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The king of hobosexual werewolves needs more love on BSA

cuntie

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Can we talk about how the King of all Werewolves and Hobosexuals is being disrespected right now? I know I showed outrage about Lucius being taken for granted but really - Remus is a proud hobosexual werewolf who would blow out your back to get access to your wallet and a place to sleep at night! It has been well researched and documented that hobosexuals and Werewolves lay down the most toxic and demonic pipe that leaves women unable to think or walk properly for days...imagine mixing that toxic hobosexual with that demonic werewolf. You get the unholy wand (10.5 inches btw) of Remus Lupin who is considered the King of all Werewolves and Hobosexuals! After years of hobosexual healing, he knows how to channel the power of werewolf into his stroke game to leave you busted out. Do you really think Tonks would take care of a hobosexual werewolf without testing out that wand first? He busted down her wide-set vagina (passed down from the Black family - I heard Bellatrix has the widest one! :pensive:) and made her see the moonlight! Remus knocked her up then made her Patronus go from a jack rabbit to wolf within a matter of months of hooking up! He laid down some demonic wand that even Tonks (a known dick eater) couldn't handle all that, she got trapped out here... let's pour out a 40 ounce for her. Guarantee if Remus laid down something on Bellatrix she would've forgotten about Voldie's basilisk for at least five seconds (three seconds longer than usual)

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In the Harry Potter: Older Stan Poll, people decided to ignore the King of Hobosexual Werewolves?? People are stanning for Dumbledore even though we made threads saying he's a messy bottom ---what?? Snape, I can understand but no love for Remus?!
1. Snape, Half-Blood Prince, good with his hands, potionsmaster, double spy, hates children, the best catch, has hoes mad, biggest wand, hated for his success, better than you, successful wizard, isn't broke (probably), greasy hair but we don't care, has a thirst thread unlike your fave, proud Slytherin, master of occulmency and legilimency, has a job unlike some people (Potions Hive holding it down - 24 votes)
2. Sirius, Former Azkaban inmate, has an OnlyWands account since he can't get a regular job, lives at his momma house (21 votes)
3. Kingsley Shacklebolt, better than everyone on the list but we won't speak on that (12 votes)
3. Albus Dumbledore, a messy gay man who sends galleons to Grindelward's Azkaban commissary account, might get his body snatched in Colombia before Grindelwald gets out of Azkaban so he can look like Draya for him, headmaster of a ghetto ass school (Dumbledore might need his own thirst thread since even xes gods like Arthur and Hagrid didn't make top 4 - 12 votes)
5. Remus, the hobosexual werewolf himself (7 votes)


I can understand why BSA favorites like Arthur Weasley and Hagrid have already gotten thirst/appreciation threads for them...after all look at them but it's Remus's turn let's give him some love!
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Remus is a good man, he just had a rough life in a discriminatory world where people hate werewolves! All he needs is a strong, independent witch who will hold him down until he gets a job in this hating ass world.
  • He wants to borrow your broomstick to fly around smoking weed and accidentally bumping into trees and being spotted by muggles get a job
  • He wants to borrow some Galleons to buy something for Sirius (his prison inmate friend who wants to join in on a threesome - will you let him join?) or a hoe from Hufflepuff buy new robes to look presentable at job interviews
  • He wants to sleep at your house because he has nowhere else to be so he can protect and hold you at night
  • He wants to get married in one month of marriage because he wants a permanent household knows you are the one for him
  • He wants to hold your purse when you guys out so we can have quick access to your Galleons your gentle shoulders can get a little rest for taking care of your hobosexual werewolf man

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Remus looks so fine in this gif - someone once said they know he fucks better when it's closer to the full moon and I want to believe

