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Texting selfies or pictures of yourself....constantly

BossladyMAED

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Just curious to know what you think about people who text you Good Morning! with a picture of them (either selfie or one you can tell they said here take my phone and take this picture of me sitting here smiling into the camera) CONSTANTLY

I get this a lot from my mother.

We have a rocky relationship.

I actively avoid her.... and she knows this. I choose peace of mind and I just cannot deal with her.

I asked her years ago to NOT send me pictures of her. She feigned hurt by my request and will stop but weeks or months later she goes right back to sending pictures of herself. All the time.

Her selfies are always of her face smiling in various positions or when she is dressed up for church- I can just see her asking people to take her picture.

Why?

I don't hardly EVER comment on the picture.

I say good morning back. That is it.

Or I will say a bland nice and slam my phone down.

I just don't get it.

I am trying soooooo hard not to be rude or snap at her but she just doesn't get it.

All images are deleted and hardly looked at.

Grrrrrrrrr
 

GigiLaMoore

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It's annoying, attention seeking and screams major insecurity. Just keep answering how you answer. That's all you can do other than blocking her.
 
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I find people like this to be VERY annoying. The people who have to take a pic every single moment. Like gahhhhdamn I just wanna eat lunch, I don’t wanna take a photo for IG! Anyone who says that social media hasn’t increased the narcissism in us all are living under a rock.
 

BoujeeBae

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This may not be the answer you're looking for but she's your mother OP for crying out loud.

Maybe she's bored and need someone to talk to. Regardless of your relationship, you should be happy she's awake and still sends you good morning texts.

Just say good morning, complement her(if you want to) and keep it moving. No need to make a big deal out of it. SMH.
 

stewpeas

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This may not be the answer you're looking for but she's your mother OP for crying out loud.

Maybe she's bored and need someone to talk to. Regardless of your relationship, you should be happy she's awake and still sends you good morning texts.

Just say good morning, complement her(if you want to) and keep it moving. No need to make a big deal out of it. SMH.
OP just stated that they have a rocky relationship. Unless OP tells us more, why tell them to be happy that their parent that they have a rocky relationship with is texting them regularly with selfies? I’d be annoyed too.
 

BoujeeBae

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OP just stated that they have a rocky relationship. Unless OP tells us more, why tell them to be happy that their parent that they have a rocky relationship with is texting them regularly with selfies? I’d be annoyed too.

Yes they have a rocky relationship
according to the Op but its just selfies and a good morning text. What's the harm in that?

Why would you be annoyed tho? You either reply, ignore or block them. No need to make a big deal out of it. It ain't that serious.
 

ALLOFTHIS

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FBs love to send GM texts and random selfies in their cars. Like, WTF are you suppose to say? Men taking selfies bothers me.
 

IreadTea247

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I had to block my mom...she wouldn’t send the pics but she would message and call me nonstop and if i miss her call she would message me until i responded...my mother is very toxic and manipulative and she preyed on my people pleasing...i finally got the strength to block her out of my life!
 

BossladyMAED

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It's annoying, attention seeking and screams major insecurity. Just keep answering how you answer. That's all you can do other than blocking her.
Yes. She has to be constantly praised for everything.

For

Everything


Her cooking (she decided to start cooking food in her 60 so now each item must be praised for how delicious it is) ((I don't eat her cooking, she sends me pictures))

Her clothes

Her jewelry

Her sobriety

Her job

Her condo

Her furniture

Her face

Her hair

Her clean clothes when she washes them

etc

etc


It is so draining I can barely have conversations with her.
 

BossladyMAED

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OP just stated that they have a rocky relationship. Unless OP tells us more, why tell them to be happy that their parent that they have a rocky relationship with is texting them regularly with selfies? I’d be annoyed too.
Thank you. Some people just don't get it.
 

BossladyMAED

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Yes they have a rocky relationship
according to the Op but its just selfies and a good morning text. What's the harm in that?

Why would you be annoyed tho? You either reply, ignore or block them. No need to make a big deal out of it. It ain't that serious.S
Yes. GM texts, good afternoon texts, good night texts.....all with selfies of her.

What does saying hello to someone have to do with sending a selfie???

Or I will get....isn't the weather nice ____ insert selfie here.

Any short phrase you can think of accompanied with a selfie.

After I had a melt down a few years ago and asked her to NOT send me so many pictures of herself.

