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Women Have It Easy In Dating. Men Have It Way harder

HopeAndSlop

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Suppose we take marriage as being the ultimate goal (it need not be, but just saying it here for the sake of explanation),this is what men need to do (with the risk of rejection looming after each step):
  1. Approach her
  2. Strike up a conversation
  3. Ask for the first date
  4. Pay for the date
  5. Lean forward for the first kiss
  6. Ask and pay for the second date
  7. Take the lead on xes
  8. Buy her the first gift
  9. Ask her to be their girlfriend
  10. Buy her a ring
  11. Get down on one knee
What women need to do:
  1. Just sit around, without batting an eyelid or raising a finger, and wait for the men to approach.
  2. Once in the relationship, just stay with the man and relax, while he bends backwards to make things work and keep you interested in him.
Another problem is, a lot of women get lapped up before they get out of university. So as a man, if you aren’t in a stable relationship by the time you are 25 or 26, you’ll be hard-pressed to find single and available women. The women you bump into during your late 20s and later, usually fall into one of these categories:
  1. Taken or married
  2. Still hung up on an ex
  3. Already crushing on some other dude.
  4. Not available for a different reason (focus on career or something similar).
Considering the amount of male attention the women get via dating apps and social media, men usually have a very small window of opportunity to approach a woman, and that is when she is out of a relationship but hasn’t yet developed an interest in someone else. What makes it harder, is that even during this small window, you need to ‘compete’ with many other men.

Then there is the ‘80–20’ rule, due to which 80% of the women are only attracted to the top 20% of men. So it’s only easy for these top men. The remaining 80% of the men are left competing for just 20% of the women.

None of the arguments women make are not really measurable and logic. Women have it easier. Just look at tinder. Most girls that I know made tens and even hundreds of matches with guys. Most of my guy friends, even the decent looking ones still have trouble landing matches.

The real problem for women is actually having too many choices and suffering from decision fatigue. Online dating and the modern dating scene only made it worse. Having such a huge selection of guys is not really a blessing. It becomes tiresome and draining for women. Now imagine what’s like for men when they meet these bored women. These kind of bored women you find online everywhere

So my opinion is, unless you are the best of the best among the male species, the cream of the crop, the crème de la crème - dating is certainly MUCH harder for men. And almost always, it’s a ‘maximum investment, minimum returns’ preposition for us men. In the end, all we are left with, is emotional pain, misery, rejection and abandonment. Totally not worth it.
 

snicole76

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Cranesinthesky

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Is that you in your profile picture OP? That would explain a lot.

Anyway. Women have to deal with:

Having to wait to be approached or risking being seen as desperate, easy xes or taken for granted in the dating process for being ‘easy’
Being looked down on if not approached but being seen as desperate if they make the first move
The risk of encountering men who only want xes and nothing else
Living in a society which is misogynistic and views women as less than overall
The expectation to bet better looking than men and in the case of black women to have amazing careers, too to enjoy considered date-able

Double standards about xes meaning that women often have to deny havign a xesual past entirely so as not to be seen as xesually promiscuous, when men are applauded for having a lot of partners
The possibility of being harmed, raped or assaulted by men they don’t know in the dating process
The risk of allowing abusive and emotionally damaged men like OP into their lives and ergo having to be extremely careful about how we operate in the dating process
A limited biological clock which means declining chance of motherhood after a certain age

Societal pressure to be ‘chosen’ by a man even if the dating pool is full of useless, toxic and infantile men like OP
A greater risk of being a victim of domestic violence or abuse
Dealing with the pressures a society that looks down upon single women and puts men on a pedestal
The possibility of ending up being single mothers and having to beg for child support and help if children are had and the relationship fails
The risk of death in childbirth
The negative social stigma of single motherhood
The many irreparable changes the body goes through in childbirth
Being stigmatised for NOT having children even if it’s a choice
 

Makeupmuva

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Men arent being taught by other men how to be men and conduct themselves in the world especially when it comes to dating and they blame us. Y’all put masculinity on this pedestal that is unattainable and blame women for this.
Men have been bred for centuries to be the ones who take charge, to lead, to provide etc and up until recently yall dont want to do it cause its “too hard”. Yall are fµck!ng sad and stay complaining.
 

