Why is my family so "concerned" about me?

SungQueen's B*tch
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I just want to know because:
- When I was living with them they did not gaf about my mental wellbeing
- When I was suicidal and crying all the time they made fun of me
- When I needed love and support for being sexually assaulted I was told to get over it
- When I was cutting due to all their toxic shenanigans I was deemed demonic and crazy
- I was told I would fail at life and I would never amount to anything
- When I was in college trying to study for finals my parent would literally cut their internet down
- I do not want to go any further but let's just say they are severely toxic

But now that I have my own place and I am trying to cultivate a life for myself. They are so "concerned". They're just being nosey trying to see if I have or I am making money. They are also mad because I choose to work from home. I no longer live with them. I am 25 and I am trying to move on with my life. I do not know why they feel entitled to my personal life. It is weird. Like why are they so obsessed about what I am doing in my personal and career life? I thought I was demonic? I thought I wanted your man? I thought I was crazy? If I am all of these things then why are yall reaching out to me? They are obsessed with money. I do not owe my family money. I do not need to share my personal business with them any longer. I cannot wait to move out of state.

This is ridiculous and annoying. I am sorry but I needed to get this off my chest. It is like when I needed them they were being dysfunctional and toxic but now that I am trying to do better in life and turning my life around everyone wants to know what I am up to. Mind your fucking business. I am tired of their toxic nosey asses. Grow up.

I am finally in life coaching and therapy and I am on the path to finally doing better financially. When I get my license I will not let them know because they refused to teach me how to drive but want to put me down for not knowing how to OR they say they are gonna use me to run errands for them NOT on my watch none of you hoes even tries to teach me how to drive. They only tried to now because they are getting older. Welp that's on you. I am finally enrolled in drivers ed and I am not telling a soul accept the innanet anonymously lol.

I just needed to vent.
 
SungQueen's B*tch
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no advice, but i resonated so strongly with the abusive examples you stated that they did, especially with the verbal comments, cutting, and suicidal feelings. no one asked why i cut...i was just labeled as crazy. no one asked if i was being bullied, suffering from the fallout living in a hostile household for years, and their comments on the side about my,,,ugh.

hugs!
 
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you were supposed to be the fuck up, that's the role they created for you, but you took control of your own life and now they've lost the control. They are trying to grasp on to anything they can to get that control back.
 
SungQueen's B*tch
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no advice, but i resonated so strongly with the abusive examples you stated that they did, especially with the verbal comments, cutting, and suicidal feelings. no one asked why i cut...i was just labeled as crazy. no one asked if i was being bullied, suffering from the fallout living in a hostile household for years, and their comments on the side about my,,,ugh.

hugs!
Yea it really is tough but I know you can make it through I am doing it now. It does not feel good at first but these days I haven't been feeling as depressed and I have joy again because I am reminded that I live alone and I have control over my life.
 

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בְּרֵאשִׁית, בָּרָא אֱלֹהִים, אֵת הַשָּׁמַיִם
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People who've treated you this bad shouldn't know anyone who knows you and shouldn't know anything about you.

You need to block, delete, erase them from your life, change your number and don't ever look back.

The minute you free yourself from them having any view into your life, it won't matter what they think because they won't even know if you're dead or alive.

You have nothing to lose by getting those people out of your life.

That's not family.

That's poison.
 
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People who've treated you this bad shouldn't know anyone who knows you and shouldn't know anything about you.

You need to block, delete, erase them from your life, change your number and don't ever look back.

The minute you free yourself from them having any view into your life, it won't matter what they think because they won't even know if you're dead or alive.

You have nothing to lose by getting those people out of your life.

That's not family.

That's poison.
Yea I am planning on moving out of state. I just have too many bad memories here. And my family will not stop showing up at my place unannounced. Yea but once my business takes off I am out of here. Finally!
 
Make That pH Game Weak!
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Yea I am planning on moving out of state. I just have too many bad memories here. And my family will not stop showing up at my place unannounced. Yea but once my business takes off I am out of here. Finally!
So, your business allowed you to take the reigns of your life?You don't have to say what your business is but any advice on making one successful?
 