But I get that you don't really understand, thanks for commenting! It is all good, I post for different opinions and reactions.
 

DonnaH73

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Lol I cringe every time someone complains about harmless things their families do. How I see it your family especially your mom, will not always be here and the photos she sends you now will be memories when she’s gone. My parents piss me off and I don’t always get along with them, but I can’t imagine being this upset with them or any family member for constantly sending photos. If anything I’d just send a quick little response and go about my day.
 

BossladyMAED

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The kicker is....the other day she got her hair done and naturally sent the look at me text to my phone.

When my husband came home he said sigh, you mother sent me another picture of her today.

I said, I know. I got one too.


It really is sad.
 

SageDew

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My mother sends a daily text like this to a group chat she has with my siblings and I. She includes a cheesy gif, bitmoji, or pic if she feeling herself and it's perfectly fine. None of us live in the same city so, it's just a daily text to check in. Sometime we reply "good morning" to it, sometimes we just throw an emoji in there just to let each other know we're present, sometimes we don't say anything at all.
 

BoujeeBae

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Yes. GM texts, good afternoon texts, good night texts.....all with selfies of her.

What does saying hello to someone have to do with sending a selfie???

Or I will get....isn't the weather nice ____ insert selfie here.

Any short phrase you can think of accompanied with a selfie.

After I had a melt down a few years ago and asked her to NOT send me so many pictures of herself.

But I get that you don't really understand, thanks for commenting! It is all good, I post for different opinions and reactions.


Clearly it is bothering you and you don't like it.

Maybe block or put her on ignore then. You deserve your peace.
 
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Yes. GM texts, good afternoon texts, good night texts.....all with selfies of her.

What does saying hello to someone have to do with sending a selfie???

Or I will get....isn't the weather nice ____ insert selfie here.

Any short phrase you can think of accompanied with a selfie.

After I had a melt down a few years ago and asked her to NOT send me so many pictures of herself.

But I get that you don't really understand, thanks for commenting! It is all good, I post for different opinions and reactions.
I'm always pleased with individuals who set boundaries with toxic family members because it's a really hard thing to do. Tell her again that you would appreciate her not sending selfies on a daily basis. She's only doing it because she knows she's been a problematic parent to you and needs you to reassure that's she's not. Not your responsibility.
 

BossladyMAED

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My mother sends a daily text like this to a group chat she has with my siblings and I. She includes a cheesy gif, bitmoji, or pic if she feeling herself and it's perfectly fine. None of us live in the same city so, it's just a daily text to check in. Sometime we reply "good morning" to it, sometimes we just throw an emoji in there just to let each other know we're present, sometimes we don't say anything at all.
And I totally get that. That makes sense and I am also getting a feel for the tight knit family group you are a part of. Beautiful & I love to see it!

THAT is not the case here. LOL

But thanks for sharing!
 

BossladyMAED

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I'm always pleased with individuals who set boundaries with toxic family members because it's a really hard thing to do. Tell her again that you would appreciate her not sending selfies on a daily basis. She's only doing it because she knows she's been a problematic parent to you and needs you to reassure that's she's not. Not your responsibility.
Thank you and YES that is exactly it.

The problem is superficial looks into a situation may show something harmless.....THIS is not harmless and if you were to dig deep you would fine nothing but trauma, neglect & abuse spanning over 30 years.

The pictures are so triggering to me.

Because they are so false.
 

charr23

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Op I think your mom is lonely. I don't know if she is a nice person or not but maybe she doesn't have any close friendships to share these things with. She is seeking for validation/companionship or potentially supply. Im curious despite how you feel if you engage with her about her hobbies and going-about does she ask about you and your life ? Or does she just want your praise and when she receives it she doesn't ask about you and disappears until she needs her next wave of praise? If she is the latter then its not good and I suggest low/ no-contact but if she does want to know about you and your well being then she might be looking for a friend in you. This might be her way of sending you an olive branch to rebuild a broken relationship.
 

