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Sooo... My Husband Has A 'Pick Me' Cat...

HotDamn

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I am going to call her Hussy. I have posted about Hussy a few times. We dislike each other, but she loves my husband. She lies on me and I suspect she has tried to kill me at least once.

Background thread: Cat Farted All Over Me! Now I Can't Sleep. Anyone Else Have Pets Who Fart On Them?

For the past few weeks I have barely seen Hussy. She hasn't even been cuddling up to my husband. I mentioned that and my husband said that he has also noticed the change in her behavior.

My daughter skips into the room and says: "Hussy has a boyfriend! He comes on the patio at night, when you can't see him"

I was like:

giphy.gif


Hussy ain't shyte and she will never be shyte. How the fizzuck did she get a boyfriend? How did my daughter see this boyfriend?

Anyway... I wait until night and start looking out the windows where I can see the patio. Around eleven some disreputable looking Tom shows up and meows. Hussy comes strolling out of the azaleas and joins him on the patio. Tom starts eating out of the cats' food bowl like he lives here!

I go to the patio to let Hussy know, that I know. Tom backs away a few feet from the food bowl. That bi**h glared at me and pushed the food bowl closer to Tom! WTF?

She just gonna bring some unemployed, strange male to my house and act like she pays bills?

source.gif


I snatched up the food bowl (I left the water bowl, I am not mean) and brought it into the house.

Tomorrow I am going to try and find his owners and warn them about Hussy. Tom is trifling, but he is still better than Hussy deserves.

She is going learn about farting on me...



ETA:


[B]
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Last edited:

LadyHendrix

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You and Hussy are going to have to figure out a way to settle this. One of you has to decide who the bigger person will be. I believe in you, OP.

I think it's actually rude that you don't allow Hussy to have guests over since she's not a prisoner but a family member. The thing is, you're looking bad even with your version of things so I'm sure the truth will make you look worse.

Have a sit down conversation with Hussy and establish some boundaries. That's all you can do unless you want to push her away.
 
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Who are you, Pussy Patrol?

Let this Kitty be great, she's finally moving on and letting you have your man back, but you're complaining? Watch her hop on LSA and read you to the moon
tenor.gif
 

HotDamn

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You and Hussy are going to have to figure out a way to settle this. One of you has to decide who the bigger person will be. I believe in you, OP.

I think it's actually rude that you don't allow Hussy to have guests over since she's not a prisoner but a family member. The thing is, you're looking bad even with your version of things so I'm sure the truth will make you look worse.

Have a sit down conversation with Hussy and establish some boundaries. That's all you can do unless you want to push her away.

Hussy can have guests. She needs to feed them on her own dime.

Once you fart in a person's lap, boundaries are off the table.
 

Goodknees

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The thing is op, you are being a hater right now. You got your man, and your situation, why can't Hussy get her's too ? You did not have to embarrass her like that when she was entertaining her gentleman caller.
 

SnipYoFlap

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that good food she cooked for her man and you snatch it away from him???

How's Hussy gonna explain to him whats going on? she gave you your husband back and she didnt kill you. here you are repaying her with snatching up the food and isht.

him hungry too. all you do is walk around her house stomping on her floor, breathing Hussy's air tryna dictate thangs.

mmm hmm. Hussy got a man and you're a hater. her lil social calendar is full and here you go throwing monkey wrenches in her plans.

imma need you to calm down and mind your bidnezz when she's out on a date.


LoL
 

Pearl Shay

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Sounds like Hussy is the woman of the house. She's laid claim to the men outside and inside. lol The tom sounds like a f-boi. If it were possible, you know he'd be driving her car while she's at work. Keep us posted.
 

YANAS

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Hmmm, I hope Hussy doesn’t pop up pregnant and have you footing the bill for her, her kittens, and Tom’s ass! You gonna be buying milk & catnip watching crying ass kittens while she’s out pussyfooting around with Tom’s no good ass.

Tom didn’t even have the decency to introduce himself when he saw you! Yea, he ain’t sh!t. He’s of the American Shorthair variety ain’t he?!
 

HotDamn

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Hmmm, I hope Hussy doesn’t pop up pregnant and have you footing the bill for her, her kittens, and Tom’s ass! You gonna be buying milk & catnip watching crying ass kittens while she’s out pussyfooting around with Tom’s no good ass.

Tom didn’t even have the decency to introduce himself when he saw you! Yea, he ain’t sh!t. He’s of the American Shorthair variety ain’t he?!

Hussy is spayed!

Tom is a Shorthair. I am going to try and get a photo of them together. Tom will hide his face, because he has warrants.
 

YANAS

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Hussy is spayed!

