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Where is your Dad?

JasperFlags

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I teach high school. Every year, I seem to get this recurring question from certain students. "Ms. Jasper, do you have a husband?" Or, "Ms. Jasper do you have children.?" One child wished me happy Mother's Day. Before I could answer back, she said "Oh Ms. Jasper I did not know, you didn't have children." Y'all yes she did. I have answered this question multiple times before. It is sometimes asked over and over again by the same children. I once thought this was an innocent inquiry. Most kids ask about their teacher's marital status. Now I am starting to believe, these children are trying to insult me.

Today, these football players who skipped my entire class, asked the same question. This little girl, I'd been having trouble with, laughed under her breath. I answered the question as usual. "No, I do not have a husband." I don't have kids, so I don't have a husband. No big deal right? Or at least I didn't think it was a big deal.

I teach in a Title I school. Anyone, who has ever worked in these situations will tell you at risk teens can be brutal. They're good a finding things that really bother you. However, this never bothered me, until they began to make an issue out of it.

Every time, I access the call log, to contact a parent, I rarely see any fathers listed on the log. So my question to them is, why are you so worried about me? If a father is listed, they either don't live with the child or, they are not active in the child's life.

The same little girl who thought it was so funny I didn't have a husband, didn't have a dad listed in her contacts. As a matter of fact, I had to ask her, "What is your mom's last name." She had a different last name from her mother. I often have to do this, because calling the mom by her child's last name can be insulting.

Every time these children ask me, "Are you married?" I want to reply "Is your mother married? If your mother is married, is she married to YOUR dad? Nine times out of ten the answer would be no.



Just a vent.
 
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AmusedByIdiocy

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Girl, ask them and put them in their place. You’ll being too nice to these little terrorists. Like the other font saying they negging her about her appearance. Two good, hard insults to shut them down and you can establish discipline.

Trinis say play wid puppy, puppy lick yuh mouth. Don’t play with these fatherless little children. They shouldn’t be in your personal business anyway.

And I’d do it slick. Like vocabulary word of the day: “bastard”. Sociology/social studies lesson: broken homes. fµck them up technically.

Doh say I didn’t tell yuh...
 
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I thought this was gonna end with OP roasting the kids talking about you dont have a dad.

I sadly was here for it because I worked in a bad ass school before and I slipped up every now and again because children are annoying.

Sorry, OP, fµck dem kids.
 

JasperFlags

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Girl, ask them and put them in their place. You’ll being too nice to these little terrorists. Like the other font saying they negging her about her appearance. Two good, hard insults to shut them down and you can establish discipline.

Trinis say play wid puppy, puppy lick yuh mouth. Don’t play with these fatherless little children. They shouldn’t be in your personal business anyway.

And I’d do it slick. Like vocabulary word of the day: “bastard”. Sociology/social studies lesson: broken homes. fµck them up technically.

Doh say I didn’t tell yuh...

Girl, I really want to tell them the TRUTH about themselves. Back in the day, when they'd tell "Yo Mama" jokes, you laughed them off. You knew your mother wasn't a hoe. You knew your mother was decent woman for the most part. These kids' moms are really whores. They're on drugs. A lot of them are dead. I have so many kids with deceased parents. I started to tell them none of your business. However, if I did that it they'd know, they're aggravating me.

I need a really shady way of putting them in their places with this logic. Girl help me.
 
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JasperFlags

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They are definitely trying you

I think so too. It is recurring and sometimes asked by the same kids. It use to be, "Mrs. Jasper do you have children?" I guess they think it is bad to be childless. I don't know why? The very reason their mothers' are in poverty, is because they have children out of wedlock. Isn't there some data between single parents and poverty? I know one thing, their moms have not done a good job raising them. Which goes to show, anyone can produce a child.
 
