Why are women 25-32 mostly the one's on the "I'm celibate" wave.

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I don't understand what some of y'all obsession is with the batch of black women who are choosing to focus on themselves. Just last week, there was a thread saying BW aren't dating as much or something stupid like that.

Lol. there's nothing wrong with being celibate or being single. Baby, it's actually better if you ask me, quality over quantity, HELLO!

there's way too many diseased up, broke, bottom of the barrel ass men running around and respectfully, I'd rather keep my peach away from that than hop into a "situation ship" just to say I'm getting some. BYE
 
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Those teenage hormones aren't ruling you anymore, and you start to realize that sex can have a purpose other than pleasure.

Tons of people become sexually active in their teens... so by the mid-to-late twenties, that's years of nearly meaningless sex. You start to realize that high school ish was puppy love, and then even in your early twenties, the maturity levels just aren't really there yet, and most of the sex being had is just for pleasure - nothing else.

Intimacy becomes more important and that's harder to find
, so pumping the brakes on sex is best until you find someone that can meet your needs. Hell that the vast majority of men don't know or care about pleasing a women. Celibacy becomes a much easier choice when you consider the alternatives.
This! I didn't have sex until I turned 22, although I dated a lot prior, and it was fun but after a while quality and intimacy like you said matters more. When I was younger I didn't want to get into a relationship because I knew I wasn't ready to get married at that age so I didn't take any relationship seriously.

Then you get older and you lose touch with friends (after graduation, moving away) and now you just want a few close friends and a partner, you don't need all that variety anymore (it loses its excitement after a while). I've had some good times, went on fun dates, met interesting people but that eventually gets boring.

You know yourself, what you want, and you're more focused on getting established in your career and just taking things more seriously.
 
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You are double on the money. In my family every guy and gal was married before 25; that includes me, my wife, my daughters, my son and their spouses too. A BW should start to look for marriage by age 23.
Back in my day, a lot of us started looking for marriage as juniors and seniors in college. But you need marriage minded men for that.

The show Girlfriends is the Hollywood version of what it was like back then. In real life, some of us Xennial women weren't hooking up much in our 20s at all. We grew up in the 80s and 90s with a lot of negative cultural messaging against casual sex because of HIV/AIDS and teen pregnancy. Not a lot of us were promiscuous although the media amplified those who were.

Most of us who were sexually active were in relationships.

The culture turned very negative against Black women around the late 1990s. It got worse in the 2000s.

When we didn't sleep with men on the first or second date, we were suddenly called "gold diggers" and "dinner hoes" and "frigid." They came up with all kinds of terms like that for us.

There was little interest in getting to know us before hooking up because suddenly there was so much commitment free sex available and Internet pro/n. Why should they get to know us when there was always a booty call available? Romance? Courting? What's that?

We were no longer seen as "ladies." We were b*tches. H*es. "Females." The early Internet was toxic.

The culture started to reinforce this behavior in a feedback loop. Men said one thing about the kind of women they wanted but actually pursued another. They'd talk about body counts, but they'd call women who were raised traditionally "boring." You'd have to fight their asses off on dates, not always successfully. They'd encourage their boys not to marry their girlfriends... my brother-in-law's friends never stopped bothering him for "giving in" to my sister's desire for marriage after they'd been together for 5 years and she was in her early 30s.

And my generation are the parents of the men these young women are dealing with...

I spent my 20s disappointed and sad about all that mess, but my 30s were great. I invested in a much healthier relationship, good friendships, and a decent career. I learned to let go of my high expectations from growing up in that two parent Black home with a married mother and father who adored each other. As a young woman, I searched for that, taking my mother's and aunts' advice.

But it's a different time now.

My heart breaks for younger women. I'm reading posts about "Black femcels" and I have talked to young Black women approaching 30 who have never been on a single date. Far from a "high body count" it's quite the opposite. Beautiful young Black women are being left on the shelf during their best years and not because they are asexual. I am tired of seeing it. I don't blame them for seeking love wherever they can find it.

I want to affirm and support every young woman who's posted in this thread. More of us should have spoken up about this back in the day.
 
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Women under 25 usually just want to have fun and the one's over 32 usually just want some "adult time" away from the kids.