Okay but for real...Remus is a good guy who just had a bad life. He was targeted by Fenrir Greyback (who likes to assault and turn children into werewolves) just because his father said something he didn't like. I know people drag Remus for being a bully but really he was a bystander to Sirius, James, and Ugly Rat's bullying, not an active bully with them. It's not that better but in his defense, the Maurader's were actually great friends to him since they were willing to make his transition into being a werewolf every full moon easier/happier plus he thought if he went against them, they would expose him as a werewolf which would end his school career at Hogwarts if the Ministry found out. He was a teen who didn't really have a backbone for himself since he was used to being alone and tormented by being a werewolf. After Hogwarts, he struggled for years to find stable work since the wizarding world hated and feared werewolves. Since most werewolves couldn't afford Wolfsbanes potion because of expensive ingredients and it required a lot of skill to create, werewolves just had to suffer every full moon and become dangers to themselves and others. Werewolves had no choice to live with this disease like they were second-class citizens just because Fenrir Greyback and his gang were crazy lunatics who went around killing, harming, and turning everyone into werewolves like them. Remus was also Harry's best teacher and he really did deserve better than to die without being able to raise his son. Also, Tonks deserved better too!

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screena

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You can't trust Remus because he is a deadbeat who had to be shamed into taking care of his wife and children, but your post got me reconsidering...Especially when you mentioned that wand size...

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cuntie

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You can't trust Remus because he is a deadbeat who had to be shamed into taking care of his wife and children, but your post got me reconsidering...Especially when you mentioned that wand size...

tumblr_oiyykjqVuY1vm1k7ho1_250.gifv

Look at Tonks dickmatized face in that gif when she looks at her bum ass hobosexual werewolf, every day she leaves her house with a wet ass and empty purse from Remus stealing galleons for some crazy Diagon Alley weed (that he won't share).

Sis, don't do it! Just letting a hobosexual werewolf hit once is enough to keep them in your life for a few months. He'll move in after one night then you will found out his ass sold some of your furniture to buy himself some wack ass loafers the next day. I love Tonks but she probably doesn't know/understand her man wanted to take a cross country road trip with some teenagers instead of staying with her.
 

screena

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Look at Tonks dickmatized face in that gif when she looks at her bum ass hobosexual werewolf, every day she leaves her house with a wet ass and empty purse from Remus stealing galleons for some crazy Diagon Alley weed (that he won't share).

Sis, don't do it! Just letting a hobosexual werewolf hit once is enough to keep them in your life for a few months. He'll move in after one night then you will found out his ass sold some of your furniture to buy himself some wack ass loafers the next day. I love Tonks but she probably doesn't know/understand her man wanted to take a cross country road trip with some teenagers instead of staying with her.

We got to go easy on Tonks. You know the fumes from that Wolfsbane potion she had to make every month probably affected her brain.
 

cuntie

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We got to go easy on Tonks. You know the fumes from that Wolfsbane potion she had to make every month probably affected her brain.
Let's pray for her to get well soon! I would hate to see her become the Princess of all Pick-Mes underneath Molly. Molly did invite Tonks over for dinner often so she could make Bill fall for Tonks and break up his engagement, maybe Molly planted the seeds that would make Tonks a bird. Molly told her good dick and love was better than financial security and generational wealth in a relationship - Arthur agreed.

Molly seeing Tonks letting her hobosexual werewolf move into her house and eat all her food after three hours of dating in the name of love
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Caremel44

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So y’all started early early today. I wish someone would’ve told Tonks about him because if they were both living he would’ve been MIA and left her with the baby. Y’all keep thirsting for these ain’t sh!t dudes at Hogworts. Y’all finna have to drop the kids off at Molly’s house while working two jobs.
 
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La Rona

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Sorry but Remus ain't s#$%!






But I would let him destroy me on one wild full moon night. Sneaking back home with dirt on my back and leaves in my weave.
 

Yona Hiryuu

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..................................................................................................

95e7900c-09de-45e4-83e8-52709a45e206


.................First Hagrid then Professor Flitwick now this?? There are no words..........

Btw it doesn’t matter how big Remus’s dick is you know he smells like a musty unwashed dog.
 

screena

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..................................................................................................