Cranesinthesky

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Anyway. OP your issue is you wouldn’t date the female version of yourself. You feel undesirable but you wouldn’t date a woman that resembled you in ANY way.

You’re projecting. You want a woman to compensate for what you feel you lack, not an equal. That’s the truth. Most women don’t have huge standards. Many women date men that are broke and ugly but you wouldn’t want those women.

ALSO, you assume women have alll this attention- most of it is BAD attention from men that are unattractive and have nothing to offer, and most of the attention women get is from men that just want xes, not to treat us well and take care of us.





Anyway if you’re THAT jealous of women then get a xes change.


Problem solved.
 

PhaedraParks

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Women are the gatekeepers to xes, men are the gatekeepers to love.

Most women are miserable because they don't ever achieve love in their life.

They can fµck guys who they are attracted to, but only the top % of women can claim those dudes as their man.

So ultimately, MOST PEOPLE LOSE, of both genders.
 

Ms Her

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Suppose we take marriage as being the ultimate goal (it need not be, but just saying it here for the sake of explanation),this is what men need to do (with the risk of rejection looming after each step):
  1. Approach her
  2. Strike up a conversation
  3. Ask for the first date
  4. Pay for the date
  5. Lean forward for the first kiss
  6. Ask and pay for the second date
  7. Take the lead on xes
  8. Buy her the first gift
  9. Ask her to be their girlfriend
  10. Buy her a ring
  11. Get down on one knee
What women need to do:
  1. Just sit around, without batting an eyelid or raising a finger, and wait for the men to approach.
  2. Once in the relationship, just stay with the man and relax, while he bends backwards to make things work and keep you interested in him.
Another problem is, a lot of women get lapped up before they get out of university. So as a man, if you aren’t in a stable relationship by the time you are 25 or 26, you’ll be hard-pressed to find single and available women. The women you bump into during your late 20s and later, usually fall into one of these categories:
  1. Taken or married
  2. Still hung up on an ex
  3. Already crushing on some other dude.
  4. Not available for a different reason (focus on career or something similar).
Considering the amount of male attention the women get via dating apps and social media, men usually have a very small window of opportunity to approach a woman, and that is when she is out of a relationship but hasn’t yet developed an interest in someone else. What makes it harder, is that even during this small window, you need to ‘compete’ with many other men.

Then there is the ‘80–20’ rule, due to which 80% of the women are only attracted to the top 20% of men. So it’s only easy for these top men. The remaining 80% of the men are left competing for just 20% of the women.

None of the arguments women make are not really measurable and logic. Women have it easier. Just look at tinder. Most girls that I know made tens and even hundreds of matches with guys. Most of my guy friends, even the decent looking ones still have trouble landing matches.

The real problem for women is actually having too many choices and suffering from decision fatigue. Online dating and the modern dating scene only made it worse. Having such a huge selection of guys is not really a blessing. It becomes tiresome and draining for women. Now imagine what’s like for men when they meet these bored women. These kind of bored women you find online everywhere

So my opinion is, unless you are the best of the best among the male species, the cream of the crop, the crème de la crème - dating is certainly MUCH harder for men. And almost always, it’s a ‘maximum investment, minimum returns’ preposition for us men. In the end, all we are left with, is emotional pain, misery, rejection and abandonment. Totally not worth it.
That's not how the 80/20 rule works. If he can't handle rejection, how can be the lead?
 

S O S Y E

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Well then STFU and get gender reassignment surgery like the rest of you complaining ass men do in 2021!!!
 

