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Why do men these days ask you to have their baby as if they’re proposing to you?

Unruly Lena

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Is this the modern day proposal? Why are men asking you to have their son before asking for your hand in marriage. It seems as though having their kid means more to them than marriage. It’s so tacky and disgusting.
 

Red Sonja

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Men are egotistical and they believe that it is their job to choose who can be the mother of their children. It is nothing new, men have been doing this since ancient times. It is just that today marriage has become so bastarized where men run from it but in old days marriage was a committment and a form of manhood if he impregnated a woman. Men are afraid of committment that does not have attachments in the end. Men for the most part care about their bargain when in a relationship and many times having a child is the biggest one.

It also brings to light that men are shallow human beings and they see woman as flesh more than a human being or a partner..
 

smokesilver

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Chileeee I don't know but I do know many women go along with it. I feel like that's why they go all OUT for their baby showers because that's the closest thing they'll ever get to a wedding.
 

DellsFave

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Because there are thousands of birds who are easily gassed and see this as a compliment. They think it's cute and that it means they're a bad b!tch. I literally had someone brag to me that this dude told her "Damn you fine I could be your baby daddy" so of course she let him hit raw then bought him an air fryer. Then less than a week later he tells her he can't be in a relationship because reasons. He was clearly just horny and desperate to stick it in raw for that whet-whet. She was a thirsty hoe that stayed giving away them guts condom free to anyone that told her she's fine. Negro males will say anything to get them walls.
 

TrueLifeDiva

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I literally had this happen to me. It was New Years day. We still had on our party clothes. He took me to a beautiful spot on the waterfront. Got down on one knee. Made a speech about new beginings and the future. And then asked me to have his baby.
 

tt00

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They do and those are the idiots to avoid like the plague . It is not cute nor attractive .

Actually it dries my pussy right up and you will get block
 

TheRealNikkiO

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Must be some low-class male thing. I don’t understand how women fall for that.

Chileeee I don't know but I do know many women go along with it. I feel like that's why they go all OUT for their baby showers because that's the closest thing they'll ever get to a wedding.
:rosedead
 

chanelframes

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Yea, I mean I get some people do not like traditional marriage and maybe I am an old soul but I think it hits different when a man can truly commit to a woman. Ik with Gen Z and younger millennials like myself we wonder what is so special about marriage but that sounds selfish because marriage is not easy and it is in men to procreate and be with more women. Yet, when a man can truly lay down his pride and choose his marriage each day, when two people for that matter, that signifies unity, humility, and loyalty. Marriage seriously is not easy you have to make a choice to choose to be with your spouse each day through the good and bad times ( I am NOT saying you should tolerate any type of abuse). Idk but for me that just hits differently. To know you could have chosen someone else but instead, you choose me each day.

I think we are losing morals and values, and in some cases that can be good but too much of a good thing can also turn bad. So I wrote all of that to say - I think people are either not educated on what marriage is any more or they grew up in toxic families and never saw a healthy display of marriage within their own family. I think a lot of black men do not know how to give love, and I think black women do not know how to receive love. We are so used to rappers and the hood glorification of baby mommas that we do not even know the meaning of a true relationship or healthy marriage. If you have never seen a healthy display of love then there is no way you can have a healthy marriage.

So the answer imo is simple: black men act as if a baby is a marriage proposal because they never saw a healthy relationship dynamic in their upbringing. This is kind of like wondering why you have low self-esteem as an adult, but you have to realize if your parents did not have healthy self-esteem then they could not teach you how to have it.
 

Bostonhello

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Is this the modern day proposal? Why are men asking you to have their son before asking for your hand in marriage. It seems as though having their kid means more to them than marriage. It’s so tacky and disgusting.
maybe because he's foreign and he needs an archer baby?
 

TaryNico

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My love, will you be...my baby mama?

marriageproposaldownononeknee.jpg


original.gif

Except the ring is an ice cream cone from Dairy Queen because these ain't gold diggers and they know that you don't have to go to Applebee's, sitting in your car talking is a date.
 
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vivilili1987

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theses men are crazy, I made it very clear to my boifriend I aint gonna be no one's baby mother. And I know damn well I have not made this clear, we would have had a baby/babies by now.... it's not like I was raised in a stable two parent home, but still very young , not having a father in my life I made this decision. And since I'm not ( never had been) that crazy about kids I can go easily with out.
 

xxnEKbo

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Take it as a threat, bc I know I would. I think folks think it’s a compliment but it’s not.
 

Fongenie

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Chileeee I don't know but I do know many women go along with it. I feel like that's why they go all OUT for their baby showers because that's the closest thing they'll ever get to a wedding.

Take it as a threat, bc I know I would. I think folks think it’s a compliment but it’s not.


Yep.
 

