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The "You Date White Guys" Look

PeacefullyMe

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ETA: Some how this thread has turned into multiple spinoffs. I see folks are just out to trend and not have an actual discussion. eeksad

I didn't realize there was a look. Or maybe it's just the things that interest me. I've had a few ppl in the recent years tell me that I look like I date white men and apparently, exclusively. LOL!

Not true, btw.

This especially sounded the alarm when my ex's mom asked if I even dated black men when she was setting me up with her son. LOL!

What is this look? Or is it my demeanor?

Something tells me I've always had this look and it's the main reason black men might have shied away from me when I was in high school/college and beyond. I believe white guys were equally intimidated by me for different reasons. So I got very little play from both sides...LOL! :::sigh:::
 
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KarenKing

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tumblr_o3ndjn0ecT1rlafseo1_400.gifv
 

GreenVeggies

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It means you have crunchy hair, dry lips, ugly clothes, etc. It's not a compliment. I got nothing against the swirlie swirl as I've been down that lane a-many times but if somebody's saying that they mean you're corny and awkward in the most unpleasant way.

CYIXkWGjF4n0XVi9m8HeyqWSy73CeTynqmPWC-vzcX4.jpg
 

Divakim89

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I've been told this too but its usually by my actions, morals etc. They assume if you don't take bµllsh!t and have standards and talk proper you must like white men. I've been told this mainly by black men too which is odd. Like they must have their standards set so low for black women that when they see one acting well mannered, articulate with standards...its like a taboo. The funny thing is most black women are like this...maybe that's why most of us are struggling finding a partner.
 

HenryBemis

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My best friend in high school said that to me and we didn't even live around or interact with white people at the time. I assumed she said it because I was wack. It ended up being true, and I do date out quite a bit. I am, admittedly, still wack af. Back then that isht low-key hurt my feelings :cautious::ROFLMAO:

FYI: All my friends were intelligent and spoke standard English, so it had nothing to do with me 'talking like a white person' or other nonsense. Of all my friends, I was the most socially awkward and skinny/flat-@ssed.
 

S91Reign

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Even being considered a "high-maintenance" woman you can still get the you date white guys thing. When you have expectations, standards and aren't afraid to enforce them some people equate that to white or other.
 

S91Reign

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Otherwise it's also the aesthetic of black women with horrible weaves, "white-washed" personalities, and those who are always in white spaces are usually the type this can also be referred to.
 

Feitan

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I don’t thing there’s a specific look. However, black women who lean more alternative may date white guys more because of their circle.
 

NoOneSpec

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I've been told this too but its usually by my actions, morals etc. They assume if you don't take bµllsh!t and have standards and talk proper you must like white men. I've been told this mainly by black men too which is odd. Like they must have their standards set so low for black women that when they see one acting well mannered, articulate with standards...its like a taboo. The funny thing is most black women are like this...maybe that's why most of us are struggling finding a partner.

I had an older Black man tell me this: "You act like a white woman." smh
 

Morticia A

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Im a lil hood now but when I was white white washed, I think I would've got this title too!

Hell, mugs was even calling me a white girl in a black girls body..
 
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I didn't realize there was a look. Or maybe it's just the things that interest me. I've had a few ppl in the recent years tell me that I look like I date white men and apparently, exclusively. LOL!

Not true, btw.

This especially sounded the alarm when my ex's mom asked if I even dated black men when she was setting me up with her son. LOL!

What is this look? Or is it my demeanor?

Something tells me I've always had this look and it's the main reason black men might have shied away from me when I was in high school/college and beyond. I believe white guys were equally intimidated by me for different reasons. So I got very little play from both sides...LOL! :::sigh:::
In general, there is not a specific look. I was told that I looked like I only date white men after I told a black man that I don't sleep with men on the first date, only doing it well into the relationship and don't deal with men who have baby mothers. Mind you this was a well to do man in DC. I was also told by a relative "how am I supposed to believe you date black men" because I said I only date men with degrees. Although it is funny to laugh at the stereotypes of what these women look like, I think it is also scary how that term is sometimes used to gaslight black women who don't want to put up with nonsense antics. On the other side of the saying, it makes other black women think they need to put up with nonsense or they are "white", in the trance of being race loyal.
 
