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Solo trip experience no one ever speaks about, the feeling of boredom or loneliness.

the1notda2

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I feel stupid feeling the way I do…

I recently went on my first solo trip.
Room was amazing, scenery and place of vacation were beautiful, did an activity or 2 each day that were fun and most importantly had some amazing food.

Yet I couldn’t knock the feeling of being lonely and bored by myself on my trip.

If you knew me irl, you’d know I’m actually an ‘to myself’ type of person, circle extremely small and typically love being home in my space alone. I love it.

But… I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wish I had at least 1 person to laugh and experience this with… & no I don’t mean needing a man with me either.
& I don’t like big group trips either cuz ppl are generally annoying on group trips unorganized.

I hate that I felt like my trip would of been funnier with at least 1 friend or family to experience it with but people that I know can’t take off, have money or are UNRELIABLE when it comes to planning trip in general.
I’ve always heard about people’s experiences and how much solo tripping is raved about… and I was finally over being fearful of going on vacation by myself in terms of safety.

Has anyone else ever shared the same experience & what are your thoughts.
I still do recommend doing solo trips, all & all because of the freedom and readiness to do whatever whenever is great.
 

Rere84

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You have to get comfortable being by yourself--simply because you are with you all the time. I'm all for solo trips, outings etc....I work with the general public-meaning I deal with people bothering me five to six days a week for eight hours, so for me, its nice to be alone
 

the1notda2

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You have to get comfortable being by yourself--simply because you are with you all the time. I'm all for solo trips, outings etc....I work with the general public-meaning I deal with people bothering me five to six days a week for eight hours, so for me, its nice to be alone
I am normally in my everyday life comfortably being by myself and love being that way and as I do too work with high volumes of people. I work for an airline… so it shocked me that I felt that way. Guess I’m not all the way there outside of my norm
 

Lushlife123

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I feel stupid feeling the way I do…

I recently went on my first solo trip.
Room was amazing, scenery and place of vacation were beautiful, did an activity or 2 each day that were fun and most importantly had some amazing food.

Yet I couldn’t knock the feeling of being lonely and bored by myself on my trip.

If you knew me irl, you’d know I’m actually an ‘to myself’ type of person, circle extremely small and typically love being home in my space alone. I love it.

But… I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wish I had at least 1 person to laugh and experience this with… & no I don’t mean needing a man with me either.
& I don’t like big group trips either cuz ppl are generally annoying on group trips unorganized.

I hate that I felt like my trip would of been funnier with at least 1 friend or family to experience it with but people that I know can’t take off, have money or are UNRELIABLE when it comes to planning trip in general.
I’ve always heard about people’s experiences and how much solo tripping is raved about… and I was finally over being fearful of going on vacation by myself in terms of safety.

Has anyone else ever shared the same experience & what are your thoughts.
I still do recommend doing solo trips, all & all because of the freedom and readiness to do whatever whenever is great.
I definitely understand where you’re coming from and I actually felt the same way. I’ve solo travelled 4 times and most of them went great, I was able to centre myself and reflect on what I was going through but there are some countries where solo travelling can feel a bit lonely and I wish i had at least one person to experience the excursions and the culture with. I have a few countries that I have on my list and I hope one of my close friends will like to go just so that I can see how that’s like
 

the1notda2

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I can totally relate. I'm generally very introverted and keep to myself, but mostly I don't enjoy solo trips unless there's a purpose to it - ie, shopping, going to see an exhibit and then coming back. I don't like the downtimes by myself, especially if it's meal times.

I do feel like I miss out on a lot because of this (countless gigs I skip because I have no one to go with), which sucks, but the feeling of loneliness sucks harder.
Exactly… it does suck harder a bit. I enjoyed my stay & glad I went & experienced some where beautiful tho.
 

