White friend is attached to me and steals and copies my ideas

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She’s a narcissist! Better start planning your escape now

If you’re not familiar with them and how they work better do some homework because she’s is going to try to fuck up your life at all costs.

Get firm boundaries. Learn about narcissist. They are across all genders, races, etc. They purposely try to destroy good people. They are beyond envious and you have no idea how sick they really are. Get away from her now.
 
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“I remember within the first week of knowing her she told me how she was engaged before (she's only 26) and how she was raped and abused in her other relationships.”

^ This is a huge red flag. I learned the hard way when I was young to never befriend anyone who is an over-sharer. People who quickly share their past traumas are inevitably clingy and difficult. It should have taken her months to tell you all of this. Your best bet is to distance yourself from her as much as possible. When you have to be around her as unemotional and unwelcoming as possible. Don’t engage in any drama!
 
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I had an associate like that in law school, Latina girl. When I applied for moot court and was accepted and she denied, she said to me, "your legal writing sample wasn't even long enough, how did they decide that?!" She went as far as to make comments about other black classmates and how they weren't smart enough to make moot court. She then went to the professor for moot court to discuss with him why she wasn't selected and how she felt "cheated." After all of that failed, she dropped out. I never returned her emails or calls the day she question how I was selected.

That white girl is not your friend. Stop hanging around her and block her from social media. Period. No need for pleasantries.
I actually froze her out at one point and then she started to text/call me to ask if I was mad at her. Then she would have some sob story. The Asian girl lived with her in the summer and she told me she would do the exact same thing to her - that one time she was sad because she was missing her family in Asia and the white girl didn't even bother comforting her and went out to party, but whenever she (the white girl) is feeling stressed or anxious, she expects others to be there for her on a whim.

I remember at a certain point a year ago she suggested that we should be roommates after we finish up our program and start our careers but there's obviously no way in h**** I'd do that now
 
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I don't understand what's stopping you from blocking her on all platforms and moving on with your life.
You let a flame turn into a forest fire, but there's still an opportunity to snuff it out. Be cordial but extremely distant from here on out. Don't answer no questions, smile at her when you see her, and keep. it. moving.

I noticed you said the magic words: "I knew something was off in the very beginning but..." You're in grad school which means that the time for childish naiveté about people/human nature is long past. Let this whole experience be a lesson to you. When it comes to relationships with men, women, white people, black people, aliens, whoever, really listen to what your intuition is telling you. You need to make sure you never say the magic words again.
 
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Also, don’t talk about her to anyone else in real life. You can’t trust them not to tell her what you’ve said. When you are around her, use the gray rock method:
One strategy for dealing with a narcissist or sociopath is to act like a “gray rock,” meaning that you become uninteresting and unresponsive. Using the Gray Rock method, your objective is to make someone lose interest in you. You don't feed their needs for drama or attention.
 
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I don't understand what's stopping you from blocking her on all platforms and moving on with your life.
You let a candle turn into a forest fire, but there's still an opportunity to snuff it out. Be cordial but extremely distant from here on out. Don't answer no questions, smile at her when you see her, and keep. it. moving.

I noticed you said the magic words: "I knew something was off in the very beginning but..." You're in grad school which means that the time for childish naiveté about people/human nature is long past. Let this whole experience be a lesson to you. When it comes to relationships with men, women, white people, black people, aliens, whoever, really listen to what your intuition is telling you. You need to make sure you never say the magic words again.
You're right. Honestly at the time I thought since we were both new to the city maybe this was just a quirky friend I'd make during my studies. Definitely a learning experience. I can't block her because I have group projects that I need to work on with her related to school and volunteer activities
 
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I do that but she has me on LinkedIn so she follows my job updates
Is there not a way to adjust your privacy settings on Linkedin to where only employers see your profile? This is getting to the point to where she is messing up your reputation which can cause problems for your personal and professional life. You need to cut her off and cut off all contact from her.
 
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1619221261718.gif


Reads first sentence of OP’s comment

Your first mistake was befriending a white girl.