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Klear Kov

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I think so too. It is recurring and sometimes asked by the same kids. It use to be, "Mrs. Jasper do you have children?" I guess they think it is bad to be childless. I don't know why? The very reason their mothers' are in poverty, is because they have children out of wedlock. Isn't their some data between single parents and poverty. I know one thing, their moms have not done a good job raising them. Which goes to show, anyone can produce a child.
fµck them badass bastards. They aint ever gonna be sh!t. They will follow in the footsteps of their ho drugged up mamas & their absent jailbird daddies. Just laugh at them & say life is great, better than they will ever see
 

MissEsoteric

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As an adult, you just have to feel pity for them and be the bigger person. There’s nothing wrong with not having a husband or children, but there is something wrong with not having a father present, so there’s no reason for you to be bothered.

I know this may suck, but fatherless children aren’t the ones to be blamed for not having fathers in their lives. If you put them in check for something that is their fault, that’s one thing, but the father question is a low blow and very unbecoming of an adult leader to say. Also, whose to say that some of these students don’t have a father because he passed away? And to attack one student for not having a father is to attack them all, including the ones who aren’t being defiant.
 

JasperFlags

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As an adult, you just have to feel pity for them and be the bigger person. There’s nothing wrong with not having a husband or children, but there is something wrong with not having a father present, so there’s no reason for you to be bothered.

I know this may suck, but fatherless children aren’t the ones to be blamed for not having fathers in their lives. If you put them in check for something that is their fault, that’s one thing, but the father question is a low blow and very unbecoming of an adult leader to say. Also, whose to say that some of these students don’t have a father because he passed away? And to attack one student for not having a father is to attack them all, including the ones who aren’t being defiant.

True, I was just thinking about a little girl I'd offend. YET, I believe that people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. One thing I've learned about these kids, is sadly you can't be nice to some of them. I know teachers who curse them out on the regular, but those teachers are respected by the students. Go figure. There was this former alumnus of the school, fairly young woman, who is now tell me, "With these kids, you have to be really, really, really mean to them. For some reason when you're mean, they love you for it."

And I have some people who don't like my font lurking this thread. I am generally very respectful to my kids.

In the beginning their comments rarely bothered me. I knew, they were at a disadvantage. Now, I am starting to lose patience.
 

Mrs. Lindo

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I really wish I could let you have my job for a semester. Starting from the fall to now. Your whole comment would change.
I have teachers in my immediate family so I've heard plenty of stories. I just feel some kind of way about kids being talked about like this
 

JasperFlags

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I have teachers in my immediate family so I've heard plenty of stories. I just feel some kind of way about kids being talked about like this

I heard stories too. We have similar backgrounds. It wasn't until I had first hand experience, that I really understood though.
 

online

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fµck them badass bastards. They aint ever gonna be sh!t. They will follow in the footsteps of their ho drugged up mamas & their absent jailbird daddies. Just laugh at them & say life is great, better than they will ever see
Well damn
 
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I’m crazy, so caveat emptor and all that.
Once upon a time I taught 5th grade. When asked anything that was uncomfortable or inappropriate, I would respond with a ridiculous or fantastical story.
Miss InigoMontoya, why don’t you have kids? Because I traded the ability to have kids for magic beans.
How much do you weigh?
I weigh 5 pounds on the planet Mylar.
How much is 5 pounds on the planet Mylar?
It’s 6.82 hydra-juules.
What I’m saying is
deflect, deflect, deflect. Of course you can use your imagination to come up with your own ridiculousness. Good luck. Have fun but obviously don’t say anything that could get yourself fired.
 

DoubleOhh

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It sounds to me like they may have some kinda inside joke going on about you. Maybe ask them why does it matter when they ask.
 

Rochelle Dionna

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Im disappointed by this question. First, why do you care what kids say and laugh about? You really getting in your feelings about some high schoolers?? This is bad as a teacher. Secondly, why do the students know anything about you? Please keep your private life private. I know the kids and husband thing comes up, but just say no and keep it moving. No need to engage kids in this kind of conversation. And if you want follow the other font and make up crazy and wild stories. It works. How do I know, I use to teach in one if the worse school in NJ. Kids wouldnt try me like that, and if they did, who cares. You are clearly at the advantage. Shrug it off. But don't ever go back and forth with insults with a student. Never do this. I hope things get better for you.
 