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So, your business allowed you to take the reigns of your life?You don't have to say what your business is but any advice on making one successful?
Basically, I went to college for Business Communications but I dropped out due to familial issues and I finally woke up and realized that college in this lifetime is not for me. I already did 4 years of business/communications classes but you do not need to go to college to start a business and my professor who knew I was having massive family problems told me this - lol which is why I dropped out and moved away. The only thing college taught me is the difference between B2B and B2C businesses. Cause growing up as a black person from the hood we tend to only think of B2C businesses when we hear someone has started a business. I knew that I did not want to sell anything like clothes or etc starting out so I basically started my own B2B business where I offer services rather than sell things. In the future, I may sell things but for now, I am only providing services.

I am sorry for not getting to the point!
Honestly, become self-aware.
Be hungry because with a business you won't see immediate results or money but you will 6 months to a year (you can work a part-time job while creating a business but I did not want to do that).
I know this sounds phony but I truly believe this: find your passion.
Really know yourself and be self-aware! - I am an introvert so I knew B2B would be best for me. (I still may do B2C in the future).
The LOA is real I am sorry but it is - so I say that to say really visualize what you want your business to be, how you can solve a problem, and really think about how you want your lifestyle to be because the clearer you get on your vision the more you will believe in it.
I can't stress this enough: Please know yourself. Just because someone else is selling t-shirts or extensions does not mean you should (unless that is your passion).
I think what makes anything successful whether it is losing weight or starting a business is discipline, passion, and consistency.
There is no overnight success, but if you work on something little by little day by day eventually it will blow up and you will start to see profit.

Lastly: Do not be afraid to invest in yourself.
If you see a course that you know in your gut that you should buy get it.
Invest in yourself & do research on what you are passionate about and find out if there are courses online.


I am sorry I wrote a lot but, I love to help others. I would not say my business gave me the courage to take the reigns of my life. I would say my faith in God did, and then Him placing people like literal strangers who would give me wisdom and encouragement when my family did not. I also started listening to motivational speakers and life coaches on YT - that gave me the courage to move out. Now two years later I have started my own business because I became self-aware and realized I would not have liked corporate America anyway. I think moving out and realizing I am free and an adult and I can finally create the life I want to live encouraged me to start my own business.

If you have a toxic family like mine please move in silence and do not let anyone know you are starting a business until it is already done. I made that mistake when I was in my early 20s of telling people and it got sabotaged but when I finally moved out and kept it to myself now at the age of 25 I finally have it. Reaping my harvest!

I am just confused as to why my family is so pressed that I am starting a business. Maybe I am socially slow (I am a huge bookworm but slow to social cues), but I just do not get why they so nosey and pressed. Irdc what other people do in their lives. Glad to finally be away so I can be my true self!

You can do it though! Start that business!
 
Make That pH Game Weak!
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Basically, I went to college for Business Communications but I dropped out due to familial issues and I finally woke up and realized that college in this lifetime is not for me. I already did 4 years of business/communications classes but you do not need to go to college to start a business and my professor who knew I was having massive family problems told me this - lol which is why I dropped out and moved away. The only thing college taught me is the difference between B2B and B2C businesses. Cause growing up as a black person from the hood we tend to only think of B2C businesses when we hear someone has started a business. I knew that I did not want to sell anything like clothes or etc starting out so I basically started my own B2B business where I offer services rather than sell things. In the future, I may sell things but for now, I am only providing services.

I am sorry for not getting to the point!
Honestly, become self-aware.
Be hungry because with a business you won't see immediate results or money but you will 6 months to a year (you can work a part-time job while creating a business but I did not want to do that).
I know this sounds phony but I truly believe this: find your passion.
Really know yourself and be self-aware! - I am an introvert so I knew B2B would be best for me. (I still may do B2C in the future).
The LOA is real I am sorry but it is - so I say that to say really visualize what you want your business to be, how you can solve a problem, and really think about how you want your lifestyle to be because the clearer you get on your vision the more you will believe in it.
I can't stress this enough: Please know yourself. Just because someone else is selling t-shirts or extensions does not mean you should (unless that is your passion).
I think what makes anything successful whether it is losing weight or starting a business is discipline, passion, and consistency.
There is no overnight success, but if you work on something little by little day by day eventually it will blow up and you will start to see profit.