Continues on with the rest of OP’s story

1619221276615.gif
 
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I started thinking that she was lying or stretching the truth a few months ago. I found it weird how she was telling her traumas to people she barely knew and I began to notice how much she would beg people for compliments e.g. telling her how smart and accomplished she is. Her parents are southern European immigrants and she grew up lower-middle class, while I grew up upper-middle class. I think that makes her insecure and I have a strong feeling that she's been trying to search up my parents salaries or find info on my family. Once I finish my program, I'm done with her.
Why wait until then?!.....I agree with all the fonts on her, get rid now! You don't owe her a lengthy explanation, just block & keep it moving!
 
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So I'm in my final year of grad school and last year I became good friends with a white girl in my program. I thought she was nice, but I also felt like something about her was a little off too. I remember within the first week of knowing her she told me how she was engaged before (she's only 26) and how she was raped and abused in her other relationships. At the time I didn't think too much of this, but it also made me feel weird because I barely knew her at that point and she was already giving me too much info.

One aspect of my master's program is participating in an internship and you have to apply to be accepted into the internship program based on your grades. I was accepted into the program while she was waitlisted (this was a month into school) and I remember when people in our program were happily sharing how they got into the internship program but when I told her I was accepted she didn't look happy for me at all. She actually looked pretty upset and surprised I got in. I noticed that very quickly she claimed me as her best friend which I brushed off at first because she was new in town and I thought maybe she wanted to make friends but then it started to get weird. I felt like she tried to isolate me from other classmates and always appeared shocked when I would get opportunities or make other friends. The stupid thing was that she would be making other friends too but would always exclude me from hangouts or group activities. The majority of people in my program including myself are new to the city so it kind of bugged me.

I noticed that she would always try to spy on me and ask me what I was up to, where I was going, and what my plans were. Then she would copy those plans (but would never invite me when she was with other classmates). I think early in the friendship I mentioned one of my lifelong dreams was to create a community development foundation in the future and then a few months later she told me she was planning on creating a social justice foundation with a few classmates, and she would be the president of it. She would also get really quiet when a professor would like my ideas in class - as if she didn't expect it.

I decided to stop telling her certain things because I found her off putting but then a classmate (who's Asian) told me in confidence that my white friend has been telling her my business - the fact that I had a bad breakup, that I didn't get along with my roommates, and the fact my employer at my internship was planning on hiring me. My Asian classmate told me she is telling me this because she found it uncomfortable when the white girl was telling her all my business. My Asian classmate also told me the white girl would spy on her too, and would get upset when the Asian girl (an international student) would get opportunities, and was very needy and manipulative. My Asian classmate said she is keeping her distance from the white girl after seeing her for who she truly is.

I've decided to keep my distance from the white girl but she is so clingy and needy I don't know how. She makes everything into a competition even the most miniscule things. She's admitted to me she has low self esteem and doubts herself a lot but I don't think that's an excuse to be a weirdo to people. It's also annoying because she has a lot of good things going for herself already, so I don't know why she's like this
She sounds very insecure. The best thing you could do is continue to keep your distance and be selective with what you tell her. Friends should be happy for your achievements and stable people don't copy others for validation.
 
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So I'm in my final year of grad school and last year I became good friends with a white girl in my program. I thought she was nice, but I also felt like something about her was a little off too. I remember within the first week of knowing her she told me how she was engaged before (she's only 26) and how she was raped and abused in her other relationships. At the time I didn't think too much of this, but it also made me feel weird because I barely knew her at that point and she was already giving me too much info.

One aspect of my master's program is participating in an internship and you have to apply to be accepted into the internship program based on your grades. I was accepted into the program while she was waitlisted (this was a month into school) and I remember when people in our program were happily sharing how they got into the internship program but when I told her I was accepted she didn't look happy for me at all. She actually looked pretty upset and surprised I got in. I noticed that very quickly she claimed me as her best friend which I brushed off at first because she was new in town and I thought maybe she wanted to make friends but then it started to get weird. I felt like she tried to isolate me from other classmates and always appeared shocked when I would get opportunities or make other friends. The stupid thing was that she would be making other friends too but would always exclude me from hangouts or group activities. The majority of people in my program including myself are new to the city so it kind of bugged me.