25-32 are usually on that "my next relationship is my last" , "the next guy I sleep with has to be my man" wave.



Why is that?



My perception is that "celibacy" follows an extended period of promiscuous sex and bad judgement
they are telling YOU they are celibate because you're a disgusting slime mold masquerading itself as a human being, and they can see right through you. the 25 to 32 crowd is outta your league, golden. i recommend trying your luck with the centenarians. That way there's no pressure to be pleasing in bed, or to make a whole lotta money- two things you obviously suck at.
 
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Also let me just say, at 26 I am seeing a lot of black women who are either virgins, or celibate. Being a virgin no longer has that icky ideology that it once had years ago.
Which is how I know the sexual exploitation of black women is 100% media driven.
This generation is having less sex than previous generations and having it at later ages too despite what all these shows try to portray them as sex-crazed druggies.

 
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Back in my day, a lot of us started looking for marriage as juniors and seniors in college. But you need marriage minded men for that.

The show Girlfriends is the Hollywood version of what it was like back then. In real life, some of us Xennial women weren't hooking up much in our 20s at all. We grew up in the 80s and 90s with a lot of negative cultural messaging against casual sex because of HIV/AIDS and teen pregnancy. Not a lot of us were promiscuous although the media amplified those who were.

Most of us who were sexually active were in relationships.

The culture turned very negative against Black women around the late 1990s. It got worse in the 2000s.

When we didn't sleep with men on the first or second date, we were suddenly called "gold diggers" and "dinner hoes" and "frigid." They came up with all kinds of terms like that for us.

There was little interest in getting to know us before hooking up because suddenly there was so much commitment free sex available and Internet pro/n. Why should they get to know us when there was always a booty call available? Romance? Courting? What's that?

We were no longer seen as "ladies." We were b*tches. H*es. "Females." The early Internet was toxic.

The culture started to reinforce this behavior in a feedback loop. Men said one thing about the kind of women they wanted but actually pursued another. They'd talk about body counts, but they'd call women who were raised traditionally "boring." You'd have to fight their asses off on dates, not always successfully. They'd encourage their boys not to marry their girlfriends... my brother-in-law's friends never stopped bothering him for "giving in" to my sister's desire for marriage after they'd been together for 5 years and she was in her early 30s.

And my generation are the parents of the men these young women are dealing with...

I spent my 20s disappointed and sad about all that mess, but my 30s were great. I invested in a much healthier relationship, good friendships, and a decent career. I learned to let go of my high expectations from growing up in that two parent Black home with a married mother and father who adored each other. As a young woman, I searched for that, taking my mother's and aunts' advice.

But it's a different time now.

My heart breaks for younger women. I'm reading posts about "Black femcels" and I have talked to young Black women approaching 30 who have never been on a single date. Far from a "high body count" it's quite the opposite. Beautiful young Black women are being left on the shelf during their best years and not because they are asexual. I am tired of seeing it. I don't blame them for seeking love wherever they can find it.

I want to affirm and support every young woman who's posted in this thread. More of us should have spoken up about this back in the day.
this was beautifully written and handled with such grace. salute!
 
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A man's body count or promiscuity is a non factor. I dont see why women bring this up. If a man is a manwhore, it means that he is highly desired. Whether he has 100, thousands..it doesnt matter, women will not be turned off by it. Men and women have different desires.
Why ... how ... do you really believe that a high body count for a man means that he's highly desired? The average man isn't "highly desired" material.

Most of you aren't tall, good looking, funny, rich or smart. You know ... desirable.

But, a lot of you are running into your female counterparts: women who are searching for some sort of connection and using their body to attain it. Women who were drunker/higher than they should've been when they met you. Women that are tortured by the remnants of previous abuse in their childhood. Women that are just trying to get rid of their virginity. Women who don't realize that they were actually sexually assaulted by you.

Most of the women that men "easily" get sex from are not the real stories that you all want to share in a locker room, but you have no other choice, as you can't get those other women "easily." :giggle

Y'all are running up behind ten other dudes with that one girl just to say you can, and because she let you for whatever (usually traumatic) reason on her part. You weren't "highly desirable," you just found a broken woman.