95e7900c-09de-45e4-83e8-52709a45e206


.................First Hagrid then Professor Flitwick now this?? There are no words..........

Btw it doesn’t matter how big Remus’s dick is you know he smells like a musty unwashed dog.

That’s not dog you smell. It’s animal magnetism.

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FitAfroGirl

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YAAAAASSSSSS. I have been waiting for this. Where is Sirius Black to stand up for his man??? Y'all, Remus is not an ordinary hobosexual werewolf who had a hard life...he was also separated from his lover Sirius Black for 12 years?? He had no choice but to be hobosexual as he had no where to live once Sirius ended up in Azkaban. And even despite believing themselves to be traitors, they made up really fast because the S-X-E is straight animalistic between those two (on the real, I would have been furious with my friends for thinking I was the traitor...)...come to think of it, Remus forgave Sirius very quickly too with the "prank." So yeah, Remus is the worst type of hobosexual, because he leaves you dickmatized and wants to ditch you because he is in love with his dead lover.

Molly is such a pick-me queen-encouraging Tonks to chase her dead cousin's lover....Remus ain't ish. He settled for the Black he could get after Sirius passed away. smdh. Remus wild though...it's always the quiet ones (remember he planned a lot of pranks and rarely got caught,,,,hmmm)
 

Voldemort

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A round of applause for everyone's favorite werewolf.

tumblr_m38a1x8ZdV1r1osgto1_500.gifv


Now let me share this theory about why Remus became a hobosexual.

giphy.gif


According to this page:

"Remus failed to find employment following his education because of his affliction as a werewolf. However, James used his wealth to financially support him"

See this? He was a bum but being taken care of by his sugar daddy.

78fa1676d038b98b36b0ef4df1fc9df8a311cee0.gifv


Prongs (the original Tonks) was paying his bills and keeping him fed but something happened.

"By the height of the war, Remus' friend Sirius Black had come to distrust him, suspecting that he might be a spy for the other side."

Sirius turned into a hater because as much as people like to ship him with Remus, he was crazy about James and saw Remus as a threat unlike that loser Peter.

tumblr_p9n1hx4Gak1r19909o1_500.gifv


Of couse James enjoyed being the center of attention until he realized that Remus was also a threat to him.

"Lily was not on good terms with two of Remus' dearest friends, James and Sirius, but that did not mean she disliked Remus as well, given that he acted more mature and thoughtful than his friends, and did not participate in their bullying though he did nothing to stop them either. "

Lily didn't have problems with Remus back in school and was willing to share the Potter bag with him for a reason...

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To quote Remus on Lily:

"You know the very first time I saw you, Harry, I recognized you immediately. Not by your scar, by your eyes. They're your mother, Lily's. Yes, oh yes. I knew her. Your mother was there for me at a time when no one else was. Not only was she a singularly gifted witch, she was also an uncommonly kind woman. She had a way of seeing the beauty in others even more perhaps. Most especially when that person couldn't see it in themselves."

They were fµck!ng, plain and simple.

68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f5878514b386b67726177657962513d3d2d3837323933323139372e3136303937396266396631623837613438313235353838303732362e676966


This made both James and Sirius insecure so they chose Peter over him as Secret-Keeper. Remus was too charming and they couldn't compete with his werewolf stamina, which is why he ended up as a hobosexual once the rat went Judas on everybody.
 
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Voldemort

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Look at him acting cute even though he can tear someone's clothes apart and give them a concussion while doing them against a wall. He needs to be locked up for everyone's safety and I volunteer my room for it.

Y’all finna have to drop the kids off at Molly’s house while working two jobs.

Molly every full moon

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screena

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Look at him acting cute even though he can tear someone's clothes apart and give them a concussion while doing them against a wall. He needs to be locked up for everyone's safety and I volunteer my room for it.



Molly every full moon

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This is a perfect example of why I shouldn’t be reading this sh!t at work.