Peoniesinspring

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Everyone is different so OP don't beat yourself up for feeling the way you do. I went through a phase where I was single for a long time (before I married), not that it mattered because the guys I dated had no interest or inclination to travel. I tried travelling with friends. I would plan and they would let me down if better plans came along for them or we would travel and find that whilst we were great friends, we had nothing in common. I had to deal with late risers (I'm a morning person) drinking all day ( I prefer a glass after a hard day of sightseeing), friends running out of money and me having to sub them, friends who want to shop in department stores (I hate shopping unless it's the fun of haggling), friends with fussy eating and dietary habits which can limit where I want to eat, friends not interested or wanting to do certain activities. The list goes on.

Throw in the countless times I missed gigs and concerts whilst friends are deciding on the best seats, whether they can afford them and if I can wait and get tickets for their cousins or friends of friends. As a result I missed seeing Barry White and Prince in London, something that pains me to this day. My husband works overseas a lot but if he is around and interested, I get tickets otherwise I go to gigs and concerts by myself. Do I care about others seeing a solo woman at a concert by herself? No, I couldn't care less about people that I don't know and may never see again in my life. I'm enjoying myself too much to worry about that.

I would come back from trips sometimes dissatisfied and came to terms with the fact that I could do better by myself. For years I booked short term Euro weekend trips (I live in the UK). I did long haul trips to every part of the globe. Yes there are times when company is nice like eating out and doing things in the evening but I weighed it up against all the things that I enjoyed and wanted to do and got to do (and more) without a shred of guilt. I have absolutely beautiful memories of some amazing trips that I know I wouldn't have got with friends. At the same time, I changed jobs that meant a lot of international travel and after a while I got totally used to it and loved the idea of looking forward to what a new trip had in store for me.

My mother always said to look out for yourself first and she was right. I know people who will never travel, eat or go to the movies without company. The idea of missing out on life waiting for a friend or a partner never worked for me. I've always wanted to live life regardless of who was around to enjoy it with me.

Maybe it will take more trips to feel comfortable. Maybe it will take an event in your life to make you realise that loneliness and boredom is a state of mind because you can be with someone and still feel lonely or maybe solo travel is not for you, OP. And that's perfectly fine. Stay sweet and remember to live your best life because none of us are getting out of here alive.
 
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jcoll

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It’s tough. I work for an airline so I can travel for free whenever I want, but my friends and family can’t travel with the same flexibility. Hell, I can’t even travel with my partner, so the choice is solo travel. But it gets lonely, especially doing it as often as I do.
 

Gomez A Batiste

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OP I do most of my traveling solo. I’ve been there. I remember going to Rome and thinking how beautiful it was. But I couldn’t shake the feeling of loneliness.
I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and kept myself as busy as possible. Believe it or not, I met some cool people through tinder (strictly platonic) and they gave me tips on additional places to go


Although I have my moments of loneliness, I try to remind myself how good I have it. I can’t promise that the feeling will go away, but I just try to make my trips as “magical” as possible.
 

Mariahs Chariot

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OP, you’ve only been on one solo trip.

That said, if you’re the type of person who can’t go anywhere alone without being lonely or getting bored I recommend you look into a travel group or you need to find at least one trusted travel partner who can actually afford to travel and are willing.

I would argue that most people who travel alone regularly, enjoy traveling solo so of course they’re not going to be talking about being lonely and bored because they aren’t. Maybe you might want to look into the reason that you are actually traveling or the actual reasons that you are wishing for a companion. Just because other people are raving about traveling solo doesn’t mean that it’s for you.
 

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That's exactly why I never travel alone for fun. I wanted to many times but I know I would bum myself out and might even spiral into depression if I tried it. Even furniture shopping alone could trigger that feeling in me though so I just know a trip will have me crying looking out the window all crazy
 

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It's normal to want to socialize with people while traveling, find events on Meetup in the city you're in. Join socially oriented tours through Viator.. In one city I went on a live music bar crawl - I had a great time and met fun/hilarious people. Outside the US you can join excursions run by hostels - when you land in a foreign city, find a large hostel and ask the people at the front desk about their event/excursion calendar. A lot of them have an online presence too. Hostels usually vet excursions really well and host the ones people find the most interesting and fun.

Traveling solo doesn't mean you have to do everything by yourself, just means you can fully control the pace and quality of the trip.
 
