Quantcast
  • Don't post about your friends here. Post issues with your friends on the Front Porch.

Would you forgive your cousin if she "steals" your boyfriend years ago

Would you forgive your cousin?

  • Yes she's blood and it was years ago

    Votes: 2 3.8%
  • fµck no that was a big betayal

    Votes: 29 55.8%
  • I would be distance.

    Votes: 21 40.4%

  • Total voters
    52

TaTa84

Team Owner
Joined
Jan 27, 2018
Messages
5,477
Reaction score
Reactions
56,152 3,277 169
87,909
Alleybux
187,670
So if you had a cousin and you both are teens, She steals your Bf but many years passed and you both moved on. Would you still hold a grudge? Forgive and forget you two were teens. I am asking because...

My aunt was a teen in the 80s and her cousin took her man they were both 16.
My aunt is in her 50s now and someone brought up her cousins name remembering something and my aunt went OFF lol. Those wounds seemed fresh like her cousin did it yesterday lol.

So I am curious how feel about that type of situation?
 

Zebracake

General Manager
Joined
May 27, 2017
Messages
2,691
Reaction score
Reactions
16,837 789 179
18,562
Alleybux
104,453
She needs to leave her cousin in the past...cuz it was never about the guy , she’s obsessed with “taking” what’s “hers”. ID episode waiting to happen
 

Logan Forrester

Angelic
Joined
Feb 10, 2009
Messages
16,913
Reaction score
Reactions
165,082 7,611 5,758
188,774
Alleybux
501
What cousin lmao...

You beat me to it lol

tenor.gif
 

TGSHeaux

Team Owner
Joined
Jun 26, 2012
Messages
6,189
Reaction score
Reactions
32,126 2,641 2,419
31,512
Alleybux
630
I would forgive her but have nothing to do with her. I had a cousin to cross me like that. She knew I loved that boy! She apologized then did it again. Smh
 

schllasomthn

Daddy’s Girl
Joined
Dec 12, 2017
Messages
5,657
Reaction score
Reactions
50,869 1,535 685
59,010
Alleybux
921,342
I wouldn't care..

Caring means you still have feelings for him.

What him and her might share, may not be the same thing we shared. Who am I to stop her from finding love or getting her heart broken?
 

LaVieBoheme

Block and ignore the racists. Don’t feed them.
Joined
Jan 17, 2017
Messages
21,291
Reaction score
Reactions
358,286 10,573 2,206
399,908
Alleybux
1,500
I wouldn't care..

Caring means you still have feelings for him.

What him and her might share, may not be the same thing we shared. Who am I to stop her from finding love or getting her heart broken?

I think it's possible to still be hurt by the betrayal without still having feelings for the man.

I had a friend who I regarded like a sister cheat with a boyfriend of mine. When I think about the situation, it pains me because she and I were so close, and I can't believe she'd do me like that. I don't have feelings for him, but the trust I had for her was still bruised.
 

schllasomthn

Daddy’s Girl
Joined
Dec 12, 2017
Messages
5,657
Reaction score
Reactions
50,869 1,535 685
59,010
Alleybux
921,342
I think it's possible to still be hurt by the betrayal without still having feelings for the man.

I had a friend who I regarded like a sister cheat with a boyfriend of mine. When I think about the situation, it pains me because she and I were so close, and I can't believe she'd do me like that. I don't have feelings for him, but the trust I had for her was still bruised.

Okay, well let it go.

She hurt you and continues to hurt you because you feel like you were owed loyalty. She has shown you at some other time what she was capable of and you missed the original warning.

Let it go.

Have you not made new friends since her? Have you not dated someone else since him?

You're replaying a situation in your head and allowing it emotionally bring you back to the past. Do you think either one of them think about they hurt you?
 

LaVieBoheme

Block and ignore the racists. Don’t feed them.
Joined
Jan 17, 2017
Messages
21,291
Reaction score
Reactions
358,286 10,573 2,206
399,908
Alleybux
1,500
Okay, well let it go.