Lastly: Do not be afraid to invest in yourself.
If you see a course that you know in your gut that you should buy get it.
Invest in yourself & do research on what you are passionate about and find out if there are courses online.


I am sorry I wrote a lot but, I love to help others. I would not say my business gave me the courage to take the reigns of my life. I would say my faith in God did, and then Him placing people like literal strangers who would give me wisdom and encouragement when my family did not. I also started listening to motivational speakers and life coaches on YT - that gave me the courage to move out. Now two years later I have started my own business because I became self-aware and realized I would not have liked corporate America anyway. I think moving out and realizing I am free and an adult and I can finally create the life I want to live encouraged me to start my own business.

If you have a toxic family like mine please move in silence and do not let anyone know you are starting a business until it is already done. I made that mistake when I was in my early 20s of telling people and it got sabotaged but when I finally moved out and kept it to myself now at the age of 25 I finally have it. Reaping my harvest!

I am just confused as to why my family is so pressed that I am starting a business. Maybe I am socially slow (I am a huge bookworm but slow to social cues), but I just do not get why they so nosey and pressed. Irdc what other people do in their lives. Glad to finally be away so I can be my true self!

You can do it though! Start that business!
Thanks for all the insight into how you were able to make things happen for you, it certainly sounds like you have a lot of persistence and that is definitely very important when starting a business.I don't know if I'll be starting a business at least in the immediate but have watched or read many sources on it and intend to do it at some point in my life time.I still want to attend college and hold the career I obtain from there but do intend to start a business also so I really appreciate you letting me in on some of the things that have helped you, I'll always keep in mind discipline, passion and consistency as you've stated!
 
Bench Warmer
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Sounds like you might be dealing with a narcisstic family system. Check out Melanie Tonia Evans work. It helped me get myself out of the situation. For good.
 
Me So Corny
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OP I am so proud of you. You are dealing with this marvelously, I can't commend you enough. My family is similar and I have basically cut them off. Family is supposed to be supportive, not destructive. Toxic demons don't make a family.
 
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Thanks for all the insight into how you were able to make things happen for you, it certainly sounds like you have a lot of persistence and that is definitely very important when starting a business.I don't know if I'll be starting a business at least in the immediate but have watched or read many sources on it and intend to do it at some point in my life time.I still want to attend college and hold the career I obtain from there but do intend to start a business also so I really appreciate you letting me in on some of the things that have helped you, I'll always keep in mind discipline, passion and consistency as you've stated!
I am glad to help you. It was a lot tbh but things are finally paying off.
 
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I'm glad you're doing better. I wish you nothing but the best! Don't let your family back in. They're only being nosey, they don't want the best for you.
 
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Ohhh I can see that. Oh wow.
Yup. I'm proud of you for escaping, it's not an easy thing to do. Whatever you do, don't go back. Don't give them any info, gray rock the shit out of them. And don't let them make you feel bad about it, this is about your mental health, that's important. Find people who are nothing like them and create your own circle filled with people who genuinely support you.
 
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Thats not family. Family is just a word. Family is shown through actions. Consideration of one's being, checking up on them, loving them though stormy weather, fighting for them, that's family. You can find family through anyone.

There are billions of people in this world, and you are going to meet the ones who will enhance your journey, rather than steal from it. Or find joy in taking their frustrations out on you. I'm happy you find something that makes you happy, and best of all - flourish.

Leave them exactly where they belong, and go on about your business. No one is entitled to information about your life especially of they aren't adding to it. There's so much more to life and you will find it the moment you become the focus of your existence.

Here's to finding a new family, darling. :) (p.s. you won't actually have to find them, they'll come find you naturally. trust)
 
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Good luck to you poster on your driver’s test.. I am so saddened by the number of young girls being mentallly abused in this way. I am older, but can tell you it will not change, and you are smart to break and find your own paths. Surround yourself with people who actualy care about you/. Do not get sucked into having friends who end up using you in the same way your family would.
 

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