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Tea Time: Ex Jehovah's Witnesses spill the tea about what it was like growing up as a witness

Madam Slay

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Since so many people were asking for it I started this thread for any one who grew up a Jehovah's Witness. This is a place for ex witnesses(or those trying to leave) only to talk about their experiences, trade stories, or just talk about what it was like growing up in this crazy religion. This is meant to be positive space where we support each other.

@DigitalSwan @CinnamonLeaf @oops @jdgirl @UmmRuqayyah @Virgophillygirl @IronLady
@tuonmolly @Jennio @PourItUpKy @Ridenour @miamiwanderer @LENA JAMES @The Girl Duddus

 

Probowl

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I had an ex that grew up witness and he is truly a messed up individual. He felt like he was deprived of holidays and being able to play with kids and toys. It really affected him psychologically.
 

Madam Slay

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I had an ex that grew up witness and he is truly a messed up individual. He felt like he was deprived of holidays and being able to play with kids and toys. It really affected him psychologically.

Did find dating your ex any different from dating someone who wasn't a JW? I always feel like being raised a witness influences my dating life. Like even when you don't tell people you were a witness they can tell especially when dating.
 

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Did find dating your ex any different from dating someone who wasn't a JW? I always feel like being raised a witness influences my dating life. Like even when you don't tell people you were a witness they can tell especially when dating.
His mother was a good woman but very feisty so needless to say she had 3 marriages. Her last husband was a deacon in the church but also a good man. So my ex felt he was deprived of being raised by his dad who was a Navy Seal & didn’t get to play a lot like other kids & participate in stuff I consider normal like holidays. So as a result he has psycho issues with women where he doesn’t believe in commitment & everything is a psych manipulation. It was sad because we both recognized he needed help, but it might be too late.
 

Winter

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I find a lot of the men to be very abusive.
Not sure if I can post here but I was once very close to a JW woman. She would tell me all sorts of things the men did to her and yes, they seem emotionally abusive then try to hide behind the religion and act as if they were right. I'm not sure if it is all JW men but I can attest it's all the ones that she ever met.
 

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My mom always took us to the Kingdom Hall, even though she wasn't an official member. I did the Bible study with one of her friend's daughter. The Sunday meetings were a snooze fest but I enjoyed the Watchtower meetings because they were interactive. My aunt got Baptized as one but she just did it to get access to the men.

They had nosy, messy people and drama but I didn't see anything in the Kingdom Hall that I didn't see in the Southern Baptist, Methodist, and Pentecostal churches.
 

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Not sure if I can post here but I was once very close to a JW woman. She would tell me all sorts of things the men did to her and yes, they seem emotionally abusive then try to hide behind the religion and act as if they were right. I'm not sure if it is all JW men but I can attest it's all the ones that she ever met.
I wonder what is taught that makes them abusive.
 

Diggin da Shamy

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My mom always took us to the Kingdom Hall, even though she wasn't an official member. I did the Bible study with one of her friend's daughter. The Sunday meetings were a snooze fest but I enjoyed the Watchtower meetings because they were interactive. My aunt got Baptized as one but she just did it to get access to the men.

They had nosy, messy people and drama but I didn't see anything in the Kingdom Hall that I didn't see in the Southern Baptist, Methodist, and Pentecostal churches.

This! Also lol at your aunt in these JW streets? Did she find a man tho?

I'm not even JW, but I doubt they are doing anything special to warrant a thread.

I'm pretty sure the crazy ex would have been crazy if he had toys. It has more to do with his upbringing and his father not being around vs toys. I got all the toys I could ever want and you would think I would feel super entitled to get whatever I want. No because my parents still told me how fortunate I was to get these things and I saw kids that went without.
 

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Since so many people were asking for it I started this thread for any one who grew up a Jehovah's Witness. This is a place for ex witnesses(or those trying to leave) only to talk about their experiences, trade stories, or just talk about what it was like growing up in this crazy religion. This is meant to be positive space where we support each other.

