Quantcast

Why are so many Christian women in the church single?

Sade Adu

Team Owner
Joined
Dec 16, 2010
Messages
9,925
Reaction score
Reactions
45,805 5,210 2,184
50,249
Alleybux
351,328
Why are so many Christian women in the church single? This seems like a problem in the Christian community and nobody won't address it. It seems like these type of women are pray on often too. Just look at all these single women conferences popping up as of lately. This is why the likes of Heather Lindsey and Instagram scammers can get away and make a lot of money. Because they pray on vulnerable women looking for marriage.
 

KAZIVA

The Devil Is My Friend
BANNED
Joined
Dec 29, 2017
Messages
6,055
Reaction score
Reactions
69,494 3,888 6,972
90,568
Alleybux
0
Why are so many Christian women in the church single? This seems like a problem in the Christian community and nobody won't address it. It seems like these type of women are pray on often too. Just look at all these single women conferences popping up as of lately. This is why the likes of Heather Lindsey and Instagram scammers can get away and make a lot of money. Because they pray on vulnerable women looking for marriage.
Why single out church women?
Every single group of women are single, church or not.
This looks like a bash Christian women thread.
 
Joined
Dec 16, 2016
Messages
587
Reaction score
Reactions
6,679 245 126
6,864
Alleybux
10
Because they are told to wait on God to send them someone and that that someone will be a good Christian man. The thing is, THERE ARE NO SINGLE BLACK MEN in the church. Most are there, especially during football season, with their wives or GFs. If they are single they are usually trash, lol. But then there are the black women that attend church but do not support the teaching that men are to lead and women are to be submissive. I can't with that foolishness. Most of the men I've dated, Christian or not, have been horrible with money. There's no way I would marry someone that would have me downgrade my lifestyle or have me living in poverty.
 

Ququte

Starter
Joined
Sep 23, 2018
Messages
152
Reaction score
Reactions
1,631 109 31
1,600
Alleybux
0
From my own personal experience, I know they suffer from mental illness, depression, and just want someone to talk with that will not judge them.

A particular patron was asked by the pastor not to tell what goes on inside their church. The other members gang up on the weak, pick apart, torment weak women.
 

IsabellatheDuck

bickin back n boolin
Joined
Oct 19, 2016
Messages
794
Reaction score
Reactions
18,658 951 261
19,906
Alleybux
14,631
I don’t know if this is a Christian thing because I don’t spend a lot of time in other religions but I know what you mean.

I wondered the same thing as a kid because I was raised to believe a church going woman was the ideal wife, and that I would only find a good husband through the church.

But most of the women at my church under 45 were single. They were always talking about how to find a husband in group sessions and things.

Meanwhile, me and my dad went to church but my mom didn’t. Women were always all over my dad trying to bash my mom for not coming and telling him he needs a church woman IN FRONT OF ME.

Now that I think about it all the women in my church were trifling smh probably why they were single.
 

ZeeZeeblue

Team Owner
Joined
Sep 29, 2011
Messages
37,980
Reaction score
Reactions
350,437 16,556 14,656
349,415
Alleybux
757,959
Because they're looking for a type of Man that doesn't exist. Just like the majority of Women (in Church/out of Church) are. And a lot of Church Women have bad attitudes. They think they're better than most.
 

NZURI

Delete Account
Joined
Apr 26, 2014
Messages
23,864
Reaction score
Reactions
257,693 8,171 8,001
256,762
Alleybux
602,354
You're talking about black women with the nearly 80% out of wedlock rate?? Clearly it's not only Christian women, but Christian and educated women are the most likely to be married. Mostly because they require it.

But let's not pretend the selection is good for most black women in general, especially if she's "nothing but a black man." But a Christian woman additionally should not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever.

More women need to choose single over fuckery.
 

paradiserising

Starter
Joined
May 30, 2018
Messages
401
Reaction score
Reactions
4,071 149 76
3,995
Alleybux
270
The only men that go to church are young kids dragged by their mom, and elderly men over 60. Single men ages in between don't go.
 

Brooklyn91

General Manager
Joined
Jun 25, 2011
Messages
2,238
Reaction score
Reactions
19,442 524 191
19,582
Alleybux
53,012
Speaking as a Christian woman, I think that there two reasons why there are alot of single women in the church (myself included).