Eminem

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the men i know always say women have it easier. she can just leave the house and some man will approach her and ask for her number. the man has to risk being rejected. also, most women dont approach men. it baffles me when women on this site think men have it easier. women can also get xes anytime she wants, no matter her age or what she looks like. (the quality of men may be lower, but no such thing as a "femcel" as far as a woman being able to get laid - romance may be another story).
 

vaguebeaut

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I see your points, OP. I do think the initial "getting to know you" stage can be rough and intimidating for men, especially if he is kind of shy with women. But it's really just battle of the fittest. The man usually has to make the moves because women don't want to seem too thirsty or desperate.

But women have to weed through a lot of trash men (liars, cheaters, abusers, etc.) so it's not easy for women to find a good partner. Then if you find someone "normal", it also takes time to see if you're actually compatible.
 

Teamplayer

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You want something in life ...you have to jump through hoops to get it.

If you want to buy a new car you can't just take it off the lot. There's paperwork, insurance, getting tags etc.

STFU and go do some push-ups.lol
 

Remmy45

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Men arent being taught by other men how to be men and conduct themselves in the world especially when it comes to dating and they blame us. Y’all put masculinity on this pedestal that is unattainable and blame women for this.
Men have been bred for centuries to be the ones who take charge, to lead, to provide etc and up until recently yall dont want to do it cause its “too hard”. Yall are fµck!ng sad and stay complaining.
lol yall actually believe the good ole days were great.
 

Makeupmuva

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lol yall actually believe the good ole days were great.
Everyone had thier own issues, but certain sh!t we should be dealing with. Like men complaining about asking a women out or having to lean in for the kiss. Wtf
 

PrimaDonnaDiva

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Can't even debate with you. I'm one of the bored ones lol. I feel like a man really gotta show me something to get my interest these days. I downloaded tinder gold for the heck of it today, got up to 1500 likes and deleted it because the men just did not do it for me..even the cute ones. I'd rather be left alone than talk to guys just for the sake of having someone to talk to. I don't need attention from someone I'm not interested in, and I don't want random guys blowing up my phone.

I think at this point I'm just exhausted and disinterested in dating and the whole "getting to know you" stuff isn't fun anymore. I want someone to just show me why my life would be better with them in it. Most men are ugly and/or broke and I don't want that.

Even threads like this, complaining about having to take the lead as a MAN. Men are just so beta nowadays. I want an alpha male.
 

Purplesquash01

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Women can’t make a man be in a relationship or ask for marriage though. The man always decides


Yes a woman can. If a man really falls for a woman, that woman can give an ultimatum that she will leave if he doesn't marry her.

It's called the, "where is this going" conversion.
 

PhaedraParks

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Can't even debate with you. I'm one of the bored ones lol. I feel like a man really gotta show me something to get my interest these days. I downloaded tinder gold for the heck of it today, got up to 1500 likes and deleted it because the men just did not do it for me..even the cute ones. I'd rather be left alone than talk to guys just for the sake of having someone to talk to. I don't need attention from someone I'm not interested in, and I don't want random guys blowing up my phone.

I think at this point I'm just exhausted and disinterested in dating and the whole "getting to know you" stuff isn't fun anymore. I want someone to just show me why my life would be better with them in it. Most men are ugly and/or broke and I don't want that.

Even threads like this, complaining about having to take the lead as a MAN. Men are just so beta nowadays. I want an alpha male.

Do you meet men in real life?

Online your dealing with a ton of fake confidence from men behind a screen, of course it wont evoke any feelings in you.
 

Purplesquash01

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This is the natural order and it's meant to weed out the unworthy. What else is going on ?



giphy.gif


A lot of women today are getting knocked up by criminals, jobless bums, drug addicts, abusive jerks and men who are unworthy and unfit to be real husbands and fathers. Even men who have money can also be bad partners as well.
 