@DigitalSwan @CinnamonLeaf @oops @jdgirl @UmmRuqayyah @Virgophillygirl @IronLady
@tuonmolly @Jennio @PourItUpKy @Ridenour @miamiwanderer @LENA JAMES @The Girl Duddus



It was a nightmare chile

I walked in bethel one time and was like hell naw and got dragged for it

Told them I wanted to be a fashion designer and got DRAGGED badly for that as well..resulted in a shepherding call lmao

A prominent Elder at our congregation had a 13 year old daughter ( i was the same age)who got pregnant and they took her to get an abortion
and somebody told me and I told somebody else (gossiping )and one of the people that was told got into trouble over something else ...and Levied that information to get out of trouble and then it ended up with the brothers coming and meeting with me at my house and me confirming the rumor and that brother being disfellowshipped his kids never talked to me again and they are still Wild Bunch to this day... and he's an elder again

Was told crazy urban legends as a child...
for instance : I was told the story of a young woman who began to study with Jehovah's Witnesses but had a little collection of figurines and dolls in her house and one particular figurine I guess had dark energy or something so she was advised by one of the sisters to get rid of a particular doll.. the woman goes to a bridge, literally throws the Doll off the bridge, comes back to her apartment and the Doll she just threw off the bridge was sitting sitting right where shed just taken it from

They have a thing about false idols and figurines and that was to scare you I guess from ever having them in your home smh

*eyeroll*

I even had a girlfriend who got disFellowshipped three times : once for losing her virginity at 14

the second time for sleeping with someone's husband in the congregation

and the third time she was engaged to be married to a brother but *plottwist*
her fiance's sister was dating the guy she lost her virginity too so she had to go back and tap that and was disfellowshipped a third time

She repented or whatever got back in

by this time I left
I never got baptized ( cuz I knew I wasn't going to live up to that s***)

do you know this girl (now marrried to some other JW drunk- they drink heavily at their "gatherings")
still leaves me watch Towers and cards and crazy little notes about how she misses me but we can't be friends because I'm not at least having a study with Jehovah's Witnesses..

I've seen her at least four times and every time she stops me in the street and introduces me to her kids who get bigger and bigger every time and basically chastises me for not being in her life due to not being a believer

THEY ARE SICK


I could go on and on but I gotta go to work lol
 
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Itsmeokay

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This! Also lol at your aunt in these JW streets? Did she find a man tho?

I'm not even JW, but I doubt they are doing anything special to warrant a thread.

I'm pretty sure the crazy ex would have been crazy if he had toys. It has more to do with his upbringing and his father not being around vs toys. I got all the toys I could ever want and you would think I would feel super entitled to get whatever I want. No because my parents still told me how fortunate I was to get these things and I saw kids that went without.
Hell no. Nobody is marrying her crazy, pistol toting ass.
 

Virgophillygirl

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I'm not even JW, but I doubt they are doing anything special to warrant a thread.


I beg your uninformed pardon???


Do not minimize someone's experience because its not your own


From that statement alone you should leave this thread. Youre out of your depth honey. Seriously.

Let's us heal and you mind your business. Tf?
The nerve of you.

There are threads made here on the stupidest things but this doesn't warrant a thread because you say so? Having zero knowledge


Get your fµck!ng life.
 
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Madam Slay

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I beg your uninformed pardon???


Do not minimize someone's experience because its not your own


Fron that statement alone you should leave this thread. Youre our of your depth honey. Seriously.

Let's us heal and you mind your business. Tf?
The nerve of you.

There are thread here on the stupidest things but this doesn't warrant a thread because you say so? Having zero knowledge


Get your fµck!ng life.

This EXACTLY why I said ex witness or people trying to leave only. People are in here are talking about things they know nothing about and it's really annoying. This thread is meant to be a safe space for people to talk about their past trauma and share their experiences without judgment if you cannot respect that leave this thread.
 

Madam Slay

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This! Also lol at your aunt in these JW streets? Did she find a man tho?

I'm not even JW, but I doubt they are doing anything special to warrant a thread.

I'm pretty sure the crazy ex would have been crazy if he had toys. It has more to do with his upbringing and his father not being around vs toys. I got all the toys I could ever want and you would think I would feel super entitled to get whatever I want. No because my parents still told me how fortunate I was to get these things and I saw kids that went without.

Please don't comment on things you don't understand or haven't been a part of. It's very condescending and undermines the people who actually have need for this post. You come across has extremely naive. This isn't about toys and too many people who have no idea of what they're talking about are trying to talk for us.