You're getting older and older, so your girlfriends are younger and younger because they have no experience sexually or socially. You need them to not know anything, so they won't know that you aren't worth anything.

Most of your body counts are shaky and fraudulent, that's why you get so upset when you meet that "good girl" and she doesn't want you because she believes you are a whore. She doesn't see you as a "master locksmith". She sees you as a predator. She sees you as weak minded and irresponsible. She sees you for who you really are.

I've never understood why men wail and moan so much about "low self-esteem" women or "loose" women, without them, the majority of you would be incredibly virginal virgins. Y'all need to praise those women for treating you better than they treat themselves.
 
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well I'm in this group and I'm a virgin, never even kissed anyone.
I would rather die alone than join the world wide sex web,
I will stay a virgin until I get married and I pray for miracle that I will find a man who's a virgin too. If not, at least one who hasn't been a whore.

The thought of being with someone who has swapped body fluids with dozens of other people who in turn swapped body fluids with hundreds of other people honestly makes me want to vomit.
 
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we're actually starting earlier, i started celibacy in my early 20s. Like i got played twice, and saved myself getting played again. i mean i have been celibate for 3 years. sounds crazy typing it out. i'm jealous of those girls that found their man in high school, and have never had to deal with getting played. feel unwanted and used... they just trust so much more, and see love differently. they never needed to see the grossness of men, and will never had to doubt their worth.

i'm grateful for my journey with men even if it was rough... i found my self worth on my own. i taught myself to not fawn at the first sight of intention, and expect more. i needed to go through this growth, to see that any attention is not good attention. and it's extended to friends and toxic aunties. i am better celibate and fewer but trusted friends.

if i never learned this, i could have lived the rest of my life in an abusive relationship, surrounding myself with toxic ppl just to not feel alone.

know ur worth, and feel encouraged to reinforce ur boundaries. ur not harsh, or mean it's called self preservation. something men despise, and toxic girlfriends chastice u for.
 
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Why ... how ... do you really believe that a high body count for a man means that he's highly desired? The average man isn't "highly desired" material.

Most of you aren't tall, good looking, funny, rich or smart. You know ... desirable.

But, a lot of you are running into your female counterparts: women who are searching for some sort of connection and using their body to attain it. Women who were drunker/higher than they should've been when they met you. Women that are tortured by the remnants of previous abuse in their childhood. Women that are just trying to get rid of their virginity. Women who don't realize that they were actually sexually assaulted by you.

Most of the women that men "easily" get sex from are not the real stories that you all want to share in a locker room, but you have no other choice, as you can't get those other women "easily." :giggle

Y'all are running up behind ten other dudes with that one girl just to say you can, and because she let you for whatever (usually traumatic) reason on her part. You weren't "highly desirable," you just found a broken woman.

You're getting older and older, so your girlfriends are younger and younger because they have no experience sexually or socially. You need them to not know anything, so they won't know that you aren't worth anything.

Most of your body counts are shaky and fraudulent, that's why you get so upset when you meet that "good girl" and she doesn't want you because she believes you are a whore. She doesn't see you as a "master locksmith". She sees you as a predator. She sees you as weak minded and irresponsible. She sees you for who you really are.

I've never understood why men wail and moan so much about "low self-esteem" women or "loose" women, without them, the majority of you would be incredibly virginal virgins. Y'all need to praise those women for treating you better than they treat themselves.
y'all saved your best for this thread. damn. this hits.
 
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Because we are tired & the sex has never been worth the price to pay afterwards. Celibacy gives you time to heal, restart & wait for something that is actually worth it. That's definitely where I am at currently.
 
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It doesn't benefit me to have sex. Not only do I find it to be mediocre if not boring, I believe it is not worth dealing with risk to my health, dealing with birth control etc. On top of that VAST MAJORITY of men are insecure, emotionally immature, dishonest and abusive. Literally every guy is just trying to chill and have sex. I find nothing admirable about them or interesting as they cannot do anything but try to get pussy. If that is all you can do with your free time, you are a low life and pathetic to me not sorry.