1. I feel like there aren’t a lot of men that are living “right” and are upholding the same standards that many of us have ( example- not having premarital xes)

2. I think a lot of women feel that if that internal values outweighs the external. I don’t think we focus on the importance of looks when it comes to men. We think that because we are holy, we should get chosen over the women who is considered to be a thot. Contrary to our belief, men don’t just value the internal attributes but also are looking for someone whom they are attracted to.
 
Joined
Dec 16, 2016
Messages
587
Reaction score
Reactions
6,679 245 126
6,864
Alleybux
10
The only men that go to church are young kids dragged by their mom, and elderly men over 60. Single men ages in between don't go.

My grandfather is 86 and wealthy. Those 60/70 year old women throw themselves at him all the time. He knows they're all gold diggers though so he doesn't entertain the BS. lol
 

PettyASF

Team Owner
BANNED
Joined
Dec 6, 2015
Messages
11,432
Reaction score
Reactions
96,096 4,443 6,073
92,526
Alleybux
0
Most women In church are single and childless. They turn to god cuz it’s all they have . Church gives them a meaning to their life.
 
Joined
Dec 16, 2016
Messages
587
Reaction score
Reactions
6,679 245 126
6,864
Alleybux
10
2. I think a lot of women feel that if that internal values outweighs the external. I don’t think we focus on the importance of looks when it comes to men.

My cousin told me she didn't need to go out of her way to do her hair or wear a nice outfit when she went on a date with a Christian dude. He was trifling anyway. He had a GF in another state the whole time and hadn't told anybody.

What does that mean???

Meaning she only wants to date black men and not date out
 

CakeSlice

The term "of colour" is a nothing burger.
Joined
Mar 9, 2015
Messages
14,330
Reaction score
Reactions
144,506 6,658 6,183
159,682
Alleybux
838,089
Because the church is full of gay men, older or married men.

Single, straight, young men aren't going to Black church unless they're scammers preying on someone.

I suggest y'all pray at home and leave the corruption and stunting behind.
 

guruexposed

BeautyQueen
Joined
Apr 26, 2014
Messages
4,745
Reaction score
Reactions
30,152 890 554
31,608
Alleybux
153,185
do churches make an effort to have Christian men court women? Because that would be really smart and help push Christian values and family rather than out of wedlock births. they could have workshops and events at church.

with some of my christian friends they just act like if they pray enough that some man will just appear from thin air and marry them. rather them actually try to go out and date

I'm not religious so I'm seriously asking.


a few months back I was doing laundry at the laundromat and this man who i believe was the pastor of a church down the road gives me his business card. mind you, I was bent over pulling clothes out of the washer when he approached me.
 

MSpencer

Team Owner
Joined
Apr 15, 2019
Messages
10,300
Reaction score
Reactions
153,553 1,032 173
223,156
Alleybux
87,000
Some women don't want to do the work to get a man. Men do not just appear out of thin air. 9/10 a man attending church is not single and if he is, he won't be for long.
 

N2Ladies

Reaffirmed
Joined
Aug 3, 2011
Messages
40,775
Reaction score
Reactions
272,324 43,260 20,371
282,982
Alleybux
1,118,125
do churches make an effort to have Christian men court women? Because that would be really smart and help push Christian values and family rather than out of wedlock births. they could have workshops and events at church.

with some of my christian friends they just act like if they pray enough that some man will just appear from thin air and marry them. rather them actually try to go out and date

I'm not religious so I'm seriously asking.


a few months back I was doing laundry at the laundromat and this man who i believe was the pastor of a church down the road gives me his business card. mind you, I was bent over pulling clothes out of the washer when he approached me.
He just wanted to 'lay hands' on your plump rump.
 

Sista Saved

The BLESSED Font
Joined
Nov 25, 2012
Messages
23,172
Reaction score
Reactions
137,634 11,156 10,179
129,682
Alleybux
61,761
Honestly I think a lot of black women are drawn to the church because they are single. It's not necessarily that the church is causing singleness. Unfortunately the lack of marriage in the black community, has led to a lot of unhappiness among black women. The church is a form of therapy.
 

Luv22

Team Owner
Joined
Jan 19, 2013
Messages
9,243
Reaction score
Reactions
66,700 3,852 2,325
69,630
Alleybux
615,176
some of them dumb as hell. I had a church sister let her bf fµck her in the ass because she wouldn't technically be losing her virginity. He dipped and went to the next church soon after.
 