We don't have Deacons in the JW faith so it makes me doubt that poster now, not that people don't get things wrong about the JW's all the time, but if you've dated one he should have at least told her that there are no deacons in our faith. To assume that there is no need for a thread for ex witness based off of one post from someone who isn't a witness is just plain stupid, and why do you care about a thread that wasn't even created for you in the first place?
 

Sally from the Valley

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I grew up around them but never joined officially.

My granny used to snitch on other members and I remember most of the men being ain't sh!t types.

I had a co worker as recently as 2017 who recently joined and as a condition of her remaining in good standing, had to confess all of her xesual "sins" to the elders.

Spiritual abuse is rampant and most of them seem to have a few screws loose.
 

Winter

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I grew up around them but never joined officially.

My granny used to snitch on other members and I remember most of the men being ain't sh!t types.

I had a co worker as recently as 2017 who recently joined and as a condition of her remaining in good standing, had to confess all of her xesual "sins" to the elders.

Spiritual abuse is rampant and most of them seem to have a few screws loose.
This is exactly what happened to a friend of mine. She was with her boyfriend and they got to messing around. These are grown adults and he asked her to do it. She went along with it and then he had a "crisis of faith". He reported her to the Elders and she faced the possibility of being disfellowshipped. She all but had a nervous breakdown over this. She told me how she was treated as she spoke to the Elders, how they asked her what she did to her man and to demonstrate with her hands, I was thinking that's shameful enough and surely not of God but she didn't care. She was so scared that they would kick her out of the church that it was pitiful. Never mind that none of this is in the Bible. Forget the fact that her man was beyond wrong for this. He did tell her about his "crisis of faith" and how he wanted to tell the Elders but then he immediately ran to them before anything could be done. Like why not get chaperoned again for the next date? Nope, too late, Elders know. This man all but destroyed her life and their relationship only got worse from there. The more trouble they got in the worse he got as he held it over her head. It was probably obvious to everyone that these people were not of God and she did not care. She didn't want to lose what she had in that church. It had just been proven that she had nothing but she didn't care. She didn't want to let go of the lie she had lived all these years. To this day she is still living that lie and trying to act as if she's happy.
 

BLKBAMBI

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This is exactly what happened to a friend of mine. She was with her boyfriend and they got to messing around. These are grown adults and he asked her to do it. She went along with it and then he had a "crisis of faith". He reported her to the Elders and she faced the possibility of being disfellowshipped. She all but had a nervous breakdown over this. She told me how she was treated as she spoke to the Elders, how they asked her what she did to her man and to demonstrate with her hands, I was thinking that's shameful enough and surely not of God but she didn't care. She was so scared that they would kick her out of the church that it was pitiful. Never mind that none of this is in the Bible. Forget the fact that her man was beyond wrong for this. He did tell her about his "crisis of faith" and how he wanted to tell the Elders but then he immediately ran to them before anything could be done. Like why not get chaperoned again for the next date? Nope, too late, Elders know. This man all but destroyed her life and their relationship only got worse from there. The more trouble they got in the worse he got as he held it over her head. It was probably obvious to everyone that these people were not of God and she did not care. She didn't want to lose what she had in that church. It had just been proven that she had nothing but she didn't care. She didn't want to let go of the lie she had lived all these years. To this day she is still living that lie and trying to act as if she's happy.

A family member was engaged to be married for real for real. No 10 year engagements and financial struggle both had good jobs. Everyone was genuinely happy for them including me. Then their fiancee told the Elders of their xesual sin. This family member got disfellowshipped, shunned, and the girl was not. He may have tried to get into good standing reinstated and whatever. But nonetheless they broke up afterwards then he got a random "worldly" white girl pregnant that he was dating only less than a few months. Of course certain family members had egg on their face!
 

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I find a lot of the men to be very abusive.

xesual deviants and pedophiles. I believe it reaches all the way up to the very top.

How do you need two witness to confirm xesual abuse or child xesual abuse has occurred? How can someone be disfellowshipped of pedophilia move to a new Kingdom Hall and start over and no one knows a thing?

It is a haven for xes predators.
 

BathtubGin

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I grew up with several...one I always thought had to be a lesbian.

What is JW stance on homosexuality?
 

Virgophillygirl

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I grew up with several...one I always thought had to be a lesbian.

What is JW stance on homosexuality?