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yung.bae

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I was told that I looked like I only date white men after I told a black man that I don't sleep with men on the first date, only doing it well into the relationship and don't deal with men who have baby mothers. Mind you this was a well to do man in DC. I was also told by a relative "how am I supposed to believe you date black men" because I said I only date men with degrees

Black men can be so embarrassing. He doesn't even realize he's dragging himself with this comment. However it's just him confirming the open secret... most black men are not dateable/eligible for marriage.
 

DolceDiva

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It can mean different things to different people. I had a BM tell me I look like the WM type because I exercise a lot. Smh. What?

I had another BW tell me I looked like I date WM because I have expensive taste. Weird sh!t. My point is people bring their own baggage into it when they say things like this.
 

Lexonfiyah

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Them hoes was lying to you, they wasnt dating they was strictly fµck!ng
Nah they was dating and in full blown relationships with black guys lol. Just like you could see a Black guy with a white girlfriend and he could have an edge up or not seem corny as hell.
 

Lalelulu

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My friend got told the same thing. I don't think it's her demeanor, I always thought it's about her body. She has the typical runner's figure. Quite delicate and she is really pretty. She is slim has long legs, and for her body fitting size of boobs and butt. She wears her hair natural most of the time. I don't want to play to stereotypes, but I have always felt people say that more often to slimmer black women that are not as curvy. As soon as they see a black woman that's curvy they seem to think that she wouldn't date white at all. Well, or so I have noticed. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right. But this is what I observed.
 

Cutie Kay

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I used to get told this all the time in high school lmao. I think it has something to do with you how you come across. I talk very proper (some people may say “white”) and so people automatically think I date white boys.
 

kxverse

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Sounds like light negging. I could realistic understand someone hinting at a lack of AAVE in your dialect being some sort of tell... but "look"? In 2021?

Honestly, there really isn’t a look. There isn’t even a look for Black guys who date White girls anymore.
This. Sample size is too big now to make assumptions.

People alternate from claiming only LSBW and biracial women with loose textured hair date/marry out... To only the skinny, earthy/ hippie DSBW with natural 4C... and more recently, only BW with bad weave/ fried relaxed hair.

So which is it?




I've seen BW of all aforementioned groups with BM. ALL the wiggy-wigs and fried leave out I see on the regular can't be going home to WM. Statistically improbable.

Also, it's funny when BW mock bad weave and atribute it to BW IR when some BM literally call weave hair hats and demonize it, slayed and laid or not. I saw a BW on Twitter saying, "you can always tell by the hair" about a BW with a white husband and a BM commented to her, "you have a hair hat on too though, so lets talk about it"... THE IRONY.

People (even fellow BW unfortunately) want to perpetuate the notion that BW who happen to have non-black partners are somehow less attractive and inferior, even if they have to fixate on one tiny thing like hair. If we aren't giving BM our bodies, energy and ego boosts... a lot of y'all feel that a BW is nothing and deserves to be mistreated and mocked.

All this haughtiness has nothing to do with being anti-IR/ pro-black. These people just have a complete lack of respect for BW if it's not benefiting or validating themselves personally and/or BM.

All of these women are married to WM (third is engaged):







All from different backgrounds, all from varied social classes, different ages, completely different vibes. Should I link some LSBW and biracials... because people will play dumb like LSBW don't only make up like 15-20% of the collective and start claiming it's only "d@rkies" dating out if I don't... :rolleyes:
 

Loeny

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Petite, fine facial features and natural hair( before the so called natural hair movement when it became a trend).
 

pickle

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most are natural, but for others a common symptom of Black lady who dates white guys is wearing leaveout that doesn't match the weave

similar to the image on the left

maxresdefault.jpg
 

chineke

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lol that hair stereotype is funny to me cos I see black women with bad weaves/wigs and the so-called fried hair married to and dating black men all the time. These black women hang around black people too.
 

Suchababe

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I definitely don't look like Cadence. I take good care of my hair and it's natural lol. That's an insult for sure.

the black girls I have seen white men with have been natural haired, natural faced, and skinny. Plain Jane types.
 

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