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Would you stay with a man...

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Leealwil

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If he was sweet, loved you unconditionally, told you that you were beautiful even when you have eye boogers, was patient, understanding, showered you with kisses and affection, tried to change his old ways (i.e. being messy, etc.) Only catch? He has no job.

Would you guys stay with him and help him find one? Or would you dump him and write him off??
 

Rebecca_27

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If he is going to school full time to educate himself then I
would . If he is just a lazy individual who wants to do nothing
but chill all day long then I wouldn't.
 

Leealwil

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What if he had a degree and wasn't lazy... just had no motivation and needed that extra push in the right direction??
 
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Lelia

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He can stay and know I am boss lol...A good stiff one out weigh a job anyday lol...Seriously though I would stay especially if you love one another. I guess he can clean the house whatever.
 
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Lelia

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Originally posted by Leealwil
What if he had a degree and wasn't lazy... just had no motivation and needed that extra push in the right direction??
Hmmm...Very good question today..No motivation needed that push maybe I can do that. I am with Rebecca if that is a lazy ass ***** just hanging around. Oh no that will make a woman get a damn attitude..
 

Rebecca_27

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Originally posted by Leealwil
What if he had a degree and wasn't lazy... just had no motivation and needed that extra push in the right direction??

I think he needs more of a strong a** shove not an extra
push. I would definitely give me a quarter to buy the newspaper
to look in the classifieds. :D
 

Leealwil

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Thanks girls. ;) I think there needs to be some sort of a timeline...
 

CocoDiva

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I have a guy friend like that, and it's hard for him to find a job because he doesn't have enough experience in the field he wants to go into. I am trying to get him to go back to school to get more education/training. I would give him a push and keep encouraging him to look for employment, or at least encourage him to go back to school and earn his masters or something. Employers will start to question the large gaps in his employment if he stays out of work too long.
 

JJ24

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He would have to go!!

Please, I don't believe in men that don't work. God said you don't work you don't eat. And I'm with the big man.

I would be Darn if I'm going out everyday working my but off while he is at home waiting for me to come back with the bread. I'm not a hoe and he wouldn't be my pimp.

Heck No I would not stay with him. I wouldn't want to seem like I would be settling or even desperate.

Now if he was in school that would be something different or even laid off. But he got so much time to get a job. Believe that.

Love don't pay the bills. and if he is like that now he will always belike that.

I wouldn't even give him a push. How that sounds? He's a man! Push my Arse!!!

I would tell him love don't live here no mo.
 

Leealwil

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Originally posted by JJ24
He would have to go!!

Please, I don't believe in men that don't work. God said you don't work you don't eat. And I'm with the big man.

I would be Darn if I'm going out everyday working my but off while he is at home waiting for me to come back with the bread. I'm not a hoe and he wouldn't be my pimp.

Heck No I would not stay with him. I wouldn't want to seem like I would be settling or even desperate.

Now if he was in school that would be something different or even laid off. But he got so much time to get a job. Believe that.

Love don't pay the bills. and if he is like that now he will always belike that.

I wouldn't even give him a push. How that sounds? He's a man! Push my Arse!!!

I would tell him love don't live here no mo.


See, now that is how I was beginning to feel. Like I shouldn't have to give someone a push to have goals, etc. And you are so right when you say love don't pay the bills. To his excuse, he did have a very high paying job and has money stacked up and has been paying bills. Just worried about what he is going to do when the money runs out which is very soon. :(
 
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Lelia

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What yall crazy better get that rock of gilbrator! lol....He aint got to work:D
 

TitanGirl_N_FLRDA

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Originally posted by CocoDiva
I would give him a push and keep encouraging him to look for employment, or at least encourage him to go back to school and earn his masters or something. Employers will start to question the large gaps in his employment if he stays out of work too long.

If you really want to be with him and the job thing is the only thing in the way then I agree and am officially cosigning with CocoD on that part up there. But he needs to find something as soon as possible because IMO sometimes the longer one waits the lazier one can become with wanting to do anything....waiting too long can lead to depression :rolleyes:ya, men can (can, not will) get depressed too :) and maybe even bitterness or resentfullness......everyone has the need to succeed somewhere in life , to feel their worth right?
 

JJ24

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Originally posted by Lelia
What yall crazy better get that rock of gilbrator! lol....He aint got to work:D

I need more than the rock! LOL!! I can pay for that. LOL!!
 

Leealwil

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Where the hell are the perfect men? They may have great jobs, but then they lack in some other way. They may be perfect as far as making you feel like you are the only one that matters but then they don't have a job. Makes a girl wanna give up.
 

JJ24

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Originally posted by Leealwil
Where the hell are the perfect men? They may have great jobs, but then they lack in some other way. They may be perfect as far as making you feel like you are the only one that matters but then they don't have a job. Makes a girl wanna give up.

If you are looking for perfect.....well you will never find him.

But there are some good ones out there you just have to be patience and look. Keep in mind what type (kind) of man you want and focus on that brotha.

Everyone has flaws so don't be so picky that you miss out on your man. But in the same sense don't just settle for less because you are lonely either. God made you as a precious jewel and you are designed to be worn on the best of the best.

[wink]
 

Leealwil

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Originally posted by JJ24


Everyone has flaws so don't be so picky that you miss out on your man. But in the same sense don't just settle for less because you are lonely either. God made you as a precious jewel and you are designed to be worn on the best of the best.

[wink]

Thank you JJ, that was very inspirational and sweet! :)
 

Rebecca_27

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Originally posted by CocoDiva
I have a guy friend like that, and it's hard for him to find a job because he doesn't have enough experience in the field he wants to go into. I am trying to get him to go back to school to get more education/training. I would give him a push and keep encouraging him to look for employment, or at least encourage him to go back to school and earn his masters or something. Employers will start to question the large gaps in his employment if he stays out of work too long.