They beleive that you can "be homosexual" but you can't "practice"

Growing up there was a super flamboyant brother in the hall who used to literally try to read me for filth before it was even a popular term lol (and I was dead seriously 12 ) who was super gay and he just never got married everybody knew, nobody cared because he was Jehovah's Witness and he was moving the material at the doors like they wanted him too, but he was never EVER allowed to rise to any position of stature within the congregation
 

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@Sally from the Valley

So did she have to go into detail about her desires?

Why would one put themselves through that.

I bet she was confessing to old men...smh

I had a co worker as recently as 2017 who recently joined and as a condition of her remaining in good standing, had to confess all of her xesual "sins" to the elders.

Spiritual abuse is rampant and most of them seem to have a few screws loose.
 

Madam Slay

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They beleive that you can "be homosexual" but you can't "practice"

Growing up there was a super flamboyant brother in the hall who used to literally try to read me for filth before it was even a popular term lol (and I was dead seriously 12 ) who was super gay and he just never got married everybody knew, nobody cared because he was Jehovah's Witness and he was moving the material at the doors like they wanted him too, but he was never EVER allowed to rise to any position of stature within the congregation

I remember my mom telling me about a brother that was in the closet. All the women who wanted to get married were super shady to him. You know how getting married was a huge priority for sisters. They were basically pissed at him because he didn't like women and tried to get him to come out of the closet every chance they got. If he would have asked one of them to marry him they would have said yes and been happy to be his beard so long as they could say they were married.
 

Sally from the Valley

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@Sally from the Valley

So did she have to go into detail about her desires?

Why would one put themselves through that.

I bet she was confessing to old men...smh

I asked her and she said it was biblical. It's what Jehovah wanted.

They prey on single black women with no support systems. Brainwashing.
 

O.o

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jehovah-witness-history-brooklyn-religion-origins-compsite-1-1.jpg


Charles Taze Russell

Jehovah's Witnesses originated as a branch of the Bible Student movement, which developed in the United States in the 1870s among followers of Christian Restorationist minister Charles Taze Russell. Bible Student missionaries were sent to England in 1881 and the first overseas branch was opened in London in 1900.
 

O.o

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I knew a girl raised in it. She was raped by her father. It's like it broke her psychologically. She has psychotic breaks on occasion and still was in contact with her father.

I know some people in it now, but they NEVER try to recruit me.

I think they target people who are ignorant about what the Bible says, so I guess I am a waste of time?

xesual deviants and pedophiles. I believe it reaches all the way up to the very top.

How do you need two witness to confirm xesual abuse or child xesual abuse has occurred? How can someone be disfellowshipped of pedophilia move to a new Kingdom Hall and start over and no one knows a thing?

It is a haven for xes predators.
 

sevenof8

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I came across this video, it is REALLY long, but very good. She details how the Witness organization failed African Americans. She did timestamps, which help.
 

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I even had a girlfriend who got disFellowshipped three times : once for losing her virginity at 14

the second time for sleeping with someone's husband in the congregation

and the third time she was engaged to be married to a brother but *plottwist*
her fiance's sister was dating the guy she lost her virginity too so she had to go back and tap that and was disfellowshipped a third time

She repented or whatever got back in

sorry but this made me laugh
 

sevenof8

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I wonder what is taught that makes them abusive.

Oh I can help with that; they literally believe and teach that women are inferior to men. In fact, on the special that Leah Remini did to showcase the issues in the JW religion- they showed a clip of a talk by a Governing Body member that said women don’t make good decisions because their skull size is smaller than men.

Yes!

A man can physically beat a woman and the elders will blame the victim. I knew a woman whose husband was not baptized, was an alcoholic and drug user and used to physically abuse the wife and her children. Finally the woman had enough and left him and was going to file for divorce - the elders told her if she divorced him they would disfellowship her and urged her to lead him back by being long suffering.

This organization treats women and children like second class citizens. Men have ALL THE POWER. I can write on this for days.
 
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I was a 3rd gen JW, both my grandfathers and my father were elders including almost all of my relatives.
I was lucky because my parents were well educated and "exposed" so they weren't as strict as other parents.

I did get baptised at 12 years though and when i finished high school at 15, moved to another country for college and university, my father had his elder privileges stripped off him.
He didn't care, all my siblings moved abroad to complete their education. I and my siblings are all out of the cult, we just became inactive and drifted and my parents still try to encourage us to come back sometimes, but they know its never happening.