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usernamusernam

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I’m an introvert that loves my alone time but I also like time with family and friends and my boyfriend. I really want to go on a solo trip but I am afraid of feeling like this. I like being alone. I think experiencing new things with other people are better than being alone though. You get that shared experience that you talk about for years after that.
 

La Rona

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If I start to feel lonely on a solo trip I keep an eye out for another solo female traveler. They’ll often be happy to have dinner with you etc. Or I’ll take an escorted tour, where there are other people. By the end of the tour you’ll be happy to go back to your empty hotel room lol. Also, if you hate eating alone eat at the bar. I have the bartenders compete over who can make me the best mocktail. There are also travel groups for women if solo is just not for you.
 

MamasGunnn0001

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I think that’s a normal, sort of healthy reaction to a first solo trip OP. I used to travel for work and I’ll just be honest and say that I HATED it. Although I love alone time bc I’m an introvert, I missed my family so much. But Family/friends can sometimes ruin a good trip if you’re not careful lol.

It all depends on the person. Those work trips was proof to me that a vacation alone would never benefit me. But I have friends who would do anything to get a solo vacay away from family and friends, so as I said, it depends on the person.

But just be careful if you travel alone. Socialize but don’t get too friendly. Take plenty of tours, this helped me a lot on business trips. You’re among other tourists and it turns into a full day of activities. You’ll be so tired by the end of the day until that empty hotel room will feel like a sanctuary.
 

SuccessfullyMe

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I’m an introvert that loves my alone time but I also like time with family and friends and my boyfriend. I really want to go on a solo trip but I am afraid of feeling like this. I like being alone. I think experiencing new things with other people are better than being alone though. You get that shared experience that you talk about for years after that.

I was on a work trip nearby but went to Austin and Tennessee differen't trips solo. TN was fine and I enjoyed myself ... I even went on a tour of a whiskey place which is outside of my norm as an introvert. Austin was incredibly lonely at night because it's very weird for me to go to a bar or club alone. Also, you see all the peeps with their friends. The bar was also kinda boring.

Going to places solo to me depends on the place. I'm a nature hoe now but I would want to go with at least one other person for safety reasons. Anything nightlife related requires 1++. But if I'm in a city (US) with a plan ... fµck a friend. Vegas is another place not for solo. I think most of the US is great for solo traveling. International personally I would need another people except for Canada. Canada is def different. Spa == solo time.
 

SinCndomPapi

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This is normal so don’t feel bad. Having alone time is great and needed but having a companion with you is always better. Even when they annoy you, even the arguments. All very normal.
 

Peoniesinspring

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I read a lot of advice about trying to meet like minded solo travellers during travels. Be mindful of this. Some people choose and love solo travel and might not be amenable to a bored traveller wanting to meet for dinner. As well as that, you can come across as needy which is never good. Once in Paris, a lovely AA couple invited me to their table for dinner. It was sweet. I declined politely and told them that I was fine eating by myself. Some people don't get the fact that solo people are fine by themselves. With that said, I have met some nice people on my travels that I am friends with years later, albeit online.

Try joining a travel or social forum and throw the idea of a travel partner out there. If they are local, meet for a few drinks to decide if you like each other before you decide to travel together. Some people have had real good luck.
 

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I’ve definitely felt the same but things have changed. I mostly travel solo but if folks come they come. If they don’t ..they don’t. When I reach out to folks it’s me being nice and inviting you. Better believe imma go with or w/o you lol. I used to feel some type of way which was bored and lonely. Nowadays I just don’t care I can’t be waiting for folks so I can enjoy myself. Life is too short the only thing is not having folks who can take your pictures lol.
 

Mademoiselle

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I just did 3 weeks solo. I invited someone for the 4th week of my vacation and I was so happy that I had done everything I wanted to before their arrival.

The company was okay, but I had a much better time when I was solo.

I will know next time. Even if I add another to my solo trip, I will be sure to have more solo time alone even after that person and I part ways.

We left together and I felt like I needed another vacation.
 

Lushlife123

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I just did 3 weeks solo. I invited someone for the 4th week of my vacation and I was so happy that I had done everything I wanted to before their arrival.