RussoBella

General Manager
Joined
Feb 11, 2017
Messages
1,439
Reaction score
Reactions
6,264 171 42
7,155
Alleybux
13,568
The church needs to help young single black women. I grew up in church and there are no young black men there to date let alone talk to. It’s ridiculous that the elders expect young women to remain single until they find the one meanwhile the ladies telling you this are in their 40s 50s and 60s- and have been waiting for God to send them a husband for years! You have to put effort into dating and even as a young Christian women, i feel like most women don’t want to do so. They don’t know how to and they dont want to. But you can’t sit on your ass and think God is going to drop you a husband out of the sky. And too many women in church believe that crap. I say a good man is a good man with or without him being saved. Cuz some Christian men are worst then the men of the world/secular. It’s very backwards
 

JazzLand

Starter
Joined
Jul 12, 2017
Messages
120
Reaction score
Reactions
1,906 81 42
1,868
Alleybux
8,796
I went to a mixed church in college. There were plenty single college aged men and women. They encourage dating and had many young single conventions. Plenty of people got married at the church. This was completely opposite of my black home church. Most young black men stopped going to church in their teens.
 

dnADeCodER

General Manager
Joined
Nov 12, 2010
Messages
3,520
Reaction score
Reactions
7,511 1,127 1,671
5,904
Alleybux
267,338
Why are so many Christian women in the church single? This seems like a problem in the Christian community and nobody won't address it. It seems like these type of women are pray on often too. Just look at all these single women conferences popping up as of lately.

This is why the likes of Heather Lindsey and Instagram scammers can get away and make a lot of money. Because they pray on vulnerable women looking for marriage.

... I think a better question is, "why aren't MORE single men attending church?" and that's a question that men can answer for themselves. But I think most people attend a particular church IF they're being "FED God's WORD" - being taught HOW to KNOW GOD and HOW to enjoy a Real Close Personal Trusting Relationship with God and His Son, Who is your FIRST LOVE.

ETA: Being Single should be MORE INCENTIVE to spend QUALITY time on Earth getting to KNOW the Persons you are going to be SPENDING ETERNITY WITH = Father God, LORD Jesus & THE Holy Spirit.
 
Last edited:

paradiserising

Starter
Joined
May 30, 2018
Messages
401
Reaction score
Reactions
4,071 149 76
3,995
Alleybux
270
Honestly I think a lot of black women are drawn to the church because they are single. It's not necessarily that the church is causing singleness. Unfortunately the lack of marriage in the black community, has led to a lot of unhappiness among black women. The church is a form of therapy.

I think it's more of moms that had horrible breakups with an ex that makeup the church.
 

Sallie Blair

Team Owner
Joined
Jun 16, 2012
Messages
52,724
Reaction score
Reactions
449,358 14,182 6,597
468,593
Alleybux
855,016
Are you talking about black Christian women or white ones? And what denomination and what region of the US?
 

sweetmelly

General Manager
Joined
Sep 6, 2014
Messages
2,480
Reaction score
Reactions
6,504 255 25
7,306
Alleybux
217,681
Because its really hard to find true love , a lot of men in this day and age are not mature and the majority of women have had their heart broken over and over again ( myself included ) by men who only love/ like you because of what they can get out of you temporarily and then leave you. I have prayed for years for God to send me the right man who will love me for a lifetime and it hasn't happened yet.
 

jexterBobNix

Princess Mix-a-Lot
Joined
Oct 23, 2016
Messages
436
Reaction score
Reactions
2,087 452 75
2,141
Alleybux
15,383
Some women don't want to do the work to get a man. Men do not just appear out of thin air. 9/10 a man attending church is not single and if he is, he won't be for long.


Also women get shamed for doing any work. Dress nice? Wear makeup? Try to be social? Where I grew up, you would get ostracized for any and all of these
 

LBLogan

General Manager
Joined
Apr 4, 2018
Messages
2,740
Reaction score
Reactions
16,500 688 213
17,276
Alleybux
256,763
I'm going to say women and men-- at least from what I've observed.

I know a lot of married Christian couples, but I also know a good amount of over 40 (close to 50) churchgoing women and men who want to get married and have children, but aren't even dating. Some never have dated. A few have dated a little here and there, but have never been in a serious relationship.