Our congregation had lots of financially struggling people who could barely donate. During the building of our hall, elders would come to our house to ask for my father's contribution to finance a lot of the building works. Even when he stopped being an elder, they still continued begging.
We used to host the circuit overseer and district overseer (sometimes host them together) cos no one else would volunteer and the elders would come again to beg us to host them.
My family was able to do that because my parents got an education, good jobs and investments but they would still tell people not to pursue higher education.

P.S- The week before I left for college, the district overseer and his wife were around and spoke to me for an hour trying to convince me to go to bethel instead of pursuing an education. My mum was so mad when she found out.
 

Winter

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I think they target people who are ignorant about what the Bible says, so I guess I am a waste of time?
They do. The JW themselves are very uneducated as to the Bible. As I said in another thread I have been approached by JW multiple times and the minute I asked them to show me something via the Bible and not the Watchtower they froze up. I have actually been consulted by my JW friends to educate them as to the Bible and I asked them what sense that made when I hadn't been to church in years and they were going to church multiple times a week. From what I have heard they go over the same stories in the Bible over and over again. I'm not sure if that is true or not but they do not know anything about the Bible which makes them easy to use.
 

Madam Slay

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They do. The JW themselves are very uneducated as to the Bible. As I said in another thread I have been approached by JW multiple times and the minute I asked them to show me something via the Bible and not the Watchtower they froze up. I have actually been consulted by my JW friends to educate them as to the Bible and I asked them what sense that made when I hadn't been to church in years and they were going to church multiple times a week. From what I have heard they go over the same stories in the Bible over and over again. I'm not sure if that is true or not but they do not know anything about the Bible which makes them easy to use.

This isn't true. If there's one thing I can say for them they read the bible every year and are actually knowledgeable about the bible. I haven't gone in years and years, but I'm sure the yearly bible reading is still a thing. Every year they would assign parts of the bible to read from beginning to end. Then they would go over it during one the meetings. As a witness you were expect to know the bible.

As for the king James version they didn't read that. JW's have their own bible but iirc it's not that different from the king James version. I don't know which witness you talked to, but they should have been able to tell you about the bible because they read it quite regularly.
 

Winter

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This isn't true. If there's one thing I can say for them they read the bible every year and are actually knowledgeable about the bible. I haven't gone in years and years, but I'm sure the yearly bible reading is still a thing. Every year they would assign parts of the bible to read from beginning to end. Then they would go over it during one the meetings. As a witness you were expect to know the bible.

As for the king James version they didn't read that. JW's have their own bible but iirc it's not that different from the king James version. I don't know which witness you talked to, but they should have been able to tell you about the bible because they read it quite regularly.
I was questioned by my JW friend. I think this is actually what you're speaking on. They had to do some sort of sermon or something in church, I'm not sure what, and they couldn't remember something as simple as who built the ark. I had to educate them on all of it and they had been JW their whole life.

The next ones I spoke to were actual JW out in the field. I often spoke to them at the carts and I spoke to them when they came to my house to witness. They don't quote from the Bible at all. They quote from the Watchtower. I asked them to show me where whatever they are saying is in the Bible and they go silent.

Besides that if they were actually knowledgeable as to the Bible they wouldn't be JW. A perfect example is my friend whom was drug by the congregation and Elders. She thought they were acting as per the Bible. She wanted to believe but did she take the time to look it up? No she didn't. The whole practice of disfellowshipping isn't Biblical. She was about to be disfellowshipped on a lie. If the person is unrepentant that's one thing but she was very much repentant. Not only that her man played her for an entire fool and dangled it over her head. He was all but laughing at her talking about the sin they had almost committed and how they should get married just to appease the church as he verbally abused her and messed with her head whenever they talked. You want to tell me that's Godly? He did nothing Biblical. She didn't know jack about the Bible so she couldn't call their bluff. I did. She was too chicken to go toe to toe with the Elders. I would have if I were there but I have nothing to lose as I'm not JW. Besides that I'm very sure they know of me anyway because she has said they don't like her speaking with me. I told her the rules as per the Bible. I proved it using both KJV and NLT and what was her concern? Leaving the religion. Her concern was not God. Her concern was not that these people were not of God and were doing whatever they wanted to her. Her concern was that they were about to shun her. Gossiping? Firmly against the Bible. She knew they were gossiping about her. She was now known as promiscuous in the church despite only doing things with her man and it being his idea. She was only trying to make her man happy for crying out loud. This was none of their business to begin with but instead of confronting him they threaten her with putting her out of the church? I ask again what part of this is Biblical?