She hurt you and continues to hurt you because you feel like you were owed loyalty. She has shown you at some other time what she was capable of and you missed the original warning.

Let it go.

Have you not made new friends since her? Have you not dated someone else since him?

You're replaying a situation in your head and allowing it emotionally bring you back to the past. Do you think either one of them think about they hurt you?

I am not actively replaying the situation in my head. It's over and done with, but it did hurt for a long time, and yes, I've made plenty of friends since her. That was not the point I was making.

The point is that hurt can exist without being tied to still having feelings for the man.

Let that statement exist without adding all of the back story and realize it is true. I just added back story to show how it is personal and true in my case.

The aunt is hurt because of what her cousin did, not because she still has feelings for the old boyfriend.
 

schllasomthn

Daddy’s Girl
Joined
Dec 12, 2017
Messages
5,657
Reaction score
Reactions
50,869 1,535 685
59,010
Alleybux
921,342
I am not actively replaying the situation in my head. It's over and done with, but it did hurt for a long time, and yes, I've made plenty of friends since her. That was not the point I was making.

The point is that hurt can exist without being tied to still having feelings for the man.

Let that statement exist without adding all of the back story and realize it is true. I just added back story to show how it is personal and true in my case.

The aunt is hurt because of what her cousin did, not because she still has feelings for the old boyfriend.
you can only be "hurt' by a situation if you feel something emotionally.

you feel something because you are choosing to.

Let it go.
 

C Ambresha

General Manager
Joined
Oct 14, 2011
Messages
1,395
Reaction score
Reactions
8,074 152 39
8,848
Alleybux
90,686
I'll let it go, but I am keeping my distance. Lucky enough my cousins and I wasn't raised on that foolishness, especially over a man.
 

CatThot

Team Owner
Joined
May 2, 2018
Messages
12,100
Reaction score
Reactions
80,508 2,789 1,293
82,550
Alleybux
13,000
So if you had a cousin and you both are teens, She steals your Bf but many years passed and you both moved on. Would you still hold a grudge? Forgive and forget you two were teens. I am asking because...

My aunt was a teen in the 80s and her cousin took her man they were both 16.
My aunt is in her 50s now and someone brought up her cousins name remembering something and my aunt went OFF lol. Those wounds seemed fresh like her cousin did it yesterday lol.

So I am curious how feel about that type of situation?
You don't have to forgive to live your life. That's some bµllsh!t and a lot of times forgiveness is a scam.

Supposedly when you forgive someone you are taking the weight off your shoulders and forgiving yourself and setting yourself free. I don't necessarily see it that way

Not everyone can handle the hurt/anger/sadness in such a deep way, that forgiveness can be seen as a solution when it is really a cop out and a way to avoid these feelings.

Betrayal is serious and a lot of people only look at things on a surface level. Betrayal and all the feelings around it can be lifelong, life altering

I think the Aunt still feels the sting of betrayal, disrespect and lost of trust whenever her cousin is brought up. Your aunt has every right to feel the way she feels even up to her death bed

Your aunt is probably a sensitive soul and takes betrayal very seriously. I think her reaction is understandable and reasonable. I know a lot of people are not going to get it and call her and her mentality bitter but I think that's too simple plus it is what it is.
 

ismymicon

MVP
Joined
Jan 23, 2010
Messages
621
Reaction score
Reactions
3,550 247 44
3,641
Alleybux
106,049
Imo, life is too short to not forgive her and move on w/my life away from both of them. This happened to someone I know. Her cousin slept w/her bf, she cheated to get revenge and he broke up w/her. Years later and she's still trying to get back w/him after all of that smh.
 

ildergreier

Team Owner
Joined
Sep 12, 2016
Messages
18,269
Reaction score
Reactions
68,740 3,963 8,835
62,692
Alleybux
457,110
You can not steal a man.

Anyway, I would forgive and forget if the relationship lasted through the years, not if it was just shagging some months.
 

Similar Threads

Trending Threads

News Alley

Ask LSA

The Lounge

General Alley

Top Bottom