Would you forgive your cousin if she "steals" your boyfriend years ago

Would you forgive your cousin?

  • Yes she's blood and it was years ago

    Votes: 2 3.9%
  • Fuck no that was a big betayal

    Votes: 28 54.9%
  • I would be distance.

    Votes: 21 41.2%

  • Total voters
    51
Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 27, 2018
Messages
4,886
Reactions
42,025 568 87
Alleybux
248,681
So if you had a cousin and you both are teens, She steals your Bf but many years passed and you both moved on. Would you still hold a grudge? Forgive and forget you two were teens. I am asking because...

My aunt was a teen in the 80s and her cousin took her man they were both 16.
My aunt is in her 50s now and someone brought up her cousins name remembering something and my aunt went OFF lol. Those wounds seemed fresh like her cousin did it yesterday lol.

So I am curious how feel about that type of situation?
 
“Be cool. Don’t be all like....uncool”
Joined
May 27, 2017
Messages
1,158
Reactions
5,745 96 40
Alleybux
102,934
She needs to leave her cousin in the past...cuz it was never about the guy , she’s obsessed with “taking” what’s “hers”. ID episode waiting to happen
 
Long Suffering Broke LSA Font in Need of 2.5 Mill
Joined
Feb 10, 2009
Messages
14,297
Reactions
125,891 5,181 4,447
Alleybux
10
What cousin lmao...

You beat me to it lol

tenor.gif
 
Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 12, 2017
Messages
2,343
Reactions
18,491 432 231
Alleybux
233,452
I wouldn't care..

Caring means you still have feelings for him.

What him and her might share, may not be the same thing we shared. Who am I to stop her from finding love or getting her heart broken?
 
I am smart. I am tough. I will always be enough!
Joined
Jan 17, 2017
Messages
14,554
Reactions
229,829 5,481 1,360
Alleybux
3,869
I wouldn't care..

Caring means you still have feelings for him.

What him and her might share, may not be the same thing we shared. Who am I to stop her from finding love or getting her heart broken?

I think it's possible to still be hurt by the betrayal without still having feelings for the man.

I had a friend who I regarded like a sister cheat with a boyfriend of mine. When I think about the situation, it pains me because she and I were so close, and I can't believe she'd do me like that. I don't have feelings for him, but the trust I had for her was still bruised.
 
Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 12, 2017
Messages
2,343
Reactions
18,491 432 231
Alleybux
233,452
I think it's possible to still be hurt by the betrayal without still having feelings for the man.

I had a friend who I regarded like a sister cheat with a boyfriend of mine. When I think about the situation, it pains me because she and I were so close, and I can't believe she'd do me like that. I don't have feelings for him, but the trust I had for her was still bruised.

Okay, well let it go.

She hurt you and continues to hurt you because you feel like you were owed loyalty. She has shown you at some other time what she was capable of and you missed the original warning.

Let it go.

Have you not made new friends since her? Have you not dated someone else since him?

You're replaying a situation in your head and allowing it emotionally bring you back to the past. Do you think either one of them think about they hurt you?
 
I am smart. I am tough. I will always be enough!
Joined
Jan 17, 2017
Messages
14,554
Reactions
229,829 5,481 1,360
Alleybux
3,869
Okay, well let it go.

She hurt you and continues to hurt you because you feel like you were owed loyalty. She has shown you at some other time what she was capable of and you missed the original warning.

Let it go.

Have you not made new friends since her? Have you not dated someone else since him?

You're replaying a situation in your head and allowing it emotionally bring you back to the past. Do you think either one of them think about they hurt you?

I am not actively replaying the situation in my head. It's over and done with, but it did hurt for a long time, and yes, I've made plenty of friends since her. That was not the point I was making.

The point is that hurt can exist without being tied to still having feelings for the man.

Let that statement exist without adding all of the back story and realize it is true. I just added back story to show how it is personal and true in my case.

The aunt is hurt because of what her cousin did, not because she still has feelings for the old boyfriend.
 
Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 12, 2017
Messages
2,343
Reactions
18,491 432 231
Alleybux
233,452
I am not actively replaying the situation in my head. It's over and done with, but it did hurt for a long time, and yes, I've made plenty of friends since her. That was not the point I was making.

The point is that hurt can exist without being tied to still having feelings for the man.

Let that statement exist without adding all of the back story and realize it is true. I just added back story to show how it is personal and true in my case.

The aunt is hurt because of what her cousin did, not because she still has feelings for the old boyfriend.
you can only be "hurt' by a situation if you feel something emotionally.

you feel something because you are choosing to.

Let it go.
 
Well-Known Member
Joined
Oct 14, 2011
Messages
659
Reactions
3,057 19 8
Alleybux
105,110
I'll let it go, but I am keeping my distance. Lucky enough my cousins and I wasn't raised on that foolishness, especially over a man.
 
Well-Known Member
Joined
May 2, 2018
Messages
2,257
Reactions
9,910 192 98
Alleybux
2,083
So if you had a cousin and you both are teens, She steals your Bf but many years passed and you both moved on. Would you still hold a grudge? Forgive and forget you two were teens. I am asking because...

My aunt was a teen in the 80s and her cousin took her man they were both 16.
My aunt is in her 50s now and someone brought up her cousins name remembering something and my aunt went OFF lol. Those wounds seemed fresh like her cousin did it yesterday lol.

So I am curious how feel about that type of situation?
You don't have to forgive to live your life. That's some bullshit and a lot of times forgiveness is a scam.

Supposedly when you forgive someone you are taking the weight off your shoulders and forgiving yourself and setting yourself free. I don't necessarily see it that way

Not everyone can handle the hurt/anger/sadness in such a deep way, that forgiveness can be seen as a solution when it is really a cop out and a way to avoid these feelings.

Betrayal is serious and a lot of people only look at things on a surface level. Betrayal and all the feelings around it can be lifelong, life altering

I think the Aunt still feels the sting of betrayal, disrespect and lost of trust whenever her cousin is brought up. Your aunt has every right to feel the way she feels even up to her death bed

Your aunt is probably a sensitive soul and takes betrayal very seriously. I think her reaction is understandable and reasonable. I know a lot of people are not going to get it and call her and her mentality bitter but I think that's too simple plus it is what it is.
 
Active Member
Joined
Jan 23, 2010
Messages
251
Reactions
1,001 25 3
Alleybux
241,301
Imo, life is too short to not forgive her and move on w/my life away from both of them. This happened to someone I know. Her cousin slept w/her bf, she cheated to get revenge and he broke up w/her. Years later and she's still trying to get back w/him after all of that smh.
 

Ask LSA

General Alley

Recent Posts

  • Sticky
Joe Budden: I'll Name This Podcast Later
He fired Rory. He said the door is open for Mal...... This ninja here. I think Joe is determined to die on a hill by himself to prove himself right.
My Jazzy Life
eta. She says ppl don’t understand that she can go with the twins by herself. BY HERSELF?! You mean go so sumn with your kids without kailyn to...
Philly Tea Volume Iii. Motherless Children, Row Home Hoochies, Broke Scammers, And Botched Surgeries
what was passion doing while rosie was bring the daughter to the front of the store i would of been beating her in her head. They got all that...
Girl who carjacked Uber Eats driver gets maximum SIX YEAR sentence for pleading guilty to his murder
If the family of the man they killed is waiting for these girls to be released to get revenge, I don’t blame them. They’re just gonna victimize...
Where is Timothy Pitzen?
Another weird case. I always thought the most obvious solution is what happened. The mom took him out for “the best day ever”, then killed him...
I don’t know why I always have to make the most effort with friends
OP not to be negative but most people you will meet in your life will not be your long term friends. You're lucky if you have 1 long term friend...
Darkside to Buffalo Wings.
I cant wit yall What you think ppl eat at five guys
Top Bottom