Would you forgive your cousin if she "steals" your boyfriend years ago

Would you forgive your cousin?

  • Yes she's blood and it was years ago

    Votes: 2 3.9%
  • Fuck no that was a big betayal

    Votes: 28 54.9%
  • I would be distance.

    Votes: 21 41.2%

  • Total voters
    51
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So if you had a cousin and you both are teens, She steals your Bf but many years passed and you both moved on. Would you still hold a grudge? Forgive and forget you two were teens. I am asking because...

My aunt was a teen in the 80s and her cousin took her man they were both 16.
My aunt is in her 50s now and someone brought up her cousins name remembering something and my aunt went OFF lol. Those wounds seemed fresh like her cousin did it yesterday lol.

So I am curious how feel about that type of situation?
 
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She needs to leave her cousin in the past...cuz it was never about the guy , she’s obsessed with “taking” what’s “hers”. ID episode waiting to happen
 
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What cousin lmao...

You beat me to it lol

tenor.gif
 
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I wouldn't care..

Caring means you still have feelings for him.

What him and her might share, may not be the same thing we shared. Who am I to stop her from finding love or getting her heart broken?
 
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I wouldn't care..

Caring means you still have feelings for him.

What him and her might share, may not be the same thing we shared. Who am I to stop her from finding love or getting her heart broken?

I think it's possible to still be hurt by the betrayal without still having feelings for the man.

I had a friend who I regarded like a sister cheat with a boyfriend of mine. When I think about the situation, it pains me because she and I were so close, and I can't believe she'd do me like that. I don't have feelings for him, but the trust I had for her was still bruised.
 
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I think it's possible to still be hurt by the betrayal without still having feelings for the man.

I had a friend who I regarded like a sister cheat with a boyfriend of mine. When I think about the situation, it pains me because she and I were so close, and I can't believe she'd do me like that. I don't have feelings for him, but the trust I had for her was still bruised.

Okay, well let it go.

She hurt you and continues to hurt you because you feel like you were owed loyalty. She has shown you at some other time what she was capable of and you missed the original warning.

Let it go.

Have you not made new friends since her? Have you not dated someone else since him?

You're replaying a situation in your head and allowing it emotionally bring you back to the past. Do you think either one of them think about they hurt you?
 
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Okay, well let it go.

She hurt you and continues to hurt you because you feel like you were owed loyalty. She has shown you at some other time what she was capable of and you missed the original warning.

Let it go.

Have you not made new friends since her? Have you not dated someone else since him?

You're replaying a situation in your head and allowing it emotionally bring you back to the past. Do you think either one of them think about they hurt you?

I am not actively replaying the situation in my head. It's over and done with, but it did hurt for a long time, and yes, I've made plenty of friends since her. That was not the point I was making.

The point is that hurt can exist without being tied to still having feelings for the man.

Let that statement exist without adding all of the back story and realize it is true. I just added back story to show how it is personal and true in my case.

The aunt is hurt because of what her cousin did, not because she still has feelings for the old boyfriend.
 
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I am not actively replaying the situation in my head. It's over and done with, but it did hurt for a long time, and yes, I've made plenty of friends since her. That was not the point I was making.

The point is that hurt can exist without being tied to still having feelings for the man.

Let that statement exist without adding all of the back story and realize it is true. I just added back story to show how it is personal and true in my case.

The aunt is hurt because of what her cousin did, not because she still has feelings for the old boyfriend.
you can only be "hurt' by a situation if you feel something emotionally.

you feel something because you are choosing to.

Let it go.
 
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I'll let it go, but I am keeping my distance. Lucky enough my cousins and I wasn't raised on that foolishness, especially over a man.
 
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So if you had a cousin and you both are teens, She steals your Bf but many years passed and you both moved on. Would you still hold a grudge? Forgive and forget you two were teens. I am asking because...

My aunt was a teen in the 80s and her cousin took her man they were both 16.
My aunt is in her 50s now and someone brought up her cousins name remembering something and my aunt went OFF lol. Those wounds seemed fresh like her cousin did it yesterday lol.

So I am curious how feel about that type of situation?
You don't have to forgive to live your life. That's some bullshit and a lot of times forgiveness is a scam.

Supposedly when you forgive someone you are taking the weight off your shoulders and forgiving yourself and setting yourself free. I don't necessarily see it that way

Not everyone can handle the hurt/anger/sadness in such a deep way, that forgiveness can be seen as a solution when it is really a cop out and a way to avoid these feelings.

Betrayal is serious and a lot of people only look at things on a surface level. Betrayal and all the feelings around it can be lifelong, life altering

I think the Aunt still feels the sting of betrayal, disrespect and lost of trust whenever her cousin is brought up. Your aunt has every right to feel the way she feels even up to her death bed

Your aunt is probably a sensitive soul and takes betrayal very seriously. I think her reaction is understandable and reasonable. I know a lot of people are not going to get it and call her and her mentality bitter but I think that's too simple plus it is what it is.
 
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Imo, life is too short to not forgive her and move on w/my life away from both of them. This happened to someone I know. Her cousin slept w/her bf, she cheated to get revenge and he broke up w/her. Years later and she's still trying to get back w/him after all of that smh.
 

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