The company was okay, but I had a much better time when I was solo.

I will know next time. Even if I add another to my solo trip, I will be sure to have more solo time alone even after that person and I part ways.

We left together and I felt like I needed another vacation.
That’s a good idea and I might try that next time I travel. I’m an early bird and I like to go on long walks when I travel and that’s not everyone’s cup of tea so I don’t mind meeting up with a friend for a small portion of my holiday just to do the stuff I don’t want to do on my own
 

The Phantom

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OP, that is exactly why I have not traveled alone. I like to have a companion, someone to discuss the sights, joke and eat with. When I'm home alone I fully enjoy my own company but when Im out and about I want to share that with someone, My Mom is the complete opposite, she has traveled all over the world and taken cruises by her lonesome but she is also the type to walk into a room and make instant friends. She says when she travels alone people just naturally will start talking to you but I think it depends on the person, she has always been a people magnet. I'm a weirdo magnet so yeah I cant do it. If you find the secret or solution to travel alone for quiet, shy people like me pleae let me know!
 

LuvMissDee

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See I knew this was a thing but nobody talks about it and one of the reasons I won’t solo travel. I love being home and have a small group of friends but being alone in another country seems to put a magnifying glass on that isolation. Good thing is your starting to learn yourself and this maybe just one thing you don’t like and that’s ok.
 

Sarah330

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Everyone is different so OP don't beat yourself up for feeling the way you do. I went through a phase where I was single for a long time (before I married), not that it mattered because the guys I dated had no interest or inclination to travel. I tried travelling with friends. I would plan and they would let me down if better plans came along for them or we would travel and find that whilst we were great friends, we had nothing in common and I had to deal with late risers (I'm a morning person) drinking all day ( I prefer a glass after a hard day of sightseeing), friends running out of money and me having to sub them, friends who want to shop in department stores (I hate shopping unless it's the fun of haggling), friends with fussy eating and dietary habits which can limit where I want to eat, friends not interested or wanting to do certain activities. The list goes on.

Throw in the countless times I missed gigs and concerts whilst friends are deciding on the best seats, whether they can afford them and if I can wait and get tickets for their cousins or friends of friends. As a result I missed seeing Barry White and Prince in London, something that pains me to this day. My husband works overseas a lot but if he is around and interested, I get tickets otherwise I go to gigs and concerts by myself. Do I care about others seeing a solo woman at a concert by herself? No, I couldn't care less about people that I don't know and may never see again in my life. I'm enjoying myself too much to worry about that.

I would come back from trips sometimes dissatisfied and came to terms with the fact that I could do better by myself. For years I booked short term Euro weekend trips (I live in the UK). I did long haul trips to every part of the globe. Yes there are times when company is nice like eating out and doing things in the evening but I weighed it up against all the things that I enjoyed and wanted to do and got to do (and more) without a shred of guilt. I have absolutely beautiful memories of some amazing trips that I know I wouldn't have got with friends. At the same time, I changed jobs that meant a lot of international travel and after a while I got totally used to it and loved the idea of looking forward to what a new trip had in store for me.

My mother always said to look out for yourself first and she was right. I know people who will never travel, eat or go to the movies without company. The idea of missing out on life waiting for a friend or a partner never worked for me. I've always wanted to live life regardless of who was around to enjoy it with me.

Maybe it will take more trips to feel comfortable. Maybe it will take an event in your life to make you realise that loneliness and boredom is a state of mind because you can be with someone and still feel lonely or maybe solo travel is not for you, OP. And that's perfectly fine. Stay sweet and remember to live your best life because none of us are getting out of here alive.
I love this. I have felt like OP and you countless of times but I usually just let them win and don't go out by myself. For safety reasons and just for company I would prefer to go to concerts or vacations with people.. I have learned that vacations can ruin friendships. You would think with all of the ways to connect now as people that we would be able to be connected.. instead it's the opposite.

What do you do for a living if you don't mind me asking? That's amazing as far as what you said about your travels.
 