AgnesGooch

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The possibility of being harmed, raped or assaulted by men they don’t know in the dating process
The risk of allowing abusive and emotionally damaged men like OP into their lives and ergo having to be extremely careful about how we operate in the dating process
These are the biggest risks. Incels like the OP have no clue what women go through. Most women don't have an unlimited selection of eligible men to date. You have to weed through a lot of incel "I'm a nice guy but you owe me" types + dealing with the risk of coming across some dude who is violent in the process.
 

Purplesquash01

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Men arent being taught by other men how to be men and conduct themselves in the world especially when it comes to dating and they blame us. Y’all put masculinity on this pedestal that is unattainable and blame women for this.
Men have been bred for centuries to be the ones who take charge, to lead, to provide etc and up until recently yall dont want to do it cause its “too hard”. Yall are fµck!ng sad and stay complaining.

Dating is hard for young men today because the bar is set much higher than in previous generations.

It's similar to real estate and starting out in life in how it's much harder for a young person to move out and buy a home today then it was 40 years ago.

The American government is trash. The government should be doing more to help young citizens start out in life instead of bogging them down with debt and student loans.
 

Makeupmuva

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Dating is hard for young men today because the bar is set much higher than in previous generations.

It's similar to real estate and starting out in life in how it's much harder for a young person to move out and buy a home today then it was 40 years ago.

The American government is trash. The government should be doing more to help young citizens start out in life instead of
I get that, but the fact they they blame women is exhausting when they should be holding other men accountable
 

PrimaDonnaDiva

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Do you meet men in real life?

Online your dealing with a ton of fake confidence from men behind a screen, of course it wont evoke any feelings in you.
I get approached all the time, same feeling. Waiting for someone to come about that actually sparks my interest.
 

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@Cranesinthesky
A greater risk of being a victim of domestic violence or abuse

While all ladies are women, not all women are ladies

In the animal kingdom a power dynamic exists between other animals. Lion > Hyena > Gazelle. An animal doesn’t dare provoke one higher than itself in the hierarchy. It’s one of the basic laws of nature.

Women want the benefit of the natural power dynamic without any of the consequences. They want the men to protect them. They want to be able to cry abuse when they are subjected to violence. Yet they do not want to acknowledge the power dynamic and respect someone with greater physical strength. They want to be able to provoke a man to his breaking point, yet have the man restrain all natural physical reactions.

And you know what ? They’ve got it.

Most men don’t hit women. Most men will deal with a woman screaming at them and simply do not react— they work to suppress the anger. It isn’t because we don’t have the violent urges anymore. It’s because we don’t want to go to jail. But every now and then, Ray Rice hits back, and the world loses its mind.

Janay Rice wasn’t sitting on the couch minding her own business when Ray walked up and punched her in the face. Rihanna wasn’t making pancakes when Chris Brown walked in the kitchen and slapped the sh*t out of her. Violence is rarely unprovoked.

@Cranesinthesky

Double standards about xes meaning that women often have to deny havign a xesual past entirely so as not to be seen as xesually promiscuous, when men are applauded for having a lot of partners

The double standard exists because an average girl could get herself fked by walking up to any guy in any bar and saying – “will you fk me”. Where’s the *artistry* in that?

a) Girl fked by multiple Men = Shameful Slut.
b) Man fks multiple chicks = Masterful Stud.

Reason… (a) is Easy (b) is Hard.

@Cranesinthesky

Is that you in your profile picture OP? That would explain a lot.

Yes it is. But this confirms my point. Guys have to be well above average looking (especially blk guys) if you want women to approach or flirt with you. Women only have to be average-looking to get endless attention and proposal

@Cranesinthesky

Having to wait to be approached or risking being seen as desperate, easy xes or taken for granted in the dating process for being ‘easy’

If a woman likes a guy, they will MAKE SURE he knows, they will give him hard eye contact, they will be around his area, they will let him know. Problem is usually that's a guy who is often way above her looks level or is famous or rich and that excludes most men.

@Cranesinthesky

Being looked down on if not approached but being seen as desperate if they make the first move

Looked down on by who ? It's not that, it's more that wmen are SH*T at approaching men.