IreadTea247

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Lol I cringe every time someone complains about harmless things their families do. How I see it your family especially your mom, will not always be here and the photos she sends you now will be memories when she’s gone. My parents piss me off and I don’t always get along with them, but I can’t imagine being this upset with them or any family member for constantly sending photos. If anything I’d just send a quick little response and go about my day.
But you don’t know what goes on in others families...a lot of ppl grew up in abusive and trauma filled childhoods...that’s great you have a good relationship with ur family...that’s not the case for everyone
 

BossladyMAED

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Op I think your mom is lonely. I don't know if she is a nice person or not but maybe she doesn't have any close friendships to share these things with. She is seeking for validation/companionship or potentially supply. Im curious despite how you feel if you engage with her about her hobbies and going-about does she ask about you and your life ? Or does she just want your praise and when she receives it she doesn't ask about you and disappears until she needs her next wave of praise? If she is the latter then its not good and I suggest low/ no-contact but if she does want to know about you and your well being then she might be looking for a friend in you. This might be her way of sending you an olive branch to rebuild a broken relationship.
You are right. She does claim to be lonely even though she is always the life the party and has a large group of friends. She definitely wants to rebuild a relationship with me. I think as she has aged, she sees her older friends/church friends interacting with their family members and she wants that for us.

I don't.

I can't be around her or even talk to her on the phone for long.

It is triggering and traumatizing for me.

I feel awful but I also feel at peace when I don't have to see or talk to her.

It is a struggle. But ultimately as I entered my 40s I just decided to choose me and choose peace of mind.
 

brownfx2

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You are right. She does claim to be lonely even though she is always the life the party and has a large group of friends. She definitely wants to rebuild a relationship with me. I think as she has aged, she sees her older friends/church friends interacting with their family members and she wants that for us.

I don't.

I can't be around her or even talk to her on the phone for long.

It is triggering and traumatizing for me.

I feel awful but I also feel at peace when I don't have to see or talk to her.

It is a struggle. But ultimately as I entered my 40s I just decided to choose me and choose peace of mind.
I'm sorry for u OP. it's really hard because it's ur mom. U can't block her and she probably won't stop because she's older, set in her ways and doesn't understand how it triggers the past trauma or why she's even doing it.

Not sure of ur faith, but pray, meditate for inner peace regarding ur mom. Me, personally being African American I call on my ancestors for strength, peace and protection through all things. They watch over us, just have to connect with them. I wish u peace!
 

TheQueen

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Just saying maybe I should be grateful my mom doesn't know how to operate a cellphone. She's in her 80s and refuses to learn. Op why don't you just temporarily block your mom at least for your sanity.
 

charr23

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You are right. She does claim to be lonely even though she is always the life the party and has a large group of friends. She definitely wants to rebuild a relationship with me. I think as she has aged, she sees her older friends/church friends interacting with their family members and she wants that for us.

I don't.

I can't be around her or even talk to her on the phone for long.

It is triggering and traumatizing for me.

I feel awful but I also feel at peace when I don't have to see or talk to her.

It is a struggle. But ultimately as I entered my 40s I just decided to choose me and choose peace of mind.
OP I understand, my mom is showing signs of this. While she doesn't want a real relationship she definitely wants to mimic what she sees her friends have with their children. The things is I am now an adult and I don't want to/have to play along. I refuse and so she acts like I don't exist 99% of the time. She does have my younger siblings who financially rely on her whom she can still use for now but they are reaching adulthood/financial independence soon so I wonder what she will do then.

I truly understand that guilt/peace you struggle with. Perhaps see if you can find a professional who can guide you on how to have a relationship with your mom on your terms. Only if you are ready and it you want to. I think it will help you in the long run too as it might be healing for you. If your mom is just a person who made mistakes and now sees her mistakes she will have a relationship on your terms. No matter how inconvenient they are for her. But if her attempts are for show she will kick up a fuss and you can leave her alone.
 

OMGee

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I hate the whole selfie culture. And those "send me a pic" guys, they are exhausting. I usually end up blocking them.
 

bright22

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I find people like this to be VERY annoying. The people who have to take a pic every single moment. Like gahhhhdamn I just wanna eat lunch, I don’t wanna take a photo for IG! Anyone who says that social media hasn’t increased the narcissism in us all are living under a rock.
They're extremely annoying. And the ones I know get pissed at you when you don't want to take a picture. Like I don't have to take a fµck!ng picture if I don't want to.
 

SocaPrincess

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You’re being willfully obtuse. If her and her mother don’t have the most solid relationship why must OP be happy about her mother doing something she knows annoys her (OP)?
Yes they have a rocky relationship
according to the Op but its just selfies and a good morning text. What's the harm in that?

Why would you be annoyed tho? You either reply, ignore or block them. No need to make a big deal out of it. It ain't that serious.
 

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