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cuntie

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So y’all started early early today. I wish someone would’ve told Tonks about him because if they were both living he would’ve been MIA and left her with the baby. Y’all keep thirsting for these ain’t sh!t dudes at Hogworts. Y’all finna have to drop the kids off at Molly’s house while working two jobs.

You tell them! Every font who wants to play around with Sirius Black must want wizarding dog fleas because Sirius had to do certain things in jail for Azkaban commissary change since Remus broke ass kept stealing his current girlfriend of the day's galleons to buy himself Burlington Coat Factory suits. If we're being honest Tonk isn't the housewife type her mother would've raised those kids herself while Tonks is running around trying to see why Remus keeps trying to sell her couch for expensive xes toys he won't let her use.

Remus will leave y'all high and dry (but wet where it counts according to Tonks + Sirius) but if that's what you want that whatever to me. I won't bully these girls too hard if they haven't joined the Potions Hive yet they just won't be saved in this lifetime...wishing y'all the best!
 

cuntie

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A round of applause for everyone's favorite werewolf.

tumblr_m38a1x8ZdV1r1osgto1_500.gifv


Now let me share this theory about why Remus became a hobosexual.

giphy.gif


According to this page:

"Remus failed to find employment following his education because of his affliction as a werewolf. However, James used his wealth to financially support him"

See this? He was a bum but being taken care of by his sugar daddy.

78fa1676d038b98b36b0ef4df1fc9df8a311cee0.gifv


Prongs (the original Tonks) was paying his bills and keeping him fed but something happened.

"By the height of the war, Remus' friend Sirius Black had come to distrust him, suspecting that he might be a spy for the other side."

Sirius turned into a hater because as much as people like to ship him with Remus, he was crazy about James and saw Remus as a threat unlike that loser Peter.

tumblr_p9n1hx4Gak1r19909o1_500.gifv


Of couse James enjoyed being the center of attention until he realized that Remus was also a threat to him.

"Lily was not on good terms with two of Remus' dearest friends, James and Sirius, but that did not mean she disliked Remus as well, given that he acted more mature and thoughtful than his friends, and did not participate in their bullying though he did nothing to stop them either. "

Lily didn't have problems with Remus back in school and was willing to share the Potter bag with him for a reason...

07a781e7939fe38748c4ea719c921707.gif


To quote Remus on Lily:

"You know the very first time I saw you, Harry, I recognized you immediately. Not by your scar, by your eyes. They're your mother, Lily's. Yes, oh yes. I knew her. Your mother was there for me at a time when no one else was. Not only was she a singularly gifted witch, she was also an uncommonly kind woman. She had a way of seeing the beauty in others even more perhaps. Most especially when that person couldn't see it in themselves."

They were fµck!ng, plain and simple.

68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f5878514b386b67726177657962513d3d2d3837323933323139372e3136303937396266396631623837613438313235353838303732362e676966


This made both James and Sirius insecure so they chose Peter over him as Secret-Keeper. Remus was too charming and they couldn't compete with his werewolf stamina, which is why he ended up as a hobosexual once the rat went Judas on everybody.

Ohhh noooo...I hope Harry never runs across Remus' Pensieve...he'll look inside thinking he will see happy memories of Remus, Sirius, and his parents hanging out with each other. He thinks he'll see some sweet memories that Remus and Sirius forgot to tell him. He looks inside to see his dead daddy getting his bussy tore up by his favorite bum ass DADA teacher back in the day! I'll pray for Harry! There are some things JK has set up but she knows haters don't want to hear about Remus selling wand for that Potter fortune before James' death but BSA already knows!
 

cuntie

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Look at him acting cute even though he can tear someone's clothes apart and give them a concussion while doing them against a wall. He needs to be locked up for everyone's safety and I volunteer my room for it.