While they are so worried about that, I am here saving money trying to make moves so I can move abroad and upgrade my life. Im going to gym 4x a weeks and therapy weekly to improve myself. They are just sitting on their ass, overweight and with obvious emotional issues they refuse to acknowledge or get help for. All while being a needy, manipulative and worthless asshole lacking in human decency. They avoid all accountability by gaslighting and projecting when you call them out on their creepy, lewd attitude towards you.

Thus, no one should be suprised that thought of sleeping with such creatures disgusts me. It has killed whatever desire I had to be with men.. i hardly trust them as friends as friendship to them means I xan fuck you without any regard for your welfare or interest in you as a human being. Fuck that.. Why degrade myself by laying with them when I can satisfy my own sexual needs how I want it, when I want it without dealing with their toxicity and being traumatized?
You said it all !!
 
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Women under 25 usually just want to have fun and the one's over 32 usually just want some "adult time" away from the kids.


25-32 are usually on that "my next relationship is my last" , "the next guy I sleep with has to be my man" wave.



Why is that?



My perception is that "celibacy" follows an extended period of promiscuous sex and bad judgement
Probably because the lovers they have been with was shit and they don't think sex is worth it.
 
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maybe because they grew up with the social media boom (first meeting online then came straightforward hookup apps... all superficial craziness).

we got to see how people older than us connected (not saying it was perfect) and now we’ve experienced making connections in the internet age (also imperfect but an added level of realness was lost). due to that... some are over it.


but that’s just my guess.
i have seen the fast paced back and forth messages, couple of facetimes, an in-person date or two, sleeping together and then people claiming they’re in relationship within two weeks.

everyone is out here acting like uhauling lesbians and that rarely
ends well. folks wanna slow tf down. :ROFLMAO:
 
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I'm only going to read you once, okay?

It's not horrible advice and it wasn't for you.

It's honest advice from woman to woman but of course you would regard it as "horrible advice" because it encourages women to act on what they want instead of trying to be what men want.

You and the other dusty male fonts have a weird vested interest in trying to convince the women of this site to do things your way as if you will ever meet any of us, let alone have a chance.

Btw my relationship is far from casual. We been together years since we were barely in our 20s, live together, and he wants to marry me but it was my decision to not marry yet because we are young and I'm not 100% sold that's what I want to do or how I want to do it. It's a desire for me sometime in the future mostly because I want kids in about 3-5 years but it is a big decision to me, that I don't take lightly.

You really strained with that reach to say "unmarried = casual = promiscuous"

Perhaps that is how you look at things as LVM to justify treating women badly, but others aren't so broken they can't bond outside of a legal arrangement.

The male fonts here like to wield marriage and children as some sort of imaginary power you have over us as women. Just the other day another one of you couldn't win a debate so he told me my eggs would dry up! In my 20s, imagine that.

The implication seems to be that if we were good enough to find a man to do it with, we would have done it by now.

The real tea is that those huge life steps should not be undertaken just because a man is willing to, and more women are waking up to that.

The reason why using commitment as a weapon doesn't have weight from your type is because commitment from low value men is worthless. Any decent woman could go down to the army barracks today and find herself a man to wife her up yesterday. Even the ones who complain about no commitment know that but they don't want to stoop to that level, because commitment from a lv man means nothing.

Don't even try to argue that you aren't low value, because all the men on LSA are bottom shelf. You might hem and haw and stamp your feet, but you know deep down it's true.

You will have to search far and wide to find a woman willing to lower her standards to seriously date you. That's why you police the coochies of next league women in an online sphere, just hoping that whatever you yell into the void will trickle down to change the reality that you hate to see in real life.

Pathetic.
Well, I am a father, married with grown daughters. Women are not suppose to be the leaders in Black relationships. The man is suppose to be the leader. It’s your choice to do anything you want to. But men are not suppose to be so weak that they cannot lead the way.
 
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Because we are tired & the sex has never been worth the price to pay afterwards. Celibacy gives you time to heal, restart & wait for something that is actually worth it. That's definitely where I am at currently.
no i definitely agree with this. there are some girls in happy relationships, with guys that actually played me, and watever no bad blood... but if i don't have that i won't settle for less. some things in life just need to be black and white. relationship with someone who cares, or 100% completely single.
 
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Traditionally black women have always been more sexually conservative and late virgins, regardless of how the media wants to portray us. Many parents go hard on their daughters about keeping their virginity, and not sleeping around especially the religious ones.