I noticed that she would always try to spy on me and ask me what I was up to, where I was going, and what my plans were. Then she would copy those plans (but would never invite me when she was with other classmates). I think early in the friendship I mentioned one of my lifelong dreams was to create a community development foundation in the future and then a few months later she told me she was planning on creating a social justice foundation with a few classmates, and she would be the president of it. She would also get really quiet when a professor would like my ideas in class - as if she didn't expect it.

I decided to stop telling her certain things because I found her off putting but then a classmate (who's Asian) told me in confidence that my white friend has been telling her my business - the fact that I had a bad breakup, that I didn't get along with my roommates, and the fact my employer at my internship was planning on hiring me. My Asian classmate told me she is telling me this because she found it uncomfortable when the white girl was telling her all my business. My Asian classmate also told me the white girl would spy on her too, and would get upset when the Asian girl (an international student) would get opportunities, and was very needy and manipulative. My Asian classmate said she is keeping her distance from the white girl after seeing her for who she truly is.

I've decided to keep my distance from the white girl but she is so clingy and needy I don't know how. She makes everything into a competition even the most miniscule things. She's admitted to me she has low self esteem and doubts herself a lot but I don't think that's an excuse to be a weirdo to people. It's also annoying because she has a lot of good things going for herself already, so I don't know why she's like this
Holy shit, I'm not trying to derail but I am having this same issue with a needy possibly mentally ill yt coworker. Even down to her trying to isolate me from other coworkers by talking about how they are racist( which I'm now beginning to think she is making up because all the circumstances just seem outlandish. It all just seems like a ploy to isolate me and show how ~woke~ her haggard ass is because that's the only thing she can cling to. Mind you this lady is like 20 yrs older than me. She is so unhinged.

Clingy, liberal, mentally ill white women act very weird with minorities. Idk how to phrase it but they act entitled to us. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this schitt op.
 
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We need a thread just based off of this alone. The weirdo ones stay trying to attach themselves to black women. I'm so sick of these low vibrational, coddled wenches.
Yeah I have to admit, the yt women who've befriended me were all very off. They were very insecure, their eating habits were terrible, some were addicted to drugs and/or alcohol, they could never keep a man, and they've said sus things about people of color. I have yet to meet a yt woman who didn't meet one or more of this criteria.
 
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This woman is trying to get close to you in order to distract you (in a negative way) because she sees you are succeeding. She also sees you as a stepping stone to getting ahead in her education because you are achieving. This is why she’s clinging on to you and copying you.
This is exactly the vibe I got. This white girl expects you to be a side character/sidekick in her life. Ask me how I know? White supremacy is so prevalent they don’t even realize what they’re doing.
 
You kept Beating Me Down; Still, I Stand!
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Yeah I have to admit, the yt women who've befriended me were all very off. They were very insecure, their eating habits were terrible, some were addicted to drugs and/or alcohol, they could never keep a man, and they've said sus things about people of color. I have yet to meet a yt woman who didn't meet one or more of this criteria.
A lot of times white women really can’t find acceptance and/or friendships with their own. So, they try to align themselves with black women. They become aggressive and pushy towards us, trying to make you feel as if you have to embrace them into your world. I guess they feel that we have to put up with them since they feel they are superior to us. I say, “leave their asses out there alone”. Just because other white people rejected you and didn’t want you, that doesn’t mean I have to scoop you up and bring you into me life. I don’t owe you shit!
 
You kept Beating Me Down; Still, I Stand!
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This is exactly the vibe I got. This white girl expects you to be a side character/sidekick in her life. Ask me how I know? White supremacy is so prevalent they don’t even realize what they’re doing.
Plus, they think that black people are so stupid. So, when they try to cling on to you, you are supposed to feel so honored and good ( this is how they view it) that you will not figure out that they have a sneaky agenda (trying to get close in order to use you).
 