Tom is a Shorthair. I am going to try and get a photo of them together. Tom will hide his face, because he has warrants.

Thank goodness!

My pooch (RIP) had her tubes tied (we got her from overseas) and they came undone at the ripe old age of 9! To my dismay, she popped out puppies by a Rottweiler, she liked them rough necks!

Damn animals. I feel your pain. You teach your pets better & they still go after the bums who STAY getting caught up in the pound with litters they don’t take care of.
 

sunsetbeach

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Thank goodness!

My pooch (RIP) had her tubes tied (we got her from overseas) and they came undone at the ripe old age of 9! To my dismay, she popped out puppies by a Rottweiler, she liked them rough necks!

Damn animals. I feel your pain. You teach your pets better & they still go after the bums who STAY getting caught up in the pound with litters they don’t take care of.
As in she just turned up pregnant one day?? She was in the streets hoing?
 

YANAS

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As in she just turned up pregnant one day?? She was in the streets hoing?

Yup! Crazy story.... she’d have false pregnancies with her stomach getting big and lactating (apparently it’s common in dogs who aren’t spayed, she only had her tubes tied). We took her to the vet and he said she was fine. This happened about two to three times before her actual pregnancy.

Well, one day I rub her stomach because she loved being rubbed and something moved!!!! I was shocked and started pushing on her stomach, this b!tch was actually pregnant.... a few days later she gave birth making me a grandmother at the tender age of 16.
 

sunsetbeach

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Yup! Crazy story.... she’d have false pregnancies with her stomach getting big and lactating (apparently it’s common in dogs who aren’t spayed, she only had her tubes tied). We took her to the vet and he said she was fine. This happened about two to three times before her actual pregnancy.

Well, one day I rub her stomach because she loved being rubbed and something moved!!!! I was shocked and started pushing on her stomach, this b!tch was actually pregnant.... a few days later she gave birth making me a grandmother at the tender age of 16.
Was she going on lone dog walks? Doggy day care? Like when was she by herself for this to happen? This is really something!

I love dogs but stories like this...I don't need the stress. I'm not here to raise a dog for him/her to go hoing and expect me to raise their damn b̶a̶b̶i̶e̶s̶ puppies.
 

fashionfreak

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As in she just turned up pregnant one day?? She was in the streets hoing?

These pets really be wildin in these streets. I remember when I was young my cat escaped and I found her getting her back blown out near some bushes by some mangly looking motherfµcker. I was traumatized as fµck!!!
 

YANAS

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Was she going on lone dog walks? Doggy day care? Like when was she by herself for this to happen? This is really something!

I love dogs but stories like this...I don't need the stress. I'm not here to raise a dog for him/her to go hoing and expect me to raise their damn b̶a̶b̶i̶e̶s̶ puppies.


She liked to jet out the house to hoe when she was in heat BUT that’s not how she got pregnant. My dumb ass dad brought home a Rottweiler/German Shepherd mix and he corrupted my baby. I miss her! I had to put her down last year after 15 years.

Ehhh, they’re a responsibility but if you’re a responsible pet owner you’ll be fine. Get your dog spayed or neutered.
 

Diggin da Shamy

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The thing is op, you are being a hater right now. You got your man, and your situation, why can't Hussy get her's too ? You did not have to embarrass her like that when she was entertaining her gentleman caller.

OP right tho .... that dude is broke as fµck ... he came to her house to eat. Hussy is hustling backwards. How you go from having a whole man with enough money to feed you with someone you gotta be giving your leftovers to? He should at least bring her food. Show her he can provide for her ... hussy got low self esteem.

Op she gonna pee on your sh!t now ... watch her.
 

hereandnow

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I am going to try and find his owners and warn them about Hussy. Tom is trifling, but he is still better than Hussy deserves.

OP, but the real question is are you gonna tell yo huzzband? He deserves to know who his cat really is. If you gonna be a bone carrier, carry that bone all the way home!
 

GrtGzu

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I find this to be hys-fµck!ng-sterical!!!!!

I dam near peed myself laughing so dam hard.....

glad I'm working from home today, cuz somebody mighta called "SECURITY!" on my ass if I went into the office reading this...

Edie (r.i.p.) would've enjoyed such attention and done the same sh!t, but I woulda been FLOORED as well OP...
 

LazyDaisy

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I'm really LOLing at her pushing the bowl to Tom while looking back at yo ass like what you gon' do?!

And I literally just imagined them meeting up secret, speaking in their cat language and sh!t. I cannot! [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
 

Temptress

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i'm not that fond of female cats. by her being a female she's going to lean towards the male of the house. plus male cats are much more nicer. maybe you can get yourself a male cat and it would be even.
 

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