white acceptance.

I bet not a single one of you nets more than $12000 USD per month.
 

O.o

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This thread reminds me of the Book Group when the ugly American woman gets jealous and offended because the pretty, rich and glamorous footballers wives, who are bubbly and friendly, are also educated, with careers of their own.

She thought she was going to be the special one until the 10s show up and crack her face.

If people have nothing else, they have the ORDASITY (LSA spelling).

 

lucygoosey

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I think it's that too. I'm dark skinned so it probably more than likely having a baby face, rather than skin color. I recently had some maintenance guys come into my home for an inspection. When I opened the door they asked where my parents were LMAO!
Having a baby face will garner the same treatment. The good thing is that your youthful look will pay off in the long run :wink7
 

O.o

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I'm all for a world where Black women are NOT prejudged for any reason whatsoever.

Whatever your talents and traits are that make you special are wonderful, but there's no need to dog anyone else who is different.

Black women are free to be whomsoever we want to be AT ALL TIMES.



IF YOU HAVE TO PUT OTHER PEOPLE DOWN TO DESCRIBE YOURSELF SOMETHING IS WRONG!!!
 
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O.o

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Major insecurity as usual. A person's respective experience would never offend you otherwise.
Major insecurity is describe yourself IN COMPARISON TO OTHER PEOPLE AND PUT THEM DOWN!!!
 

Lexi0789

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I’ve been told that I have a soft spoken voice my entire life. Obviously my voice sounds different in my head but I’ve listened to my voice over the years and my voice has deepened a little in the last few years. I’m 32 now, which I enjoy very much, otherwise I think I sound like a 12 year old. I’m trying to think of reactions from people. I will say men, and from Black men they call me innocent and sweet and nice, when I say I’m not that nice they tell me no, a person like me never gets mad. I think women give me the same reaction, they typically don’t comment on my voice though like men do.
 

Triela

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My voice isn't normally soft, but when it is it's a love it or hate it kind of deal. Reserved people like it, but some gregarious people don't. The opposite is true when I speak loud.
 
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Mzsheisty

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I'm a Black woman who doesn't have to attack other Black women to describe myself.

What's most telling is the pure lack of personal/professional accomplishments or any material or financial gain from all this white acceptance.

I bet not a single one of you nets more than $12000 USD per month.
And most loud mfs like you on welfare cuz no real profession putting up with you manners don't equal ****
 

Mzsheisty

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No it's you loud fighting heffas working at the dollar store your attitude don't work in the corporate world and y'all far from special the whole world can't stand you nor wants to marry you
I always count on you to spit fire and spice up the comments
 

Mzsheisty

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You ever had to walk up on someone and slit their throat?

The element of surprise always helps.

The best assassins are the quiet ones.

Smile in your face and poison your drink...
And you loud heffas will throw hands real quick snake b!tches
 

nominatus

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What you're describing is called condescension. And yup, you'll constantly have to deal with that. First thing I learned working is that white people feel more at ease with the loud, outspoken and fat (no offense) bw than the quiet ones. Don't know why, we don't have the rep of going on shooting sprees.
They won’t look at you as a potential threat. But I honestly just think by knowing you’re better then them, and having a much higher qualifications, it really presses their mental state. Though I hate that it is like this.
 

JustKelly44

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soft spoken BW aren’t that common, I know a few.
So yes, they are threatened hence the condescension.

if folks are threatened then you’re on the right track. Just keep doing you, and find a provider so you’ll no longer have to endure hating ass men & women at the corporate plantation. Or only goto work if you choose to, not because you have to.

y’all are to be appreciated and imitated!! I’m trying to soften up.
 

JustKelly44

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Okay I’m at these food trucks and I’m noticing alotta BW stand with their legs apart like they have a dick. Even if they’re wearing a dress.
 

Sarlucy

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I’m a soft spoken, quiet black girl from the projects and the hood. People accuse me of being sneaky and having something to hide. Some people are jealous of my sweetness. Some think that try to take advantage of me because they think they can.
 

PoeticPisces

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I have similar experiences, and it’s always the older men tryna run game (my Cap rising is so strong, friends and love interests tend to be older than me). I wave it all off but let me catch one that’s fine and looks like money one of these days... a bih might have to bite

View attachment 2546840
Don't have a cap rising but I have Saturn in 1st house which is said to be similar. It makes sense why all my serious relationships have been guys older than me (late 20s, 30s).
 

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