Rochelle Dionna

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fµck them badass bastards. They aint ever gonna be sh!t. They will follow in the footsteps of their ho drugged up mamas & their absent jailbird daddies. Just laugh at them & say life is great, better than they will ever see
I hope you're not a teacher.
 

Yonce PR

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I teach high school. Every year, I seem to get this recurring question from certain students. "Ms. Jasper, do you have a husband?" Or, "Ms. Jasper do you have children.?" One child wished me happy Mother's Day. Before I could answer back, she said "Oh Ms. Jasper I did not know, you didn't have children." Y'all yes she did. I have answered this question multiple times before. It is sometimes asked over and over again by the same children. I once thought this was an innocent inquiry. Most kids ask about their teacher's marital status. Now I am starting to believe, these children are trying to insult me.

Today, these football players who skipped my entire class, asked the same question. This little girl, I'd been having trouble with, laughed under her breath. I answered the question as usual. "No, I do not have a husband." I don't have kids, so I don't have a husband. No big deal right? Or at least I didn't think it was a big deal.

I teach in a Title I school. Anyone, who has ever worked in these situations will tell you at risk teens can be brutal. They're good a finding things that really bother you. However, this never bothered me, until they began to make an issue out of it.

Every time, I access the call log, to contact a parent, I rarely see any fathers listed on the log. So my question to them is, why are you so worried about me? If a father is listed, they either don't live with the child or, they are not active in the child's life.

The same little girl who thought it was so funny I didn't have a husband, didn't have a dad listed in her contacts. As a matter of fact, I had to ask her, "What is your mom's last name." She had a different last name from her mother. I often have to do this, because calling the mom by her child's last name can be insulting.

Every time these children ask me, "Are you married?" I want to reply "Is your mother married? If your mother is married, is she married to YOUR dad? Nine times out of ten the answer would be no.



Just a vent.

OP do you have an update on what you decided to do?
 

JasperFlags

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Im disappointed by this question. First, why do you care what kids say and laugh about? You really getting in your feelings about some high schoolers?? This is bad as a teacher. Secondly, why do the students know anything about you? Please keep your private life private. I know the kids and husband thing comes up, but just say no and keep it moving. No need to engage kids in this kind of conversation. And if you want follow the other font and make up crazy and wild stories. It works. How do I know, I use to teach in one if the worse school in NJ. Kids wouldnt try me like that, and if they did, who cares. You are clearly at the advantage. Shrug it off. But don't ever go back and forth with insults with a student. Never do this. I hope things get better for you.


Question why are you not teaching anymore? Second, the kids try everyone in everyway. Teachers who say "The kids wouldn't try me that way." are lying. They try everyone.

Questions about marriage and kids come up all the time. That is not allowing the students into my private life. Allowing them into my private life would be discussing a live in boyfriend, why I don't have kids and etc. When they ask the question "Ms. Jasper do you have kids?" I answer with a simple no. Saying it is none of your business is abnormal and would only make the situation worse, because it implies that I'm keeping a secret or ashamed of something. We don't go further into my personal life. Please don't imply that I allow kids to cross boundaries. I do not.
 

kittycatcult

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You could say something like hell no. Working here is birth control or something along those lines. And like the other poster said just come up with crazy answers. They can probably smell your frustrations and are picking at it.
 

Rorre

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Ain't sh!t kids raised by ain't sh!t mothers. ADOS think it's so cute to mock childfree women or women who have cats and they don't even know how to spell FATHER.
 

ms_svelte

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Ain't sh!t kids raised by ain't sh!t mothers. ADOS think it's so cute to mock childfree women or women who have cats and they don't even know how to spell FATHER.

it takes one to know one.

everyone didnt grow up in the ghetto like you.

almost everyone ADOS child i knew had a father.

but of course your jealousy wont let you comprehend that.

smh...how you lonely AND ratchet?

sad

re: op

what mentally stable adult crawls up in their feelings over comments by CHILDREN?

none.

you arent fit to teach.
 

DryHumor

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Misery loves company. They're upset about their own family dynamics and projecting that onto you, which isn't fair.
 

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