Even on dating apps like Bumble were the woman is supposed to “approach” the man. Guess what ? They dont even wanna do it in cyberspace when no one cane see them !! The number of women who’ll match and then never say a word is downright pitiful.

And if they do send the first message its just “Hey” then "What are you upto ?"

They simply don't possess the ability to initiate anything which is why the human race will go extinct if we let feminists win.

Fact is women love the current set up where she can sit on her high horse and brush away potential males with no more regard than you'd brush away a street beggar.

@Cranesinthesky

The risk of encountering men who only want xes and nothing else

What's the risk ? If you view xes as something he's trying to steal from you then sure. But what's the risk in doing something that you enjoy ?

@Cranesinthesky

Living in a society which is misogynistic and views women as less than overall

This is society is misogynistic ? Where ? Women in western countries are the most pampered, spoilt people on earth

@Cranesinthesky

The expectation to better looking than men and in the case of black women to have amazing careers, too to enjoy considered date-able

No man cares about your career. Male attraction is the not the same as female attraction. Men don't fancy Oprah or Hilary Clinton regardless of their money ane career, but if Oprah was a man ? Plenty of women would have xes with him and yes the women should be better looking than man. God did not make men to be pretty.

@Cranesinthesky

The risk of allowing abusive and emotionally damaged men like OP into their lives and ergo having to be extremely careful about how we operate in the dating process.

That's not really working is it ? Most marriages fall. Single parent households on the rise. Women crying and whining about men 24 -7. Domestic abuse calls to the police are the number one calls. Women are terrible at picking at men.

@Cranesinthesky

Societal pressure to be ‘chosen’ by a man even if the dating pool is full of useless, toxic and infantile men like OP

And those useless, toxic and infantile men are the ones women have xes with. When was the last time you heard a woman say "I just met this guy. He's so nice andf sweet and that really turns me on"
 
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You have to be on top of your game, then the women will start to notice. There has to be something that separates you from the average Joe. If you lack confidence, don't even bother cause they'll detect it as soon as you speak. Focus on becoming better in every way... When you started reaching your goals, you'll begin to draw them in.
 

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@Cranesinthesky
Anyway. OP your issue is you wouldn’t date the female version of yourself. You feel undesirable but you wouldn’t date a woman that resembled you in ANY way.

Women do not want to date their equal. Go on Kevin Samuels show and listen to how women rank themselves. They all think they are a ten.

@PrimaDonnaDiva
Even threads like this, complaining about having to take the lead as a MAN. Men are just so beta nowadays. I want an alpha male.
@PrimaDonnaDiva
I downloaded tinder gold for the heck of it today, got up to 1500 likes and deleted it because the men just did not do it for me

So you insist that men should take the lead then reject the men when they do take the lead that is the epitome of self contradition

@Cranesinthesky

I feel like a man really gotta show me something to get my interest these days. I'd rather be left alone than talk to guys just for the sake of having someone to talk to. I don't need attention from someone I'm not interested in, and I don't want random guys blowing up my phone.

I'd love men to DELETE our social media, DELETE our online dating accounts, STOP putting up with bµllsh!t behavior that girls are giving us.

If a girl flakes on us, delete her number.

This will only work if we do this as a whole. We need every guy we can to stop this insanity. Who cares if we go without xes for a while—this is for the good of our gender. And it may even make girls like you more. Imagine if one day every girl wakes up with no messages, with no notifications. Imagine that happen for a week, a month, a year, FOREVER.

You wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. They would be throwing themselves at us and the balance of power would be restored.
 

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You’re right. Men definitely have it harder. Women aren’t more likely to be beaten, raped, or murdered. Plus, we’ve had so much personal power throughout human history! Don’t even get me started on the biological thrill of having to menstruate, go through menopause, breastfeed, raise the kids, or give birth. But, men have to make the first move so they definitely have the harder role in life!!
 

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