Sarah330

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OP, that is exactly why I have not traveled alone. I like to have a companion, someone to discuss the sights, joke and eat with. When I'm home alone I fully enjoy my own company but when Im out and about I want to share that with someone, My Mom is the complete opposite, she has traveled all over the world and taken cruises by her lonesome but she is also the type to walk into a room and make instant friends. She says when she travels alone people just naturally will start talking to you but I think it depends on the person, she has always been a people magnet. I'm a weirdo magnet so yeah I cant do it. If you find the secret or solution to travel alone for quiet, shy people like me pleae let me know!
Omg that's like my mom. She will make friends in a second mean while she has RBF 24/7. People just gravitate to her.
 

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I make an effort to interact with people on trips — depending on my mood they might turn into the people I spend a lot of time with during my stay or just nice one-off interactions in the moment. Next time be more open, is my advice.
 

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I feel stupid feeling the way I do…

I recently went on my first solo trip.
Room was amazing, scenery and place of vacation were beautiful, did an activity or 2 each day that were fun and most importantly had some amazing food.

Yet I couldn’t knock the feeling of being lonely and bored by myself on my trip.

If you knew me irl, you’d know I’m actually an ‘to myself’ type of person, circle extremely small and typically love being home in my space alone. I love it.

But… I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wish I had at least 1 person to laugh and experience this with… & no I don’t mean needing a man with me either.
& I don’t like big group trips either cuz ppl are generally annoying on group trips unorganized.

I hate that I felt like my trip would of been funnier with at least 1 friend or family to experience it with but people that I know can’t take off, have money or are UNRELIABLE when it comes to planning trip in general.
I’ve always heard about people’s experiences and how much solo tripping is raved about… and I was finally over being fearful of going on vacation by myself in terms of safety.

Has anyone else ever shared the same experience & what are your thoughts.
I still do recommend doing solo trips, all & all because of the freedom and readiness to do whatever whenever is great.

If you were bored you are a boring person in general
 

Voiderror404

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I am very very very kept to myself & find peace in being alone. The last time I went on vacation I was alone and I really didn't mind it. I did a road trip a few years ago with 3 friends and it was fun but by the second day my social battery died lol.


For me, being alone is less trouble. No arguments, no drama, no discomfort, but it's also a double edged sword since I do have close friends but have grown so sccusitomed to being alone, I get uncomfortable around groups of people very fast.

I don't feel lonely when I Vaca alone. I feel more at peace
 

msellie

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As someone else said, plan your trip around something social - an outdoor concert/food-wine-musicnfestival/state fair an art exhibit, a trip to a historic site during a commemoration…that way, you will be alone amongst many and wont feel isolated, even if you dont want to interact with others.

i love to travel alone bc i am moving according to my itinerary and am not forced to accomodate anyone.

im planning a solo trip to disney and key west florida right now. No one to complain why i ordered up a lot of food to just pick over it lol, no one complaining about the hotel costs, no one pressuring me to take a million pix for ig when i just want to relax with no makeup, very casual clothes, my hair in 2 cornrows and flip flop on while riding bikes. and barefoot doing sunrise jogs on the beach.
 
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I’ve traveled alone internationally and felt similarly. And I’m good company and fine with doing things by myself. It’s fun to get out and do whatever you want but company makes the trip more enjoyable. I ended up restricting myself to heading back to the hotel earlier than I normally would since I was in a new city. I decided I’m not interested in any more solo travel.
 

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Omg I went through this exact thing a couple of months ago. I went to a resort like a dummy, nothing but couples. I actually cried one night. I went a lone bc of the same reasons. Message me Where do you live? Let’s plan something together.
 
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OP, I feel you 100%. Having to travel solo for work frequently for the last several years of my 20’s (prior to 2020) basically made me a fan of solo travel for leisure, at 30, as well.

I felt similar to you during a solo getaway over the holiday weekend to South Beach. I’d basically planned my solo dinner for a really nice steakhouse on the strip — but got the same pang of loneliness when I called the day of and learned they didn’t take reservations for one. Then the boredom set in — but I quickly found an alternative staying in the comfort of my expensive ass hotel.