The current pool of men for Black women is just very unfortunate. They are trash colorists, misogynists, and just downright mean and hateful. Plus many are selfish and don't know how to please a woman, don't care to learn and only care about themselves. Who wants to be bothered with all that.
 
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Well, I am a father, married with grown daughters. Women are not suppose to be the leaders in Black relationships. The man is suppose to be the leader. It’s your choice to do anything you want to. But men are not suppose to be so weak that they cannot lead the way.
D7-AFF65-B-2-E77-46-C4-BF46-A82-D4-ECD23-E6.png



I don't know what would be sadder, you lying or telling the truth about that.

Lord, if true, please get a hobby befitting for a man your age. Fix up a car. Play chess or gin. Make something out a wood or learn to play the blues. Join a pick up basketball game at the rec center. Get a train set. Start whittling.

It is not sane for an old man to be spending his time preaching on LSA.
 
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Probably because the lovers they have been with was shit and they don't think sex is worth it.
I love to hear young women speak like this. It's called self-respect and knowing they want more than the other women in their life may have settled for.

This f--- boi culture exists because women allowed for it to exist. Doing whatever they could to say they got the man, even disrespecting themselves. What type of prize is that?


I’ve heard white women love ADOS men in Europe.
 
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Back in my day, a lot of us started looking for marriage as juniors and seniors in college. But you need marriage minded men for that.

The show Girlfriends is the Hollywood version of what it was like back then. In real life, some of us Xennial women weren't hooking up much in our 20s at all. We grew up in the 80s and 90s with a lot of negative cultural messaging against casual sex because of HIV/AIDS and teen pregnancy. Not a lot of us were promiscuous although the media amplified those who were.

Most of us who were sexually active were in relationships.

The culture turned very negative against Black women around the late 1990s. It got worse in the 2000s.

When we didn't sleep with men on the first or second date, we were suddenly called "gold diggers" and "dinner hoes" and "frigid." They came up with all kinds of terms like that for us.

There was little interest in getting to know us before hooking up because suddenly there was so much commitment free sex available and Internet pro/n. Why should they get to know us when there was always a booty call available? Romance? Courting? What's that?

We were no longer seen as "ladies." We were b*tches. H*es. "Females." The early Internet was toxic.

The culture started to reinforce this behavior in a feedback loop. Men said one thing about the kind of women they wanted but actually pursued another. They'd talk about body counts, but they'd call women who were raised traditionally "boring." You'd have to fight their asses off on dates, not always successfully. They'd encourage their boys not to marry their girlfriends... my brother-in-law's friends never stopped bothering him for "giving in" to my sister's desire for marriage after they'd been together for 5 years and she was in her early 30s.

And my generation are the parents of the men these young women are dealing with...

I spent my 20s disappointed and sad about all that mess, but my 30s were great. I invested in a much healthier relationship, good friendships, and a decent career. I learned to let go of my high expectations from growing up in that two parent Black home with a married mother and father who adored each other. As a young woman, I searched for that, taking my mother's and aunts' advice.

But it's a different time now.

My heart breaks for younger women. I'm reading posts about "Black femcels" and I have talked to young Black women approaching 30 who have never been on a single date. Far from a "high body count" it's quite the opposite. Beautiful young Black women are being left on the shelf during their best years and not because they are asexual. I am tired of seeing it. I don't blame them for seeking love wherever they can find it.

I want to affirm and support every young woman who's posted in this thread. More of us should have spoken up about this back in the day.
Thank you for sharing this. Overall we are talking about a 50 year systematic breakdown of BA, bit by bit by bit. Much is related to a loss of spirituality, morality and ideological views that have caused this sad state of affairs. I am of the generation before you. At that time we married our women.

I have devoted the last 25 years to mentoring BM. I have given my all too it.
 
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Well, I am a father, married with grown daughters. Women are not suppose to be the leaders in Black relationships. The man is suppose to be the leader. It’s your choice to do anything you want to. But men are not suppose to be so weak that they cannot lead the way.
giphy.gif

Can someone please get this lonely man? Why are you here if that’s true? I hope that’s a lie because otherwise, that’s strange of you to be here.
 

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