Molly every full moon

11-best-wolf-dog-breeds.gif

I'm glad you say that Remus needs to be locked up and kept in a cell. He's a menace to big bank accounts and women everywhere. You better keep your eyes on your purse though...count your money three times a day and don't leave the room without it either. You might have to do this to Remus a few times

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Molly isn't even Tonks mother but she will still poke her head into Tonks business and tell her to have enough kids for one Quidditch team so she can be surrounded with love or some sh!t. Molly is like that one lady who hears you say you only want one kid and tells you that you need to open your heart to seventeen more kids.
 

Voldemort

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Ohhh noooo...I hope Harry never runs across Remus' Pensieve...he'll look inside thinking he will see happy memories of Remus, Sirius, and his parents hanging out with each other. He thinks he'll see some sweet memories that Remus and Sirius forgot to tell him. He looks inside to see his dead daddy getting his bussy tore up by his favorite bum ass DADA teacher back in the day! I'll pray for Harry! There are some things JK has set up but she knows haters don't want to hear about Remus selling wand for that Potter fortune before James' death but BSA already knows!

Tonks' mom Andromeda has been keeping those memories under lock and key since the war ended but she probably watches them every now and then when she's alone at home.

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But Harry's too curious for his own good so he's going to use his invisibilty cloak to steal the memories at some point and get traumatized with Ron while Hermione finally confirms her suspicions.

H4DO.gif


Molly is like that one lady who hears you say you only want one kid and tells you that you need to open your heart to seventeen more kids.

Molly will watch you struggle with a demon possessed baby screaming as if someone is performing an exorcism on them and tell you that every child is a blessing.

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cuntie

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Tonks' mom Andromeda has been keeping those memories under lock and key since the war ended but she probably watches them every now and then when she's alone at home.

giphy.gif


But Harry's too curious for his own good so he's going to use his invisibilty cloak to steal the memories at some point and get traumatized with Ron while Hermione finally confirms her suspicions.

H4DO.gif




Molly will watch you struggle with a demon possessed baby screaming as if someone is performing an exorcism on them and tell you that every child is a blessing.

AcidicPaltryBrahmancow-max-1mb.gif

Harry would be in a deep depression for a few months. You can't just unsee your father getting his bussy smashed to smithereens and just live a normal life afterwards...you just don't! He would try to summon the spirits of Remus, Lily, and James to let them know that he thinks they are deviants with loose bussies

Hermoine gets a rude awakening when she realizes her childhood sweetheart is a fellow hobosexual like Remus, her whole core would shake because hobosexuals are meant to be good in bed but Ron is a thirty-second man and doesn't like giving foreplay! She could've married a successful man like Viktor Krum but here she is taking care of the King of Section 8 Gaslighters and dealing with his momma, Queen of Broke Pick-Mes who judges her for not taking care of Ron's needs more. Don't let Molly ever hear a mother saying how she needs a break from her kids, Molly would call CPS and tell them the mother just murdered all her kids.

Molly calling CPS on Hermoine when she says that she needs to break from Ron's gaslighting ass and her annoying ass kids
giphy.gif
 

Voldemort

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He would try to summon the spirits of Remus, Lily, and James to let them know that he thinks they are deviants with loose bussies

main-qimg-94bd3acc920ee47326abf7f11855e66b


Harry: I summoned you here again to tell you something important.
Lily: Tell us anything, sweetheart.
Harry: I saw Remus' memories from the first war.
Remus: Oh sh!t.
Harry on the verge of tears: Dad, did you enjoy that?
Sirius: You can tell him, we're dead anyway.
James: Damn right I did, son.

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Hermoine gets a rude awakening when she realizes her childhood sweetheart is a fellow hobosexual like Remus, her whole core would shake because hobosexuals are meant to be good in bed but Ron is a thirty-second man and doesn't like giving foreplay!

Thirty seconds and without foreplay?! Catch Hermione at the graveyard trying to bring back her old DADA teacher to replace Ron right after her awakening.

Frm3.gif


Desperate times call for desperate measures!
 

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