You sound supportive and patient but would you still be able
to do that if this person was your man and not your friend?
 

Rebecca_27

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Originally posted by Leealwil
See, now that is how I was beginning to feel. Like I shouldn't have to give someone a push to have goals, etc. And you are so right when you say love don't pay the bills. To his excuse, he did have a very high paying job and has money stacked up and has been paying bills. Just worried about what he is going to do when the money runs out which is very soon. :(

Their are other jobs out there. He may need to look harder, relocate, or continue his education as Coco said.
 

JJ24

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Originally posted by Leealwil
Thank you JJ, that was very inspirational and sweet! :)

you are welcome.;)
 

Leealwil

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Originally posted by Rebecca_27
Their are other jobs out there. He may need to look harder, relocate, or continue his education as Coco said.

He is trying to relocate to be where I am. Lots of job opportunities out here, just hasn't found his niche. I guess I am frustrated because I know if it were me, I would be trying harder. Don't want to start to resent him. At first I was feeling completely supportive because it's about "love", but now I am starting to feel frustrated... is it my job to help him find a job. Isn't that what a man is supposed to do? Work!!?? Oh well... whatever is meant to be will be...
 

lboogie02

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My ex boyfriend had a masters degree at 24, was all of the things that you said in the original post, and had gotten laid off from his job a week before we met. He didn't have a job, but I fell in love with him anyway. I think it depends on why the person doesn't have a job.
 

pink-rose

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If he is genuinely trying to get steady income, God bless him. I'd support him. (Not monetarily, but with kind words of encouragement)

A man who is just chilling at home, playing the latest Madden game, talking about how the man is keeping a brother down would not get my encouragement.

Growing up, my dad sat up in the house all day while my mother worked and obtained 2 master's degrees. My mom is widely respected in her profession and my dad is dealing with the hand life has dealt him. Because of it, he is VERY critical and bitter. Needless to say they are no longer married.

I dare not allow a man I plan to share any part of my life with to do that same thing to me.
 

SweetnShy

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i dated a guy who had a job (supposedly before we met) and lost it a week later and six months later he had no job, it started with him asking for money not alot but it was the principal of it all, he wasnt willing to work a min wage job claiming he wouldnt be overworked for a little bit of pay, i decided to move on and keep our friendship at a distance, but it is hard enough taking care yourself let alone a sorry azz negro that dont want to work. now is this brotha willing to work at mcdonalds until he gets the job he wants. it seems there are alot of spoiled men out here not willing to work i have come across a few in my time it is so sickening how a grown man can justify not working somewhere. i tell you if it aint one thing its another.(they dont have a car or a drivers license staying at home with momma got too many kids, there are no good ones to choose from.) no love for brothas who aint working[nono] [nono]
 

camelot

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I've dated nothing but broke men...I need a man with a job so he stays out of my pocket.

He shouldn't be living with you because this can heighten your frustrations as to what he is not doing versus what he is doing around the house that you can do yourself. i mean, i can pick up after myself...i don't need a him to do it.

He can get a job at McDonald's if he really wants one. ON THE OTHER HAND... I do not have a man, so I can't really give the best advice...do you boo.
 

skeeme

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is he making any type of positive contribution to the relationship?

dead weight is a no-no in ANY relationship. [nono] remember the old saying..."i can do bad by myself"!!
 

Q T Pie

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Originally posted by skeeme
dead weight is a no-no in ANY relationship. [nono] remember the old saying..."i can do bad by myself"!!

Girl most of us are doing fine by ourselves, with that dead weight we wouldn't even be doing fine!

Sorry if he is all those things that you said he is, then he can be a distant friend. I just don't have what it takes to be with an unemployed man...I'm not Oprah! And when you're broke love fades away.
 

SweetnShy

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i think when i met the next guy i will have to look at a bank statement before i will go out on the first date (lol). anyway i have to agree about the leaving the dead weight behind, i will drink to that[moomoo]
 

skeeme

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Originally posted by Q T Pie
Girl most of us are doing fine by ourselves, with that dead weight we wouldn't even be doing fine!

Sorry if he is all those things that you said he is, then he can be a distant friend. I just don't have what it takes to be with an unemployed man...I'm not Oprah! And when you're broke love fades away.

PREACH SISTA!
 

Pumpkin

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Originally posted by godiva
i think when i met the next guy i will have to look at a bank statement before i will go out on the first date (lol). anyway i have to agree about the leaving the dead weight behind, i will drink to that[moomoo]


LMAO @ You!!!! I was thinking I might sneak and look at some bank statements myself....LOL!!!

whats that song "No romance without finance"??? is that how it goes???

Like Camelot I have had my share of Broke Negroes.......and aint having it no mo!!!!:rolleyes:
 

Leealwil

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He is a sweetheart and he is good to me, but I have decided that I need a man with bigger plans. Someone with goals. At first I didn't want to push him because he had money saved up and I thought he would do his thing, but it's been a month with no progress. It's not about him being broke or having money or whatever, it's about a man with GOALS and DRIVE. I was raised to believe that a man is supposed to be the provider. Don't get me wrong, I will work and make money as well... but the man is supposed to be the one that provides. So in this last week, I have decided to let him go, be his friend and hopefully that will be a push for him to get his _hit straight!! Thanks for letting me vent gals!!! ;)
 

mvvd2002

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As that judge on Divorce Court said today-"Love don't pay the bills!", but if they have drive and ambition to go somewhere, and the necessary tools then I guess they can be supported until they get it together. But no " Wait till my ship comes in" nonsense.
 
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