JasminaRege

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Protect your womb from this type of ghetto ass sh!t. People know what they grow up knowing. The best you can do for them is recommend a therapist :)
 

SeventeenDayze

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A lot of guys see if you have your own home, stable job, no kids and doing well they will try to attach themselves to you by getting you pregnant and then you end up paying HIM child support or he moves in with you because he needs a place to stay.

Men out here scamming
 

Pepper Potts

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It's the new norm now. A lot of men and women are open to having a baby with their partner before getting to marriage, some are even planning on it. Baby mama/daddy culture is real.
 

Muzzy123

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I don’t care what anyone says, this is abnormal. You as a woman are a complete idiot if you birth a child for a man who won’t go to the courthouse with you and sign a marriage license long before trying for a child.

No man asking this question seriously is of the caliber that any woman should be dating. He’s essentially saying you’re good enough to incubate my child but I don’t value you enough to commit to you. As a woman you should not be ok with that.

I have never ever heard of anything like this. It sounds ghetto for lack of a better word. Do not give a man a legacy when he’s not giving you his resources or commitment in the form of marriage, especially if you’re young. Just say no.
 
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Mandaazi

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LMAO, come on now girls. The ONLY reason they hit you with that is because they wanna know if they can hit RAW or NAHH. They're not even serious about having an ACTUAL child with you, just wanna know if you're clueless enough to let him get away with whatever...and that's on what? That's on the bro code.
 

Lolaland

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I think this is more of a certain type of guy who says sh!t like this to women, and of course those guys should be avoided like the plague.

If he says that to you unironically, that speaks volumes about his mentality which considers baby momma and baby daddy culture normal/acceptable, so run and never look back.
 

Lolaland

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Because there are thousands of birds who are easily gassed and see this as a compliment. They think it's cute and that it means they're a bad b!tch. I literally had someone brag to me that this dude told her "Damn you fine I could be your baby daddy" so of course she let him hit raw then bought him an air fryer. Then less than a week later he tells her he can't be in a relationship because reasons. He was clearly just horny and desperate to stick it in raw for that whet-whet. She was a thirsty hoe that stayed giving away them guts condom free to anyone that told her she's fine. Negro males will say anything to get them walls.

363.gif
 

SageDew

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Chileeee I don't know but I do know many women go along with it. I feel like that's why they go all OUT for their baby showers because that's the closest thing they'll ever get to a wedding.
I hate to agree with this but it's true. I went to a baby shower recently with my bf. The parents (unmarried) have 1 child together, 2 or 3 from previous relationships, and are now expecting twins. It was a cute event, they went all out for it (rented a space, color coordinated decor, lots of food) and received a lot of gifts. But every now and then thoughts kept popping into the back of my head like "Why aren't they married yet?" "Why is this a co-ed event?" "My BF has a-whole-nother thing coming if he even remotely thinks my Baby Shower will come before my Bridal Shower." (Sadly, my BF's closest friends are all unmarried but in long term relationships / living under the same roof with the mother of their children. So he doesn't really have good influences on the marriage tip, besides his parents)
 
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It's not a new thing. Some females are enamored by such foolish talk. Once the pregnant test comes back positive, most of those walkie talkies start losing interest and are on to the next one.
 

Genovese

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Because there are thousands of birds who are easily gassed and see this as a compliment. They think it's cute and that it means they're a bad b!tch. I literally had someone brag to me that this dude told her "Damn you fine I could be your baby daddy" so of course she let him hit raw then bought him an air fryer.
Just bury me......


 

passion4posh

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Is this the modern day proposal? Why are men asking you to have their son before asking for your hand in marriage. It seems as though having their kid means more to them than marriage. It’s so tacky and disgusting.
Because most people act like marriage dont exist nowadays.Claiming I ain't ready for marriage but have 3 kids.We still talking or dating with 5 kids
 
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Don’t fall for it ladies. Recently a guy I’ve known for years wanted to reconnect. He let me know he has a son and would like to have another one with me. I let him know that I’m not having kids before marriage. He had a million excuses for why my statement is no longer valid. He’s religious, so I was like what would God say about you having kids with multiple women with no intentions of marriage?? He said it doesn’t matter because he is going to be with me regardless. SMH.

He’s a major mamas boy. I believe his mom wants to keep him single for life so she has access to him. While also encouraging him to make her some “pretty” grand babies.

We had xes prior to him asking for a baby. So I contacted him like a few weeks after and told him I was late and may be pregnant. He responded he was at a loss for words. This was weeks ago and I haven’t heard from him since. I knew I wasn’t pregnant but I wanted to see what he would say if I was. He basically ghosted me as expected.
 

abijean

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:disdain come now...

This type of mentality only germinates within a discrete group of dyfunctional underclass Black folks. Cut them out of your life and you won't have men perpetually disrespect you [yes, girls, this is disrespectful].
 

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