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A lot of times white women really can’t find acceptance and/or friendships with their own. So, they try to align themselves with black women. They become aggressive and pushy towards us, trying to make you feel as if you have to embrace them into your world. I guess they feel that we have to put up with them since they feel they are superior to us. I say, “leave their asses out there alone”. Just because other white people rejected you and didn’t want you, that doesn’t mean I have to scoop you up and bring you into me life. I don’t owe you shit!
Yup, I noticed that the yt girls who try to befriend black women either have trouble trying to fit in with other white girls due to social awkwardness and mental illness, they're fat, or they just treat people like crap. Could be all of the above. No thanks.
 
You kept Beating Me Down; Still, I Stand!
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Yup, I noticed that the yt girls who try to befriend black women either have trouble trying to fit in with other white girls due to social awkwardness and mental illness, they're fat, or they just treat people like crap. Could be all of the above. No thanks.
Yes. You just nailed it!
 
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Holy shit, I'm not trying to derail but I am having this same issue with a needy possibly mentally ill yt coworker. Even down to her trying to isolate me from other coworkers by talking about how they are racist( which I'm now beginning to think she is making up because all the circumstances just seem outlandish. It all just seems like a ploy to isolate me and show how ~woke~ her haggard ass is because that's the only thing she can cling to. Mind you this lady is like 20 yrs older than me. She is so unhinged.

Clingy, liberal, mentally ill white women act very weird with minorities. Idk how to phrase it but they act entitled to us. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this schitt op.
H
A lot of times white women really can’t find acceptance and/or friendships with their own. So, they try to align themselves with black women. They become aggressive and pushy towards us, trying to make you feel as if you have to embrace them into your world. I guess they feel that we have to put up with them since they feel they are superior to us. I say, “leave their asses out there alone”. Just because other white people rejected you and didn’t want you, that doesn’t mean I have to scoop you up and bring you into me life. I don’t owe you shit!
Wow this! I remember a few months ago she told me she stopped eating white men because they treated her badly and with disrespect, and after her last toxic relationship she realized she likes black men and men of colour. She says her current bf (black) is the best bf she's ever had. So I guess since white men rejected her, she moved onto black men!
 
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You kept Beating Me Down; Still, I Stand!
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H

Wow this! I remember a few months ago she told me she stopped eating white men because they treated her badly and with disrespect, and after her last toxic relationship she realized she likes black men and men of colour. She says her current bf (black) is the best bf she's ever had. So I guess since white men rejected her, she moved onto black men!
She’s trying so hard to fit in with you and sometimes people will just say anything to achieve this. Even if she is telling the truth though, who cares about which race of men she’s dating and no longer dating? Who asked? I tell ya, a lot of white people are so annoying and pathetic, yet they go all of their lives trying to front like their lives and the lives of their families are so perfect. What a joke.
 
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Holy shit, I'm not trying to derail but I am having this same issue with a needy possibly mentally ill yt coworker. Even down to her trying to isolate me from other coworkers by talking about how they are racist( which I'm now beginning to think she is making up because all the circumstances just seem outlandish. It all just seems like a ploy to isolate me and show how ~woke~ her haggard ass is because that's the only thing she can cling to. Mind you this lady is like 20 yrs older than me. She is so unhinged.

Clingy, liberal, mentally ill white women act very weird with minorities. Idk how to phrase it but they act entitled to us. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this schitt op.
Girl, are we the same? This older white lady I work with comes off like she wants to wear my skin. She’s older than me and stares too much.
Whenever I come in to talk with her, she’d untie her hair and start fingering it.

During zoom meetings, she stares so hard at me. Some many little things I’ve noticed and seems so interested in my private life. In fact every white person who I work with seems so interested in me it’s annoying. Apparently, I’m the first Black girl they’re working with. My male boss is like this with me too.

My intuition is never wrong. Never..
 

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