None of that is Biblical. So I'm sorry but we can agree to disagree on this. They do not know the Bible and when they are educated they don't care. I'm a Christian that studied religions for fun. It was actually my Minor in college and I spent an entire semester studying JW including going to Kingdom Hall. The first thing I learned is that most of them do not know a thing about their religion. They do not know the Bible. At most they know a few verses and that is it.
 

Madam Slay

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I was questioned by my JW friend. I think this is actually what you're speaking on. They had to do some sort of sermon or something in church, I'm not sure what, and they couldn't remember something as simple as who built the ark. I had to educate them on all of it and they had been JW their whole life.

The next ones I spoke to were actual JW out in the field. I often spoke to them at the carts and I spoke to them when they came to my house to witness. They don't quote from the Bible at all. They quote from the Watchtower. I asked them to show me where whatever they are saying is in the Bible and they go silent.

Besides that if they were actually knowledgeable as to the Bible they wouldn't be JW. A perfect example is my friend whom was drug by the congregation and Elders. She thought they were acting as per the Bible. She wanted to believe but did she take the time to look it up? No she didn't. The whole practice of disfellowshipping isn't Biblical. She was about to be disfellowshipped on a lie. If the person is unrepentant that's one thing but she was very much repentant. Not only that her man played her for an entire fool and dangled it over her head. He was all but laughing at her talking about the sin they had almost committed and how they should get married just to appease the church as he verbally abused her and messed with her head whenever they talked. You want to tell me that's Godly? He did nothing Biblical. She didn't know jack about the Bible so she couldn't call their bluff. I did. She was too chicken to go toe to toe with the Elders. I would have if I were there but I have nothing to lose as I'm not JW. Besides that I'm very sure they know of me anyway because she has said they don't like her speaking with me. I told her the rules as per the Bible. I proved it using both KJV and NLT and what was her concern? Leaving the religion. Her concern was not God. Her concern was not that these people were not of God and were doing whatever they wanted to her. Her concern was that they were about to shun her. Gossiping? Firmly against the Bible. She knew they were gossiping about her. She was now known as promiscuous in the church despite only doing things with her man and it being his idea. She was only trying to make her man happy for crying out loud. This was none of their business to begin with but instead of confronting him they threaten her with putting her out of the church? I ask again what part of this is Biblical?

None of that is Biblical. So I'm sorry but we can agree to disagree on this. They do not know the Bible and when they are educated they don't care. I'm a Christian that studied religions for fun. It was actually my Minor in college and I spent an entire semester studying JW including going to Kingdom Hall. The first thing I learned is that most of them do not know a thing about their religion. They do not know the Bible. At most they know a few verses and that is it.

Why are people in this thread who aren't witnesses so intent on telling people who were actually witnesses about witnesses? There are plenty of other religions that read the bible and don't go by biblical principles. Like every single christian that voted for Trump, and I can assure you that some of them are very knowable about the bible.

I don't what witnesses you've been talking but they bring bibles with them out in field services and quote from the bible when out in field service. They literally conduct BIBLE STUDIES, so there is nothing to agree to disagree on JW's do use the bible and they do read the bible.

Go into any Kingdom hall and you will see quotes from the bible written on the walls. They hand out bibles in congregations and as I've said they have yearly bible readings. You can not dispute all of this just because you spoke to a few witnesses who didn't know the bible. In every religion you will have that, but to say they don't quote the bible is a lie. To say that if you talked to a witness and they couldn't quote the bible and only the watchtower is a lie.

I don't know what witness wouldn't know about the ark when not only do they read about that in the bible but they have several publications on that. Trust and believe me when I say there are several witnesses that know the bible inside and out and use that knowledge as a badge of honor because they can out scripture and out bible people.

I'm not saying that they don't go against or twist what is in the bible, because they do, but so do a lot if not most religions that are out there. That's one of my problems with the JW's they want to act as if they are better than every other religion out there but at the end of the day they are no better and oftentimes much worse. My problem with you post is you act like JW's don't read the bible at home or the Kingdom hall and I'm telling you that they do.
 
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