Personally, I think it's because their parents, who hail from a different generation, have placed far too many restrictions on their dating lives. One example is the rule of never having a boyfriend or a girlfriend unless this is the person you are planning to become engaged to in the immediate future.

A far as women, specifically, I know several who are in the church and broke the no xes before marriage rule, as well as the no boyfriend until you're ready to get married rule-- some even had children out of wedlock (one as a teenager). They were shamed damn near out of the church when these events happened, but guess what? Every one of those I'm thinking of at this moment are either married today, have been married in the past or are finally engaged to be married.

Others who've played by the rules are creepin' up on 50 with no spouse in sight.

When you raise people not to date or have any experiences with the opposite xes outside of sanctioned church activities, you're bound to produce a generation of young adults who don't know how to be in relationships.
 

hotsunset28

Team Owner
OLDHEAD
Joined
Jul 8, 2006
Messages
11,970
Reaction score
Reactions
80,729 1,115 872
85,115
Alleybux
4,081
I almost hate to type this because it will sound anti religion. But based on my observations, church discourages women from being proactive in mate selection. Some great man is supposed to literally walk into the church, bypass all the other women, and come sit next to you. That's when you'll know that he's the one. His search for God leads him to you.

Now, this happens of course. But for the majority of women they have to make it known they are looking, either through their appearance or placing themselves where men are. The black church knows that single men are not filling the pews, but if you tell single women that...you wont have a congregation. And you are running a business, so you need your customers to stay put.

You have these pastors standing up there making women feel like it's their fault it hasn't happened yet and that perhaps her faith isnt strong enough.

This can be very damaging to women's self esteem. Because while they wait, they are still women with needs. And are torn between waiting on God to send them a man and guilt associated with approaching a man or going online or something bc God is supposed to arrange the meeting. And as proof, your pastor who is married reminds you of how his wife was just minding her business when God said hey man you see her over there, that's your wife.

And so the single woman sighs, takes a seat and hopes to be next for this spiritual miracle to take place.
 

LBLogan

General Manager
Joined
Apr 4, 2018
Messages
2,740
Reaction score
Reactions
16,500 688 213
17,276
Alleybux
256,763
I almost hate to type this because it will sound anti religion. But based on my observations, church discourages women from being proactive in mate selection. Some great man is supposed to literally walk into the church, bypass all the other women, and come sit next to you. That's when you'll know that he's the one. His search for God leads him to you.

Now, this happens of course. But for the majority of women they have to make it known they are looking, either through their appearance or placing themselves where men are. The black church knows that single men are not filling the pews, but if you tell single women that...you wont have a congregation. And you are running a business, so you need your customers to stay put.

You have these pastors standing up there making women feel like it's their fault it hasn't happened yet and that perhaps her faith isnt strong enough.

This can be very damaging to women's self esteem. Because while they wait, they are still women with needs. And are torn between waiting on God to send them a man and guilt associated with approaching a man or going online or something bc God is supposed to arrange the meeting. And as proof, your pastor who is married reminds you of how his wife was just minding her business when God said hey man you see her over there, that's your wife.

And so the single woman sighs, takes a seat and hopes to be next for this spiritual miracle to take place.
Agree with all of that.

Also want to make mention of the fact that many will not date outside of their specific denomination, which narrows the dating field even further.
 

Loqal

Bring back romanticism
Joined
Sep 14, 2017
Messages
18,288
Reaction score
Reactions
332,831 9,095 1,982
380,030
Alleybux
401,101
I think the whole "go to church to meet someone" way of thinking is from way back when people had to trek across the land to get to a church (no transportation). I believe for most people, seeing someone other than your family members once a week meant getting in there and snatching someone up so you can go off on your own.
 

madiya

General Manager
Joined
Sep 8, 2009
Messages
2,848
Reaction score
Reactions
5,784 55 5
6,222
Alleybux
19,714
The young single straight men going to churches don't stay single for long. My bbf's little bro just graduated med school and moved to this new city. 5 min later he was getting married with a young girl from a famous family in the church... She ran fasssssst to get him, even when his family wanted to postpone the wedding because they lost their dad to cancer. Her and her family were pissed ! They finally got married and got pregnant 5 min later...
 

Similar Threads

News Alley

The Lounge

General Alley

Top Bottom