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Some of y'all don't know how to operate in healthy relationships

B00BooKeyS

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And it truly shows in the advice that y'all give to these fonts. I get that some fonts ( including myself) have had bad experiences with some relationships with dusty men; however some of y'all let those situations jade yourself to the point that y'all make what is supposed to be a loving union into something cold and boring with no real intimacy. When it comes to healthy relationships with a good and respectable guy/woman, its normal to be close friends, to be supportive and provide SOME type of shoulder to lean on, to be able to be vulnerable and intimate that is not always in a xesual way, to be able to dote on each other and more. I get that women, especially black women should be on the look out incase a man/woman is a whole walking red flag, but my lord y'all make relationships out to be something like a prison sentence. If you don't even like the dude who's courting you or in a relationship with you/ not even talking about your life or interests/dislikes with them, trying to connect with them once they have proven themselves worthy etc, then why are you with them in the first place? Dating should be FUN and a way to figure out yourself, especially.

I'm obviously a romantic and a believer in love LMAO but y'all get my point I've been burned in the past ( cheated on etc.) however that didn't stop me from trying to have a healthy relationship with a guy who genuinely loves me.
 

B00BooKeyS

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Some of y’all really need to allow yourself to enjoy a good relationship. You deserve it!
 

Lasana

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Women are the only ones who preach healing, therapy and self - help. Meanwhile a man will go through his whole life being toxic with ease. Come on... the jokes write themselves.....
 

B00BooKeyS

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Women are the only ones who preach healing, therapy and self - help. Meanwhile a man will go through his whole life being toxic with ease. Come on... the jokes write themselves.....
I agree but my post was towards when a woman finally gets into a healthy relationship... lol either way, if a person( male of female) is that jaded or toxic, they should be going to therapy because that could potentially bleed into other aspects of life.
 

Selina Kyle II

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I agree. It's sad to see how many people on here go into relationships looking to see what they can get out of it. Yeah, you want a good outcome (marriage, kids, being taken care of ) but what good is any of that if you hate the person that you're with or you're always looking for the other shoe to drop? Enjoy that sh!t and if it doesn't end well, learn how to move on. Stop holding onto the hurt and bitterness. It's not helping you at all.
 

LaVieBoheme

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Women are the only ones who preach healing, therapy and self - help. Meanwhile a man will go through his whole life being toxic with ease. Come on... the jokes write themselves.....

I don't think OP is advocating for toxic men. I think she's saying we need to let ourselves be emotionally healthy within a good relationship and take down some of the walls and guards we've built up, otherwise what's the purpose of being in a relationship?
 
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i don’t think all men are bad, yeah men have a higher propensity for being sh!tty generally speaking but not all are sh!tty, flawed but not sh!tty. they are a little hard to find but definitely out there.

sometimes you need to watch out who you accept relationship advice from especially online. a lot of people are unhappy or still harbor negative feelings for people they’ve dated and they can’t separate their emotions from the person asking for advice.
 

Cranesinthesky

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Not sure what this is in response to but the problem is too many women are being vulnerable, self sacrificing and emotionally open for the WRONG men. That’s an issue.

As a woman you’ll realise you lose nothing from being guarded until a man truly proves himself worth letting down your guard for.

The right man will create a safe space for you to gradually bring your walls down, and that’s what a healthy realistic shop should entail.

The issue is people on here and many women in real life entertain sh!tty men and give men who are undeserving levels of trust and respect they haven’t earned.
 

B00BooKeyS

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9D0D962B-19A8-41B0-A322-3BEF1C1842E2.gif
 

buttahpecan_

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Girl most fonts on here think you have low self esteem for even wanting to be in a relationship so you know they won’t comprehend this
 

Ankura

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Many women are just as toxic as men. They don't know how to operate in a healthy relationship because they aren't at a point in their life where they can have a healthy relationship, and many will never get to a point where they can have a healthy relationship.

A lot of people view relationships of all kinds - not just xesual relationships - as a way to get something they want or need. Not for true connections and true intimacy. Not for love.

Lots of men are trash. Lots of women are trash. Even on woman's board we have to be honest that many women aren't emotionally healthy. It's not just men that are at fault for bad relationships.
 

TGSHeaux

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I agree. Some fonts be like cheat or leave and it be over petty stuff that can be fixed. I know my problem. I’m insecure and self sabotaging. I overthink and overreact.
 

nikkiluv001

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Which is why I can't take relationship advice on here seriously. Some of these fonts need to let the baggage go before you start telling people how to live their own lives.
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Star Jones

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OP, I understand what you are saying and I agree with you're saying. But, a lot of advice is being given to people who are not describing healthy relationships.

It's not as if most fonts don't know what to do, but why give good advice for a bad relationship? As mentioned before, people are giving good intentions and great attention to people that don't deserve it.

While I get what you are saying, it is on a slippery slope of once again blaming these young women for being the major fault in their relationships, when it simply isn't true. It's their fault for forcing something with these men that they are writing about, but trying to be a faithful lover isn't wrong, in and of itself.

Even more than trying to convince these young women to learn to operate within a healthy relationship with someone else, we need to really discuss how one can be in a healthy relationship with yourself.

I am a big proponent of getting to know yourself, flaws and all, inside and out and as honestly as you possibly can. If you do that, it will be much easier having relationships with others, because you will almost instantly know who you have around you and who you shouldn't. You wouldn't even give these toxic people enough time to bring you down, because it would almost feel like an allergic reaction.
 

B00BooKeyS

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OP, I understand what you are saying and I agree with you're saying. But, a lot of advice is being given to people who are not describing healthy relationships.

It's not as if most fonts don't know what to do, but why give good advice for a bad relationship? As mentioned before, people are giving good intentions and great attention to people that don't deserve it.

While I get what you are saying, it is on a slippery slope of once again blaming these young women for being the major fault in their relationships, when it simply isn't true. It's their fault for forcing something with these men that they are writing about, but trying to be a faithful lover isn't wrong, in and of itself.

Even more than trying to convince these young women to learn to operate within a healthy relationship with someone else, we need to really discuss how one can be in a healthy relationship with yourself.

I am a big proponent of getting to know yourself, flaws and all, inside and out and as honestly as you possibly can. If you do that, it will be much easier having relationships with others, because you will almost instantly know who you have around you and who you shouldn't. You wouldn't even give these toxic people enough time to bring you down, because it would almost feel like an allergic reaction.
I also agree, i guess what I was trying to say is don’t rob yourself of your own happiness especially when that said person/object/career shows you a healthy dynamic and positive growth
 

girlyteengirl

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Many women are just as toxic as men. They don't know how to operate in a healthy relationship because they aren't at a point in their life where they can have a healthy relationship, and many will never get to a point where they can have a healthy relationship.

A lot of people view relationships of all kinds - not just xesual relationships - as a way to get something they want or need. Not for true connections and true intimacy. Not for love.

Lots of men are trash. Lots of women are trash. Even on woman's board we have to be honest that many women aren't emotionally healthy. It's not just men that are at fault for bad relationships.
I am getting there! I used to be so intertwined with unhealthy relationships because I thought that was all I ever deserved subconsciously and guiltily, I think that I enjoyed the highs and lows of the toxicity.

notice how this thread has less replies than the “my fwb just ghosted me im so hurt jeebus take the wheel” type posts? They don’t want to get better, and there’s only so much preaching that secure people can do.
 

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