I decided to go drink at the hotel bar and order dinner there. I got tipsy drunk and had a good time talking to other people, met a nice guy and exchanged info with him (he’s flying me out to his hometown in two weeks) — then I went back to my own suite (alone, y’all lol) and passed out.

I woke up to news of a shooting directly at that same steakhouse I was looking forward to eating at solo the night before — Da Baby was taken into custody over it and I think it ended up being one of his affiliates?

anyway. That’s my long way of saying ignore those lonely feelings because you ain’t missing out on sh!t. Boredom can always be cured with a little creativity, too.
 

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I feel stupid feeling the way I do…

I recently went on my first solo trip.
Room was amazing, scenery and place of vacation were beautiful, did an activity or 2 each day that were fun and most importantly had some amazing food.

Yet I couldn’t knock the feeling of being lonely and bored by myself on my trip.

If you knew me irl, you’d know I’m actually an ‘to myself’ type of person, circle extremely small and typically love being home in my space alone. I love it.

But… I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wish I had at least 1 person to laugh and experience this with… & no I don’t mean needing a man with me either.
& I don’t like big group trips either cuz ppl are generally annoying on group trips unorganized.

I hate that I felt like my trip would of been funnier with at least 1 friend or family to experience it with but people that I know can’t take off, have money or are UNRELIABLE when it comes to planning trip in general.
I’ve always heard about people’s experiences and how much solo tripping is raved about… and I was finally over being fearful of going on vacation by myself in terms of safety.

Has anyone else ever shared the same experience & what are your thoughts.
I still do recommend doing solo trips, all & all because of the freedom and readiness to do whatever whenever is great.
As much as people rave about solo traveling I don't think it's for everybody. I've taken afew solo trips and much prefer going with another person or two. I like having someone to share memories with. Or something as simple as having someone else to eat with so that I can samples of food outside of what I ordered. Many that rave about solo traveling talk about being able to meet other people while traveling which I've done before but that's energy I'd rather not be required to spend. Plus traveling with others can save a lot of money in the long run which lets me take extra trips. Plus saves me time and energy as we can share in the planning of the trip.
 

BritDolly

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I cant stand how they are trying to sell solo travel to black women like its the thing to do, its boring and lonely and most of these countries stare the fck out of black women why would you want to be objectified by these people? travel in groups even with your kids if you have any.
 

threattonature

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OP, that is exactly why I have not traveled alone. I like to have a companion, someone to discuss the sights, joke and eat with. When I'm home alone I fully enjoy my own company but when Im out and about I want to share that with someone, My Mom is the complete opposite, she has traveled all over the world and taken cruises by her lonesome but she is also the type to walk into a room and make instant friends. She says when she travels alone people just naturally will start talking to you but I think it depends on the person, she has always been a people magnet. I'm a weirdo magnet so yeah I cant do it. If you find the secret or solution to travel alone for quiet, shy people like me pleae let me know!
Weirdly for me I'm similar to your mom. I always think I'm scary to strangers. But anytime I've traveled solo be it a cruise or just a resort or when in a bigger group and I venture out alone to do things on my own I do always end up meeting and talking to random people. I normally hate talking to randoms but when out alone by myself it brings out that side of me and I do find myself enjoying it more. I'm just always worried about being bothersome so I'm bad about making plans with nice people I meet.
 

Cranesinthesky

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U I’d rest and OP **HUGS. Solo trips only work if you’re really comfortable being alone. I am so I love it now and never get bored TBH. I think it’s definately not for everyone.

Even some introverts don’t like solo travel I’m sure. I definitely do though, but I also make sure I communicate with family daily to let 5em know where I am, and I pack my days with activities, as well.
 

Silkky

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That is one of the reasons I'm hesitant to plan a solo trip but I know I need to get over it. My friends never want to go where I want to go and I'm tired of waiting on them. I actually feel like I'll be happier once i get this out of the way.

Do you all use Uber when you travel? I am paranoid about being kidnapped.LOL Does LSA have a solo travel group? I need pointers.lol
 

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